A/N: Just wanna thank all my followers and people who reviewed! Please leave one again or if you haven't already! :-D Hope everyone had a good weekend and I'm going to try and update more...

Chapter Two: Crazy, Nuts, and All Screwed Up

November 1

It was dead silent in the precinct, even with all of the cops buzzing around there was barely a sound. All the was audible was the occasional cough or the murmur of a lowered conversation. Olivia and Elliot were both seated in Cragen's office, not sure what to say to one and other much less anyone else. Blood was still racing through their veins imagining the little girl's face, the way blood spattered the walls when he shot her...

Cragen had been outside discussing the situation with the lieutenant, who was to say the least not very happy. Elliot couldn't blame him. He'd been as enraged as the lieutenant was if two experienced detectives thought they could handle a largely armed sex slave rig all by themselves. Not to mention the fact that an innocent little girl got killed because of them. If they had waited for backup, Ricardo would have been shot from behind, unsuspecting, and two less lives would be lost.

They watched with intent as Cragen nodded to the yelling lieutenant who then marched off. Cragen stood for a moment, clearly as upset by the situation as Liv and Elliot, but he wasn't the kind of man to show it. He was the one person who was holding this family together and he wasn't about to break down in front of them.

Don swung open the door, not making eye contact with either of them before slamming it shut again and taking a seat at his desk, staring at his hands.

It was several long seconds before anyone spoke.

"Don...," Elliot began guilt present in his voice.

"Save it, Elliot," Cragen said in a low voice. Olivia didn't hear anger in his voice, only exhaustion. After all it was well after one in the morning and everyone's adrenaline was still running high as ever. None of them knew if they would ever be able to get any sleep again. The little girl's dead body was still plastered in the minds of all three of them, but only Elliot and Olivia remembered the way she was begging for the man to get off of her.

"There has been an utter uproar in the sex slave trade all across the globe.," Cragen told them, "Ricardo was their leader and now that you've killed him their sights are set on you." Elliot and Olivia exchanged a worried glance.

"Wait, what?," Elliot asked in confusion. "How the hell do you know they're coming after us?"

Cragen glanced at Elliot and Olivia both and finally sighed in exasperation.

"We have an undercover agent stationed in California. Ricardo hasn't been dead a day and theres already talk of murdering whomever killed him," Cragen said massaging the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to rid the headache that had been gnawing at his head for hours. Elliot and Olivia were silent, fear finding it's way into their minds. There was no way in hell any number of police officers and guns could protect them now. The sex slave industry was one of the most dangerous and prosperous in the world. It was easy money, using women and girls to provide a body for a horny pedophiles who wanted no commitments or arrests to be made. It was sad, but it was the truth and there wasn't a chance that it would ever die down...not when it was so successful.

"What should we do?," Olivia squeaked next to Elliot, mulling over the situation in her mind. Cragen sighed and looked at the two of them. The two detectives that he knew couldn't work without each other. Elliot had been gone for two long years, leaving Olivia in sadness and guilt. Amaro had been a good partner. They'd gotten along, been good friends, helped each other out, but Cragen still knew she wanted her best friend back in her life. And when Elliot had showed up at the precinct pleading for his job back, explaining his divorce and his downhill spiral, Cragen knew he had to give him the benefit of the doubt. When Olivia found out that Nick had been partnered with Munch and that she was now back with her old partner, she hadn't been very happy. It took some extreme convincing from Cragen to have her give it a shot for a few months. She had agreed reluctantly, but she still gave Elliot those cold, snarky comments every once in a while.

"Witness Protection," Cragen said shortly, making eye contact with both of them.

"What?!," They said in unison, both shooting out of their seats and looking down at him as if he were crazy. Cragen knew that they would react like this, so he didn't blink an eye at their dramatic show.

"Liv, Elliot, I know that it seems like-," Cragen started, but Elliot cut him off.

"Don't you dare think that I'm going to leave my kids!," Elliot yelled, his face turning red with anger, "I know we screwed up and I'm sorry, but I can take care of myself." Cragen watched him intently.

"I don't need someone watching over me 24/7," Olivia said in a small voice, "I'm a trained detective, I can handle it."

"You didn't seem to show that tonight," Cragen said, his voice rising, "You both got two innocent people killed, one a little girl! I don't see how you came to make that decision that going in there by yourselves would be the smart thing to do! Because of you the sex slave trade is going to retaliate, kill more, do more, and make our lives hell! So don't tell me that you know what's best, because you don't!" There was an awkward silence after that.

"I want you both to be evaluated by Huang, then go home, take a few weeks off," Cragen said quietly. Olivia and Elliot nodded, not daring to argue back.

"You're dismissed," Cragen said. The two exited the office with their heads hung low in shame. They both could feel the stares of other detectives and officers burning into their souls, but they didn't have the energy or the pride to snap at them to mind their own business.

Huang was seated across from Elliot in the interrogation room where it was quiet and peaceful, although slightly uncomfortable.

"Elliot, what did you feel after you realized that Lopez had shot the little girl and the man?," Huang asked, watching Elliot's body language. He fidgeted uneasily and clenched his fists making his knuckles turn white.

"I don't know...," Elliot said thinking of something that would satisfy Huang, "anger, I guess. I knew we had screwed up and this was our fault, but it just didn't seem real. It was like I was watching a scary movie or something." Huang nodded and scribbled something down.

"Where was that anger directed?," Huang asked.

"Myself," Elliot said.

"Not at Olivia?" Elliot shook his head.

"I was the one who left. I guess I feel like I should be the one with more responsibility because I just left...do you know what I mean?," Elliot asked as he tried to explain himself. Huang nodded.

"I think I do understand, Elliot. You're putting more pressure on yourself because you feel guilty about leaving the precinct," Huang said and Elliot nodded and sighed.

"Yeah...," Elliot responded, not wanting to talk anymore. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball in his apartment and sleep. Sleep through everything and just wallow in guilt for the rest of his life like Lopez wanted him to.

"I just...I just don't know how to handle this. When I shot Jenna I ran away from everything back to my family. Now I have nowhere to run...Kathy's gone, the kids are grown up except for Eli, but Kathy has custody of him. I screwed up before and I don't want to make that same mistake again," Elliot said laying his head in his hands. "I let my family, here, down. I left without even saying goodbye or giving an explanation. I was so selfish and I just don't want to do that again."

Huang saw the inner turmoil at work within Elliot and knew that it was killing him to be back at a place where he had previously run away from.

"Everyday when I pass that spot where I shot her, where she died...I just wonder why I even bothered to come back, but then I remember I owe these people something. I have to pay the price for screwing them over," Elliot said his eyes beginning to water.

"Elliot," Huang said in a smooth, comforting voice, "no one expects you to ever get over what happened with Jenna or with Ricardo. The fact that you're strong enough to realize your mistakes is good, but if you don't feel comfortable back here you might want to think about transferring." Elliot shook his head quickly and looked at him while trying to mentally rid the tears that were slowly falling down his face.

"I'm not running away from my problems like I did before," He said in a firm voice, "I'm staying. I have to."

Olivia walked out of the interrogation room, her eyes red and slightly blood shot. Elliot was seated at his desk thinking over his conversation with Huang wondering if he would recommend Elliot being transferred. By the looks of Olivia's appearance, he wouldn't be the only one.

Olivia glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was a little after three o'clock in the morning. The bullpen was practically empty besides Elliot, Nick, and Amanda. Liv's eyes were heavy and swollen from crying as much as she tried to hold back tears. Sure, she'd seen people die before, but something about this time was especially different and she was still trying to figure it out.

"Liv," Elliot said in a small voice, "do you need a ride home?" Olivia looked at him and closed her eyes as she shook her head slowly. She was exhausted after everything that had happened and practically breaking down in front of Huang wasn't making her life any better.

She took her jacket off the back of her chair and put in on knowing that it was going to be freezing as hell outside.

"Olivia," Elliot said looking at her with concern.

"Yeah?," She answered not sure what he wanted now. She was angry, upset, and scared...the last thing she wanted was for Elliot to say something to set her off again.

"Please let me take you home." They stared at each other for a good, long time.

Ten minutes later they nestled in Elliot's grey sedan, driving in the direction of Olivia's apartment. Both of them were silent; reflecting on their own guilt, trying to decide on where to take life from here. Neither of them had come up with any conclusions.

Olivia picked at her thumbnail and thought about the little girl, the terrorized look on her face as the man raped her. She wondered if the police would ever be able to identify her as she was obviously from a foreign country from a home where no one would miss her or notice her absence. If they'd waited for backup maybe, just maybe that girl would be alive and breathing. Yes, she would be scarred for life, but she would still have a significant chance of living the rest of her life normally without the abuse she suffered in her early childhood. She wondered what life would've actually been like for her. The girl might've gotten married, had kids of her own, grown stronger as the days went by that she wasn't in the custody of some sick freak.

"Olivia," Elliot's voice rang out in the car as they stopped at a red light. Her head turned towards him and she tried to hide the tears that were filling up her eyes once more. He noticed though, he always would. He knew her way to well.

"What, El?," She sniffled wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

"I'm sorry," He murmured.

"El, it takes two to tango," She said in a low voice.

"I meant about leaving," He said looking at her with his sapphire blue eyes, "I left you alone and I'm so sorry. I was a selfish bastard and, I just can't imagine what it was like for you." Olivia smiled weakly and took his hand in hers.

"It's in the past, Elliot...I'm over it," She said.

"What if I'm not?," He asked. Before Olivia could respond they heard an angry driver behind them curse in rage since the light had turned green some time ago. They began driving again and minutes later in silence they pulled up to Olivia's apartment. Elliot shut off the engine and turned to Olivia.

"Thanks for the ride," She whispered in a shaky voice as she swung open the door in the chilly November air.

"Can I walk you up?" Olivia gave him a look that he'd gotten many times when he got over protective.

"Com'on please," Elliot begged, cracking the first smile he had all night, "It'll make me feel better that you're safe."

"Fine...pussy...," She muttered with a smirk. They walked up to her apartment on the third floor of the building.

"Thanks, El," She turned around to face him as they approached the green door.

"Liv," He said his face turning pasty white.

"What, now you're gonna tell me you wanna sleep over?," Olivia asked playfully. Elliot shook his head.

"Liv seriously." He pointed behind her to the door. She saw a white note pinned on the door with neat cursive writing on it. Olivia walked over to it and without touching it, read it.

Dear Detective Benson,

Congratulations on killing one of the powerful men in the world, but we must warn you that you won't get off on your actions unharmed. We are guaranteed to keep you under our scope until the day you die which will be sooner than you expect. If you show this to anyone, you will face even bigger consequences. I must remind you that we have nothing to loose now, so don't think we're bluffing.

Love Always,

E.X.

"El...," Olivia breathed, her eyes wide with fright and horror. Elliot took her arm and tugged back down the hallway.

"I think we might have to rethink this whole witness protection thing," He muttered.