When We Read the Fan Fiction

Summary: The characters of A:TLA comment on what they've found so far on fan fiction sites, refuting what many people think and letting the truth be known.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the Last Airbender, any of the characters, etc... I only own this virtual warehouse.

A/N: Extremely thankful to all of you reviewers out there, and if you're not reviewing, I'm going to eat you. With salt. Yeah, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Glad you guys liked the introductory chapter. Hopefully you'll continue to like the ones to come. Review, or I'll eat you. Keep that in mind.

-ScorpioRed112 (A.K.A. The Fic Shrink)

The Sessions Begin

Katara and Aang, needless to say, did not like the arrangement. I knew I had to do something, but neither seemed willing to talk about the situation, nor confront it, nor try to change it.

"There is absolutely no way I can switch with Toph? And you're absolutely sure?" She must have asked that at least 45 times. And each time the answer was the same. No, Katara, you cannot switch. You have signed a contract, and you belong to be now for the next couple of months, and must follow the rules. Toph's schedule is way different than yours.

Aang did not ask me to switch, but he refused to talk to me or Katara, and spent much of his time either moping around with Toph or complaining to Sokka. I began getting worried. This was not what I had planned.

That was after the first day. On the second day, I began the sessions.

I encountered the fiction-plagued souls at the kitchen table early on the second day, and pulled out my note pad and pen, and looked at them.

"What is it now?" Zuko asked annoyingly. "Are you going to have us jump through hoops like poodle-monkeys? And then take more notes?"

"Why, what good would that do? I have no hoops in the building, and therefore that plan would never work. But, mind you, your sessions will begin today."

"Sessions?" they all groaned.

"Yes, yes. Sessions. Let me explain, dears." I pulled up a chair. "Each day, I will be working with four of you for a total of one hour. They may be all at the same time or all individually or two at a time or a mixture of these combinations. I want to really get to know who you are and what you think. You know, about fanfiction, and fanart, and all that other stuff we've talked about."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Toph stick out her tongue and Zuko cross his arms. "Listen here, I know it's not exciting, but you all signed contracts, and I am a certified doctor."

"So," Sokka asked. "Who's starting?"

"Starting! Well..." I had yet to think about that. Who would start? The thought of Katara and Aang crossed my mind, for I am a sucker for both, but I did not want to dose them up too well. They had just went the other day. Plus, some I knew some alone time would do them good. "Sokka, Zuko, Toph, and Iroh," I stated decisively. "You will go first, this afternoon."

The four stared at me wide-eyed, jaws nearly touching the table. "What?" is all I heard before I headed out the kitchen.

"This is infuriating!" Zuko cried when we arrived to the session room. "I don't see why we're even here! This is such a waste of time! There is no point to—"

"Stop your belly-aching!" Toph responded. "You sound like a freaking pregnant woman."

"What?!" Zuko's aggressiveness was noticeable in his tone, and I grew nervous.

"Listen guys, take a deep breath, alright? I know it's a bit stuffy in here, and that you don't really like one another, but this is for the education of the masses. Remember that." They took their seats, around in the couches, and everything grew quiet.

My mind drifted to Katara and Aang, but I decided to pay more attention to this group here, and pulled out my notebook.

"Are we all familiar with the pairings?" I asked.

"Like what?" Sokka responded. "What pairings?"

"You know—um...Toka, Suko, Toku, Muko..."

"What is that gibberish?" Iroh asked, and then sighed. "You young people and your fan crazes."

"No, um, sir. Well—here, let me explain it."

I explained it to them, and I will explain it in brief for you. Toka is Sokka and Toph (I, for one, don't have much of a problem with this one). Suko is...well, it's Zuko and Sokka. Yeah, I know. Toku is Zuko and Toph. Not too fond of that, either. And then there's Muko, which is Mai and Zuko. I'm actually a bit okay with this one as well. But remember, it's up to the characters. I waited for their response, and I have outlined it for you here.

Zuko: That is complete and utter crap!

Sokka: How can they...how would they...

Toph: brows ruffled, face red

Sokka: Oh my God...Oh my...

Zuko: What the hell are we supposed to do about this? This is NOT acceptable! First I have to deal with Zutara, and now these things! Uncle, we're leaving! Stands up.

I cut in after that.

"Hey! I'm sorry if you guys...well, I know it's annoying and everything. But we're here to deal with it, remember? Zuko, since you're so eager, we'll start with you."

He was unhappy about this, and crossed his arms, but he sat down.

"Which of these ships bother you the most?"

"All of them!"

"There isn't a certain one that you really don't mind?"

"All of them are crap."

"Not one is acceptable to you?"

"Not ONE."

"Not even...Muko?"

He glared at me. "Fine," I stated. "I guess we'll have to deal with this some other day. I'm not up to your pregnant woman complaints! Sokka, we'll do you next." Without my consent, Zuko got up and left the room, his Uncle followed, and I sighed.

"Sokka, these all bother you?"

"Well, not that I care much for the angry one over there. It's just annoying that we have to be paired without...um, notice."

"I agree," Toph added. "Who even has time to go through and write this? And think of it?"

"You'd be surprised!" I laughed, thinking of myself. "But really now guys, which ones bother you the most, or the least?"

"I hate Suko. That is just so impossible it makes me want to kill something." Sokka said.

"I hate all of them," Toph replied. "Every last one."

"And...how about Toka? Any response to that?" I was excited. I liked this ship. Not a lot, but enough for me to get excited, and enough for them too, I suppose. I took out my pen.

S: Well...that also seems impossible.

T: nodding slowly, red. Seeing how there's an age difference.

S: Right, and different Nations and everything.

T: And...how we're friends and all. It is pretty impossible.

S: I know, right? Some of these writers and just plain weird.

T: Yeah, I agree.

S: Plus all of the romantics are with my sis and arrow head.

T: laughing. Can't argue there.

S: Neither can I. Tokka. Who would have thought.

T: nodding.

"Well! You guys certainly are mature about this whole thing!" I was so surprised I nearly cried. Who would have thought, Sokka and Toph, being so calm?

"We've talked about this before," Sokka informed. "Not really this this, but just about ships in general."

"They don't interest us," Toph stated, and then to add to the effect she yawned.

"I see. I guess that destroys my purpose then." I put the note book away. "That just cut an hour session! Amazing."

"I think you need to work more with drama queen over there," Sokka stated. "He's the one that needs the help."

"We don't need to talk about ships. We can talk about anything. What's on your minds?" I stared at each one with content interest. "We can talk about family, or friends, or anything in between."

They were both silent.

"Sokka, do you think you'll be seeing your father again soon?"

"Sure, yeah...I mean, I hope I will."

"Do you miss him?"

He blinked. "Of course I miss him! What kind of question is that?"

"How about you, Toph?"

"I never really knew Sokka's father."

Ha! She was a clever one, that Toph. "No, dearest, I mean your father."

She was silent for a moment, blinking. "Not really. If I don't ever see him again, it wouldn't bother me."

"Are you just saying that for the sake of our audience, or do you really mean it?"

She seemed to be perplexed by this statement. Had I caught her in the act of lying? Maybe. I waited.

"I'm saying that...because it's true."

"Alright. What do you guys think of my warehouse? Do you like living here."

Sokka and Toph both smiled. "Ha," Sokka laughed. "Free food, a place to shower, a place to sleep. It isn't bad. Poorly decorated and annoying, but not bad."

Toph smiled. "You must have spent a lot of money. You know what's on my mind? Why would you go through this?"

It was interesting that they were asking me questions. But I nodded slowly. "I like hearing from the victims," I stated. "Now, you both agree that Katara and Aang are more than friends, too?"

I know, I know. How can I be a doctor when I am so biased. Well remember, SELF-PROCLAIMED. I guess I can be a bit biased, can't I? It's only fair.

"Any one can see that," Sokka stated. "But I'm not too worried anymore."

"Why is that?"

"Well...for a fact, I've read my sister's diary, and it's obvious that—"

"SHE HAS A DIARY?" I swear I could have fainted, because I had thought for a very long time that Katara's diary was only a fiction object, something to manipulate. "YOU MEAN THE DIARY IS REAL?!"

Sokka and Toph both jumped back a bit, perhaps questioning my sanity. Sokka peeped up, "yes, yes she does! Jeez, are you going to be okay?"

"Ah..." I relaxed. "I'm going to be much, much more than okay."

"You're crazy. And obsessed," Toph had also retired to her original position. "So what if she has a diary? Are you planning on reading it?"

In truth...okay, I won't lie. I really DID want to read it. Not to invade privacy or whatever, but to learn more about KatAang. My quick thinking saved me. "I won't need to read it, because Sokka here already has, and can tell us about it."

"Ew!" Toph screeched. "I don't want to hear about Katara and Twinkle Toes' secret love life. Gross!" She stood up, and left. "I'm outta here."

"I have to tell you," Sokka warned. "I read this like...a while after Aang joined the group. So it's a bit dated."

A bit dated? A bit? It was older than Gran Gran! It would be of no use to me! No use whatsoever! Her emotions and feelings would have changed by then! I hid my head in my hands. "No! That's so old. It'll never do!"

"Sorry to hear that. Can I leave now?"

I nodded miserably and he left me with my sorrow, utterly and completely destroyed with despair.

"How did the first meeting go?" Katara asked Toph as I listened from the next room. "Bad?" They began a conversation, and I have it here for you.

T: It was fine. We didn't talk about much.

K: I really want to leave this place. It's giving me the creeps.

T: Ditto. Laughing. Where's Twinkle Toes? Still sulking?

K: angrily. How should I know? Why are you asking me?

T: Um...

K: It's like I'm supposed to know everything about Aang's whereabouts! Ugh!

T: Calm down!

K: I am calm!.

T: You know, you have some serious issues.

K: I have issues?! How can you say that?!

T: See? You're just as crazy as that shrink, and worse!

K: You are infuriating!

I was expecting arguments, but none like this. Soon I heard the slam of a boulder and a splash of ice and water, and I ran into the room. I found that part of the wall was now in the middle of the area, surrounded by ice and sludge, and part of the ceiling sunken in.

"Guys! How could you!" I pointed to the shambles of furniture and the wall. "My beautiful warehouse! I spent so much money on this! You signed contracts!"

"Don't talk to me about contracts! I never agreed on coming here!" Katara screamed. "This was all some clever trap!"

I grimaced, looking at both of them. "You're acting like children, you've went against your contracts, just cost me hundreds in repairs, and ruined the living room." I sighed, crossed my arms. "I think it's time for a change of plans. A big one! We're changing room partners."

Their mouths hung open, and they screeched "what?!" at the same time.

"I refuse! I'm not staying any where near that control freak," Toph proclaimed.

"I'm not staying near that messy, over grown—Agh!" A slice of rock just missed Katara's head, flying and breaking the window behind her.

"She just tried to kill me!" Katara cried in desperation. "I'll show you—"

But I interfered, grabbing Katara's wrist and Toph's in a gentle but firm manner, looking at both of them. "I'm going to leave the room," I said calmly. "If the room isn't fixed by the time I get back, neither one of you is getting paid, and I'll keep you for an extra week. It's all in the contracts." And then I left, and closed the door behind me.

When I told you that I had fixed the place up, I was not lying, and do not plan on ever lying to you. I added a courtyard and atrium the following couple of days, with trees and shrubs and flowers and complimentary signs. Some of them read:

So what if you're only 12? You can SAVE THE WORLD!

You're father's love doesn't matter that much. We all love you here!

We are all equal: Bending or No!

The Fire Nation isn't THAT big. You can take up Firebending if you really want to!

It's not so bad being blind! Oh wait—

Cross-overs are just another way for fans to say, "I love this show and another one!"

The Fire Nation may be scary, but it's really nice on the inside...maybe.

They were very nice signs, homemade and all, and they hung proudly all over the courtyards.

Alas, I grow tired, and my pen has run out of ink and I must buy another one. I hope to hear your reactions to this chapter soon, because I think that we are making progress. Until next time!

-This is your friendly neighborhood Fic Shrink, Signing off.