AN: Before anything I'd just like to thank everyone who followed/favorited and commented. It really encourages me to get going :)
Lexa is sitting on the floor in the middle of her living room. The lights are out and an incense slowly burns on the shelf releasing an intoxicating scent that permeates the air around her. She has big headphones on pressing gently against her ears, but tight enough that it doesn't let any outside noise interfere with the soothing notes and hums flowing out of them. Sitting in the lotus position, she takes in a deep breath and allows her breath to slow down from there. The position applies pressure to her lower spine, making it easier to give in to relaxation. Slowly she feels her muscles' tension to lessen. Her breathing is becoming shallow and her mind is drifting into random thoughts that are more like streams of colors and lights derived from the soundwaves coming into her eardrums.
She started practicing mediation during her teenage years after realizing her anger outbursts were becoming worse. She had been told to look for therapy by many of her counselors during high school but she never took any of them seriously. The meditation came as a suggestion from her sister, Anya, when she was 15, after having an episode that would change her life forever.
Lexa was like any other young girl going through high school then, but she suffered a lot of pressure to be a grade A student. Her sister had graduated as a valedictorian student and all the eyes were on her, expecting her to follow her sister's steps. She was extremely hardworking, but didn't really care about the achievements that were expected of her. At that time of her life there was only one thing she deeply cared about other than her sister, and that thing was her girlfriend - Costia.
Costia was her first love, and like most teenagers loving for the first time, she believed they would be together for the rest of their lives. She realizes now how dramatic teenagers can be when in love, but that doesn't make the girl's presence in her life any less significant now. Lexa and Costia had been dating for 10 months, always sneaking around school to share chaste stolen kisses. They would sit side by side on the bus back home and hold hands when no one was watching. Costia's parents were very religious and, for that reason, she hadn't come out to them yet, hence compelling them to love each other in secret. Everything went downhill, though, the day Costia's mother found a letter from Lexa in the girl's backpack. The letter had a heartfelt love declaration and was followed by a poem Lexa had written herself. When questioned about the letter by her mother, Costia had no way of denying its content. She tried convincing her mom it was all a joke and that they were just friends, but her mom didn't buy it, so Costia's parents had her transferred to a different school in order to avoid their daughter's contact with Lexa. It didn't stop the girls from seeing each other, though, as Lexa would often skip school to go after Costia at the other girl's school. They made plans of going all the way through high school in hiding and then go someplace together when they graduated.
One day, Lexa got home to find Costia's parents sitting on the living room couch. Lexa's blood froze and burned at the same time with fear and anger. When she closed the door behind her, Costia's father stood up and furiously pointed his finger at her yelling about how she was completely forbidden to get anywhere near his daughter ever again, about how disgusting she was and how he wouldn't allow her to stain his daughter's soul with her filth. Each one of his words washed over her like gasoline being thrown at a bonfire. Her skin was burning with rage and she held it for as long as she could until she snapped. She went full on murderous at him, flying on his neck while clamoring her love for Costia and accusing him of stealing his daughter's happiness. The man was twice her size, but her rage was so violent she could've easily killed him hadn't she been stopped by her own father. When she was finally under control, Costia's parents had already been gone. After calming down a little, she redirected her fury towards her dad. "How could you let him talk to me like this?" she cried out "How could you just stand there and do nothing?"
Her sister was the only one able to assuage her scorching nerves. Lexa spent that night crying on her sister's lap. "I'm not giving up, Anya" she would say between sobs and hiccups. Every time she thought about the gruesome words she had listened to that evening a new wave of rage washed over her only to be assuaged by her sister's serene words. She woke up the next day, her eyes puffy and red, with her sister sitting beside her on her bed. "How you feeling, pupil?" Anya kindly asked poking her side, but Lexa only returned a groan. "I have to go to work now, but I have something planned for us when I come back, okay?" Lexa just gave a small nod, not saying a word. Anya placed a kiss on her sister's forehead and walked out of the bedroom closing the door behind her. As soon as her sister left, Lexa shot up from the bed and changed her clothes. She peaked out the door to check if the house was empty and when she was sure it was all clear she left the house. She ran as fast as she could to Costia's school and waited for her arrival behind a tree. All the kids had already entered the building but Lexa was yet to see any glimpse of her girlfriend. Her mind started racing and so did she. She raced again, as fast as her skinny legs would let her, until she got to Costia's house. The scene she saw there completely broke her heart. Costia was being dragged into the car by her parents, fat tears falling from her eyes, her ragged voice pleading them not to take her, she didn't want to go, she wanted to stay. Lexa ran towards her and tried to pull her by the arm, but Costia's father acted faster and pulled the girl out of Lexa's reach and into the backseat of the car, savagely shutting the door and stepping between Lexa and the car. "You can't do this!" she begged. But he didn't say a word. Lexa's strength had been drained the night before and she couldn't find it in her to try and attack the man again. She knew it would be pointless. So she just darted to the window from where Costia was watching her with tears in her eyes. She knew it was useless but she tried opening the door regardless of that. When she failed, she placed her hand on the windowpane determined to get as close as possible to the girl she loved. Their hands hovered against each other, with the glass impeding their touch. Lexa didn't even realize she was crying until the words got caught in her throat, "I love you" she said in between sobs. When Costia was about to answer, her father stepped on the accelerator and furiously drove away, leaving Lexa behind with dust in her eyes. Lexa ran after the car for half a mile until collapsing on the ground, unable to see the car anymore.
When she finally got her strength restituted, she could only see red. The rage eating through her like a deranged bull in a sea of red flags. She ran back to Costia's house and looked at it with despair in her eyes. She didn't know what to do. She looked inside the house through the glass windows – it was completely empty. Her forehead was glued to the glass, each of her hands by the side of her head. She beat the window glass once, as if trying to wake someone up. But there was nobody in there. So she kept on beating it. Her sweaty hand leaving marks on the dusty glass. The blows getting harder with every push of her anger. Her whole body was shaking now and she hit it one last time. Her fist shattering the glass with a loud blast. A sharp fragment of the window lacerating her skin and reaching her flash – yet, she couldn't feel a thing. She looked down to her feet, dozens of shards spread on the ground around her, big drops of blood staining the glass beneath her. Even bigger drops. A leak. She looked at her arm - a deep lengthy cut starting on the outer side of her hand, right under her pinky, curving all the way down to the middle of her forearm. There was a lot of blood. Lexa was motionless, she was scared, she had never seen that much blood in her life. She started to feel dizzy and began to walk looking around. She held her forearm pressed against her stomach, trying to contain the blood with her t-shirt. It was really hot that day. Everything started to blur around her, the sounds started to muffle and when she last expected, she tripped. And when she tripped, everything went dark.
She woke up five hours later on a hospital bed, white bandages enveloping her arm and a worried looking Anya standing beside her. "You idiot", Anya said to her sister, yanking a tired smile from her. She reached for a glass of water by Lexa's bed and handed it to her. Lexa took a big gulp of the water and handed the glass back to her sister, "Thanks."
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Lexa's doctor stepped in to check on her. He said she would have to stay under observation for another hour and then they could go home, but not before talking to the hospital's social worker. Lexa scrunched her nose to that but didn't protest. She couldn't even if she wanted to. That night, back home, Anya stayed with her sister and taught her how to meditate so she could calm herself down even when she wasn't around.
It had been 10 years already and she never stopped practicing ever since. Life had become quite hectic in the past years, causing her almost daily practices to dwindle to a point where she felt lucky to meditate at least twice a week. And that's where she finds herself now – in the middle of her living room, allowing her body and mind some rest.
When she comes back from her daze, she slowly opens her eyes. The faint glow of the almost-dying candles are gentle in her retina. Her movements are measured, precise. Before unfolding her legs to stand up, she takes off her headphones and her eardrums are met with a cacophony of loud voices and music. She's way too peaceful at the moment to feel annoyed, so she just tries to block it out of her attention span. She blows out the remaining candles and heads to her bedroom. She goes through her modest nigh-time routine – herbal face astringent, teeth brushing and body lotion – and lies on the bed, ready to be taken into Morpheus' embracing arms.
But she can't.
She rolls around in bed for a whole hour, still trying not to lose the lasting peace gathered from her meditation, but it's nearly impossible when it's – she looks at the clock by her bedside – two in the morning and her boisterous neighbors can't seem to find any common sense within their probably drunk heads. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, collects herself and gets out of bed. It's all good, she knows Raven, she knows the girl is not that oblivious. She's just going to go there and ask – nicely – for her to turn the volume down. Shouldn't be a problem.
She opens the door to the hallway, the fuss becomes louder, she steps outside towards the other door and rings the doorbell. She waits for a few seconds but nobody answers. They were obviously so loud they couldn't even hear the doorbell. She rings the doorbell again and waits for another few seconds, she can already feel her face crumpling with annoyance when the door jerks open and a blonde stranger appears. Damn it. That's not Raven.
"Hi?" she tentatively says but the girl standing in front of her doesn't seem to listen. Her blue eyes are piercing straight into her own, but it looks like they're going right through her, because the girl still doesn't notice when she tries to talk again "Excuse me?"
Nothing. The girl is static before her eyes. And her eyes… her blue eyes are reaching into her like the centerpiece of a claw machine. She doesn't know what the blonde girl's trying to catch in there but it's making her extremely uncomfortable, so she raises her voice and tries once more, "Excuse me!"
The blonde finally seems to be back to reality but instead of saying something she steps aside, motioning for her to go in. Lexa is starting to feel annoyed so she just poses her request in the most polite manner she can, "Is it possible for you people to turn down the volume?"
"What is it?"
Lexa's displeasure starts to show when she rolls her eyes to the annoying lack of awareness of the girl, "I'm trying to sleep over here and you people are too loud."
She waits for any kind of response. Nothing. "Would it be possible for you to turn the goddamn volume down?"
"It's Saturday!"
"It's two in the morning!" she bites back without even trying to sound nice anymore.
"Woooow," says the clearly drunk blonde, "I am really drunk right now." No shit, lady. I could never tell – Lexa thinks.
"And you!" a pointy finger drunkenly floats before her, "You are beautiful!"
What.
Wait.
What.
"Just try to be quiet, please!" is all Lexa can articulate. Her cheeks suddenly feel really hot and she turns around to hide her embarrassment. She starts going back to her apartment when the drunk voice behind her calls again, "Hey!"
She instinctively turns around waiting for a continuation albeit not knowing why she does it in the first place, "Go out with me!"
What. No. What is happening?
"No."
Lexa tries not to run back to her apartment and fights to keep her composure, it feels like all the strength necessary to keep it cool is pushing her insides and the pressure is being relieved through her eyes.
"Your loss!" she hears behind her. It's almost funny. It would be if she wasn't in such distress. But it's also bragging.
She gets to her apartment and hurries to close the door. Without really thinking, she throws a final glance to the blonde across the hall - she's smiling. She proceeds to shut the door and leans her forehead against it bracing herself.
"You looked!" she hears through the wood barrier. Her heart is racing, her skin is prickling. Her eyes start stinging, she shuts them. What the hell just happened?
"Shit!"
"I DID WHAT?!" Clarke is dumbfounded, her own outcry making her insides buzz with the alcohol imprints in her head, which is being held by her hands while she steadies herself with her elbows on the counter. Raven is standing on the other side pouring some coffee for the blonde.
"You said she was beautiful and then asked her out", the words leave an amused smile on Raven's lips, she just can't contain herself.
"Are you serious?" Clarke was now eyeing her with a mixture of despair and hope in her eyes – hoping it was nothing but a prank from her silly roommate.
"Dixie Chicks serious."
"Oh my god, Raven! Why didn't you stop me? Why did you let me do this?" Clarke's arms faltered and she let her head fall on top of them hiding her face on the counter top. Half of her words muffled by her arms.
"Because it was fun to watch!" she burst into laughter unable to hold herself down "Also, it was really exciting! I actually felt sorry I didn't have any popcorn at the time. But then I fixed that as you can see."
Clarke raised her head slightly up towards some scattered popcorn on the counter. She rolled her eyes, picked one up and threw it at her cracked up roommate. "I can't believe I did this."
"You so did."
"I can't believe you let me do th-", realization brought her to a halt. She looked at the scattered popcorn, then down to her own fidgeting hands, then behind her at the apartment door, then back to her hands and finally at her friend. Raven didn't seem to catch the moment, but Clarke was too curious not to ask. Embarrassed, yes. But even more curious. "So… What did she say?" the words fell from her lips in unimpressed mumbles.
Raven was laughing so much she missed the whispered question "What?"
Clarke rolled her eyes before repeating "What did she say?" her eyes never meeting Raven's.
"Oh, god." Raven had a shocked, yet still amused, expression. Her eyes as wide as her mouth that was now hanging open with mirth. "You're really interested!"
"Shut up! I'm not!" Clarke looked like it was the most preposterous concept she had ever heard.
"Are too!"
"Raven!"
"What?!"
"I don't even know her!" Clarke tried to remember how the exchange had gone the night before, but she could only see some flashes of the other girl's face. It was all blurry in her memory. In her mind, the whole scene had been trimmed down to what seemed like different versions of the same static second in repeat. The images were foggy but for one detail – her eyes. She remembered the other girl's eyes. They were green. And they were gorgeous. "I don't even know her name!" she snaps.
"Lexa." Raven clarifies more than willingly.
"Lexa?"
"That's her name."
"Lexa." Clarke's eyes are distant for a while. Her brain connecting the sounds her mouth is producing to the green eyes flashing in her mind, "Lexa" she whispers once again, more to herself than anything, momentarily unaware that Raven is still there.
The unawareness is broken by Raven's sing-songy voice, "You have a crush on he-er".
"I do not!" the blonde barks back "I told you I don't even know her. I barely remember her face. How the hell would I have a crush on her?"
"Dude, you were murmuring her name there!" Raven teases once more. Clarke looks outraged.
"I was just…" what was she doing? "You know…" she didn't know.
"Praying your love for our neighbor?" Raven raised her eyebrows in an accusatory witty way.
"Love?! Come on, Raven! Have you lost your mind?"
"No." she answered seriously "But you have!" she snorted again. Clarke just threw her a pointed nasty look and kept silent, realizing her roommate was not going to leave her alone so soon.
"Ok. Ok." Raven conceded taking a deep breath to steady herself from all the laughing. "She said no."
"What?" Clarke was puzzled.
"You asked what she said" she explained "you know, when you asked her out."
"Oh," only now Clarke remembered her question from a few moments ago. The question that had started all this banter between the two. "Oh." she suddenly realized what her friend was telling her.
She didn't have time to mask the disappointment in her voice. She didn't know why she was disappointed. She didn't even know the girl – she said so herself. Maybe it was just an ego kind of thing. No one liked to be turned down, right? Either way, she decided to change the subject before Raven could make any snarky remark about it. "How do you even remember all of that?" she inquired "You drank as much as I did last night - if not more!"
Raven was going to comment on the frustration in her roommate's voice, but the trick seemed to work on her.
"I'm just not the forgetful kind of drunk", she flaunted.
"What kind of drunk are you?" Clarke side-eyed her suspiciously.
"That topic is not on the table today. But Lexa…" she tried to get away with the query.
"No! No way!" Clarke was suddenly alive with the exhilarating power of curiosity, she knew there was something her roommate was not telling her "You're not turning this against me again! Come on! Spill the beans!"
"There are no beans to be spilled, Clarke." she was suddenly very serious, but Clarke knew it was just a façade "But let me tell you something…"
Clarke's ears perk up, trusting she's about to hear some juicy revelation from her roommate.
"You can't use this "I don't know her" rubbish as an excuse", she mocked Clarke's words tugging an eye-roll from the blonde "She lives across the hall, you can go get to know her anytime."
Clarke shot up from the stool and turned her back to her annoying roommate. "That's it," she blurts out walking away from the kitchen "I give up."
"Come on, Clarke!" Raven shouted towards the blonde. "You know you want to!" her smug look was too big to contain.
"Oh," Clarke pointed midway to her room "Nice reference, by the way." but Raven didn't seem to follow, so she complemented "Dixie Chicks serious" she grinned.
"I know, right!?" she looked truly proud of herself for that "And I'm so glad you got it!" and also proud of her new friend, "You really are the chosen one!".
"Chosen one out!" the blonde uttered from the distance.
She closed the door behind her but could still hear Raven's snickering. That girl was a pain in the ass. If she hadn't been trained her whole life to endure this kind of mockery she would actually feel irritated, but right now she just felt intrigued. Since the moment Raven told her about the late night scandal with their neighbor, she started forcing her mind to remember what had happened. The more she thought about it, the clearer it got. But then again, she didn't know if those were actual memories or if they were some kind of creation from her brain. She had to admit – to herself, at least – that she was curious about their odd encounter. She had been wondering about her neighbor since Finn mentioned her.
Before all of that scene, she had no idea who the neighbor was - she only knew it was a "she". But she didn't know if it was a young girl or an old lady. She didn't know if she was tall. If she liked arts or sports or music. She still didn't know most of that. But she knew she had killer green eyes - that was for sure.
Lying on her bed, Clarke starts imagining what it would be like if she decided to knock on Lexa's door to, I don't know, apologize, maybe? She had just moved in, after all, she couldn't begin her neighbor life in such an awkward situation. Maybe it was a good idea, just going there and apologizing. What harm could it do? But then she remembered the content of their interaction. She had been brutally turned down – according to what she had been told. Sure, she had no intention of coming on to a stranger like that, so it's not like it was a real turndown. It was just the alcohol in her blood speaking. And if she went there, she could explain exactly that to the girl and maybe she wouldn't be in such dire straits. That seemed like a reasonable idea.
She decided to shower to let the thought simmer, hoping the hot water would soothe her worries, which she thought were already exaggerated. She attributed that to Raven's insistence of making a big deal out of it when, clearly, it was just a trivial misunderstanding caused by excessive alcohol ingestion. Nothing more. So she finally decided she would go there and talk things out with her Lexa. Neighbor. She would talk things out with her neighbor.
She got out of the shower and walked to her bedroom with the towel wrapped around her torso. She opened the closet door and stood there looking at all of her clothes. She picked a washed skinny jeans and a black and white, long sleeved, baseball t-shirt – "Too obvious".
Then, she changed into a white tank top – "Even more obvious".
Then, she tried on a dress just for the fun of it – "Too girly".
After that, she put on a pair of black skinny pants and a long sleeved black shirt that held her in all the right places – "Too dark".
She looked over to her bed, all the clothes scattered on top of it, "What the hell, Clarke?"
She finally put the washed jeans back on, the white tank top and completed the look with a dark grey button shirt – entirely unbuttoned – and the sleeves rolled up to her elbows – "Not at all obvious" she quipped to herself. She put on her mulberry scented body oil, traced her lower lid with an eyeliner and fixed her hair using nothing but her fingers and a couple drops of Argan oil, giving a natural movement to her cascading blond waves. It's not like she did this every day. But she did it most days. Also, it was Sunday, which meant the next would be her first day on her new job, and she was nervous about it, so treating herself was like a way of relaxing for the day to come. And the stars were probably aligned in a way that made her feel like spending some extra minutes taking care of her appearance and whatnots. It wasn't because of Lexa. No. That would be silly.
Finally ready, she went back to the living room hoping Raven was already back in her bedroom so she wouldn't have to say where she was going. She was afraid that if her roommate was there, she would get discouraged to pursue her goal of elucidating the ~Lexa incident~ – that's how she was calling it in her head. Her hopes went down the drain when, entering the living room, she received a wolf-whistle from her roommate "What's the occasion, kitten?"
"Nothing," Clarke wasn't really in the mood of explaining herself, she knew if she did Raven would never stop mocking her and she would end up giving up on her plan – that wasn't even a plan, actually.
"Just watching some TV…", she said casually, sitting on the couch, trying to maintain her confidence and stay on the tracks.
"So you want me to believe you pampered yourself to watch TV?" Raven inquired incredulously.
"I'm not pampered. But yes." the blonde dismissed nonchalantly. She didn't want to admit but her determination was starting to fade. "Where's the remote?"
"You have eyeliner on," Raven reached the remote and handed it to Clarke "You even smell good!" she insinuated giving Clarke a slight sniff.
"Hey, don't be creepy!" Clarke waved her off with a laugh.
"So don't lie to me!" Raven said sitting next to the blonde and poking her side.
"Well, I might go out in a while just to look around. You know, scout a bit." she improvised while pressing the Power button on the remote. Raven hummed but didn't say anything else. And if she was being honest, she might just do that after all.
She didn't think she still had it in her to go over to her neighbor, but that changed when she turned the TV screen on to the movie channel that was now playing none other than 'The Girl Next Door'. It had to be sign. And signs could not be ignored, Clarke believed. They just couldn't. So she quickly switched the channel hoping Raven hadn't noticed.
"Actually" she excused herself "I think I'm just gonna go now." She didn't wait for any response from her roommate.
Clarke shot up in one determined movement. Her eyes already on the door. Then her hand on the handle. She closed the door behind her and looked ahead. The hall stretched before her seemed wider than usual. Like a whole journey would unfold under her feet on the way to her neighbor's apartment. She took the first step forward and after three regular strides she was there. Her hand already shaped into a fist, her knuckles ready to make her presence known. This was it. Her fist hovered for a few seconds in front of the door but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She should've thought this through more carefully. She should've rehearsed, goddammit. She had been part of the drama club for a full semester, for heaven's sake! She knew how to memorize lines! But thank goodness this wasn't a play or she would be gawking in the middle of a blank with a whole audience to judge her incompetence.
She was about to give up and run back to her apartment when a sudden blow of air carrying an exotic scent hit her right in the face, and a green eyed beauty appeared dazzled in front of her. It was impossible to tell which one of them was more paralyzed. Lexa thought about reclosing the door but even in her disconcerting shock she knew how rude that would be. Clarke was now regretting not giving up sooner but managed to escape her stiffness before the moment got even more awkward.
"Hi!", she sounded way too excited.
"I'm Clarke", she toned down a notch reaching out her hand for the girl to shake. She miscalculated the distance between them, though, not realizing how close they were, and ended up accidentally poking right above the other girl's groin.
"Oh, god! I'm sorry!", she instantly retracted both her hands and glued them to her own stomach "I didn't mean to touch you" she continued "Well, I actually did" she laughed nervously "but not like… this… like… there" – WHAT IS GOING ON? – "Not that I'd be against it?" – Oh, god. Stop talking. – "Jokes. I mean. I'm just saying, I was just saying" – WHAT EVEN – "I was just trying to shake your hand?" Was this even a sentence?
This was a complete disaster. Clarke was 100% sure it couldn't get any worse than that so she just decided to stop talking altogether. The girl before her was motionless, she didn't even had a chance to speak thanks to Clarke's word vomiting. The blonde thought it was a lost cause until she heard Lexa's voice encouraging her, kind of "Can I help you?"
She couldn't tell if the girl was being polite, or if she was offended or anything. Her expression was stoic. She took a deep breath and tried again, more collected this time.
"I owe you an apology" she started "Well, more than one now, but" she picked her words with care, moderately.
"My name is Clarke, I just moved in with Raven" she explained nodding her head back to her apartment door "And I felt like I should make amends for my… behavior last night," Lexa's cheeks warmed a bit with the mention of the episode "you see, I was drunk-"
"I know." Lexa cuts her. Her cheeks still burning. One of her hands is still holding tight to the doorknob while the other is idly playing with the keys. Noticing the blonde girl is a bit disconcerted, she explains "You said so. Last night." she diverges her eyes to the keys in her hands "Amongst other things."
It's Clarke's turn to feel her cheeks burn even more so than before. She tries to respond to Lexa but doesn't really know what to say. Especially because the other girl still looks annoyed. Her suspicions are confirmed when Lexa finally speaks again.
"Now, if you'll excuse me…" Clarke comes back to her senses and takes two steps back so the girl can lock her apartment. She's not really sure why she's still standing there instead of, literally anywhere else, but she just can't help staring at her. Lexa walks away without so much as a goodbye leaving Clarke a little bummed out - maybe a lot. All the while, Lexa tries her hardest not to look back at Clarke – not this time.
Being quite disoriented, Clarke feels like returning to her apartment and drowning herself in guilt for screwing things up even more. But she can't, for the life of her, face Raven at this moment. Especially because she's pretty sure the girl just watched the whole scene through the peephole. So she waits a few seconds before going down the stairs, not wanting to risk any kind of encounter with the brunette. She's not really sure where she's going, she just goes.
"Focus. Just focus on your feet", Lexa told herself as she descended the stairs, forcibly looking down in an attempt to avoid looking back to the blonde. When she finally reached the sidewalk, the cool morning breeze was a soothing relief on her skin as her cheeks were still flaming with the embarrassment of yet another awkward encounter with her new neighbor.
"Clarke" she whispered to herself almost in slow motion, feeling her tongue curve inside her mouth. So that's her name. Lexa doesn't know why she's so worked up about the whole scene, it wasn't like she was the nonsensical one and she sure wasn't feeling sorry for that poor excuse of a neighbor. It was not fair, she thought, when she had just adjusted to Raven's shenanigans, to have another new neighbor apparently crazier than the one before. Why did the girl had to go after her? It was so much easier to pretend nothing had ever happened.
When she reached the corner she finally looked back, not being able to fight against it anymore. It wasn't like she was expecting the girl to be behind her or anything. It really wasn't. But being denied something always got to her nerves and made her want to do said thing even more – even when the restriction came from herself like right now. Reverse psychology sucked. It was like when Anya had told her that getting involved with Martial Arts was not a good idea for someone with such an explosive temperament like hers; surely enough, a week later she was registered in a Martial Arts school. She knew now that it had been Anya's plan all along, she had confessed her schemes a few years later when Lexa returned to their hometown for their dad's funeral.
Lexa never had a good relationship with him, she used to blame him for everything when she was little, especially after the episode with Costia's parents, so she left home as soon as she could. When she finished high school, she stayed around for just another year, working as much as she could and saving enough money to get her somewhere else. She knew now that despite their differences, he was trying to do his best to raise his two daughters by himself and it shouldn't have been easy. Lexa also admitted that she didn't make things any easier either, never giving the old man a chance to apologize. She had mourned this more than anything when he passed – not being able to make amends, all because she was too hard headed. It was the kind of thing that turned into a life lesson. And it was coming back at her at this exact moment.
"Clarke", she whispered again rolling her eyes. Sure, the girl was nowhere near of being as important as her deceased father, but she was trying to apologize, which was a very noble thing to do and not at all an easy one. She knew that. So maybe – she thought – maybe she could give the girl another chance.
Maybe.
It's almost sundown when Clarke decides to go back to the apartment. She regrets her day of shopping when she enters the building carrying five heavy bags and looks at the first of many flight of stairs. She hadn't stopped to think about it for even a second while shopping all the food items, books and art supplies she was now carrying. She's already tired of walking around the whole day so she practically drags herself up the stairs.
When she gets to the last step she's almost out of breath and she scolds herself again for being so sedentary. That's when she hears heavy and quick footsteps coming from downstairs and she knows, she just knows it's Lexa. She really, really doesn't want to deal with the girl anymore so she hurries to the door and starts to dig for her keys in her purse all the while fighting with the heavy bags – how she wished she had an extra pair of hands right now!
She was getting desperate by the second, the footsteps are getting closer and she's almost having a heart attack. She finally finds her keys but it feels like there's butter on her fingertips as she can't, for the life of her, fit the damn key in the keyhole. Ironically, she thinks that was this a different situation, having slippery substances on her fingers would actually facilitate the act of sliding something in a hole. "Oh my god, Clarke. Get your shit together, that's not the time for this kind of thought. What the fuck!"
She finally manages to unlock the door the exact second Lexa reaches their floor. She knows that rude neighbor of hers is just behind her, she can feel her burning gaze on her back, she's doing her best to avoid eye contact but her body betrays her and when she gets in the apartment she turns around to cast one quick glance at the brunette before closing the door. It was very brief, so she could be mistaken, but she swears Lexa was about to say something – her mouth hanging open and her green eyes fixed on her. With the door now closed she carelessly dropped the bags on the floor and wasted no time looking through the peephole to see what the girl would do next.
Lexa stood there staring at the door for a couple seconds and took a few steps towards her own apartment just to stop and turn back around to face Clarke's apartment. She took a tentative step towards it and stopped again thinking the whole thing through. No. She finally turned to her apartment, unlocked the door and went in. She couldn't help glancing back at the door across the hall before closing her own, wondering if Clarke had been peeking.
Behind the door, Clarke's heart was racing as much as the thoughts in her mind. What was Lexa thinking when she almost approached her door? Was she considering talking to her? What could she possibly have to say?
"What are you doing?", Raven inquired out of the blue, scaring the bejesus out of the blonde's pants.
"Jesus Christ, Raven!", she jumped back in shock, "You sly piece of shitake mushrooms!"
"Excuse you?"
"You scared the shit out of me!"
"Whoomp! There it is", she winked "For a moment there I thought you were trying to clean out the cuss words."
Clarke rolled her eyes with amusement and conceded a smile. She knew Raven wouldn't leave her alone until she explained what had just happened so she just got on with it. They sat at the couch for a long while. Clarke told her everything, from the early morning fiasco to the latest episode. Raven tried to be supportive of her friend and not laugh too much, but it was just impossible. The blonde was a bottomless well of clumsiness. "Hey, Clarke" she said to her friend "Gotta laugh to keep from crying, right?"
The girls spent the rest of the evening talking about less embarrassing matters and cooking dinner together. Of course Clarke was feeling a little bit off because of all the recent events, but she found that the affinity she had been sharing with Raven since the beginning was a much more significant and positive outcome of the past couple of days.
"Hey, blondie", Raven called out realizing Clarke had drifted off "you still here?"
"Sorry, I'm just really tired." she yawned into the cup of her hand leaning back on the couch where they had been talking for a while now, "I think I'm gonna go head to bed now".
"Big day tomorrow, huh?"
"Tell me about it!" Clarke acknowledged thinking about how would her first day at the office be.
"Alright, then. Go show that bed who's the boss!" Raven encouraged with a smirk. Clarke laughed and uncrossed her legs to get up.
"Hey, Raven" Clarke leaned in closer and took Raven's hands into her own "I think we're gonna be really fast friends."
Both girls fell into a fit of giggles until Raven dismissed Clarke with a friendly slap on the arm "You have yet to see me naked!" she yelled to the blonde who was already on her way to the bedroom.
Clarke had been rolling in bed for an hour now. Her mind filled with all the events of the past days and her stomach clenching with anxiety for the coming day. What will their colleagues be like? What was Lexa thinking that afternoon? Is her boss going to be nice? Would she be able to face her neighbor ever again? What should she have for lunch tomorrow? Why was she always so nervous around Lexa? Did Lexa ever smile? What must her smile be like? Would her eyes look greener when she smiled? How were her eyes so green?
Stop!
The blonde sits up in bed and decides to do something about her frantic state of mind. From her experience, there were just a couple of things that could efficiently lull her into sleep. Sleeping pills, that she only resorted to in the most extreme cases since she didn't like to self-medicate; and the most natural and pleasant one, orgasms. She considered her options for a while and got up from her bed walking straight to the door to lock it. She then walks over to her closet and carries her movements with caution not to make any noise. She stands on her toes and reaches for a box on the shelf. Feeling already aroused about it she opens the box and takes a lipstick sized vibrator from it.
She does like to get herself worked up and use her own fingers to do it, but sometimes, when she just wants her mind to go blank, she finds that a vibrator is more efficient. There was a time during college when she was suffering from a terrible case of insomnia and that's when she discovered the magic of the vibrators that would help her sleep nine out of ten times. Yes, she could say she was a big fan of alternative medicine.
Clarke goes back to bed, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath sliding the soft object down, between her legs. The quiet buzz of the vibrator resonates from her core all the way up to the walls of her mind, clearing all the worries away. Her free hand is wandering about the delicate patches of skin she knows very well. It starts with a soft but generous squeeze of her right breast, then the very edges of her fingertips brushing lightly against her side, her waist, her hip, her groin. She starts to ease into the thrill of the soft shocks hitting her sensitive core, the sensation spreading over her body like thousands of microscopic waves washing her, under her skin. Her body starts to slightly tremble, her left hand is gripping her thigh, her short fingernails sinking in her skin. On the spur of the moment, she's hit by a green flash behind her eyes. She increases the pressure on the vibrator. The green flash morphs into two deep orbs staring down at her. For a moment she thinks she can feel long, silky hair grazing her face. The green ocean floating above her deepens with every quiver of her body and she finally dives into it, rides its waves, swims in it.
"Fuck!", is the only thing she can shakily utter before letting herself sink.
Morning comes bringing a swirling sensation of enthusiasm and anxiousness. Clarke just finished brushing her teeth and gets ready to leave waving goodbye to her roommate with an excited grin.
"Have a good one!" Raven shouts from the kitchen, still finishing her coffee.
"You too!" Clarke beams from the door, proceeding to close it right after.
Her smile instantly falters, though, as she sees Lexa leaving her apartment at the same time. You have got to be kidding me, she thinks. She freezes in place. Her cheeks instantly blushing as the fantasies from her last night orgasm surface almost automatically. Lexa seems as surprised as the blonde for a second but manages to get going and actually breaks the silence.
"Good morning", her voice sounds detached but is hardly cold, she throws a reluctant half smile Clarke's way and goes on to the stairs. Meanwhile, Clarke tries to say something but nothing comes out. Before she has a chance to recover from her stupor and respond, Lexa is already gone.
When she finally recovers her movements, she locks her door and dashes down the stairs. She doesn't really know why she's trying to catch up with the other girl. Maybe to belatedly answer her good morning, because if she doesn't, the girl might think she's being rude on purpose when, in fact, she was just puzzled by her neighbor's unexpected cordiality. She makes it to the sidewalk in no time, but deflates almost instantly after looking in both directions to find not even a sign of long wavy hair. Her chest is heaving rapidly from the sprint and little puffs of breath come out of her mouth in the gelid morning air.
"Damn it!", she hisses with frustration and fatigue. There's nothing she can do now but to make her way to the office and bury herself in work blocking out all the thoughts flying around her head – including the indecent ones. Until she starts working, though, there's not much she can do to distract herself.
She heads to the bus stop and almost misses it for when she notices the vehicle coming, it is already too close to the bus stop and she hastily signals at the last moment, causing the bus to stop abruptly. Earning a stinky eye from the driver she gets on the bus and sits on the back. She quickly dives in the memories from that morning replaying each second in her mind. Why did she had to freeze so badly? Why did Lexa flee like that? And how had she been so fast? Damn. She hadn't taken that long to lock the door. Maybe Lexa was a wizard and had just disapparated.
She wondered if Lexa was also a fan of Harry Potter. She doubted it, though. She looked too serious to enjoy this kind of incredible literature. But then she had absolutely no idea what kinds of things the girl could enjoy. She was extremely difficult to read and completely unpredictable. She didn't display any hints towards the kind of person she was. Of course it was soon for Clarke to tell any of that, she hadn't had but a few of awkward encounters with her neighbor, she couldn't possibly know anything about her other than the fact that she was absolutely beautiful. Clarke was already past the stage of trying to deny that. Hell, that had been one of the first things she had said to the girl amid her drunken state honesty downpour.
It was no reason to get so nervous around her, though. Of course she felt abashed about the mortifying way she had met the girl, but that was water under the bridge now. She was a grown up, after all, she was more than capable of getting over that. And that's what she promised herself when the bus came to a halt making her realize that hers was the next stop. When she got off, she took a deep breath and walked the remaining half block to the stylish building where she would be working. Walking up the entrance ramp, she prides herself of her achievement and opens the door exhaling confidence. She introduces herself to the receptionist who accompanies her to a large room with glass walls where a man can be seen talking over the phone. When he sees them he motions for them to enter and hangs up the phone. The receptionist excuses herself and goes back to her post leaving Clarke behind.
"You must be Ms. Griffin." He says standing up from his chair and going around a big table to greet Clarke. He reaches out his hand and opens up a polite and warm smile, "I'm Marcus Kane and I'll be your supervisor here at COL's Architecture."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kane." Clarke replied shaking hands with the apparently kind man that would be her immediate boss.
"You will come to realize that we're a big family here, Ms. Griffin." He told her "So please, call me Marcus."
"In that case, Marcus, it is only fair that you call me Clarke as well."
"Very well, Clarke." The man conceded, leaving behind the introductory formality "Now, if you'll follow me, I'd like to introduce you to the rest of your team."
Clarke followed right after and got to a large room where four rectangular desks were placed right in the middle area, equipped with state of the art computers and graphic tablets. The walls were covered with framed prints of some of the most important buildings designed by the company. Two young men were getting settled in their respective working stations when Marcus walked in the room. At the sight of Clarke walking in right behind him, they got up from their seats and waited for their boss to introduce the girl they supposed was the new intern whom they had already been informed about previously.
"Clarke, meet your teammates" he started, pointing to both boys and then directing his eyes to one of them, "This is Monty Green. He is, coincidently enough, our Green Construction Analyst." The man joked. Monty approached and welcomed Clarke with a handshake. "And right beside him is Jasper Jordan. He's been with us for six months now, also as an intern."
Jasper waved from a distance showing more of a laid back attitude and greeting the girl with nothing but a "Hey!", Monty rolled his eyes to his colleague lack of courtesy but said nothing as their boss was standing right there.
"I count on you two to make Clarke feel welcomed and help her through any obstacle she might find." Marcus shifted his attention back to Clarke "Please let me know if these guys give you a hard time, Clarke. And welcome to the City of Light."
"Thank you, Mr. Kan-" Clarke started but corrected herself after getting a jokingly disapproving glance from her boss, "I mean, Marcus. Thank you, Marcus!"
The man excused himself and went back to his room. As soon as he left, Monty started telling Clarke about how the company worked and the tasks she would be responsible for on her first couple of months. Jasper didn't say much as he had recently gone through that training phase himself.
Clarke spent the rest of the day meeting the rest of the staff, the office and the materials available, besides learning about the current projects being carried and, and getting briefed on her own project. It was quite am easygoing day of work, with lots of information, of course, but Clarke was so excited to learn she took everything in more than willingly. The following days, however, were nothing like the first one. The pace of work increased with each passing day and the more she mastered her tasks, the more she realized how much she had yet to discover.
The minute Clarke stepped out of the office on Friday she felt the weight of the world being lifted from her shoulders. It was a mildly warm evening so she decided to walk home for a change and take the opportunity to lighten the built up tension from the week. It wasn't because she didn't like her new job, though – on the contrary – it was because she cared about it too much.
The routine at the office had become hectic from day two. She had never worked in such a fast pace before. But the thing that got to her the most was her own self-demanding character. She loves what she does and she can't express how thrilled she is to be part of such a talented team. So she feels the need to put all of her in it. To jump in with both feet. To seize each and every opportunity she has. She's always been like that.
When she was little, she used to watch soccer games on TV with her dad, so she started playing it at school. She would wake up at 4:30 a.m. just to be able to do a little cardio training before going to class. She would then go to practice every single day and practice by herself on the weekends when there wasn't a game. Needless to say she became the team's top scorer and captain. All of that, of course, while being the top student of her class, granting her a college scholarship.
Throughout all of her life, Clarke engaged in every endeavor with her body and soul – except when it came down to love. All along high school she would see the romantic couples walking hand-in-hand, exchanging caresses and love declarations while, for her, "love" was still a foreign concept. She used to feel – and still does – as if something great was being served behind her back and she was missing it. She didn't understand what all the lovey-dovey fuzz was about. Of course she went on dates, and she did have her flings and a couple long-ish term relationships, but she could never get to that point where you feel so strongly about someone, you couldn't picture your life without them. She never understood "forever".
She would say "I love you" with great effort and, sometimes, she tried so hard to convince herself that she was in love, that she actually managed to fool herself – but only until the day she'd wake up feeling like it was all gone. Again. She was always the one breaking up with people. Breaking people's hearts, even though it wasn't intentionally. She tried really hard, but she could never try for too long. The guilt of "deceiving" so many people's feelings started to weigh on her, because even if she didn't love them, she cared deeply for them. Well, she did love them, but not like that. So she started to question herself whether she was the kind of person who wasn't "fitted" for relationships. Like it was just who she was. Like she wasn't meant to find "true love". And what was that true love nonsense anyways? Just a concept created by Disney to make people feel like shit. Probably. So she started believing it. She stopped looking for relationships. "I don't do relationships" she would say "that's just not who I am."
She had been feeling content with that setup for quite a while now, but being away from her mom and closest friends, she was starting to miss a certain closeness to people. A certain level of intimacy that required time to develop. It wasn't really about sex, it was about touching and being touched. Having a touchy-feely roommate as Raven had sure helped a lot, but still there was something missing.
Walking home that evening caused these long forgotten thoughts to jump right to the front of her mind. So she thought maybe she should go on a no-boundaries girl's night out with Raven, hitting some clubs, being surrounded by people in every possible direction. Going to the meat market, she thought mischievously smiling to herself.
"It's been a long tiiime since before I've been tooouched. Now I'm getting touched aaall the ti-iiime." She started singing at the top of her lungs "And it's only a matter of whom, and it's ooonly a matter of when. An addiction to haaands and feet. There's a meat market down the street" she kept on without a care in the world, the energy in her already rising.
When she gets home it's almost 7 p.m. and Raven's not home yet. She puts her stuff away, washes her hand and ties her hair into a messy bun on the top pf her head – a rule every time she cooks, and she is cooking tonight. She decks her iPod to the speaker and selects the music she was previously singing from her Regina Spektor selection. She turns the volume all the way up and heads to the kitchen. She starts cooking and singing with complete abandon managing to sway her hips along to the music. She uses a spoon as a microphone, waves the dishcloth around and slides around the kitchen like she was a super star.
"Well, someone's excited!", Raven shouts behind her making the blonde to turn around in surprise. With the music so loud she didn't hear her roommate coming in. Raven drops her stuff on the couch and immediately drifts to the kitchen joining Clarke on the kitchen dancefloor.
"So," Raven starts speaking when Clarke bends down to get their dinner out of the oven, "guess who I just bumped into outside?"
Clarke's spine and head immediately shoot up and she looks at the kitchen clock. 8:07.
"Oh shit!" she mumbles hastily, placing the tray on the counter and racing to the iPod to turn the volume down.
When she returns to the kitchen, Raven is eyeing her in confusion "What the hell was that?"
"Hm?" Clarke played dumb and quickly dismissed the subject "Nothing. I hope you're hungry, dinner's ready, hot stuff" she winked.
"Don't you dare changing the subject, blondie!"
"What? I don't know what you're talking about. And, by the way, we're going out tonight!", she beamed to her friend betting on the TGIF-like distraction – but it didn't work.
"Clarke!" Raven said in a threatening tone.
"Fiiine! Okay. Fine." She gives in "I was just turning down the volume. That's all."
"Yes, I got that much, thanks" Raven deadpanned "The question is: What's with the hurry?"
"I just wanted to hear you better" she delivered nonchalantly.
"Clarke, don't lie to me. It isn't nice. And I'm not Red Fucking Riding Hood"
"You could be, though. You are just so innocent. And I'm sure you have some red attir-"
"Clarke!"
"Fine! Oh my god, woman!"
Raven didn't say anything, she just eyed the blonde waiting for an explanation. Clarke huffed out in surrender and started mumbling inaudibly, "Iturnedthe-"
"Louder, Clarke!"
"Ugh! I turned the volume down so Lexa wouldn't be bothered!", she confessed.
"Hah! I knew it!" Raven announced with a smug look on her face.
"What do you mean you knew it?" Clarke felt kind of offended with the statement. She wasn't that obvious. Was she?
"I knew it. I just knew it."
"Then why did you make me say it?"
"You know why."
"Oh, do I?"
"Oh, you do."
"Raven, please, cut me some slack, I cooked dinner." She pleaded to her roommate. Raven stared at her for a while analyzing the situation.
"Okay," said the brunette "I find it amusing to see you stutter over Lexa trying to deny you have a thing for her."
"I do not have a thing for her!", she protested.
"Then why were you so desperate to turn the volume down just for her sake?", Raven challenged.
"Because" the blonde started casually "It's the polite thing to do. You know, neighborly speaking."
Raven kept an amused look expecting her roommate to say something else, but she didn't.
"Very well," Raven accepted easily, leading Clarke to believe she had gotten away with it. But the blonde didn't expect the following "but why did you do you just now? Why didn't you turn the volume down before?"
"Because you told me you saw her outside" she started, sure she would get away with any further explanations "Which means she was probably getting home now."
"Except she was leaving" Raven attempted.
"That doesn't make any sense, Raven. She gets home at 8:00 every-"
"I knew it!" Raven blurted out once again causing Clarke to look like a deer caught in the headlights, "Clarke Griffin! You, miss, are a stalker!" Raven accused between chuckles.
"I am not!" Clarke couldn't see a way out of this one so she decided to just tell her the truth, "I just noticed it this week because I could hear her shuffling out in the hall every evening, so… You know, I just got used to it. That's all." That wasn't all. But it was honest enough, she thought. Raven didn't need to know that she would peak through the peephole every day, watching their neighbor get home only to watch her disappear behind the door a few seconds later. Since the brunette's "good morning" on Monday, they hadn't crossed paths anymore and Clarke thought that staging a casual encounter by going outside around 8:00 was a little too much. Even for her. She wasn't a stalker after all.
Raven was apparently satisfied with the explanation and decided to reward her friend's honesty by not pushing into the matter more than she had already.
"Fine," she delivered "So, tell me again about us going out tonight."
Clarke let out a sigh of relief and told Raven about her plan of hitting some clubs and letting her wild side take place. Being the party animal she was, Raven didn't think twice before agreeing. They had their great home cooked dinner and talked about their day for a while before getting ready to hit the streets. Clarke went to the shower first while Raven put the dishes away and took some time to really care about her body. She wanted to feel good tonight. She wanted to feel pretty, confident and irresistible.
After a few minutes soaking in the bathtub, she went back to her bedroom to get changed while Raven took her turn in the shower. She started by, basically, taking a second shower, but using her Açai scented body oil instead of water. The deeply hydrating oil left her with a silky-smooth skin and a modest but eye-catching glow, not to mention the light but intoxicating tropical scent.
She applied a reasonable amount of hair moisturizer to her golden threads and proceeded to get her hair dry with a diffuser, turning her already natural waves into tsunami-shaped strands.
Her makeup was simple but striking – her lower-lid liner had a smoky effect and her eyelashes were covered by a lash-lengthening mascara that made her blue eyes stand out more than ever.
To top all of that, she chose a light grey dress covered in a glimmering lace. There was no cleavage and her shoulders were covered by a short and classy sleeve making the top half of the dress seem very respectable. The bottom half, however, was almost inexistent, leaving her beautiful toned legs exposed all the way up to her thighs. To complete the look, a pair of grey, velvety-soft suede, cut out heels with lace up closure.
She was stunning.
When she got back to the living room, Raven was already waiting for her with Jägerbombs on the kitchen counter ready to be downed. When Raven set eyes on her roommate, she couldn't contain the jaw dropping.
"Wow! Clarke" she dragged her words "You weren't kidding when you said you wanted to go wild. I mean… Wow!"
Clarke was aware of how beautiful she looked right now, she had put extra effort into it after all, but her roommate's comment still made her blush. Her exterior impacted her interior, though, so she was feeling quite powerful and not at all modest.
"If you've got it, flaunt it, right?" she winked to her friend as she strolled in her direction already eyeing the drinks, "I like what I see here too!"
The girls laughed and wasted no time downing the first shot. While Raven prepared them another Jägerbomb, she casually suggested to her friend "You should go out there and invite Lexa to join us."
"What?" Clarke was startled by the suggestion and actually thought was a joke.
"You heard me, Clarke."
"You cannot possibly be serious."
"Except I am."
"She would never accept and you know it."
"Except I don't know it" Raven smartly retorted "And neither do you."
"Raven, she complained about loud music on a Saturday. What makes you think she's the kind of person that likes to party?"
"She could have good reasons to change her mind about that" Raven insinuated with a hardly subtle smirk on her face,
"Don't be silly" Clarke dismissed, but actually starting to consider the idea.
"I'm serious, though. I think it would be nice. Maybe the reason why she doesn't party is because no one ever invites her" she conjectured. It wasn't an absurd idea, but Clarke still had her doubts about it.
"Why don't you go?"
"Are you scared of her?"
"Of course not!" Clarke answered way too quickly, not really certain if the answer was sincere.
"Then go."
Clarke turned around to the door, took her own sight in and felt a sudden wave of courage invade her "Ok."
The stunning blonde unlocked the door, crossed its threshold and left it opened behind her, crossing the hall to knock on Lexa's door. She was confident this time, and she knew what she was doing, so nothing could possibly go wrong. She knocked.
Looking down to her hands and playing with a blue ring, she waited for a few seconds until Lexa jerked the door open. She was wearing a loose, white see-through tank top tucked inside tight black denim and a black lace bra underneath it. Her hair was tied into a bun with half of the strands loose and, if that wasn't enough, she was wearing thick-rimmed reading glasses. It was very simple, and yet the girl looked beautiful. Adorable, really.
Lexa, however, felt a little short of breath with the sight before her. She tried not to stare but the hungry look on her face was really hard to disguise, and maybe not even herself was aware of it.
"Hi", Clarke finally said after a couple of seconds that felt longer than they actually were under the gaze of burning green eyes. She was impressively calm considering their previous encounters and had a warm and welcoming smile on her face.
"I'm Clarke", she repeated her previously failed introduction and, carefully, reached out her hand for Lexa to take. No shaming accidents this time.
"Hi, Clarke", Lexa timidly took the blonde's hand without really shaking it and allowed her neighbor some openness "I'm Lexa."
"I know," Clarke said without really thinking "I mean, it's nice to meet you", she paused for a while considering her words "Properly, I mean. It's nice to finally meet you properly."
Lexa was still very serious, but a closer look would reveal a slight uprise on the corner of her lips. It was almost imperceptible, but not for Clarke. Lexa looked down to her hands with some slight discomfort causing Clarke to realize they were still holding into unshaken hands.
"So," she said retracting her hands back. She didn't know if it was from her hands or the brunette's but they were a bit clammier than before, "Right. So, Raven and I are heading out tonight. To drink. And dance. And… you know, have some fun."
"Okay?" Lexa encouraged her to continue already imagining where this was going to.
"And we were wondering if, maybe, you'd like to join us."
"Oh." She said in surprise. For a moment, Lexa thought they would ask for some favor or ice, or something like that. But an invitation wasn't really expected.
"So," Clarke urged "Would you?"
"Oh. Right." Lexa didn't really have a ready answer for that, so she just went with the truth, "Well, I appreciate the offer, Clarke. But I can't."
"Oh?" It wasn't like Clarke was surprised, but she didn't expect to sound – or feel – so disappointed.
"I have to wake up really early tomorrow, so…" the brunette was shifting in place now, as if trying to contain something inside her as well as containing her own shifting stance. Her free hand reached behind her neck, pressing on it as if it was sore, her head bending to the side, and she attempted a half-hearted smile that didn't really reach her eyes.
"Well," Clarke sighed "Maybe next time?"
"Maybe."
Clarke smiled at the brunette and walked back to her apartment. She looked back surprised to find Lexa still standing there, looking at her. Clarke lingered by her apartment door for an extra second staring back at Lexa before finally closing it. She was in such a state she even forgot Raven was in the room. A foolish smile still playing on her lips. She doesn't even know why she's feeling that way, she just got another 'no'.
"Judging by the look on your face," Raven started bringing the blonde back to reality, "I'm gonna guess she said yes and then asked you to marry her."
Clarke beamed an idiotic smile to her friend and walked towards the kitchen counter once again, where their drinks awaited.
"Idiot", she said taking one of the glasses into her hands, "She's not coming."
"What's with that smug look on your face, then?" she reacted perplex.
"I'm just glad we're going out. Now will you join me in the shots or are you just going to keep talking?" Clarke incited her friend raising her own glass and passing another one to Raven.
"Well, someone's ready to party!"
"Damn right I am!" she beamed "Cheers!"
"Cheers!" they clinked their glasses and got ready to go. This was going to be a long night.
AN: Whoomp! Here it is. That's the end of this chapter. Thanks again for reading it! If you have any suggestions please let me know :)
And to anyone who didn't get it "Dixie Chicks serious", "Whoomp, there it is" and "Really fast friends" are references from the "Pitch Perfect" movie. If you haven't watched it already I strongly recommend it.
Oh, and the song Clarke was singing was "Dance Anthem of the 80's" by Regina Spektor. It's an awesome song, go listen to it :D