When will I ever be free?

Chapter Two- Lanie POV

Tears dripped down my face in plentiful amounts as I stared at the letter in my hand. And at his neat, elegant handwriting.

Dear Lanie,

It upsets me to think about the circumstances that bring you to read this, my daughter. It also saddens me to know that the reason you are reading this now, and that means that I have left you.

I am sorry.

I know that I have no time to explain to you, so I decided to write a letter. It comforts me to know that my advice, or, in your words, ' an old man's wise words', is forever on paper for you to look at.

First of all, most importantly, I love you. I will always be with you, whether or not you think I am gone.

Second of all, there is something that I want you to have, something that had been kept at close guard within our family for years and years. It dates back to the time of Katniss Everdeen and the Rebellion.

But before that, I must reveal to you the importance of our lineage. You have always been curious. What made you more curious were the replies to your question. "Why later? Why not now?" you always would ask.

The answer to your question lies in the key. Show it to Teah along with this letter, and she will know what to do.

Lastly, the present. As well as my silver key, I want you to keep another one of my most closely guarded possessions. When you find out your lineage, ask her for your inheritance. She will give it to you.

Once again, I love you. More than words can say.

From your father.

When I noticed that my tears had fallen on his letter, I carefully dried them and folded the paper. I placed it in my pocket.

I stood up with a sigh. My father knew me so well. Well enough to leave me with something that gave me reason to live. He'd not only given me something to do, he'd given me a mystery that I had no choice but to answer.

I left my pack at the moss-covered rock that I had been sitting on. I knelt on the mud that surrounded the lake and drank, cupping the water in my hands and sipping. I shivered as the water, cool even in the slight warmth of the day, slid down my throat.

I coughed. For three seconds, I stayed in that position, then I shook my head as it had threatened to relive the memories. During that three seconds, the water became still, and it was a major mistake for me to look into the water and see my reflection.

I smashed my fist into the water, sending droplets everywhere. In my ear, the earpiece crackled as Teah breathed nervously into the microphone.

"Lanie, are you okay?"

"Perfectly fine. I'm super." The sarcasm was slightly marred as the words were spat through my gritted teeth.

Teah was more overprotective than N- him. Wouldn't let me go anywhere without the earpiece. She stayed in the hovercraft that was always two seconds away just in case I needed help. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could help my situation.

I was supposed to be dead. They rescued me, whisked me away while I was still alive. They operated on me, changing my genes so my appearance was altered. No one could recognise me. I pretended to be someone else. I couldn't go near anyone that could possibly find out who I was, like Julia, or Peyton…

Or Nyal.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my pack and set out to hunt.

Bad enough that I spent most of my day and night in district thirteen. Years ago, people in district thirteen dispersed, spread to other districts as thirteen was shut down. But when the Hunger Games was brought back to life, several families fled to district thirteen, keen to not let their children be slaughtered on live television. They became part of the secret society. There were the Forbidden Children, and there were the Forbidden Society. Simple enough.

Only a couple dozen people lived in district thirteen, though. Most of them were Forbidden Children that had gone into hiding and had grown up. Others were part of the society but undercover in the outside world. A couple dozen people, if you didn't count the others.

Rica, it seemed, was a member. Rica introduced Teah to the society. Now I was part of it too. Even though I didn't want to be.

It wasn't like I had much of a choice.

I searched the ground. Finding a pebble the size of my thumb, I launched it at a tree. I'd spotted bird nests there earlier. As expected, several birds, grooslings, fluttered out of the leaves in a panic. Only four made it out. The other three fell to the ground with my arrow in them.

I placed them in my pack, next to the two squirrels, five fish, bag of greens and small sack of fruits. Even though district thirteen had fortnightly packages delivered to them for their needs, I had the urge to hunt. But not in district thirteen. It was too easy, with all the unknowing animals. I wanted district twelve.

So here I was, hunting in the woods. On the other side of the fence. Only a thousand feet away from my home but still unable to go.

Something rustled over to my left. I nocked an arrow and aimed it in that direction. I caught a fleeting glimpse of brown fur and big brown eyes.

"Doe," I breathed.

I found another pebble and sent it through the bushes. It took off, rocketing through the forest. I ran after it, leaping over tree roots and ducking under branches.

It paused suddenly, cocking its head for any noises. I hid behind a tree, trying to keep my fast breathing to a quiet whisper. Luckily the wind was going in the right direction.

Peeking from behind the tree, I aimed my arrow for its eye. Taking a deep breath, I pulled back the string. The doe unwarily wandered over to a bush, taking its time.

Perfect.

I had just began to release the string, when a scream rent the air in two.

The doe darted off into the woods, my arrow missing its target and burying itself in the doe's flank. I whirled around, forgetting about my escaped prey.

Why… why did that scream sound so familiar? Heart hammering, I stepped toward the direction of the noise.

The scream hadn't been one of fear, but one of pain. I knew it. How many times had I screamed like that since I'd woken up changed and different?

On the other end, it was quiet as Teah held her breath.

I stumbled as my brain gave contradicting messages to parts of my body. I became successful in taking two steps forward.

"Lanie, stay right there. Don't move, we're coming to get you."

"No, I'm fine."

"You have no idea who that might have been. It's too dangerous to go exploring. Stay right there, do you hear me?"

I wrenched the earpiece out of my ear and tossed it to the ground. No Teah, I can't hear you.

And what did she mean by exploring? I was at home. I knew every inch of the forest.

But knowledge didn't seem enough for me, as the clearing was empty when I reached it.

There were signs of damage, broken branches, scattered leaves and messed up gouges in the ground from footsteps. All human, I could tell. No animals had contributed to this.

The birds were quiet, and then the leaves started to flutter in one crazy seizure-like dance. There was a loud humming. The humming of a hovercraft.

No! I wasn't ready to go yet!

I ran out of the clearing faster than if I was being chased by a mutt. I leapt over tree roots and bushes with extreme speed, headed for where I knew the fence would be. I could sense Teah's frustration, and that spurred me on.

I searched the sky while I ran, looking for signs of the hovercraft.

This resulted in me almost smashing into the fence.

I managed to put on the brakes, and when I was sure that there was no hum of electricity, I climbed through the wires.

What was I doing here? Was I stupid? District twelve was a small town, no one here would recognise me. That would result in questions. In gossip. I knew my district well enough that a stranger's appearance would be red-hot news with the pregnant mothers of the town.

Nothing had changed much. The bakery had changed the cake displays, but Ingo and his wife, Andrea still manned the desk. Same with Hig, who was chopping away in his shop. I tried to not linger too much on the specks of blood on his apron. I didn't want a repeat of the arena.

The nightmares were enough.

I shuddered. I walked on, squaring my shoulders. I was interested to see how my town went about without me, not like I had much of a difference anyway, seeming that I was a forbidden child and wasn't supposed to exist.

But everything was the same, and it saddened me. Death caused people pain, but they still live on, and death wouldn't do anything to stop them. Dad was right. How could my death benefit them?

The only thing that was different… were the abandoned houses. My small house was quiet. When I had entered it in the dead of night, looking inside the loose floorboard like I had in my dream months ago, I could tell that Thomas had avoided it. Dust covered every surface.

His house stood still, and was empty. Just staring at it made me feel empty as well.

Another silent house was my brother's. He and Sarah had moved into his house in the Victory Village along with Julia. Peyton lived in the Village too, as well as Zavier. Noah was in district eleven's Victor's Village.

It occurred to me, as I clutched my silver key and remembering the moment my father had given it, that I had never visited his grave. I knew that Teah would be waiting to give me hell for my betrayal, so I decided to make most of my time and do whatever I felt like doing.

I headed over to the Meadow where my father was buried, ignoring the stares of my people. I walked as casually as I could, but I knew they were questioning my unrecognisable face and heavy pack.

The grass of the Meadow was soft under my boots, and flowers already grew on my father's grave. Next to them, was turned earth, with only small shoots of grass. A couple of months old. With a jolt, I realised that it was my grave.

Beside that, there were more graves. I knew whose they were. I didn't need to read the cursive letters on the stones. But I couldn't help it.

Tammin Windsor, Kinley Jicks, Hilton Bayner, Vena Kayell, Gill Toporthy.

My feet took me toward the graves, and I fell onto my knees. Along with the flowers that grew naturally, there were four red roses. On my grave, and on my father's. They didn't have much of a wilt to them, so I knew that they were recent, and two people had placed them. I could also tell that people came by often, as the seven graves were missing weeds or signs of neglect.

"Hi, Dad," I whispered. "Hey guys."

It was so silent. So eerie. But peacefully so.

"I'm still alive. Which is a miracle…" I closed my eyes and sat down comfortably, crossing my legs. "Who am I, Dad? I was hoping that the arena wouldn't change me, but I'm afraid that it did. Now, I'll never know for sure. I even look different."

It was all slipping out, everything that I'd kept inside.

"I wish you could've just told me who my ancestors were. What did you want me to have? I'm so confused. Where do I go from here? Should I go show Teah the key?

"I wonder how Conner and Cassie are. As well as Mum. Thomas and Sarah are fine, probably, they live in the Victor's Village, now. Are they the ones who've been putting the flowers?"

I absent-mindedly picked up several flowers from around me and began to braid the stems together.

"Everyone's staring, Dad. They don't know me. I wish I looked like myself. Not like this. I look like Katniss, Dad, Katniss Everdeen. I know that it's for my safety, but when the time comes for me to reveal to my friends that it really is me, will they believe me?"

I placed the wreath of flowers on top of his grave. Then I turned towards the graves of my friends.

"I'm so sorry." I placed a gentle hand on the bed of grass of Vena's grave. "I wish I could've done more to save you all. I'll take care of Peyton, Zavier, Noah and N-Nyal," I promised.

"I'll make sure that you will all be remembered. Along with the other tributes. I'll never forget the things you did for me. I hope that you are all happy, wherever you are."

Once again, I looked back to my father's tombstone, knowing that another goodbye was near.

"I need your help, Dad. I need your help. I wish you were here. I love you so much. I wish you were still alive to tell me what to do. To tell me 'old man's wise words'."

A smile split my face.

"I have to go, Dad. I'll see you soon. I promise." I planned to make one last stop at Hig's house to drop off a groosling- anonymously, of course.

I stood up, brushing the dirt off my pants. I shouldered my pack and turned around, setting off to the woods. Teah was probably thinking of keeping me under lock and key for a month or two, but I was thinking of escaping that.

I'd been caged in too long already.

Please R&R. Holiday time again, so I'll be able to update more. :)