Childishly, Kakashi slipped some items that weren't on their grocery list into the shopping cart without Iruka noticing. Iruka looked down to see an abnormally large ginger root, a tub of Crisco and a tiny bottle with a scull & crossbones drawn on it labeled pure capsaicin extract.

"What the hell, Kakashi? Do I have to watch you every minute? This isn't what I sent you to get." He furrowed his brow with confusion. Then, before he realized that he was probably better off ignorant he asked, "Why do you need this stuff?"

"Figging and," he formed his hand into a beak and tapped Iruka's shoulder, "fisting, obviously. And this is hot sauce so strong it burns. You can punish me with it when I say dirty things like-"

Iruka almost broke his ankle trying to push the cart aside in time to throw his hand over Kakashi's mouth. Luckily he was able to protect all of the bystanders from whatever deplorable filth was surely pouring over Kakashi's tongue.

"Absolutely not. Put it back."

Kakashi didn't meet Iruka's eyes. But, against his palm Iruka could feel him pouting his lips. He fluttered his eyelashes in a way that made him look entirely too innocent. Iruka broke.

"One. You can keep one of them."

Kakashi kept the tiny bottle with the scull and crossbones.