Nothing about the next morning feels right. The sun is warm and shining too early, even though it's already October at this point and it should really be getting colder like it was yesterday. The smell of breakfast fills the air, and I almost believe that it's Mom cooking before remembering why that can't be. My stomach is still clenched, and I know right away that I'm not going to be able to eat anything.

Aunt Erika and Uncle Hatori are in the kitchen, Aunt Erika staring into a cup of tea while Uncle Hatori cooks up a couple of omelets using the eggs and veggies that need to be used from the fridge. They both look like they didn't sleep a wink. I know that feeling well, now, since the most consistent sleep I had was only four hours long.

None of us speak for a long time. We move like zombies, slowly and without much accuracy. My eyes burn when I blink, thanks to crying so much. Now, though, I'm not sure if I could cry, even if I want to. I grab a glass of water, staying out of Uncle Hatori's way, and retreat to my room again.

For the first time since yesterday afternoon, I turn my phone on. As it turns out, Hikari left fifty-odd texts and about ten voicemails, all of them stopping abruptly around six in the evening. Tadaaki left around the same amount, but his stopped earlier. Their parents likely told them to give me some space if I wasn't answering, but now I really have to.

I dial Hikari's number without a second thought. I'm not even sure if I can use my voice right now, but just hearing Hikari talk is all I need.

Hikari picks up before the first ring ends. "Mei, what's going on? My moms have been crying since I woke up and they won't tell me anything. Are you okay?" She sounds frantic, nearing hyperventilation. I understand the feeling.

"I…" I'm right; my throat is dry and feels like sandpaper. I take a sip of water, but it barely seems to help. All the words I can say fail me in the moment. Even if I don't say anything, Hikari's parents will tell her eventually.

"Talk to me, Mei."

The one thing I'm asked to do, I can't. I would hang up, but I need to hear Hikari talk more. With another swallow, feeling the tightness of my throat, I try again. "My mom."

"Your-" Hikari cuts herself off, and the line goes quiet for a moment. "Oh. Oh, no, Mei…" She trails off, and I can hear her start to cry as well. Hikari loved Mom so much, but I didn't tell her how Mom had gotten worse in the last week. She didn't need that on her mind. Still doesn't. "I'm so sorry. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Not now." I assume that it was Dad who let Hikari's moms know last night. They all went to high school together, with Tadaaki's parents as well, so it's not a far-off theory. Just thinking about letting people know that Mom is dead makes everything so much more real.

In the background, I hear the door open and Aunt Erika and Uncle Hatori talk to someone. I can't think of anyone it could be other than my dads. "I have to go. My dads are here."

Hikari swallows hard enough that I can hear it over the phone. "Okay. Call me later?"

"I'll try." I hang up, tossing my phone face-down on my bed. I can't promise myself that I'll be able to look at my dads and not cry immediately, but I can try. No matter what, I have to try.

Carefully, I open my door, poking my head out. I have a clear view of the kitchen from there, but none of the adults notice me. They're too busy talking low enough that I can't hear. There's so much going on, though; I feel like I won't be able to concentrate if I try.

The small shrine we have in the living room is closed, covered with white paper. The last time this happened was when my grandparents died, though I can barely remember that; I was only six then. Aunt Erika and Uncle Hatori probably already put the small table with flowers and a candle next to Mom's bed. I don't dare look.

I step out of my room for the second time today, still as quiet as possible. Kokichi notices me first; he's taking the least part in the conversation. He slips out from the small circle they're in and approaches me. "Did you get enough sleep?"

"I guess." My eyes focus on the closed shrine, a fixated point that my eyes normally gloss over. Now it's one of the only things I can notice every detail about. "What's everyone talking about?"

"Funeral arrangements." Kokichi shifts his weight from foot to foot. "I don't feel like it's my place to help with this. It really should be up to Erika and Shuichi."

Right. The funeral will take place fairly soon, as will the wake. Just thinking about it makes my stomach lurch, and I feel yet again like I'm going to throw up here and now. "Um. When are they thinking?"

"Two days, I think." His gaze drops to the floor. The momentary silence is thick with awkwardness. Usually we have no shortage of things to talk about. Now, it seems like any topic will just produce mindless smalltalk.

I look down at the clothes I fell asleep in, all wrinkled and disheveled. "I should get dressed," I say by way of dismissal, and turn to go back into my room. Maybe I expect Kokichi to try to stop me, but it doesn't happen.

I take as long as humanly possible to take my clothes out of my closet and put them on- though part of this is unintentional. My body feels heavy, unwilling to move no matter how much I will it to. I'd rather not listen to Aunt Erika and Uncle Hatori and Dad make funeral arrangements.

The most I shrug on is a pair of slightly worn jeans and one of Mom's old sweatshirts from when she was in high school. It's a bit big on me- I'm still not as tall as Mom- but it's soft and smells like her. Just that simple factor is a comfort, like I'm in one of Mom's hugs.

I check my phone once more as I pull my brush deliberately through my hair, stalling for as long as possible. Tadaaki texted me a couple more times, despite his grounding, and Hikari sent me a couple pictures, but other than that, there's nothing new. The brush catches on a couple knots- no surprise there. My hair never really liked me to begin with.

By the time I finish, it's been fifteen minutes, which I still feel to be too little time. I tidy a couple little things on my desk, straighten my bed, dust off a couple pictures I have hanging up. This is the most cleaning I've done in a while, which maybe is a bit pathetic. If Hikari's mom, Aunt Kirumi, saw my room, she'd have an aneurism.

Maybe I should go over there sometime soon. This is one of those times I could really use their guidance- both Hikari and Hikari's moms. They're like second and third mothers to me, and always have the best advice. I could probably shoot Hikari a quick text, leave a note for Aunt Erika, and sneak out if I really want to. It would probably be good to get out for a while anyway.

Before I can, though, a knock comes from my door. Reluctantly, I pull the door open, revealing Dad and Aunt Erika. "What?"

"Do you want to come eat something?" Dad starts off. He always was a bit of a worrier at times, but I've gotten used to that over the years. I shake my head.

"Mei, at least come out of your room. We need to talk." Aunt Erika holds out her hand for me to take, but I ignore it and push past her instead. I'm being a bit rough, but I can't help it. It still feels like I'm not in control of my movements.

They follow me out to the kitchen, where Uncle Hatori and Kokichi still are. They talk in low voices about something or other, who knows what. "So? What did you want to talk to me about?"

All too quickly, there's silence. Four pairs of eyes dart around, like nobody wants to be the one to tell me. So many emotions are mixed in the room, and I feel like I'm drowning in them.

Finally, it's Aunt Erika who breaks the silence. "You know that your uncle and I aren't going to be staying here for much longer."

"Right." I don't see the problem quite yet, though it's staring me right in the face.

"So we think it would be best if you moved in with Shuichi and Kokichi full time."

That realization slaps me in the face, hard. It's not like I haven't stayed over with my dads sometimes when Mom had to go somewhere without me. Hell, sometimes I even stayed over for a "sleepover" on random weekends. I have my own room in their house. But just the thought of not staying here, in the house I grew up in for as long as I can remember, made me freeze up.

"I...what?" I blink a couple times, looking around at everyone. Is now really the best time to spring this on me?

"You'll be living with us." Dad moves slightly so he can take Kokichi's hand, maybe to stop his own from shaking. That's something I got from him, I suppose.

Too much information, all at once. I still haven't fully accepted that Mom is dead, and they expect me to be ready to move in with my dads full-time? Leave the house where I have all of the memories of Mom? Ridiculous.

I don't say anything as I turn and walk out of the kitchen. Uncle Hatori tries calling me, but I cut him off. "I'm going on a walk," I say, and shut the front door behind me. If they know what's good for everyone, nobody will follow me.

The streets are bare as far as I can see. The trees lining the sidewalk shake in the breeze, their vibrant colors cutting my vision. A few already fell, crushed beneath my sneakers. The path I'm taking is so familiar to me, I barely have to look at it. I can escape into my mind and trust that my feet can bring me to my destination.

Of course, I'm right about that. My mind is blank on the way to Hikari's house. I only snap back to reality as her house comes into view, the single flower bush in front of it nearly bare.

The door opens before I can even ring the doorbell, but instead of Hikari, it's Aunt Miu. "Hey, kid. Your dad thought you might be coming." It's hard not to notice the red rimming her eyes, but Aunt Miu steps aside nonetheless. "C'mon."

Hikari's other mom, Aunt Kirumi, is right inside as well, already pouring three cups of tea. "Good morning, Mei. Tea?"

"Thank you." I take one of the cups Aunt Kirumi holds out, blowing off the steam. I notice again the three cups as Aunt Miu picks one up for herself. "Where's Hikari?"

"School, of course. It's Friday." Aunt Kirumi is quieter than usual as she speaks. I completely lost all sense of time. A quick glance at the clock tells me it's only nine; school started an hour ago. Aunt Erika must've called me in sick.

Aunt Miu sips her tea, even though it's still steaming. "We're really sorry, Mei. Losing your mom like that must really fucking suck." Aunt Kirumi looks like she wants to say something about her language, but holds back at the last moment.

I don't say anything, instead stare into my cup of tea, swirling it around a little. I don't want to be reminded. Everything I associate with Mom is always a reminder.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't wish to," Aunt Kirumi tells me, "but know that we're always here if you need to talk to either of us."

I know. They always are, no matter what. They always make it clear, since they are- were- such good friends with Mom. They're practically my aunts, and I even refer to them as such. It's almost strange seeing them here in the morning, not doing anything. I'm used to them working so often that Hikari has to tell them to take a break. "I don't want to talk about that yet," I say slowly, tasting the words. I pause a moment before continuing. "I'm moving in with my dads soon."

While I expect the silence, a hint of knowledge seems to creep into the atmosphere. They must've already suspected. "That's only a couple blocks away from school, isn't it?" I nod, and Aunt Miu smiles a little. "Closer to us, too."

I never thought of that, but I'm mostly focused on the bigger picture. "They're making me leave where all of my memories of Mom are." Already I feel tears rising up again, but I'm tired of crying so much. "I don't want to lose those memories."

Still staring into my cup, I feel Aunt Miu give me a hug from the side. "I know how you feel, kid. It sucks to leave memories behind like that." She laughs dryly. "I don't know what to say here."

I didn't think so. And that's alright. Right now, I'm just okay with sitting in silence with them. They have a motherly presence, one that I'm already sorely missing. I take a sip of the tea, the slight bitterness stinging my tongue as much as the heat stings my throat. "You're welcome to wait here for Hikari, if you like." Aunt Kirumi gives me a light, weary smile. "Miu and I will be here all day as well."

"Hikari convince you to take a day off?" That's always how the story goes; Hikari has to make sure her moms don't overwork themselves. Of myself, Hikari, and Tadaaki, Hikari is definitely the one who enjoys relaxation more.

"Not this time." The subject drops after that, though I can guess the reason. They were very good friends with Mom; no doubt they're grieving as well. Past that, I'm not sure what I should say, if anything. But it's okay, because the silence isn't a bad one; it's one full of mutual support. It's not tense like the silence at home.

After finishing my tea and helping Aunt Kirumi with the dishes, I find myself in Hikari's room. This is really my room away from my own rooms, but it's so much neater than my own. That's likely due to Aunt Kirumi's influence. It's literally her job to clean, among other things, and as long as I've known her, Hikari always loved organizing her room.

Sun warms one spot on Hikari's floor when I step on it. I barely even noticed that the relentless rain from yesterday has given way to a blue sky and sunlight. Outside Hikari's window, birds dance from tree to tree without a care, sometimes landing on the bird feeder Aunt Miu made when Hikari and I were younger.

I take a seat on the edge of Hikari's bed, already knowing that I'm likely to get an earful from Hikari for wrinkling her sheets. Hikari learned early on that she liked having her room neat and clean at all times, just like Aunt Kirumi, and I sometimes pay the price for it. I look around the room I've known for all these years, and realize for the first time how incredibly Hikari it is.

On her desk are stacked a few books, a couple of them chemistry textbooks. A white pad of paper here, a black gel pen there. All over her wall, pictures are posted ranging from when she was a baby to now. I'm in a lot of them, as is Tadaaki once he was born. On a shelf are some of her soccer trophies. A string of LED lights line the edges of her room, with the remote also neatly placed on the desk. On her windowsill, right in the light, is a succulent she'd been growing for a couple of years, fondly named Puddles.

Everything about this room just screams Hikari. I wonder if my room at Dad's house will scream that it's mine.

I don't do much while I wait. Aunt Erika, Dad, and Kokichi keep trying to ask me to come back, but eventually their messages stop. They know where I am. I hear Aunt Kirumi and Aunt Miu speak in low voices at some points. At another, the radio turns on, and I hear them working, either cleaning or trying to brainstorm. I check my phone a few more times, waiting for school to let out and Hikari to get back. It's Friday, but she still has soccer right after school. Maybe I can swing by Tadaaki's house first, even though he walks home with Hikari.

Before I even know it, though, Hikari's flying into her room, basically tackling me with a hug that nearly squeezes the breath out of me. "Mei, I am so sorry," she says over and over, and just hearing her say that makes me want to cry all over again. It takes her a good minute to fully let go of me, and by that time both of us are crying. "Is there anything you want to do? Anything you need?"

I shake my head, adjusting myself so I'm laying my head on Hikari's shoulder. Soon enough, I feel the weight of her head on my own. "Can we just sit here? I need my best friend."

"Of course."

X-X-X

"Here, Mom, let me help with that." Kaede stepped to the side of the stove, allowing Mei to come over and start stirring one of the pots while she stirred another. She looked over at Kaede through a curtain of hair. "You know you don't have to do this alone, right? I'm thirteen; I can help now."

Kaede smiled at her, though it was a bit weary. "I know, sweetie. I'm just used to doing it on my own, that's all." The truth was, she'd been working more and sleeping a bit less recently, and with winter approaching it was possible that she was coming down with a cold. But she could handle the regular household chores either way; she did for years before Mei could help much around the house.

"Well, not anymore. I'm helping with dinner from now on." Kaede could detect a smile in her voice as she said that. "I'm experienced, you know. I help Kokichi make dinner when I stay over there."

"I didn't know we had a chef in the family." Her own voice took on a teasing quality, and she nudged Mei in the calf with her foot. "Okay, then. This shouldn't take too much longer to finish, and then we can eat."

The rest of dinner was made in silence, but it was nice to know that they were there together, spending time with each other. Kaede was busy sometimes with work, and Mei was starting to have a more active social life of her own with her friends, so they were starting to see each other less and less. She wished it didn't have to be that way, but this was the age teens started to grow apart from their parents. She had to start to expect it.

"You're right, this is better now that the two of us made it together." Mei really must've picked up some little tricks from Kokichi the last time she was over there, because there was so much more flavor that there usually was.

Mei smiled at her, a bit cocky but sweet at the same time. "Told you." She poked around at her food for a moment before talking again. "Hey, Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go to the movies this weekend? There's one playing that I think you'll like, and I kinda wanted to go see it with you. If you want." She ducked her head, looking down at her food.

Kaede grinned, setting down her fork. "I don't have any plans. Let's do it!" Mei looked up, seeming a bit surprised, but happy. "I'm serious. This'll be a lot of fun."

Mei's posture straightened a bit. "Okay, then. We have plans!" She went on to tell Kaede what the movie was about, and debated what time they should go, but Kaede could barely pay attention.

Maybe her little girl was growing up, but she still wanted to spend time with her. That made her feel so much better.

I really like showing the before of this situation with the little scenes at the end, just to give a better sense of Kaede and Mei's relationship as mother and daughter.

Also, if you could please take a moment to vote on the poll on my profile, I'd really appreciate it!

Thank you to An1meG33K for favoriting, signelchan for reviewing and following, the tumblr users who have liked and reblogged, and everyone else for reading! Please don't forget to leave a review, I really appreciate them!