Disclaimer: as usual, I don't own KKM.
Warning: confusing roles? Mostly conversations…
Before we start: I will be using mostly the English version, except for a few (Shinou or maybe Maou (just in case I might decide to turn Yuri into that sexy hunk of a double-black) and other words I don't know the English version of). This short chappie is just Yuri's POV. A friendly reminder: Yuri is Wolf; Wolf is Yuri.
Thanks to: ajgau1, Death To Haru, Tati-ai, contravene431, hannah-asakura and Knight of Caeli for the R&R's!!!
Snowglobe, my arse!!!
DA No. 9284: The Anissina Law
Yuri cracked his eyes open and squinted from the bright early morning sunlight that filtered through the windows that faced the side of his bed. His stomach growled quite menacingly. Oh right. I didn't have dinner last night… Why didn't I take my dinner last night? When he couldn't recall, he just shrugged and turned to the warm body lying next to him, planning on planting a big, wet kiss on the boy's lips, but stopped… Eh? He blinked at the person beside him who was still fast asleep. I probably must still be sleeping and I'm dreaming of waking up beside – myself? And how come I'm wearing Wolfram's nightgown? Oh, wait… it kinda looks nice on me – what am I thinking!? But pink is kinda flattering; I do look like I'm glowing. No wonder Wolfram looks cute in it.
The dark-haired boy budged and whispered, "Mmm… Wimp…"
"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side, well, considering you're me… I can't believe I'm calling myself a wimp!" Yuri wailed.
Dark eyes slowly opened, "What's all this commotion so early –" his eyes grew wide then quickly rolled out of bed, unsheathed Wolfram's sword leaning next to the bedpost, aiming it at the other kneeling on the mattress. "Who are you?" he demanded.
Ooh… I didn't know I could sound so threatening. Yuri threw up his hands, "Hey, chill out Yuri." It feels weird talking to myself.
The other's eyes narrowed. "Yuri? Why are you calling me–" He suddenly felt weak and dropped the sword to the ground. "Oh, so that wasn't a dream?" he groaned.
"What wasn't a dream? I am dreaming right now, aren't I?"
"No, you wimp! Snowglobes ring any bell?" Wolfram asked through gritted teeth.
"Oh?" Yuri tried hard to think about what his other form had said. Snowglobes, snowglobes, snowglobes… then recollection slowly but surely came to him. "Oh." He eyed the other boy curiously. "So… you're Wolfram and not Yuri?"
Wolfram clenched his fists at his sides and glared ominously at his fiancé. "Yuri, I know I said I would kill you if we die and since we didn't, I'd still kill you anyway!" then lunged for Yuri. Wolfram straddled him, his fingers circling around the other boy's neck.
"Wolf, if you kill me, you'd be killing yourself, too! You won't have a body to go back to!"
"Right now, I don't care! I just want to make you sore!"
"Didn't we do enough of that yesterday?"
Wolfram's grip tightened around Yuri. "How could you even joke around at a time like this, you wimp!?"
"Ack, gak, uck!" Yuri tried prying Wolfram's fingers off and he almost succeeded when the doors burst open. They stopped in mid-struggle to look at the intruder.
"Your Majesty! It's time for - gasp - Wolfram, what are you doing with – er, to His Majesty?"
Yuri realized the advisor was talking to him. "What!? Hey, I'm the one who's being killed here!"
Gunter looked at one bare shoulder that the gown had slipped off from. "Oh my! Your Majesty, why – why are you wearing Lord Wolfram's night –" then stopped as he put his hand before his nose, a nosebleed had come. "Your Majesty, please excuse me. I must clear my head," came a muffled statement then dashed out, slamming the door behind him.
A few minutes later, they were almost done dressing when they realized they had the wrong pieces of clothing on. It took another few more minutes for them to exchange and was about to head out for breakfast. "Yuri, don't you think we should really tell everyone what happened? I think they're bound to find out sooner or later."
Yuri strapped on Wolfram's sword to his side then chewed on his bottom lip. "Is there really no other way we could fix this ourselves?"
"Unless one of us is good with mechanics, then no."
Yuri's forehead wrinkled, chewing on his lower plump lip a bit more. Finally, he sighed, "Very well. We could just tell them we were playing hide and seek in Anissina's lab."
They headed out the door. "I highly doubt they'll believe that; they're not morons, Yuri. It's been a long time since we've been engaged, they should be expecting our relationship to go a notch higher, or two."
"I just don't think Gwendal or Gunter would approve of us doing something like that out of wedlock."
"Oh please! We're as good as married, Yuri."
"All right, fine! You've proven your point! We'll tell them." Yuri sighed. "Man, I didn't know I could sound so demanding."
"And I didn't know I could sound so wimpy! Don't complain too much, you'll ruin my image."
"Ah! What image?" Yuri asked as they entered the dining hall, deliberately rushing in and not giving a chance for Wolfram to answer. He quickly took his seat and spread the napkin over his lap then looked at everyone that had already gathered at the table. They were staring at him as if he had decided to come for breakfast naked. "What?"
It was Conrart who answered him, "Wolfram, why are you at His Majesty's seat?"
"A, about that. There's something I need to tell all of you… This is kind of embarrassing–"
The wooden doors suddenly flew open and in strode the woman that was considered the Great Demon Kingdom's very own walking catastrophe, the woman with red hair and piercing blue eyes that was so deep that it obscured the wickedness that settled within her. "It seems like everyone is present, that's good," she declared holding up her left forefinger. "As of this morning, I just found out that someone had been in my lab without my consent; and you all know the consequences to that."
Yuri leaned over to Gunter. "What is she talking about?"
"Wolfram, you don't know?"
Oh shoot! I forgot I was Wolfram! Yuri smiled weakly, "Uh… eh… hehehe… for the sake of my fiancé, maybe we – er, I mean, you should explain it to him?"
Gwendal glowered at the advisor and teacher. "You haven't told His Majesty yet?"
Gunter looked sheepish. "Um, well, I didn't think a law like that could be so important that I had to require His Majesty to be aware of such a law. I didn't–"
"He is the king. He should know every decree, law, and bylaw this kingdom upholds - no matter how insignificant it may seem."
"Yes, you are absolutely right, My Lord." Bowing to the dark-haired king he said, "Forgive me for my negligence, Your Majesty."
Wolfram looked a little uncomfortable in his seat, "Umm… it's okay."
"Maybe now's the time to acquaint His Majesty with Anissina's law?" Conrart suggested.
Anissina's law?
"Yes, yes! Just let me go get the official Great Demon Kingdom rule book."
When Gunter went out to fetch the official Great Demon Kingdom rule book, everyone shifted anxiously under Anissina's accusing glare. Yuri could feel buckets of sweat dripping from every surface of his body that was capable of sweating. He was probably making a puddle of sweat under his seat right now and restrained himself from looking if it was actually happening. What was this law? He wondered nervously. Everyone seemed so frightened about it but why wasn't I told about this? Was it punishable by death – or worse? Was there even a punishment worse than death? He swallowed hard and shifted his eyes at Wolfram. How come he didn't tell me about it? He had to contain himself from looking so guilty. His thoughts were broken when Gunter came back in with a very thick black book. Yuri's head started to spin at the sight of such a hateful book as scores of recollections of him pouring over the book day in and day out flooded his mind. What made it worse was that until now he still had trouble reading Demon text.
"Here it is, Your Majesty." Gunter dropped the book in front of Wolfram and Yuri could swear that he felt the table tilt to one side. He opened it to the last page and pointed at some text. "This is the Anissina law, as we like to label it."
The inventor could only smile smugly as she made her way behind Wolfram's chair and peered at the book
"Where?" Yuri asked, craning his neck trying to look at the pages yellowed with age.
"Here. Under Demon Act Number ninety-two eighty-four –"
"Hey, when did Anissina become queen?" Yuri blurted out.
Everyone turned to look at him as Gunter spoke, "Really, Wolfram, why does it appear that you don't know anything about this?"
Yuri felt himself sweat even harder. Think fast, Shibuya! "Um, well, I just… forgot. You know me, always busy, busy, busy!" then laughed weakly.
Gunter nodded, but seemed like he was not so convinced by Yuri's persuasion.
Gwendal spoke up, "Well, for the sake of His Majesty, I think a thorough explanation should best be under way."
"Well, it was a little more than twenty years ago when we held this 'Ruler for a day' once every two years. Many people of legal age were allowed to participate, even the townsfolk, but, of course, a long and stringent screening had to be followed to avoid any undesirable – um, individuals. Whoever was chosen could be king or queen for a whole twenty-four hours and could formulate any rule that she or he ever wished, granting that they do not wage war, take any lives or imply discrimination." Gunter sighed. "I just don't know how Anissina was chosen."
Gwendal huffed. "Call it Shinou's will."
"Ha!" Anissina exclaimed. "I am more than qualified to be this kingdom's ruler, and wasn't because it was Shinou's will!"
"Ruler for a day, huh?" Yuri asked, contemplating. "So why wasn't it continued?"
"Well, everything went well for the first few decades and people were taking the role seriously like they should. It was also a wonderful way for the people of the kingdom to be heard, to have their issues voiced out; it made them active participants of the Demon community. It also helps them realize just how taxing a position could be and they just can't simply complain whenever they find something dissatisfying. But as the tradition went on, very strange rules were made and became stranger and stranger every time."
"How strange?" Yuri asked and Gunter just overlooked Wolfram's sudden ignorance.
"Well…" Gunter placed his finger on his chin, "For instance, hanging a person by his feet if he bathes in the river, naked, with a dragon on a full moon or shaving one's hair off when he is found balancing a bowl of daikemi stew on his head or the most recent, whosoever is seen wearing green breeches riding a black horse shall be tickled until he wets himself."
"And you approve things like that?"
Gunter was looking sheepish again, "Um, well, seemingly harmless laws are usually approved right away. After all, all it did was occupy space in the official Great Demon Kingdom rule book and nothing more."
"Oh."
"So eventually, the tradition was stopped, since hardly anyone was putting value in it anymore. It became quite meaningless."
Wolfram was now holding the book up and was invisible behind the thick volume, now reacquainting himself with the old book that he himself once studied a long time prior.
Gwendal cleared his throat, "Let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we now?"
"Ah, yes. The Anissina Law. Your Majesty, why don't you have a try reading it?"
And Wolfram was only too happy to comply, "No one shall gain admittance to Miss von Karbelnikoff, Anissina's private work chambers without the said proprietor's approval, with exceptions to children below twenty-five years of demon age and ten years of human age. Whosoever violates this precept and is proven guilty by the court shall be condemned for exactly sixty months, not excluding week-ends and holidays, no more and no less, of servitude under Miss von Karbelnikoff, Anissina's jurisdiction and is implied to partake in any research no matter how precarious or unwarranted it may seem and cannot repudiate no matter the circumstances encompassing the event, with the exception of the death of the malefactor."
Okay, so this is what's worse than death! Yuri cried inside.
Everyone turned wide-eyed at Wolfram, who apparently had forgotten that Yuri couldn't read Demon text very well yet, except for Gunter who was beaming with so much pride at his king and student, his eyes on the verge of spilling the happy tears. "Oh, Your Majesty! I didn't know you could read our text so fluently now, as if it was your mother tongue, and a rule book at that! Oh, I, Gunter von Christ, a loyal servant of His Majesty, King Yuri Shibuya Harajuku Furi, have reached the uttermost of my achievements. All those hours pouring over textbooks and locking yourself up, reading and studying had finally paid off! I am so proud of you!" and was now holding Wolfram in one of his crushing embraces.
Yuri chuckled as he watched the two of them go at it. Now Wolfram knows exactly how I feel! Turning to Anissina, "Um, I don't mean to sound rude, but why in the world would you make such a law?"
Anissina stared at Yuri for a few seconds and wondered why Wolfram was so courteous all of a sudden – not to mention oblivious. She blinked. "Well, if I remember correctly, a particular somebody would try to sneak into my lab and take away all my wonderful inventions," rolling her eyes towards Gwendal who scowled.
"And if I remember correctly, they were not wonderful, not one bit," Gwendal retorted sourly.
"So you made this because Gwendal was bugging you?" Yuri asked.
Anissina sighed. "It was the time when we wanted to settle the differences between us a little more than subtly. But, come on! That was more than twenty years ago. But I never regretted it. I'll always know that my babies are always safe… until now." She slammed her closed fist against an open palm. "Who ever broke my I-am-such-a-loser-and-my-life-sucks-and-I-want-yours-so-lets-exchange-because-I-think-you-have-a-better-life-than-mine-kun shall be condemned for sixty months of servitude under my jurisdiction! I'm getting to the bottom of this… so better 'fess up, Gwendal! I know you did it! Old habits die hard!"
The man dropped his spork with a clatter. "I did no such thing! I'm way over that phase."
Anissina huffed and stomped towards the door, turned back to them one last time and pointed at Gwendal, who flinched. "I'm going to prove that it was you who broke my I-am-such-a-loser-and-my-life-sucks-and-I-want-yours-so-lets-exchange-because-I-think-you-have-a-better-life-than-mine-kun, and you cannot deny becoming my guinea pig!" She guffawed wickedly as she left the room leaving the feel of dread hanging heavily inside the dining hall.
Yuri swallowed a lump that seemed to be stuck in his throat no matter how many times he swallowed. So that was Anissina's invention. It wasn't a snowglobe after all. Yuri felt totally sheepish. Of course Anissina wouldn't make something like a snowglobe; she was evil, snowglobes aren't evil.
Conrart took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Well, that sure was an interesting way to start the day, don't you think?" asking everyone in general.
The oldest brother sighed, "Now you see why you had to inform His Majesty about seemingly pointless laws, Gunter? Anissina's out to get me; she's never going to let me live this down."
"I just thought everyone had a good sense to avoid that wretched chamber. I mean, I know, I wouldn't enter there even if I was paid!" Gunter defended.
Lord von Voltaire braced his aching head against his thumb and fingers as he propped his elbow against the surface of the table. "It was probably just one of the maids, who didn't know better, doing the cleaning and dropped it by accident."
Gunter finally released Wolfram from his death grasp and went back to his seat. He chortled as he spread the napkin over his lap. "I'm just glad it's not one of us. Whoever did it is doomed."
Yuri gave Wolfram a worried side-glance. Yeah, doomed!
As breakfast was served, Conrart turned his attention to his godson. "Wolfram, weren't you telling us something before Anissina came in?"
Wolfram looked up, looking baffled, "I was?"
"No, Your Majesty. I was speaking to Wolfram."
"A, yeah."
"Aah! Conrad – er, L-Lord Weller. That was nothing. Forget it." Calling Conrad as Lord Weller felt totally weird. Wait, does Wolfram address Conrad that way? I never really paid much attention before. What the heck, what's said is said. Besides, he didn't even seemed to notice that I almost slipped back there, Yuri thought as he looked discretely at his godfather toying with his spork, but then again the brunet was always hard to read.
"Wolfram, remind me again why you're seated at His Majesty's chair?" Gunter inquired.
"About that. Wol – Yuri thought it might be nice to change viewpoints for a while. You know, it's good for a robust relationship; to strengthen our bond and – things like that," Yuri provided lamely.
Fortunately for them, Gunter swallowed it, hook, line and sinker. He was glowing once again, "Oh, Your Majesty! You are truly admirable! So full of wisdom and such passion! You will truly become one of the greatest kings to have ever ruled the Great Demon Kingdom! It is such an honor to be your servant. I swear, from this day forth I will always be by your side, to guide you and protect you!"
"Yes, yes!" Wolfram exclaimed acting all grandiose, putting his hand on his chest dramatically.
I do not act like that! Wolfram is such a bad actor! Yuri fumed.
"I'm going to need all the protecting I get, since I am such a wimp and all."
Yuri gaped at Wolfram, who was trying his hardest at hiding his amused smile, and resisted the urge to strangle him right then and there. I get this from someone telling me not to ruin his image? He's so gonna get it later.
Gunter seemed to be at a loss for words. "Uh – well – Your Majesty…" he then turned to Yuri, "Wolfram, stop calling His Majesty a wimp! He is a brave king, who would even sacrifice his life for the sake of this kingdom!"
Wolfram was now snickering softly beside Yuri, apparently enjoying it.
"But I –" Yuri started.
Wolfram cleared his throat and sat up straighter, "Now, now, Gunter. Don't be so harsh on my darling fiancé." Wolfram practically drawled the last two words as he patted Yuri's hand on top of the table. "He is right. I should be grateful to him for helping me realize my true character."
Darling fiancé? Yuri felt like he was going to gag. And no, you did not help me realize my true character and all that bull. What is he doing!? Oh, he's going to die!!! Yuri wanted to protest so badly, but images of him working for Anissina for five whole years (plus holidays and week-ends), doing things unimaginable – or things he'd rather not bother to imagine at all – and painful things, ran frighteningly through his mind, so that shut him up. He just wondered why Wolfram was so daring; he was in as much trouble as Yuri was. Wolfram was just having too much fun mocking him. HE'S DEFINITELY GOING TO DIE!!! I SWEAR IT!!!
-oOo-
As soon as Yuri swallowed the last bit of his breakfast and chugged down his juice, he grabbed his fiancé's hand and dragged him outside to somewhere they could talk privately. He turned around to look at his dead ringer. "What the heck were you trying to pull in there?!"
Wolfram just folded his arms across his chest and huffed – the Wolframy way. "They're not going to find out with just that act, Yuri."
"But weren't you the one who told me that they're not a bunch of morons?"
"Morons, no; a little dense, yes. Besides, you were the one who kept slipping up."
"Oh yeah, like I was the one who forgot that I couldn't read Demon text!"
"Okay, I admit, it was my fault that I forgot."
"You do? Oh and while we're at this, it was also so darn convenient for you to forget about that dang stupid law!"
"Hey, don't put all the blame on me! Really, Yuri, how could I really think straight that time, huh?" Wolfram replied a little coquettishly.
Yuri blushed at the memory and started to heat up. "F-fine! But next time – don't forget!"
"I won't, my darling fiancé."
Yuri cringed, "Don't call me that."
"Oh, so you like wimp better?"
"That's not what I meant." Yuri sighed, "What are we going to do about this? I can't decide which is worse; being stuck in your body my whole life or being stuck with Anissina for five whole years!" Things had definitely gone from bad to worse, and it was only morning! Yuri wanted to throw a temper tantrum, which might not be such a bad idea since Wolfram was already infamous for that.
"I honestly don't know Yuri. Let's think about this tonight, okay? Right now, you have to train the new recruits, but since you're as much of an amateur as they are, I doubt that they'll learn anything. Then you have to go on patrol this afternoon. I wish you all the luck; you're gonna need it, wimp."
"Not as much as you need it signing papers and studying all day!"
"Oh, please. That's marginal labor."
"So you think you're so tough, eh?"
"I know so." Wolfram grinned smugly.
"Let's bet on it then."
"Fine!"
"Whoever doesn't get through this day in one piece sleeps on the floor tonight," Yuri declared holding out his palm.
Wolfram took it and shook Yuri's hand in agreement, making the bet official. "Agreed."
Before they parted, Yuri turned to Wolfram, "Your teacher was Julia right?"
"Yeah, what does it have to do with this?"
"Oh nothing, it's just I'm pretty sure that Gunter's way worse than Julia."
TBC
Notes: If you had trouble picturing Wolfram act as Yuri or vice versa, so did I. I apologize if this isn't as humorous as the first one. I hope I didn't bore you to death with all that conversation. I just needed for them to have enough reason not to tell and this lame thing was the only one I could think of… Sorry :(
Review? Baby, you can be tough. Say enough is enough. You could even be blunt, Just do it with love, love, love, love.