(A/N) Here's another chapter! I changed the rating to T because I changed my mind so there isn't going to be any M material. It might change back to M if I'm in the mood, or if you demand more explicit content. If anything, its high T, there will be small sexual content, and a couple places with foul language, so count that as a warning. And I'm not a male or Cloud so I couldn't get some mannerisms down, but I think I did a pretty good job :3 click the green review button and tell me what you think! This chapter is longer than the other. Enjoy!
A big thank you to johncold7, mom calling, Nutt Man 117, vLuna, and Cara for giving me lovely reviews, its people like you guys that make me update :D
This Changes Everything - Chapter 2 -
'Cloud's POV'
It was late. Late enough that the moon was high above me. I sighed 'cause I know that Tifa was probably awake, waiting for me. I felt bad, Tifa didn't have to wait for me, but she did. I wish that she would stop worrying about me. Whenever I stayed out late she would always be waiting up. I was cutting into her sleeping time. I could get home earlier but that was not an option, I would only be reminded of my failures, my failure of not protecting Denzel. The kid looks up to me like I'm a hero, what would happen if he knew his 'hero' couldn't save him. I don't know why, I can't do anything right. I almost destroyed the planet by giving Sephiroth the Black Materia, and I can't help anybody. I let both my best friend and the last Ancient die.
I pulled in the garage and swung one of my legs around Fenrir. I took my goggles off my head and stuck them on the handle bars, watching them dangle there for a minute. I walked out of the garage and around the building so I was at the front entrance and I hesitated. I tried to wipe the dirt off my clothes, but the effort seemed futile. I took a deep breath before entering the building. I had a feeling I might suffer Tifa's wrath, she didn't yell or cry or anything like that, its just that she had this look about her that instantly made me uncomfortable. She would cross her arms, as I would be explaining, cock her head and her eyebrows would rise slightly, as if daring my alibi. And it scared me shitless 'cause I knew she would be able to tell if I was lying.
Tifa Lockhart, my best friend, the closest one from my childhood that lived after Sephiroth burned down our home town. I never really talked to her when we were younger, I was too shy, and she always hung out with the boys that made fun of me. She never made fun of me, actually whenever our paths crossed she never said a mean thing. Sometimes I would watch her from my bedroom window as she played in her back yard, and I would watch with awe, my eyes never leaving from her. Her beauty was riveting. Sometimes she would spot me, and I would look away quickly, my face would be burning, and I would pretend I was looking at something else. But she wouldn't glare at me, wouldn't yell at me, she would just wave with a smile on her face, and I would wish that she would ask me if I wanted to play. Even when I heard her laugh would the other kids, I would think that it was stupid, but what I really wanted was to be the one laughing with her.
Of course, the feelings faded, I now felt we were living together platonically. People had their theories of our relationship, but they were wrong, I have never slept with Tifa. We slept in the same bed rarely during our AVALANCHE days but we never slept together. We've never even kissed. Occasionally she would kiss me on the cheek but it was nothing more than a friendly peck, and she would only do it on special occasions, like her birthday or any holiday when I would buy her something. Patrons at the bar would often ask about our relationship but I would set them straight immediately. If only they new about the one I was truly in love with.
I was at Aerith's church again. But for some reason when I go there, it seems more like home than the 7th Heaven does. It feels like Aerith is there with me while I'm there. I imagine her light brown hair, lean face, pink modest long dress, and to top it off the pink ribbon in her hair. Her smile made me weak in the knees; it was a true smile, one that she never had to fake. She was a year older than me, but that never bothered me, my mother always said I would go well with a girl older than me. Although nothing happened between us, my heart would soar for her. My guilt goes away and it makes me at ease. The guilt that the one person I really loved was killed in front of me. And I didn't do a damn thing about it! I just stood there as Sephiroth's Masamune stabbed through her stomach. It was mind boggling because just a few second earlier she looked up at me and smiled at me. She smiled, not knowing that Sephiroth would fall out of the sky and kill her. That's why I went to the church. When I feel her at the church, it feels like she isn't really gone. I go there more than often, almost every day, on the way home from my deliveries I stop in, sometimes for hours. But I know she doesn't mind.
I walk through the door of the 7th Heaven and noticed the lights were out, which was odd, Tifa usually waited up down here, usually reading a book or magazine, or cleaning. Surprisingly, it upset me that she didn't stay up for me. I know I said I wished she didn't, but that didn't mean I didn't like her doing it. I liked walking in and seeing her smile, hearing her greet me, asking how my deliveries went. But after that she would switch into the 'why the hell are you so late?' mode. I looked around and saw the chairs were up on the tables and the glasses were all cleaned and in perfect order. I walked towards the bar to have a late night drink 'cause I wasn't really tired. Perhaps something strong that I can drown myself in. That reminded me of one night after an hour of being home; I sat behind the bar and poured myself something that was strong and burned going down the throat. About ten minutes later I heard the steps creak; tifa emerged wearing a white tank top and blue plaid pajama bottoms. Tifa paused, taking in my slightly drunken appearance
'Mind if I join you?' she asked, it sounded like she had something to tell me. I wasn't in the mood to talk; it was the day I went to the Forgotten City. Elmyra, Aerith's adopted mother, wanted me to deliver a bouquet to the lake where I parted from my love.
'I wanna drink alone.' I grumbled, not looking up, I didn't want to see her reaction. I knew my words hurt her.
'Then drink in your room' almost an instant reply, I could tell she said those words off the bat, she turned around swiftly, stomping up the stairs. I did hurt her.
The memory wasn't one of my most pleasant memories, but the next morning she greeted me with the same smile, pretending like the night before didn't happen. But I could see that she was sort of hesitant. I never wanted to hurt her, but if I was always with her, I would always do that to her. Sighing deeply, I switched on the lights.
I was a little more disappointed when I didn't see Tifa in the light; I was hoping maybe she was hiding herself in the darkness. She usually waits for me, no matter how late I am. Did she really give up on me? I felt an unexpected lump in my throat, which threatened to choke me. It's a little too much to think that my childhood friend would give up now, after all we've been through. I walk around the bar now with a purpose; I really need to drown myself in my sorrows now. But then I stop when I see her.
Tifa was on the ground, surrounded by a dark puddle. At first I thought it was blood but then I noticed it was a dark brown almost black, not red. I knelt down next to Tifa and I wiped a dark smudge off her face with my gloved hands. I pick her up in my arms, quickly, trying to get her away from the ooze. I tried to shake her awake, I gently placed my hand on her cheek, giving it a slight tap, trying not to hurt her.
"Tifa!" I called to her frantically. Her eyes opened briefly before closing them tight and she started to retch the dark ooze. It doesn't take me long to realize what it was. It was Geostigma. "Tifa!" I called to her again, desperately this time. She had to wake up, she wouldn't die on me now, I need her to run the bar, to take care of the children. I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. And then it dawned on me, I might have to, and Tifa would be gone. The thought was a lot worse than I could imagine. A Tifa-less life be one not worth living in.
When she opens her ruby eyes, they stay open. I could feel relief crushing down on my chest. But the lump in my throat wouldn't go away. Tifa has Geostigma. I'm losing her. Her eyes are opened not all the way, like it would take too much more energy to open them. Her body is lying limply, if her eyes weren't open it would look like she was… dead. I forced the thought out of my mind, knowing that in time, that would probably happen. Then another thought came, I would live to see her dead body, see her never open her eyes, never smile, never wait for me to get home.
"Cloud?" Tifa asked weakly, "When did you get home?"
"A few minutes ago," I responded, my eyes wide with concern. How long has she been on the ground? Was she waiting for me? Some hero I am. I can't help anyone
Tifa looked down at her left arm where the little bruise was, wincing a little when she saw it. "I guess this changes everything," Tifa muttered, she smiled humorlessly "and I thought I was stronger than this."
"It doesn't matter how strong you are, anybody could get the stigma." I try to soothe, but I knew it didn't have that much of an effect. Why Tifa? Denzel was bad enough. Why was I still being punished? I punish myself enough as it is…
I picked Tifa up in my arms and carried her upstairs, she struggled against me briefly, she squirmed her torso one way and her legs the other way, not making my job any easier. I can tell she's not really trying hard, either that or that's all the energy she has, if it is then I felt bad, Tifa could probably kick my ass and not break a sweat, now I could tell that she wouldn't even be able to rip a piece of toilet paper. That made me even more depressed.
"But I need to clean up." She argued and she stopped struggling. I could tell she didn't have the energy to keep moving.
"I'll clean it up" I told her and she looks at me surprisingly. It's very rare that I offer to do house work. Tifa does pretty much anything to make me help, she begs, pleads, bribes, blackmails. I hate house work as much as I hate Sephiroth. But I'd be willing to do it for Tifa.
I kicked Tifa's door open and place her down on her bed gently. I could feel her gaze but I couldn't bring our eyes to meet, because then she would see an emotion in my eyes that she would hate. Fear. She knows what's going to happen, its not like she hasn't seen it before, as time goes on her stigma is going to get worse, leading to her ultimate demise. I tore through almost every medical book and records, trying to find some clue to beat this. I even talked to every doctor from every city and town I went to when I was making my deliveries, but all of them had the same sort of answer. Geostigma occurred with no cure, it's very possible no one will ever find one. All the doctors could tell me was something I already knew, the victim doesn't last much longer than a few months, and they can even die as quickly as one day.Tifa knows this too. I fear that she isn't going to last too long, I would loose my best friend.
"Cloud," Tifa interrupted my thoughts. When I didn't look at her she grabbed my hand, causing me too peek up at her from under my spikes. "I'm not going to give up. I will find a way to beat this. I promise." I had the urge to ask her how she was going to beat this if no one had been able to find a cure. But then I realized she was trying to ease my mind. She was possibly trying to ease hers as well; having hope was the only thing she had left. I glanced down at her stigma, hating how it looked on her otherwise flawless skin.
"I'll get a wet cloth." I murmured and walked to the bathroom. I quickly grabbed a hand towel and ran it underneath lukewarm water. When I got back in her bedroom I noticed that she was having another attack, her face was scrunched up, her eyes squinted shut, her mouth parted, letting out little whimpers, her chest rising and falling quickly. I rushed to her side, trying to wipe the stigma from oozing down her arm. But I realize in helplessness that that was the most that I could do. After a few antagonizing moments her attack finally calmed and she squinted her eyes open.
"See, that wasn't…so bad," she said painfully. I know she's lying. Tifa may be good at a lot of thing, but lying is not one of them.
I tried to smile at her, and barely succeeding. I reach forward and cup her cheek. "Get some sleep. I'll take care of everything," I told her and she smiled back in return. Even with Geostigma, she tries to put up her happy routine, and if it wasn't for the small tears escaping out of the corner of her eyes, I would have believed it was bona fide.
When I walked out of her room I leaved it open a little, just incase she has an attack, I'll be able to hear it. I ran a gloved hand through my golden spikes irritably and I think Why can't it be me? I can't lose her too, she's all I have left.
But everyone you love will die and you can't save them. A familiar voice says in my head.
Shut up!
Like the Cetra and that SOLDIER. You killed them and you'll kill her too.
I said shut up Sephiroth!
My head became clear and I sighed in relief. It's not the first time I heard his voice in my head since meteor. Usual he says that I'm too weak to help anybody and that I'll kill them all. Well not this time. This time I'll do whatever it takes to save Tifa and Denzel. No matter what, I'll find a cure and I will get Sephiroth out of my head.
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The next morning when I woke up and I took a quick shower. What happened last night didn't seem real, even though I thought about it all night. The shower was probably the best thing I felt since this horrible event. The warm water on my cool skin was calming, it felt like it has been forever since I taken a shower. I would have last night but I was busy tearing through medical books, trying to find some sort of clue of how I could beat this, with no luck. Usually I like to take two showers a day, one in the morning to rid me of morning drowsiness and one at night ridding me of the dirt and sweat I accumulated while riding around Gaia. After I turned off the water and tied a towel around my waist, I went in my room to grab a change of clothes, when I realized that all my shirts were dirty. I pulled on a pair of loose dark pants and walked downstairs. I walked down the stairs, each step making a creak as I walked down it. When I got there I saw that Tifa was making breakfast.
She was humming as she flipped the pancakes on the pan. She was wearing gray sweat pants and a black tank top. Her feet were bare and occasionally tapping on the floor as she hummed a random tune. I must've stopped to stare at her for a while because then I notice her turn to look at me.
"Hi Cloud," she smiled warmly. I continued to gape at her. "Is something wrong?" Did she completely forget about her stigma?
I look down at her arm, hoping that last night was just a bad dream. But instead of the stigma, I saw a white bandage wrapped around her arm. I knew what was behind the bandage, and it made my heart turn, the last thing I wanted in the world was for Tifa to get Geostigma. I look back up to meet her eyes and saw that there was genuine curiosity in her eyes.
"You shouldn't be up," I told her and she rolled her eyes. She looked back at the pan and flipped the pancake again.
"And what? Let you do the cooking and house cleaning? Remember what happened last time?" She asked and started to laugh while I turned red. The last time Tifa had the flu, I was trying to make breakfast and almost successfully burn the bar down. In my defense it wasn't my fault. I was making breakfast and the TV was on and I glance away for a moment, but when I look back I saw that somehow my pants got on fire. So I was running around the bar, trying to find the fire extinguisher because somehow it was missing. So then I did a stop-drop-and roll. A very bad idea to do on wooden floors. So by now the fire was very close to burning my package and then I finally found the damn extinguisher and of course I sprayed it on myself. But when I tried to extinguish the floor, I saw that it was empty. So by now I'm panicking and the fire alarm is blaring so loud I couldn't think. Then I was saved when water was pored on the flames. Tifa was standing there holding a bucket. When she saw me she was laughing hysterically and I looked down to see there was a hole in my pants that showed my tighty whiteys and they were wet. After that day I switched to boxers.
"But you could've had another attack," I say as I stepped closer to her. My bare feet padded against the wooden floor.
"It doesn't matter if I have an attack while I'm standing up or sitting down," Tifa said and pointed to the small room with the washer and dryer with her hand with the spatula. "Your shirts should be done." She still had the smile on her lips.
I walk over towards it and grabbed a zip up black vest. "You should at least close the bar." I shrug on the vest without zipping it up. I always like how the fabric is toasty warm when you take it out of the dryer. It felt nice on my still cold skin. Whenever I'm alone and Tifa did my laundry as she normally does, and she puts it on my bed perfectly folded, I bring the warm clothes up to my face and let the clean scent and heat engulf me.
"And let people think that I have Geostigma and I' lose my costumers at a drop of a hat?" she says as she puts the stack of pancakes on a plate. She turns a knob on the oven and the fire goes out beneath the oven. Then she shakes her head, the smile now gone. "I don't think so."
"But you do have Geostigma," I told her. Tifa ignores me and picks up the plate full of pancakes and puts it on the table. She goes into the refrigerator and takes the syrup out. She puts that on the table too. The smile hasn't returned to her face and she's trying hard not to look at me. "At least can you please take it easy for a while?"
"Why do you care," Tifa finally snapped, still not looking at me. "I thought you only cared about her." She emphasizes the last word, and I knew who she meant immediately.
A lump quickly forms in my throat. It's unfair to Tifa because I know how she feels about me, I knew while we were searching for Sephiroth two years ago her feelings for me grew. But I still can't get my mind off Aerith, even though she's been gone since that fateful day at the Forgotten City. It's not like I don't care for Tifa, it's just that how can you be with somebody, but can't stop thinking about somebody else? I do care deeply for Tifa, it's just not the way she wants me to. And that's really hard, especially since we live together. Last night when I thought Tifa had given up on me, I hurt much worse than I anticipated, I thought it would be a small sting and I would get over it quickly, but if I did ever happen I don't think I would be able to take it.
"Tifa," I stretch my arm towards her, trying to grab her. Not forcefully but as a comforting gesture.
"Just go Cloud," she says and I gape at her in shock. She looks genuinely hurt, it also looks like tears are about to fall. If there's another thing I can't stand are Tifa's tears, whenever I see the liquid pool from her eyes I feel helpless, I would do anything to make her smile again. "Fine, I'll go." She storms out of the kitchen and seconds later I hear the front door slam shut.
It took a few minutes to register what happened. When I did, I ran to the phone and called Tifa's cell phone. But after a few rings, I could tell that she wasn't going to answer. Tifa always answers her phone, no matter what the situation is if her phone rings she has to answer, incase it was an emergency. I cursed aloud, more than anything I want Tifa to come back. What happens if she has an attack? The last thing I want is to get a call from someone saying they found her, and they tell me something I don't wasn't to hear, I lost her. I called Barret quckly, begging for him to have his phone on. I obviously can't leave the kids alone, if worse came to worse I would leave them with the neighbors. I want to do this fast so Tifa doesn't get too far ahead of me.
"It better be pretty damn important if you're callin' me this early in the mornin'," Barret's pissed of voice answers.
"How quick can you get here?" I just cut to the chase; I don't have time for formalities.
"I'm assumin' you mean the 7th Heaven?" Barret asks and that makes me want to punch him through the phone, where else would I be?
"Yes!" I yell impatiently, I don't have time for this!
"Awright jeez, what's with the hurry?"
"Tifa left and I need someone to take care of the kids," I say quickly, he really needs to stop asking questions and get the hell over here.
"Tifa's gone?" Barret's voice rises; he has a weak spot for Tifa. She's like another daughter to him, they met when Tifa first came to Midgar, and she was only sixteen at the time.
"Barret," I said warningly.
"Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes." He said and I hear rushing on the other end.
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Me likie lots of reviews :D please? I'll give you a life size Cloud cookie