I'm Just A Human

A/N: Okay, so just in case you get confused, James and Lily are alive in this. The Order defeated Voldemort back before he could destroy them, so the Potter's are all well and alive, and Peter was sent to Azkaban for conspiring with the Death Eaters.

Tonks is 19, but I made Remus and the Marauders in their... Mid-twenties, maybe. Around there. I know the difference is more than that, but I altered it slightly for the sake of my story, I hope you guys don't mind too much.

So yeah, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Two:

Keys jingled from my pocket as I locked up. The cold air pierced my skin, my fingers through my fingerless gloves, the wholes in my jeans, my scarfless neck. It was bitter out and I was unprepared, but I didn't mind the snow as much as others; watching it glisten in the starlight, buring bright and white against the contrasting dark sky. I shoved my fists in the pockets of my worn out, brown leather coat, and I started down the street towards my flat, my breath clearly viseable in the air.

My eyes always tended to advert away from the moon, be it at any stage in it's cycle. Was it wrong that the only type of moon I wanted to see, was the moon that changed me to what I hated, to what I had been since I was four years young for something I hadn't even done. The full moon had me curious, but I never saw it, never remembered what it looked like- The real thing at least. Drawings, paintings, discriptions were all nothing to the real thing that I only saw with the eyes of the beast, never properly.

A shaky cough escaped my chapped lips and my stomach grumbled. This job I had didn't only pay me with the money I so desperately needed, but with the food I needed as well. I was normally starved, so they fed me. I didn't even care about the quality of the food in the dingy little performance area, only that they gave me enough that I survived, that I was actually to the brink of being full, at least once a day.

During the day, when I wasn't at the club performing or cleaning, I was privately tutoring Muggle children in English lessons. No matter how many jobs I had, it was still just barely enough to scrape the rent every month, all low-paying jobs obviously. But I survived, somehow, and my best mate Sirius tended to pride himself in the fact that I was surviving on his sake. Obviously, the bloke was unaware that the money he kept lying around the flat, or the money he deducted from my half of the rent, went back to him ultimately in the end. I was completely capeable of doing things for myself.

I unlocked the door to the apartment building, then started up the spiral steps to the top floor. It was a large apartment, two small bedrooms, a bathroom, and a large living space clattered with sofas and the kitchen and dining areas. Sirius, having grown up with all things lavish up until the age of sixteen, made sure we didn't live like complete deadbeats and had our apartment classed up, claiming he took it from his mum's place if I'd ask. I never did ask though.

On one of the plush sofas, curled up under a knitted blanket, rested a large, shaggy black dog, sound asleep. I looked him over, wishing I could so easily fall into the slumber he rested in, and just stay asleep for however long I wished, undisturbed by nightmares, my thoughts, my being... Just sleep. Sleep.

I fell into one of the recliners on the right side of the sofa, my keys jingling and dropping onto the coffee table, the dog jerking awake slightly. He looked up at me, eyes lidded, but playful and wild just as they always were. And there sat my best mate, seconds late, replacing the sleeping dog under the knit covers, rubbing his eyes and stretching out as the blanket fell over his bare chest.

"Oi, Mooney," he grumbled, practically inaudible. "What's the time?"

"Around midnight."

"Just getting in?"

I nodded, sinking into the comfort of the chair, pulling the lever to have the footrest pop out and the chair to recline back. I closed my eyes as Sirius yawned, closing those grey eyes of his, then most-likely ruffling that black, messy hair. He always thought himself unpredictable, but I found him so easy to figure out, it was almost scary how well I could tell what he was doing behind my back. I figured him out quite quickly when we were attending school together.

"S'like I'm living alone here." He chuckled softly, falling back onto the sofa, probably curling up around the arm. "I'm driving myself insane."

"Now you know how the rest of us feel around you."

I grinned slightly, peeking out under my eyelids to see him grinning back, then pull a look of mock offense. I rolled my eyes, leaning forward to pat his hand, then pulled the blanket from him, wrapping it around myself.

"Oi!" He grabbed the spare from the ontop of the sofa, pulling it around his exposed body, glaring at me."I know you love my body and all, Mooney, but damn it's freezing!"

"Just trying to preserve money."

I mumbled a tad sheepishly at his comment. It was quite cold around her, but I turned the heat down. Our bills were high enough as it was, and I could barely afford what I did. I knew Sirius would object and just try and pay for it himself, always being quite wealthy, reigning from a wealthy family, but I couldn't let him do that. Perhaps I was prideful. Of what?- I wasn't sure. But I couldn't let him do everything for me. I was a big boy now too.

He sighed. "You know I can get it."

"I know."

Then he fell silent, if I didn't know any better I would've thought the loud mouth fell back asleep. But he just sat there, staring at the off-white walls, then stretched and looked over at me, pulling a lazy smile.

"My cousin's coming to stay for a while."

"You've mentioned this."

"I know she's a tad younger, but you two could really hi-"

"No."

He sort of pouted, like you'd expect from a child, like little Harry used to do. But I shook my head. He knew what I was like, what I was, and he very well knew that I refused to get involved with someone because of it. I'd end up hurting them, and if she were to have a child.. Well I couldn't bear with knowing I created a monster, just as Greyback had done to me, but... Worse.

"You know why I can't."

"I know you're an arse."

I raised a brow and he folded his arms. Shaking my head, I stood from my recliner and threw the blanket back over Sirius's body, then walked towards my room.

"G'night, Padfoot."