Sam was shaking almost violently as he followed Cas back to his house. His head was spinning and goddamn it he needed a drink or he was going to completely lose it. Everything, everything was just rushing back at him like an unforgiving tsunami, wrecking down the walls Cas had put up in his head.

Six years he went, six, thinking that foul-mouthed little creature was his daughter. The apple of his eye. Chip off the ole' block. Instead no, he'd been raising his dead brother's daughter, daughter from where, he had no idea, and to top it off he'd been given all of forty-five seconds to mourn that brother before it was holed away.

"Cas, you'd better start talking right now. I know what those knives in Dean's bag are, and one of them is an Angel knife. Right now I'm channeling my brother pretty damn hard and I will not waste a moment in ganking your ass if you don't tell me what the hell is going on."

"As you were informed," Cas finally said as they made it to Sam's kitchen, "hell was closed with the Demon Tablet, effectively killing Kevin Tran, but sealing off the doorways to the underworld forever."

Sam shuddered at the memory, of holding that poor kid in his arms as his insides spilled all over Sam's jeans and fuck, if the kid didn't just smile up at him as he bled out because the job was done and he was finally free. "Yeah, I was there, if you recall."

"Yes, I do," Cas deadpanned. "Unfortunately some of the demons managed to find a way to ward themselves from the gates shutting for good. Now, we know that souls can travel between realms, Heaven and Hell, and some of them are making deals with demons."

"Are, or were?" Sam interjected.

"Are," Cas replied. He reached into the fridge and handed Sam a beer. Sam took it, feeling himself getting back into the groove of being with Cas, the angel anticipating his needs and wants, and god it felt good for just that second. "Many of the deals were harmless, but a few of them discovered a bloodline ending on the mother's side with the demon you know as Meg Masters."

At that point Sam went white because the last time he'd seen cute little Meg she was sucking on his brother's neck, and not in a vampy way, but in, as Cas would call, a Pizza Guy sort of way. "Okay," Sam said, urging Castiel to go on.

"The second bloodline ends with the first born of the Winchester line," Cas said in the most unforgiving tone possible, and Sam choked on his beer. "Are you alright?"

"Not really," Sam spluttered. "You're obviously about to tell me that my—Dean's—" and fuck that hurt to say it like that, "daughter, is also Meg's spawn?"

"I'm afraid yes, that is correct."

"So how did Dean get ahold of her? Is Meg in on this?"

"I am not sure," Cas said. He started to pace a little and get that far-off look when he couldn't work something out. "Crowley has escaped hell and I'm convinced he's behind this. I do not know how to find him, however."

"I take it demon-summoning spells don't work like they used to," Sam said with a heavy sigh. "So Crowley's now got Dean and my—his—daughter."

It was in that moment Castiel heard the pain in Sam's voice because he turned and fixed those intense baby blues on the sole existing Winchester. "She's your daughter, Sam. You've raised her, and losing your memory for six years won't change that."

"When we find Dean," Sam started, and when Cas gave him that patronizing look he slapped his hand on the table and said, "when we find him, he gets the chance to raise his daughter."

Cas looked down. "I'm afraid neither of you may have the chance. She's too dangerous to live on earth."

"What the hell are you saying?" Sam nearly-shouted, feeling ready to just take Cas out if that's what he had to do.

"I'm saying just that, Sam, and I am sorry because I know you care for the child. She exists – her and one other—to reopen the gates of hell and unleash a flood of very angry demons onto the world and mankind."

Sam shook his head. "She's a good kid. I mean, she's…" he gave a laugh and shook his head, "I didn't know it all these years, but damn it Cas, she's just like her dad. That foul little mouth of hers, and she can throw a punch like I never could at her age. She doesn't take shit from anyone and she's just absolutely unforgiving. But she's good. She's a good girl and you can bet your ass any kid raised by me or my brother will turn out good."

"It's not a matter of good or evil, Sam, it's a matter of her existence and the power it wields."

"And what would you do with her, exactly?"

"She will be placed in heaven. She has an innocent, human soul, and once she and the others are in heaven and Crowley and Meg are appropriately dealt with, we will complete the tasks on the angel tablet and seal off heaven for good."

And that hit Sam harder than anything yet, because it would mean that his daughter, yeah his daughter because fuck Dean for up and dying and leaving him to carry this weight, would have to die and he would never see her again. He couldn't live with that. No, absolutely not, because he was going to see her graduate, and go to college, and make all the stupid ass mistakes he never got to make because of the life he had to live. And she was going to fall in love and get her heart broken and get married and one day he was going to be a grandpa and neither heaven nor hell was going to stand in the way of that.

"There has to be another way. So find it."

Cas returned at three in the morning. Sam wasn't sleeping, of course, because at this point Lucifer might as well have been reawakened his brain with how tortured he was feeling. He was drinking himself into a stupor when the angel appeared in his bedroom and it startled him so badly that he did the only thing that seemed logical. He laughed until he fell off the bed.

Cas helped him up gingerly, but Sam shoved the angel away, feeling loopy and angry and hating himself a little because he still loved Cas, as much as he wanted to kill him. "How did you do it?" Sam slurred as Cas stood there staring at him. "I mean I get it, you're an angel so you just don't feel the way people do. But… but how?"

"How did I what, Sam?"

"Six years," Sam slurred, letting his head fall onto his pillow. He oopmhed and turned on his stomach, his cheek squished against the mattress as he looked at Cas's form, now distorted by one eye being nearly squashed closed. "Six years you just what? Forgot I existed."

"I watched you," Cas said. "Heaven or no, I will always watch you, Sam. I did my best to protect you."

"It would have killed me, you know," Sam said. His eyes began to slip closed. "To watch you for six goddamn years living your life, not able to touch you, kiss you, feel you near me. If you hadn't erased my memory, it probably would have killed me."

"I had no other choice. You believe it doesn't hurt me, but you're wrong," Cas said quietly. "It was my own version of hell."

"Come tuck me in," Sam said, because frankly he was losing consciousness, whether he wanted to or not.

He only slept a few hours, and when he woke, Cas was sitting on the bed next to him, his fingers in Sam's tousled hair. Sam, for just the barest moment, let himself forget again. Forget about Kate, about Dean, about hell and heaven, and he just felt the hand of the one he loved touching him so tenderly.

"We may have a way to retrieve Dean," Cas said.

Sam sat up and stared at his once-lover, his brows knitted and his heart starting to race. "What?"

"The longer the gates of hell have been sealed, the weaker the demons are growing. Crowley might have once been the King of Hell, but he is just a demon and his powers are starting to wane," Castiel said. He was standing up now, pacing the way he liked to do, hands behind his back and looking so inhuman.

"Okay, so how does that help us find Dean's soul?"

"Per our agreement, Dean's body was buried, providing the ability to be resurrected should we ever find a way to retrieve his soul. Now, I can't be sure what his soul has suffered at the hands of Crowley, but I believe without the resources of Heaven, the damage won't be nearly as severe as when you were locked in the cage with Lucifer."

A violent flash of that torture hit Sam like a ton of bricks and he momentarily lost his breath as he tried to recover. He might have been healed, by Cas of all things, but it wasn't gone. No, it was never gone, and the thought of Dean spending six years, six aching impossible years…

Sam shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "So what are we waiting for?"

Cas hesitated, telling Sam in that moment there was more, something not good, not good at all and obviously however they were going to bring Dean back would come with a price. "It seems that we've also uncovered more about the deal your mother made to save your father's life."

And really, that was the last thing that Sam wanted to hear, because damn it he'd been through enough at the hands of his parents' mistakes. He rubbed his face and brushed past Cas to the small sink near his bathroom to wash the sleep out of his eyes. "Hit me with it."

Cas hesitated, another small tell that whatever it was, was likely to send Sam over the edge into absolute fury. "Your… unique abilities weren't specifically due to demon blood you'd ingested as an infant," he said slowly. He came up behind Sam, stretching out a hand as if to touch him, then seemed to think better of it and dropped his arm to his side. "I'm afraid that John Winchester wasn't your biological father."

And oddly, it all sort of made sense, and Sam waited for the rage to hit him, but it didn't. It couldn't because ingesting a few drops of demon blood just didn't make any sense to Sam why his life was just a pile of shit. But being the kid of a demon—well yeah. Obviously things wouldn't turn out so well. Being half demon would obviously trump his desires to get out of the hunting life and be a lawyer or whatever pathetic, human job he'd wanted when he was twenty-two.

It was the look on Cas's face when he figured out who his father was, and it was clear Cas was expecting him to freak by the surprised 'O' his mouth made when Sam just started laughing. Through gasping tears, Sam shook his head and said, "Crowley, right? Crowley? Even before the son of a bitch became King of Hell he was fucking with my family. Yeah well, that makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?"

Cas cleared his throat, clearly unsure how to deal with the human emotional outburst he didn't quite understand. "You and Dean are still brothers, and we can use your blood to call his soul."

"But if we do that, likely Crowley will show up with demons ready to smite me, or whatever, and it will end bloody and stupid," Sam said with a wave of his hand. "Story of my life."

He grabbed a clean shirt from the floor and walked down the stairs. Cas appeared in front of him as he started his coffee pot, his face drawn and somber. "I'm afraid you don't understand the gravity of the situation."

Sam turned suddenly, grabbing Cas by the collar of his coat and he pulled him in, kissing him hard. The Angel didn't respond, but Sam didn't expect him to, and he shoved Cas backwards slightly. "That color looks stupid on you."

Cas looked down at the faded black trench and shrugged. "Try something new."

"Look, we obviously don't have a choice, and if the demon powers are starting to lose their grip, we probably have a shot at getting Dean back and stopping Crowley from being able to bathe in our blood, or whatever that maniac wants."

Cas gave a slow nod. "We can perform the ritual where Dean's body is buried."

"And that is?"

"I placed his body in the ground in Maine, the exit portal from purgatory. I feel I was right to assume that as the gates of hell are sealed, Crowley would have hidden Dean away the only place I could not reach him. Once Dean has been resurrected, we should be able to use his blood and call back Kate to have her safely sent to Heaven."

Sam flinched, because no matter how many times Cas explained the necessity of it, there was just no way in hell he was going to lock his daughter away with those psychotic Angels for all of eternity. He loved her far too much for that.

"Where's the other kid?" Sam finally asked.

Cas frowned. "Other kid?"

"I'm going to assume that Jimmy kid—and Jimmy Novak, very clever—was the other Meg spawn you were worried about. He was younger than Kate, so I have to assume he's not Dean's kid."

"He's mine," Cas said, and that little revelation nearly knocked the wind out of Sam.

"Yours? You have a kid?"

Cas gave a slow nod. "Yes. It was a momentary lapse in judgment and I've taken care of it."

"Where is he?" Sam demanded, choosing to focus on the kid's whereabouts so he could ignore the fact that Cas fucked Meg and god did that hurt. He had no claim over Cas, no right to feel betrayed but that didn't stop the ache from ripping through him.

"He's with Anna in Heaven. He's safe and will remain so the moment heaven is sealed."

A thought struck Sam after that, one so painful and intense that his knees buckled a little and he turned to Cas. "What happens then? When Heaven is sealed?"

"I do not understand your question."

"What happens to you?"

But Sam didn't need an answer when he saw the heartbreak in Castiel's blue eyes. Because there was only one real answer, and that was Cas would be gone too, just like the rest of them. And the humans would all be safe from the sadistic angels and demons, and Sam would be back on earth, more alone than he had ever been in his life.

Clearing his throat, he grabbed his keys from the counter and threw them up in the air, catching him with his other hand. "Main's a long drive, we'd better get going now."