A/N Okay… this took three or four days to write. I tried to work on it in math class. Got caught by the teacher… and now everyone knows what D Grayman is. Oh well.
Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori. D Grayman belongs to someone else. If I owned either of them, both would be put with the yaoi manga in the bookstores… and I'm making no profit from this whatsoever.
Warning: I think I may have made Renge a bit OOC in a lot of points. This fanfic was not edited… I apologize. And there is a tiny hint of shonen-ai, but don't worry. There is no way I am turning this into a romance… but it's assured that multiple pairings will show up in the series later!
"Hmm…we might have an issue if he joins though..." Tamaki said, staring intently at a wary Kanda. "Since Mori-sempai is already the wild type, what can we classify you as?"
Kanda closed him eyes and sighed, determined to stay calm. 'They even have types?' he thought.
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Next day, after school, the minute after class ended, the twins had again abducted Allen and rushed towards the Third Music Room to ensure that Kanda would arrive. Sure enough, ten minutes after the bell rang, the young swordsman showed up, face hidden in a mask of 'fuck-off'…as usual.
They had, for the last half an hour, been discussing what host type Kanda should be classified as. Tamaki wanted him to be another wild type like Mori-sempai, but Hani-sempai objected strongly because he didn't want his Takashi being replaced like what nearly happened to him. As you know, Tamaki couldn't defy Hani-sempai's order without risking the possibilities of an explosion similar to what happened in a certain army camp certain years ago.
"He could be the frightening type." Kaoru said casually, looking up from the catalog he and his brother were reading.
"Yeah, he really did scare the shit out of us with that sword of his. And plus, that look on his face…" Hikaru replied, receiving a death glare from Kanda.
"But, Hikaru… he scared me so much yesterday." Kaoru whimpered, eyes welling up in (fake) tears.
"Don't worry Kaoru. I'll protect you from the horrible monster, even if it costs me my life." Hikaru replied in a soothing tone, placing a hand on his trembling brother's chin and bringing him up for a kiss.
"You do realize that we are supposed to be on duty right now? So can you people please get this over with and stop messing up today's schedule?" Kyouya growled coldly from the desk he was working on.
Immediately, everyone shut up and the twins aborted the kiss scene, much to the dismay of the fangirls that somehow got into the room before they unlocked the doors for public access.
"I think we should try to let him be a warrior type or something that requires him to have a sword," Haruhi said, "it would save remodeling him into another personality."
"I knew my daughter would think of such a brilliant idea!" Tamaki exclaimed, pouncing onto the sofa Haruhi was on and tried to hug her as said 'daughter' dropped a 2159 page World History textbook on his head.
"I don't think it would work though. Warrior is a bit too general." Kaoru replied in a bored tone, as he played with a lock of his brother's hair. "It would be too ambiguous of a personality to create." The second his sentence was finished, the ground began to shake violently.
"HOLY SHIT IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!!!" Allen screamed from the chair which he was tied and gagged to since the start of their conversation, though it sounded more like "OOOWEEE SHIFFFF IPHH UUUU UFFFF CAEEEE!!!"
"Don't worry, it's just Renge." Tamaki said coolly, composing perfect posture and serenity as an oversized platform emerged from the ground.
(I can't really type out how Renge laughs without making her either sound retarded or constipated, so I won't try) "Naïve you are Kaoru! Warriors are anything but general!"
With a great leap, she landed on the floor and charged towards Kanda with an alarming speed. "A warrior," she continued with great passion, "is a servant to society. Noble, strong, determined, and eternally loyal to all that he loves. He is every girl's dream, her desire, her savior!" With a dramatic sigh, she mock-fainted onto the floor.
Kanda stared at the girl lying on the floor, debating on whether she was an overly exaggerated fangirl or just plain kooky. Before he could reach a decision, however, Renge pounced onto him and stared at him with an intently.
"He," she finally said in conclusion of what she studied, "will need a lot of training. Starting with that expression of his and possibly a new hairstyle. Oh, and by the way, who's the girl?"
"That's Ellen-chan. She's Kanda's girlfriend." Tamaki said airily, as though Kanda's 'girlfriend' wasn't tied and gagged to a chair and trying his best to deny his identity as Kanda's lover.
"Hmm… interesting. At first I thought she was a boy cross-dressing as a girl. This reminds me of…" Before her sentence was finished, the twins had already pounced on her and muffled her cries of protest with their hands.
"They don't know yet." Hikaru hissed into Renge's ear. They probably didn't mean for Kanda to hear that, but he heard it anyways and he was now raising a delicate eyebrow, looking at the lump on the floor.
"Ahem, now that his position is confirmed, when do you think training should start, Renge-san?" Tamaki asked, trying to steer the subject away from the awkward moment.
"Well, we could start today, but it would seem too difficult because there are no experiment girls we could use except for Ellen, but since she's his girlfriend, she doesn't count." Renge continued. "Then there's the issue that I know far too less about his personality to understand what is needed to be altered for proper modeling. I guess we'll have to stick with using Ellen as the experiment girl if we start today…"
"Allen's not my girlfriend." Kanda said. Why the hell was everyone getting the impression that he and Bean Sprout was a thing? "He's just a close friend of mine."
"You mean she, right?" Renge asked. "Because you said that she was a girl and she does look like a girl so I think she is a girl but she might not be because there are known cases when people dress as the opposite gender to achieve certain goals, but then again, isn't this a bit too moe for reality…?" This went on for quite a while, nearly boring Kanda half to death. Who knew she could be such a chatterbox?
Kanda cast a glance at where Allen was sitting. Still gagged and tied up, he surveyed his silver-haired coworker. His eyes were half-closed with exhaustion, his expression a serene one… or half-insane, depends on how you look at it. The uniform fitted him fairly well, bringing out many of his feminine attributes, making him (for a moment) quite pretty.
'Holy shit!' Kanda thought, 'I was just checking out Bean Sprout. This is so wrong. Bad Kanda, bad!' he mentally chastised himself.
"HELLO??? WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???" Renge suddenly yelled.
"Huh? What were you saying?"
"Renge-san is going to start the 'transformation' tomorrow after class." Haruhi whispered. "Good luck. I hope you'll be better off than Nekozawa-sempai when she did this to him." She added, grimacing at the thought of the memory.
Kanda gulped. This was not going to be good.