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Cas was flustered, and his brow furrowed as he searched for something to say. "My apologies... if... I woke you up," was the least conspicuous reply that came to his brain. He moved away from Dean, and placed the book down next to a chair opposite. Sitting, Cas studied Dean's face, at a loss for what to say. Humans didn't often have the problem of invading other people's heads, so the angel was unsure as to how to ask.
"Dean..." Cas started.
"Yes Cas?..." Early morning drawl thickening his voice, Dean rubbed his eyes and gazed sleepily at the angel.
"Why, was your nightmare, one of me dying?"
". . . Cas, what are you talking about?" Dean squinted, "What do you mean, nightmare?"
"I heard you screaming so I tried to help you in your dream... I was dying. And your happiest dream was watching fireworks." Cas' head couldn't tip any further to the side. "I was wondering why it wasn't hell, or your time with Lisa."
"Cas, I don't have time for this. I need some coffee or something. And... And just don't invade people's dreams, okay?"
"Okay, Dean."
Cas looked around, and then at his shoes. How did anyone get straight answers when talking to humans? Cas didn't know. Maybe he'd ask again later, though Dean didn't seem to want to talk about it. Maybe he wouldn't. It also worried Cas at how broken up Dean had been at his death. Maybe he should talk about it. "Dean..."
"Cas, I said I didn't want to talk about it, okay?" Dean rounded on Cas.
"Actually you said you needed coffee."
Dean rolled his eyes and strode towards the kitchen. "What were you doin', standing there when I was sleeping anyway? I told you, that's creepy man."
"My apologies. You were, screaming, quite loudly." Cas glanced up.
Dean paused, "Look man, thanks for whatever you did in there, but I can take care of myself, okay?"
". . . Okay." Cas looked down again.
So Castiel resigned to just watching, letting Dean's fitful sleeping continue. Sometimes Dean's muscles spasmed and his throat constricted again, but after he would essentially black out, they relaxed and he would wake up. Dean didn't comment on Cas' vigilance by his bedside, and Cas didn't try to help him. Until Sam intervened, that is.
"Look man, you look like crap, are you sure you're sleeping properly?" Sam bitchfaced to Dean. Sam was fully aware of the broken nights where Dean would yell and Cas would look on, ashamed and agitated, doing nothing. "You know, Cas can help. He's an angel, you don't have to suffer all these nights where-"
"Where what, Sam? Where I remember all the crap that's happened to me? There's nothing Cas can do short of wiping my memory, so thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather leave him out of this."
"Cas has been through crap just like us Dean. Just give him some credit."
"Sam! I don't need an angel poking through my head, just so I can get a couple more minutes shut-eye. I have to deal with this on my own. There's nothing Cas can do, there's nothing anyone can do, just... Just let me come to terms with whatever happened."
"Dean, listen to me, you're not getting enough sleep, you can barely close your eyes without yelling. Just give him a chance!"
"Dean." Cas hesitated and Dean jumped. "Sam is right, you know. I can help. Instead of entering your head, I can use my grace... But I warn you, the effects in your head will grow stronger each time I use it -" Dean looked round at Sam, triumphed, "- But that's not to say it won't work."
That night, Dean steeled himself for Castiel to climb back into his head. He sat rigidly in a chair, too anxious and coiled to sleep. Cas didn't do much to help, he just stood with his hand hovering near, waiting 'til Dean hit the hay.
"So, run me through again what goes on, Cas," Sam asked.
"Humans, sleep, with their defences down. I can enter Dean's head and hold back the nightmares."
"No, the part about the susceptibility of Dean versus other people."
"The mind of a hunter will be more... Twisted. And more complicated to navigate. There is a lot of pain and mental strength. So whereas a child might need one night with an angel's grace to be at peace, Dean may need some more."
"Wait what?" Dean latched onto that, "You mean your mojo is a once a night kind of deal and I have to sleep with you every time otherwise these nightmares come back?"
Sam was visibly smirking at Dean and Cas having to sleep together, however Cas looked sorrowful. If only he could be of more use. "Yes, Dean." Then Cas pressed "And the effects will be greater each time. Low mind defences latch on to regular environments because it begins to feel normal. You will feel more at peace each time, however you may become... Addicted."
A silence hung in the air, "Addicted?! Could you not have mentioned that a bit sooner, Cas?!" Dean's voice rose "You've already been in once, does that mean I'm already "addicted"?"
"No, I did not use my grace to help you then, Dean. I used a physical manifestation of myself to pull you away. Had I used my grace to hold back the nightmares then yes, you would be beginning to feel addicted." Cas glanced at their glares "I can do that again, but would be once a night and Dean said he didn't want me entering his head and witnessing all his memories." Cas paused again, "They can be used in some sort of conjunction too. Entering your head can be considered as some sort of... Rehab... For the effects of my grace."
"This is so goddamn complicated," Dean groaned. "So you mojo my head nearly every night because I'm so messed up, but I get addicted, or I mind-meld with you every single night 'til these nightmares clear themselves up?" Dean squinted at Cas.
"Essentially yes..."
"Go for the mojoing."
"Dean!" Sam yelped, and dragged him over to the corner. "What do you think you're doing? You heard Cas, you'll get addicted and he'll have to come back every night! With the other one you can choose not to. Look, I know how bad addiction is, and believe me, you don't want it."
"I am seriously messed up, Sam. There's some crap in my head that no one should see, let alone Cas. And that's final, I'm going for the mojoing."
Dean turned back to the angel "Mojo away, Spock."
Okay so the storyline just got started :3 I have a whole story planned out so please carry on reading! And you'll be pleased to know that fluff is guaranteed :D I feel like I'm more excited than anyone else about this :3 Ah, so enjoy guys! 3 ~Petrichor
