pshhh i was going to update sooner but the day I started writing my grandmother passed away...its really sad so this one is like wicked short nd dont be mad but first for ppl to review get the next chapter dedicated to them...Do we have an accord? agreed keep in mind bella is emo-goth-punk-rocker chick so yahhh

cant resist,

vampxpirate

September 13th…officially the worst day of my life. Why you ask? Because I was born… Ugh 19 years. I've been alive 19 fuckin years without killing myself oh God, if there is one I am so ticked. Life is just a waste of my time. I hate birthdays….why would anyone want to celebrate the day I was born? I take it as an insult.

A crushing blow to my heart made me remember that it was only last year Edward left because of my birthday. He left me….All because I was alive!

"why?" I asked in a low whisper, " I should be with him….loving him…..dead…..a vampire…."

Slowly but surely a warm tear made its way down my face dropping onto the floor below me. He probably thought he left me for my safety…..even though he said he didn't want me…. I am far from safe.

Charlie and Renee are the only reasons I am still here. Although I've tried before I can't hurt them. Another tear rolled down my face onto my carved up left wrist. I couldn't hold back a new wave of tears as I read what exactly I had written on my arms.

Alice

Emmett

Esme

Carlisle

Jasper

Rosalie

-EDWARD-

How I miss them all…Time to get up I guess wanna see Charlie before he goes to the station. I walked to my closet picking up a pair of black Tripp pants, an Against Me! Tee, my Jack Skellington Sweatshirt, and my combat boots.

After I was done getting ready I walked into the bathroom preparing the essentials. After brushing my teeth I threw my long hair into a messy bun with my side bangs over my right eye. I took out my black eyeliner and eyeshadow and got to work on my eyes…

Just as I finished I heard Charlie yell, " Bells Renee's on the phone!"

Oh Charlie….."Got it!" I yelled back as I picked up the cordless phone.

Phone convo: (Renee) (Bella)



"Mom?"

"Bella Babii!"

"Hey mom…."Awkward? I think so…

"Happy Birthday! Hunnie Bunnie!

"Thanks mom…uh listen I have to go cuz Charlie needs me call you later…"

"Love u Bellie!"

"Bye mom…"

Dial Tone

Once again another awkward phone call with Renee. As I put the phone down I turned around to see Charlie with a samall cake and a candle lit singing me 'Happy Birthday'.

"Aw thanks Ch-Dad, but you didn't have to—" He cut me off.

"OH whatever I did so eat it while I'm at the station!" He came over to me placing a kiss on my forehead then walking to the front door.

"Have fun playing cards Dad!" He let out a chuckle before closing the door and walking over to his cruiser. I couldn't help but think ' Can't live with 'im can't live without'im…'

I turned to my cake with the still lit candle.

"Okay wish time" I said rubbing my hands together . "Hmm I got it!!I wish I could live in Port Royal, when Captain Jack Sparrow sailed the Seven seas. Be Best friends with Elizabeth and William Turner, and live as a pirate!" I said utterly serious as I blew out the candle.

Well If I can't be a vampire, a pirates life for me! I mentally giggled at my pun. Although suddenly I felt drowsy…I trudged to my bedroom plopping onto my bed. "Uh great way to start a birthday" I remarked sarcastically, before my eyes closed.

Just as my eyes shut I heard myself sing, "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A pirates life for me….."

any reviews welcome i luvv ya'll