Summary: A sequel to Silent Sacrifice S/G ending. Sephiroth and Genesis travel to distant places, meet their fates and fight for their humanity.
Disclaimer: I own nothing or no one.
Pairings: Sephiroth/Genesis.
Read and enjoy!
Chapter II.
Better late than never.
Sephiroth didn't sleep at all that night. Genesis eventually surrendered to slumber, fiery azure eyes closing, shaking body going still in his arms. But Sephiroth couldn't. He was looking down at his lover's pale refined features, feeling his head against his bare chest and soft auburn hair touching his skin.
He was never good at comforting anyone. It felt awkward. His lover looked so vulnerable and fragile, like a porcelain doll. Sephiroth couldn't force himself to touch him even gently. It seemed if he did, Genesis would just break into myriads of shimmering fragments.
Genesis Rhapsodos. A fallen angel.
Gust of wind got up through the entrance hole, disheveling their hair, silver locks falling onto Genesis' forehead.
Sephiroth was always careful when it came to revealing his own feelings, his own past, and his own weaknesses. He always kept a part of his soul to himself, knowing that Genesis did so as well. It was a tacit consent they stuck to, it was freedom they both allowed for each other.
He learned to surrender; he even allowed strong emotions overtake him, but this…
His soul never yields. Or so he always thought.
His eyes returned to Genesis. His chest rose and fell each movement in time with faint breathing. He was peaceful again, nightmares sparing him for the rest of this night.
Fallen… fallen… fallen…
Perhaps he had to be the first one to make such sacrifice; perhaps it was time to share some parts of him he never thought of sharing with anyone. To certain extend… perhaps…
Sephiroth simply didn't know...
The city was huge. It was sprawled on two hills and cut by the river right in the middle. From above it looked like a motley coverlet, spread on the grass.
As they stood facing it the city changed into a picturesque view, bathing in bright sunshine.
They found it easily, penetrating its defenses, unseen, unnoticed. Since last night neither of them spoke about Genesis' nightmare. His lover had no desire to share anything else, and Sephiroth felt it was not his right to intrude. If Genesis wanted he'd speak. And certainly this was not the time to dwell on their pasts. It was a new life, new beginning. Sephiroth had no idea what they were going to do. Genesis didn't either.
And for what it was worth, it didn't matter. They'll learn the language; they'll intrude into its life and would be gone before long.
As any other place they've been to, they didn't belong here.
But Sephiroth was still reluctant to accept the thought that they belonged nowhere. He would look for his home for as long as need be and no matter what Genesis was going to say.
The streets of city with the name they yet had to find out were crowded. Men and women in strange clothing were bustling about, pathways were wide and clean and fresh air smelled pleasantly.
To Sephiroth's surprise the language resembled their own, very much actually. Usually it would take time to learn the new one. It was easier for Sephiroth since his memory was photographic. It turned out to be harder for Genesis; he even remembered a couple of awkward situations his lover got himself into. One of them involved calling swords broomsticks thus ruining quite inspiring speech he was giving.
He couldn't help but smile at the memory.
"So what is your first impression?" he heard Genesis asking as they chose the narrow street at random.
"I would say that the last war occurred here a long time ago. Their defenses…"
His redheaded lover quietly laughed, interrupting.
"Professional opinion comes before personal. As always."
Sephiroth frowned, silver eyebrows knitting into thin line.
"Not different from any other city we have been to, if you so wish. Looks like a remote place on Gaia to me."
Genesis sighed.
"I can't disagree."
Sephiroth looked around. Their battle attire stood out. Here and there he would catch glimpses of people staring, and children pointing their fingers to them. He mentioned it to Genesis, but his lover simply shrugged. He wore his slightly disdainful expression; it always crept onto his lover's face when he wasn't impressed.
And so they went further and further. Sephiroth was now glancing round from time to time only. He was thinking. To the people here he was no perfect general, he was no fallen hero. He was nothing, another silhouette in the crowd. And he could not help but feel that it satisfied him; no one expected certain things of him, no one looked up to him and certainly no one could forsake him should he fail.
Only… only something wasn't right. Something he yet had to think about, a lot.
Finally they came to stand by what looked like an inn. Genesis noticed it and silently gestured to the three-storey building. Sephiroth certainly had no objections. They made their way across the street to the entrance door.
A slender dark-haired woman from the crowd shot a glance at Genesis sparkles of desire dancing in her black eyes, her smile a shameless suggestion. It didn't escape Sephiroth and his eyes immediately fixed on his lover's face. It showed nothing; he seemed to be absorbed in thought and didn't even notice her.
"How many lovers did you have?" Sephiroth asked, following the dark-haired woman with his eyes until she disappeared in the crowd.
Genesis smirked at this unexpected question, stopping by the entrance door.
"Lots." His smirk turned into a sneer. "I hope you don't believe I was that patient. Or is it jealousy I always thought you were incapable of feeling?"
Sephiroth hemmed with fastidious note.
"Call it curiosity."
Genesis tilted his head, his silver earring sparkling among the auburn.
"Lots." He repeated curtly. "My last was a love-sick third who became my copy shortly afterwards." Silver eyebrows arched a bit defiantly. Genesis felt that. "Oh, I know it very well you never particularly cared about little pleasures life could offer, but… we are different. I bet I even was the first one to kiss you."
Unexpected pain rose in his chest at those words.
"And what did you expect of me?" Sephiroth's voice grew colder, emerald eyes turning into glowing whirlpools. He simply ignored Genesis' attempt to interrupt him. "I was injected with mako when I was barely one year old. I knew pain before I learned how to speak, how to walk, how to handle my first sword. And pain taught me to need no one; it taught me to feel nothing. I took my first life long before I shared my first kiss. I learned to deal with enemies long before I knew what friendship meant." His voice was as a stream of icy cold water by now. "Such was the price for the fame I was bestowed with."
When he finished what seemed to be the longest confession he ever dared to voice out silence ensued. He didn't wish to look at his lover lifting his chin and following the pattern of sliding clouds above. He kept his expression as dispassionate as possible.
It felt like drawing a steel rod out of his flesh. It felt like taking off his clothes in front of a crowd. It…
It felt so until Genesis moved closer, gently running his thumb along the back of his palm.
His head jerked eyes riveting on his lover's face. Genesis wasn't sneering, he wasn't even smiling. If he said something, at least a word, Sephiroth knew he would find it hard to forgive him. But his lover just looked at him, sparks of sunlight dancing in azure depths, somehow feeling it was the only consolation he'd ever need.
Sephiroth knew they were drawing attention. After all they were standing in the busy street, touching each other too explicitly for mere friends. With the tail of his eyes he caught a glimpse of people whispering to one another. He let go of Genesis' hand and took a step back.
The redhead gave him another intent look before suddenly laughing, quietly.
"Gaia, I've just realized something." His face was showing clear signs of surprise as if he was asking himself why this thought never occurred to him before. Sephiroth's eyebrows arched; he was grateful his lover wasn't going to continue that conversation. "You have never been on a date, haven't you?"
Amusement slowly crept onto Sephiroth's face.
"Don't you think it's a little too late for that?"
Genesis shook his head, auburn hair playing vivid colors in sunshine. A way too familiar playful smile touched his sensual lips.
"Better late than never."
… Sephiroth felt rising curiosity. It was a state he rarely found himself in. He had none of it even when Zack invited him to that café at Costa-del-Sol although it was not his habit to go out with someone often. He'd done it with both Genesis and Angeal occasionally, but all of it was on friendly terms.
Now he didn't know what to expect of Genesis. His lover was gifted with a dramatic, strikingly vivid imagination and a refined taste. Something simple would not satisfy him. It had to be grandiose.
Leaving him in the inn Genesis took off somewhere. His friend even contrived to persuade him to wait in the room for his return. And so leaning against the headboard of a huge bed and absently flipping through pages of an old book Sephiroth fought the rising feeling that distracted his thoughts, thus having trouble focusing on the content of a piece he was reading…
Shifting, he finally put the book aside and gently hauled his hair from underneath his back, letting it cascade freely over the coverlet. Sephiroth's imagination couldn't supply him with decent ideas for he knew he'd fail to guess anyway.
Closing his eyes he tried to banish the persistent thought, but soon realized he failed again. He got up, stretching, and came to stand by the tall window. He let his gaze slide along a thin line of green trees just by the entrance to the inn and turned his eyes on the street full of people in a hurry. They've been to many places, to many cities, like Midgar, like the one right before his eyes; and though the shell changed, people never did.
This city was a lot different from Midgar he spent most of his days at. It looked like one huge park to him: too many trees, too many flowers. Sephiroth could certainly grow to enjoy it but the part of him that would always remain the perfect General told of nothing but its weaknesses.
The door to their room opened and Genesis' frame slipped inside. Sephiroth didn't need to turn around to know it was his lover. He learned to distinguish the sound of his steps from any other sound in the world. His mako enhanced hearing – if he concentrated enough – could make out such clear details as a shift of weight from heel to toes as his lover strode gracefully and confidently through the room to where he stood.
Sephiroth couldn't suppress a shiver when Genesis' strong palm settled on his bare shoulder.
"Aren't you curious?" A low slightly mocking whisper.
Sephiroth was, but his lover didn't need to know. He shrugged with as much indifference as he could muster considering the current state he was in and all too aware of Genesis' palms on his shoulders, urging him to turn around.
He obeyed. On the dark green coverlet of the bed lay two black pairs of shirts and pants, strange in fashion. Both shirts were loose with wide sleeves and high collars.
"That's what you are going to wear." Genesis' voice rang from behind.
Sephiroth hemmed, folding his arms.
"And where are we going tonight?"
"To watch the ballet." Genesis moved away to take his leather coat off. Sleeveless turtleneck followed. Sephiroth watched as the redhead swiftly undid his leather pants.
"Stop staring and change, Sephy," Genesis laughed with an obvious mocking note. "The show starts in half an hour."
He shook his head and picked up the strange attire. To avoid unnecessary temptations he decided to change in the narrow bathroom. Without even taking the trouble to look at his reflection in the small mirror after he was done Sephiroth stepped back into the room.
Genesis stood in the doorway, waiting, his lips curling into a soft smile at the sight of him.
"You know, you look gorgeous," redhead's voice rang genuine.
Sephiroth returned the smile.
"And you look… different." He watched Genesis' face and sparks of merriment lit up in emerald depths.
"I expected nothing else." His lover answered with a soft snort.
He picked up two tickets from the nightstand and pocketed them. After that Genesis gracefully turned around to face him again.
"Shall we?" Azure eyes looked directly into his own as his lover extended an arm, offering Sephiroth his palm.
He looked at it with a share of uncertainty before finally placing his fingers on top. Smiling, Genesis squeezed them gently and guided him to the door. The solemnity of the whole act almost made Sephiroth laugh.
It was late outside; the sky darkened and all lights along the street were lit. Cool strong breeze threw a handful of dry leaves into their faces. Sephiroth absently reached to keep his hair from scattering in every direction.
They turned to the wide crowded street, decorated in garlands of glowing lights. People in similar clothing passed them, chattering with excitement on a language that resembled their native. Sephiroth let go of Genesis' hand in order not to attract too much unwanted attention. Traveling from one world to another he learned that their relationship was considered strange, unnatural, and wrong at times. It never bothered him. He thought himself strong enough to set his own rules.
The road went uphill, the scenery changing. Grand fancy looking houses rose on both sides, surrounded by low metallic fences. It reminded him of President Shin-Ra summer residence. He chuckled at the thought and Genesis' eyes immediately riveted on him.
"Since we are so to speak on a date," his voice had a didactic touch to it, "I think an explanation will not hurt. First date is about getting to know and impressing each other."
Sephiroth smirked, meeting his gaze.
"I think I'll pass. I already know more than enough about you."
Genesis chuckled with a teasing half-smile.
"Now you ruined it."
Sephiroth lifted his chin, turning aside and letting his gaze slide along the mansions. Perhaps they were of some architectural value, but he couldn't say for sure. Sightseeing wasn't the pastime he could indulge himself during his years in Shin-Ra. Even in Wutai he barely had spare time for anything besides war.
"I hope I didn't ruin it to a point when you can't fix it."
Genesis' fingers brushed his hand, a touch so faint even he almost missed it.
"Fortunately," he whispered in a low voice, "there is nothing you can't fix on your own… later."
That voice… it never stopped to amaze Sephiroth what sensations Genesis' voice could stir in him.
"Is this how all first dates end?"
They've just passed the huge group of people gathered around something neither of them could make out so dense the crowd was. Perhaps it was one of those street jesters; he never saw any in Midgar, but of all places he's been to Midgar turned out to be one of the ugliest and most unwelcome.
"I don't know about all," Genesis admitted honestly, "but mine always did."
A mocking smile snaked Sephiroth's lips as he turned to face his lover again so that he could see it.
"Then I'll have to make sure this one becomes an exclusion."
Genesis accepted the challenge with eagerness.
"Hm… and I'll make sure you regret every word you have just said."
Ardent azure eyes flashed in approaching darkness. Sephiroth just shook his head, smiling.
… The theater Genesis took him to turned out to be a gorgeous building with four columns of white marble in front supporting an elaborately designed and ornamented roof. It stood in the middle of the square by the huge fountain shaped as a three-headed beast Sephiroth didn't recognize. Water was flowing from each of the three mouths. Mingling with the crowd of men and women, they approached the marble staircase and ascended.
"Gentlemen, your tickets," polite woman's voice interrupted Sephiroth's contemplation.
Genesis extended them with a smile and the blonde returned it quite eagerly. Sephiroth smirked to himself: there was a part of Genesis that will never change.
"Welcome to the Autumn Dance premiere," she motioned inside and returned the tickets. Sephiroth walked through huge glass door, his lover following right behind.
"I certainly am glad this is not Loveless again," Sephiroth always found it hard to resist mocking Genesis.
A shrug and a sniff was an answer.
Their seats were in the first row on a balcony. Sephiroth occupied his, relaxing in a comfortable chair of red velvet at once. Genesis followed his example and neither of then spoke until the ballet itself began.
At first it didn't impress him so more than he watched the stage he was contemplating Genesis. From the tail of his eyes he saw how his expression slowly changed from rather indifferent to dreamy, how his eyes got a faraway look, how his long fingers began to move in time with music.
But then the dance itself gripped his attention utterly. First it was the music. Rising from the low trembling depths to high, almost playful trills, changing from slow wistful longing to fast lively and blithe rhythm, it overwhelmed, it exalted and dispirited, it teased, it promised, it misguided. Feelings it stirred in him were unfamiliar, confusing even. Those emotions were strong but so very different from passion.
His gaze shifted to dancers and soon enough he was mesmerized by their liquid-like graceful movements. The dance was a struggle not less passionate than the fight to the very death. They looked like puppets to him, obedient playthings, moving in time with the music that bent them to its will. Dozens of white frames and among them one in scarlet, as a drop of blood on snow.
Subconsciously he drew forward watching every alteration on the stage.
It intoxicated him. It tantalized him. It felt as a teasing touch to his sharpened senses; as a fickle flutter of shadows in the corner of his eyes, so fleeting, so wavering.
It felt…
The icy walls of his cage cracking, collapsing…
A precarious sensation of finding something missing…
It felt… it felt…
Like…
Unable to find a suitable explanation to how he felt Sephiroth abruptly rose to his feet and left the balcony. His heart was pounding so loudly the thought it could be heard despite the triumphant crescendo. Once in the dark corridor he leaned on the wall hiding his face in his palms.
What did it feel like?
He knew no answer.
Immersed in his attempts to comprehend his new emotions Sephiroth missed the moment when Genesis slipped out of the door and joined him. His hands gently removed his palms so that their eyes could meet.
"You felt it, didn't you?" He whispered with passion, his long fingers sliding through shimmering silver hair that shrouded Sephiroth's frame, stopping right where his heart was violently throbbing. Sephiroth forced himself to nod. "The beauty of this world. The reverse side to monstrosity."
Suddenly the redhead took a step back.
"No matter what I've done or what I am about to do this part of me will always be alive," Genesis lips barely moved, mouthing each word.
Darkness. Azure flash of mako enhanced eyes.
And a muffled lamentable cry of a violin behind the closed doors.
Sephiroth hung his head. What should… could he say?
Genesis spared him of seeking an answer by suddenly asking another question.
"Those words you spoke at mako reactor… Did you mean them?"
Sephiroth frowned, remembering…
A sigh escaped his lips. Still holding his face averted, he replied, unable to lie or even tell the half-truth so unnerved he felt by the inner turmoil the dance and Genesis' words stirred in him.
"I did and I didn't. At that time I thought love was all about acceptance and certainly I could have accepted you even… even with the wing. But love is so much more I yet had to learn." His voice was barely a whisper now. Leaning on the wall as if it was his only protection, he resumed speaking, ready to raise his shields at once upon hearing a venomous response from Genesis' lips. "You realize I still don't know what it is, don't you?"
Sephiroth hoped it didn't sound too weak, because it was the vulnerable part of him. Frozen inside as a block of ice, strained as a stretched string, he waited until a soft laugh rang in utter silence, melodic as a chime of little bells.
"Certainly." Sephiroth felt Genesis' body move closer, strong arm wrap around his neck and another one plunge into the silver waterfall. "I always found your ambivalent innocence… arousing."
Genesis' voice was low, slightly hoarse… suggestive.
"Here? Now?" Sephiroth breathed out as skilled fingers gently slid along the crook of his neck, tucking loose silver strands behind his ear.
"Are you ashamed, Sephiroth?"
"I don't…"
Genesis interrupted him by mouthing his lips, his lover's lithe body firmly pressing his own to the wall. Whatever words he was going to say sank in the fervent stream that disembogued into his body as Genesis' tongue joined his in a dance not less passionate than the one they have just seen…
Lights cut through his eyes as white-hot flashes; his eyelids closed, instinctively shielding him from the source of undesired pain. Genesis hugged him even tighter, pushing him into the wall with even more force and determinations.
Muffled voices filled his ears, desultory sounds echoing through his passion hazed mind. Sephiroth felt they stared, but it barely registered in his thoughts for Genesis lips slid, kissing the sensitive spot between the jaw line and earlobe.
His head rested against the wall, shameless moan escaping his parted lips.
Sephiroth didn't care.
It felt like defying the whole world.
It felt like balancing on the tightrope.
It felt like… freedom.
What was freedom?
… Genesis was laughing. Perhaps Sephiroth has never heard him laugh as joyously. Leaning on the edge of the fountain, arms folded and legs crossed, he was quietly watching his lover's emotional outburst. Cold wind was playing with his silver hair, raising it as a curtain all around him.
"Have you seen their faces?" Genesis' voice was full of disdainful mockery as he struggled to speak.
A wan smile touched the edges of Sephiroth's lips. The residue of emotions was still coursing through thoughts and more mundane parts of him, his heartbeat heretofore faster than usual.
"I believe that was too much of a public display."
Genesis bended over the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into silvery streamlets of water.
"I never thought you could be ashamed of the only lover you have ever had."
"I am not," he shrugged. "I just don't understand the necessity of… such actions."
A wry smile on sensual lips.
"There was none. I merely followed my feelings."
Sephiroth hung his head.
"There was something else. And," he added with resolve, "don't tell me I am wrong."
The redhead sighed, watching the flow of water from the mouth of a beast.
"Still clueless. I wonder if it can be changed." He cupped his hands filling them. "This was my way of saying I am not going to be sharing you with anyone."
Sephiroth's head jerked, emerald eyes flashing, dangerously.
"In turn I wish to believe you had no other lovers since Nebelheim."
"Finally you admitted you could feel… jealousy," Genesis chuckled with satisfaction.
But Sephiroth just smirked, shaking his head.
"Call it… precaution."
Genesis' hands rose and fell, as if in dismay, clear droplets running down his long fingers and landing at his feet. He took a step towards Sephiroth with a regal toss of his head that raised auburn hair all over his face, azure flashing somewhere in between. A smug smile curved the edges of his feminine lips, barely seen among thick tresses.
He could watch these displays for hours. But his lover didn't let him.
"So… did you like your first date?" Genesis joined their hands. Sephiroth nodded. "And are you up to the challenge or ready to give in?"
His lover pulled him away from the fountain, but before it disappeared from his view Sephiroth glanced over his shoulder.
Two leaves were floating on the surface of fretted water. Wind blew, whirling them and they obeyed, unable to withstand against it. They reminded him of something, someone… only he couldn't quite comprehend what it was…