Road Trip of Legends
Disclaimer: We don't own shit
Chapter 2: On The Road
Jeffrey pulls the string from a party popper he kept handy in his back pocket. "Woohoo , give it up for our special vacation winners, now get back to fucking work everyone." Beyond all the clapping, summoner Paul was pacing back and forth when he caught a whiff of marijuana smoke from the center of the room. Paul was the strict rule enforcer of the summoners and seeked every opportunity he could to yell at someone. He began to speak up "WHO THE FUCK IS SMOKING BACK THERE?" The entire room froze solid in response, oh how he loved his job. The crowd of Champions surrounding the rising pillar of smoke slowly cleared away revealing Graves lying in his chair, baked out of his mind. He was wearing a soda drink helmet but with two enormous blunts in place of the cup holder slots. "Jeez, that can't be healthy," said Janna, hoping to start up small talk with the others. Riven nodded, "He won it in a high stakes game of Yahtzee with Viktor." Ekko eyed the hat with envy, "Wow, I gotta get me one of those." In which Riven replied, "I mean you could just steal it..."
"Hey Malcolm!" Paul hollered. By now Graves could only manage a snort of smoke as his response. Paul whipped out his megaphone and a glock and yelled, "Only you can prevent forest fires!" before shooting Graves in the dick. He howled and fell to the floor, clutching his precious tenders. That man has no dick now. Seeing Graves unable to defend himself Ekko took the chance and made a dash for the helmet. After acquiring his prize he ulted back to his seat clutching his new helmet affectionately. After that odd encounter, Paul turned back around to explain to the vacation winners the details of their destination. "You will all be going to be to five locations, but I ain't telling you jack shit. Your driver knows all the stops."
Janna piped up by saying, "What should we pack if we don't even know where we're going?"
"I don't fucking know just take your basic white bitch necessities," Jeffrey countered.
And with that, the group split up, going their separate ways.
Kalista slipped through the crowds, managing to swiftly get back home. She quickly looked around her dark apartment thinking of all the things she needed. With a backpack in hand, she hopped around quickly gathering her things, making sure to bring her spears, drugs, and clothes. With her bag packed, she spotted her computer in the corner. Seeing it was still on she went over to turn it off. 'But first, I better delete my history,' she thought seeing as there was a 20 page search history all being yaoi hentai. With that out of the way she headed out the door with her backpack in tote.
Zed shadowed back to his home, not wanting to deal with the horde of people in the halls. Seeing that Syndra hadn't gotten back he then proceeded to get ready for his big trip. Zed made sure to grab his favorite blades just incase, seeing as he had no clue where the fuck they would be going. After awhile of packing other basic necessities, he heard Syndra enter the room.
"What the fuck, Zed!" She screamed.
"Why do you get to go and not me! I'm going to complain to the institute about this", she continued.
Zed attempted to settle the dispute, "Syndra please calm down. It's not like I'm leaving for a year."
"You don't know that, for all we know you aren't coming back at all. I bet you'd just find some other bitch and forget all about me."
After saying this Syndra broke down crying. Wondering what the fuck, Zed went over to comfort his extremely insecure girlfriend.
"Now why would you think that? You are probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Without you I would have been corrupted by the shadows." Zed stated.
He looked up at the clock and saw that he should probably hurry the fuck up and deal with this some other time. "I'll see you in maybe a month, I honestly have no clue when. I wish I could stay." He said. "I love you."
"Love you too", Syndra replied through her tears.
As he left, he decided to leave his mask behind. On his way to the cafeteria, he spotted Kalista just ahead, going the same direction he was. He looked down at her bright blue ass and thought, 'I'd love to fuck the shit out of that. Maybe being away from Syndra for a bit won't be so bad."
Ekko took Riven's hand and activated his Z-Drive to take them back instantly. "Grab the Capri Suns!" Ekko ordered. Riven responded with a nod before getting the largest suitcase she could find. She filled the suitcase with about 300 Capri Suns before zipping it up. With the juice secured the two moved on to packing other less important items. With Ekko constantly rewinding it only took him about three seconds to pack, which left plenty of time for him to annoy Riven while she tried to get her things together.
"Yo, look at dude, trying to fold her clothes all nice."
"Could you please leave me the fuck alone?" Riven pleaded.
"No, you get to enjoy my presence for at least another five minutes."
"Oh yeah? I didn't know you could last that long." Riven joked.
Caught off guard by the surprise roast, Ekko fell out of his chair and onto the floor. When he landed spaghetti flew out of his pockets. As Ekko noticed this he started tearing up. This was the weakest that Riven had ever seen Ekko. She chose to ignore him as he attempted to pile the spaghetti back in. As Riven finished getting her things together she looked to Ekko, who still had spaghetti all over the floor, and said, "Why don't we get going already." With that Ekko grabbed his spider man backpack and started to leave until he noticed Riven was struggling with the suitcase full of Capri Suns. When she was trying to get it through the door the bag unzipped a little and started to tip over. Ekko quickly phase dived over to save his delicious himself in between the suitcase and the doorway he shouted to Riven "Quick zip it up!" Without another word Riven hopped to the unzipped side and secured the fallen Capri Suns back into the suitcase. With that out of the way they had one problem left. Ekko was stuck. "Just cut my arm off like that one dude did in the movie," Ekko suggested.
"I doubt that would work," Riven said.
"Don't worry I'll just rewind time so I get my arm back."
"How does your machine even work?" Riven questioned.
"Don't worry about it. Now cut my arm off."
Riven took out her sword and slashed downward, cleanly severing his arm. Ekko screamed out in pain as blood sprayed everywhere. Riven dragged the suitcase out of the doorway, trying best not to pay attention to her roommate who was bleeding out on the floor.
"Wait, why haven't you ulted yet?" She asked.
"Oh yeah."
And with that Ekko Chrono Broke and suddenly he was as good as new.
"What the fuck, Ekko." Riven stated angrily.
"What?"
"Nothing, let's just go. The others are probably waiting for us by now."
Janna arrived to her apartment and instantly got to work, grabbing anything and everything that she thought she would need. She dumped all of her shit into her oversized coach purse. With that out of the way she wanted to grab a few more things before she left. She grabbed her staff, extra clothes, and a glock, for when she didn't like the way some nigga was looking at her. She saw that she had plenty of time left before she was to leave, so she decided to go to her favorite place; Starbucks. When she made it to the Starbucks she was blocked by a very nice African-American women being a valuable member of society.
"Pardon me, miss," Janna piped up, trying to get inside.
"Did you just call me a nigga?" Karma replied.
"No, please I'm just saying I would like to pass."
"If you say that one more time I swear on my mama, my grandmama, I swear to god I'm gonna beat your ass!"
Karma proceeds to stuff her starbucks coupons in her purse, food stamps are spilling out in every direction. Karma begins the roasting process, first the shoes. Janna starts put her hand around her glock, ready for action.
"Roast me one more time," Janna states.
Karmas voodoo magic senses the danger of her people, the infamous glock. She isn't going to be on channel 5 today. She bolts out of the store screaming
"Gaen Na Kyri Vi!" Suddenly running faster than Usain Bolt.
With that out of the way, Janna walked up to the counter to order, "Gimme the iced mocha extra ice. Actually just give me a cup of ice. Ya know, I just want a snow cone."
The man working the counter stared blankly at her. "Can you order from the menu please?"
And with that, Janna turned around and said, "Nigga, fuck you", and and left the building, heading to the cafeteria.
In the distance you could hear Karma say, "Did she just say nigga?"
Gangplank rushed to his headquarters to pack all his things. A refreshing vacation is just what the captain needed. Then again, as he gazed across all the weaponry he planned to bring along, he realized this trip could be his chance to sail his ship and plunder some ass once more. He was getting steamy at the thought of some adventure. He began pouring loads of useful weapons and ammo into barrels and filling them to the brim. Deciding to reward himself for his hard work, Gangplank reached for his handy orange dispenser to fill his pockets as he headed for the bar in his spare time.
As Gangplank enters the establishment he's greeted with an all too familiar sight. Nunu's yeti was destroying Olaf in yet another beer chugging contest, and one of the two bartenders were passed out. Twitch was hoarding drinks behind the counter even though he's too drunk to stay invisible.
"Hey there Gangplank!" Skarner hollered as he edged near to him. Skarner tries to drag a stool over to Gangplank but ends up ulting it. "Err umm, have a seat anyway man, enjoy some of the punch I spiked while you're at it. But you didn't hear that from me alright?" Ignoring the crab fuck, Gangplank navigated the bar and took an empty seat next to Jax, who was in his usual wifebeater, downing shot glasses like a beast. Gangplank stroked his scruffy beard, thinking briefly about his order. "I'll have today's special I guess," He ordered. Nami heard him and quickly rushed over to set down a shot glass. "That's all?" the pirate shouted. He quickly swished down the shot and tossed the glass to the side. "Gimme somethin hard!" He demanded. "I'll have the most expensive beverage you carry lads!" Hearing this, Gragas instantly snapped out of his coma, rushing over to the stand "I'll take over from here Nami, I know just what the man needs!" Gragas dragged out a mug from the back and filled it with his world famous brew. "That'll be 60 serpents there pirate." Gangplank sets down the money and grabs the mug and chugs down half his drink. "Ehh it wasn't too bad, coulda used more citrus Graggy." Gragas turns around in a full 360 degree circumference and says, "What the fuck did you say about my drink?" Gangplank looks at his watch and thinks, 'Ohh shit I don't have time to square up right now.' He took out his gun out and shot Gragas in the stomach. He then got up out of his seat and left for the cafeteria.
The second Gangplank arrived Jeffrey jumped out of the shadows yelling, "HEY IT'S MEEEEE!" Ekko completely lost his shit to this spooking, and accidentally struck Jeffrey with his bat, killing him instantly. Paul, seeing his buddy on the ground with his head smashed in looked at the group and said into his walkie, "SECURITY!" Hearing this the entire group ran. They rushed the van, seeing that their driver was waiting inside. He opened up the doors saying, "H-hey guys, I'll be your driver for this vacati-". Mid sentence, Gangplank drew his pistol and shot the man in the leg, before proceeding to drag the poor man out of the van and dumping him on the side of the road. "The only driver here is me, and if you have a problem with that you can join him." He said. Everyone stuffed their shit in the van and got in, not wanting to anger the pirate. Kalista sat in the back of the van trying to avoid human contact as much as possible, but Zed, aiming for that booty, went to sit down next to her. As Zed took his seat she noticed the scent of his old spice cologne, causing her to blush up instantly. "How ya doin," he simply asked. Only furthering her blush. "What's wrong? You don't have to act shy around me." He said, giving her a gentle smile. With everyone seated Gangplank floored it, escaping the borders of the institute. After about 10 minutes of silent driving, Janna finally asked the question that everyone else was wondering.
"Um, where are we going?"
Gangplank responded, "We are going on a vacation. I know a guy that owns a campground."
"And where is that exactly?"
"That my friends, is a secret." Gangplank grinned.
Janna rolled her eyes before putting on her earphones to block the rest of the group out. Zed and Kalista talked quietly in the back in a mostly one sided conversation. Riven had the job of keeping Ekko busy by playing I spy. Gangplank continued staring at the road ahead, slightly worrying about how his friend would respond to his sudden arrival.
Author's notes: We are very sorry for taking so long to upload this chapter and we will try to upload more consistently in the future. As an apology I drew this pic for you guys :) just check our my deviantart "happypan"