Chapter two... and to avoid confusion this not a story about Imoen giving birth to twelve kids (duodecimlets?), it's a story about Imoen performing tasks.
Anyway, as I'm sure you're all aware, the first labour of Heracles (Hercules) was to slay the Nemean Lion and bring back its hide. Well, we can't abide with that kind of cruelty to animals in this day and age so I've altered it slightly... although it's not really any better from Imoen's point of view.
If you're wondering what the fuss is about, see my 'Untitled Document and other short stories', chapter 2.
The Twelve Labours of Imoen
~*~
Part Two: Purrpurrmrr
"So, everything is back to normal is it?" Aerie's eyes narrowed to slits as the two convicts were being led by Ewan across the drawbridge out of the castle. Everywhere the weather was nice, apart from the vicinity immediately around the elf.
"Alright, alight," Imoen walked beside her, hands behind her head and gazing up at the sky. "Don't see how it's my fault if they don't know how to take a joke."
"Why do I keep trusting you?" Aerie shook her head and sighed.
"It's my fun lovingness and carefree optimism. It sucks you in."
"Like a deep, black hole that nothing, not even common sense, can escape from…"
"Cheer up, Aerrers. A smile is more useful than a frown, isn't that what Quayle said? So, we've been arrested and sentenced to do some community service. Well, moping about it's not going to change anything. Just smile and have the most fun you can and the worst of it will be over in no time."
"I… I-I guess that makes sense," Aerie smiled, at least a tiny bit. "Hmph… y-you know you could talk an elephant out of its trunk."
"Yup… and with you being the best witch this side of Rasheman we've got nothing to worry about have we?" The red head grinned. "We can take anything they throw at us. Or I guess we could just leave… it's not like Nalia could stop us."
"She's still our friend… i-isn't she? I don't want to upset her any more than we already have."
"Besides," Ewan stopped and turned around to address them both, "if you run off you will each be branded as outlaws. Your likenesses will be circulated around every city, town and village in Amn and beyond along with a not insubstantial bounty. You will be hounded by the law, turned away from town gates, unable to find shelter or refuge…"
"We get the idea, thanks," Imoen quirked her lips. It was her thinking expression; she remembered the assassins and bounty hunters she'd encountered after her flight from Candlekeep, early in her adventures. Of course, she was sure that she and Aerie could handle any such lowlife's. But she wasn't sure they could handle the shock of having seemingly ordinary people suddenly attack them and therefore have to suspect everybody they met.
"Also, I'd like to point out that Lady Nalia isn't doing this out of vindictiveness towards you… at least not entirely. Having you perform these tasks was the only way she could come up with to ensure that the new road still gets built through here."
"I guess if it makes her feel better then we'll let her have her fun," the red head sighed.
"W-what happens if we fail at a task?"
"Ah, an excellent question to ask Miss Aerie!" Ewan seemed to get brighter suddenly. "Twelve is the required number of tasks that you must perform, so if you should fail at any then another will be set until the required number has been met."
"And what happens if we refuse to do a task?"
"That is a stupid question," the guide glared at the red head, "if you refuse to attempt any one of the tasks set for you then you'll be sentenced to twenty years in prison. Given your natures I wouldn't be surprised if the Cowled Wizards didn't get involved somehow…. Now, if you would kindly follow me…"
Abruptly he turned about and continued to lead them along a stony path, the two young women keeping as discreet a distance as they could.
"He… he makes me nervous," Aerie said after a moment.
"Makes you nervous? Did you see the looks he was giving me?" Imoen tried not to shudder under the memory of that gaze, "like I'm the source of all evil and wrong doing in the world or something. He seems to like you though."
"Hm… t-that's why he makes me nervous."
"It is a bit deranged I suppose… I mean it's obvious I'm the cutest. Maybe he it's the stutter. Hm, I could stutter too if I wanted… t-t-th-that's right…"
"I'm sorry," Aerie bowed her head and looked away sadly. Imoen bit her own lip; she supposed with hindsight that had been rather thoughtless. "I don't… I don't mean to stutter. I-I try really hard not to."
"No, I'm sorry… but you know I was only joking, right? I wasn't really making fun of you," the red head put her arm around the elf, "honestly Aerie, you can't go through life being so sensitive all the time. Now come on, who always takes care of you?" Imoen smiled, and gave the elf a little squeeze just to make sure she gave the right answer.
"Um… y-you," Aerie smiled back, again being somewhat bashful.
"That's right. Remember that fella' who said he was a deposed king from Chult, but his brother had died so he needed the money to get a boat back to claim his inheritance? You'd still be in that tavern now if it weren't for me… he'd have talked you out of everything down to the clothes you were wearing."
"I-I did think it was odd that a king would ask in taverns for help, r-rather than go see the ambassador," Aerie flushed a little from embarrassment. It wasn't that she was gullible; but, her lack of experience combined with very little self-confidence meant she found it hard to openly question what was told her. She was always a target for conmen, scammers and somewhat dubious philanthropists willing to part with their antique lamps for only the price of a luxury villa.
"Trust me Aerie… the ambassador would never have heard of him."
"I still don't understand why people would lie like that…"
"We're just about there," Ewan said, interrupting. It appeared they had arrived at a small farm; there were a few wooden buildings, a pen filled with sheep, a goat and they could hear clucking. The place definitely screamed 'farm' all right.
"So what are we doing here?" Imoen quizzed.
"We're here for your first task; should be quite an easy one. Just dealing with a local nuisance who has been stealing chickens from the farm here," he said, confirming everyone's suspicion that it was indeed a farm.
"Sounds easy," Imoen yawned somewhat theatrically, "so I guess we just stake this place out until this fella' show up, then I'll cast a sleep spell on him and we call for the guards to take him away, right?"
"Oh no… you're not allowed to use magic for this task. I'm afraid those are Lady Nalia's explicit instructions; so much as a cantrip and you'll have failed."
"No magic? Look… we're not amazons! How do you expect us to defend ourselves without magic?"
"No need to get your knickers in a twist… the criminal is elusive, but hardly dangerous. The two of you will be able to handle him if you put your heads together."
"Okay, fine… we'll play by the rules," Imoen relented. Of course, it wasn't her knickers he would have been interested in; a potentially advantageous bit of information that she filed away for later use. "Er… just lay off the clichés for a bit, okay? Now where are we supposed to wait?"
"No need to wait… it seems the culprit has already come to us…"
"What?" Imoen turned full circle, but apart the farm all she saw were trees. "I don't see anyone?"
"Er… look down. By your feet…" and she did so.
"Meow?" Said the greyest and ugliest cat she had ever seen.
"EEEEK!" Imoen screeched and leapt through the air, landing in the arms of a very surprised Aerie who unfortunately, since she really wasn't a six foot tall Amazon with a rock hard abdomen and bulging biceps, was unable to carry the weight of her friend for more than a few seconds and then fell over backwards the red head landing on top and forcing all the wind out of her.
"Ai… Ailuraphobia," the elf nevertheless tried to explain to Ewan, who was now finding it hard to look away from the scene of the red head straddling the breathless and blushing blonde. The cat meanwhile had also got a fright and gone running into the forest.
"Er… right," he got himself to blink and look away, "well, you have until sunset to catch him. I shall be around to observe from a distance. Good luck."
--
"It's hopeless," Imoen hung her head forlornly as she trampled through the forest, "we'll never find him in this… let's just give up on this task now…"
"We have to keep trying until sunset," Aerie reminded her, "o-or we'll be back in prison."
"Yeah, but, that's not so bad is it? We get meals and a roof over our heads… most importantly we won't have to face that… that malicious evil thing!"
"I know it's hard," Aerie said supportively, "but it's only a little cat. I-it can't really hurt you…"
"Oh no? Well let me tell you something… I got scratched by a cat once. Really nasty cut on my hand right here which hurt like hell. And then it got infected, so don't you tell me those things can't hurt you! I was only trying to give it something to eat so I was hurt emotionally as well."
"You'll have never survived in the circus," Aerie shook her head in an almost haughty manner.
"That's different… sure there are some really big cats there but they're not sneaking around all the time watching you…"
"Well… I-I think even big cats in the wild…"
"No!" Imoen made a stopping signal. "I don't want to know about what they do… I'd rather spend the rest of my life living in blissful ignorance of the facts."
"No change there then," Aerie muttered to her self.
"What?!"
"Hm… n-nothing," the elf smiled sweetly.
"I'm beginning to wonder if the fella' that trod on your foot wasn't right about you…"
"Look!" Aerie whispered urgently. "There he is!"
Sure enough, a short distance away the grey cat who had brought so much misery to the farmers was lounging beneath the shade of a tree wiping its claws with it's tongue. The two women crouched down and hid themselves behind another bush.
"Right," Imoen said, digging in deep. At least they could end this quickly. "Listen, I'll sneak around and chase him this way and then you catch him right?"
"Right," Aerie nodded, "I-I will try my best."
And so the simple plan, which usually do turn out to be the best ones, was put into action. Imoen stealthily worked her around, feeling out the ground with her feet so as not to step on a twig or another else that would give away, until finally she in position opposite Aerie. Then the red head came running out of the bushes, whooping and calling and making as noise as she could.
The cat slowly looked up and tilted its head as if asking itself 'what the hell is this?'. It had a good long while to calmly observe the apparently demented human bounding towards it, before deeming she had gotten too close for comfort and turning and springing away. He hadn't gotten fat when another biped leapt out and lunged at him…
But, nimble as the elf was the cat was even more so. He twisted to the side and easily avoided her, leaping off deeper into the woods whilst Aerie, catching nothing but air, landed on her chest and found herself sliding along the ground. She moments later pulled herself up onto her knees to find Imoen looming above and tapping her foot.
"I-I'm sorry," the elf panted, "I tried my best… h-he was just too quick for me…"
"You're right," Imoen said, a new look of resolve, "I've decided to face my fears. We can't let ourselves be humiliated by that thing… but we'll never catch it like this. I think we'll have to set a trap for it… now what to cats like?"
"Hm… p-podiums?"
"Be serious Aerie… how can we use a podium as bait? No… we need fish!"
--
A short while later, Purrpurrmrrrr (for this was the cat's name. He had once been known as Tiddums but had long ago rejected that slave name), picked up the fresh aquatic scent and started to follow. Before long though, he heard human voices. Swiftly climbing a tree, he looked down into a clearing where someone had placed a box, from where the cat knew the fishy smell was coming from. The box was on it's side, the lid held up open by a stick tied to some string. Also, he spotted the same two demented bipeds from before crouching behind some shrubs.
"… and then he goes in, I pull the string closing the lid and we've got him!" The one with red fur was saying.
"I-if you say so," said the yellow.
"Be optimistic Aerie! A smile's more useful than a frown, remember? Nothing can go wrong."
"S-something always does…"
"You're hopeless… but you'll see."
Purrpurrmrrrr didn't really understand the words they were saying, it was a very peculiar dialect they were using after all, but he definitely smelt something fishy besides the fish. He decided it was best to watch and wait for a while.
--
After nearly an hour of watching and waiting, Imoen and Aerie were getting tired. But then it seemed their patience had payed off, as they heard a rustling from across the clearing. The red head sat up, her whole body tense as she held carefully onto the string. Then it appeared… grey and ugly… a wolf. Just a skinny, mangy wolf.
"Damnit," Imoen hissed and stood up. It's snout was already just inside the box when she came running out to it. "Shoo! Get lost! This isn't for you!"
The canine yelped in surprise, turned and ran back the way it had came. During it's flight it disturbed a small group of birds who had been foraging in the undergrowth. These in turn flew out of the trees into the path of a wild horse who had been grazing at the edge of the forest. This flighty animal immediately thought it was under attack and bolted into the trees… it was fortunate that Aerie heard its hoof beats just seconds before it appeared in the clearing where Imoen was busy checking the trap.
"Look out!" The elf yelled and ran into the red head, her momentum just carrying them both out of the beasts path… a path which went straight across the wooden box they had prepared to trap the cat in, splintering it and throwing it's contents away several feet, towards the foot of a certain tree.
"I just… I don't believe it," Imoen said as she stood up, her eyes wide with shock. And then there he was… her nemesis falling out of the tree and landing on all fours right next to what had been her bait. "Why you little…!" She yelled and charged furiously. She was faster than Aerie, but sill wasn't fast enough. Again the feline easily avoided her and the red head had built up too much momentum to stop herself smashing head first into the unyielding bark. The cat made off with its prize while, as if to add a final exclamation mark to her complete and utter humiliation, an acorn fell from the tree and bounced off Imoen's head. "D'oh…"
"Imoen!" Aerie came running towards her friend. "Are… are you okay?"
"No Aerie, I'm not okay," the red head whimpered. Tears were welling up in her eyes. "I'm in an awful lot of pain in fact. Plus, I've been outwitted by an animal whose brain is probably no bigger than this acorn here…"
"There, y-you'll be alright," Aerie comforted her as she patted Imoen's head looking for injury. "You're not feeling faint at all?"
"No… just hurt and very upset…"
"Shh…I'll make you better," the elf said, gently resting Imoen's head against her chest and stroking her hair. "And remember, a smile is more useful than…"
"Don't make me want to strangle you."
Though bleary eyed and in intense pain, Imoen could still see it, the hateful creature, sitting in the shade finishing off the meal she had thoughtfully bought for it. Then it was looking at her through its evil green eyes. It was laughing at her wasn't it? She couldn't just take that, could she?
"You are not going to get away that easy!" She screamed, pushing Aerie off and taking off after her nemesis. The stunned elf had no choice but to run after them, although she soon found herself really struggling to keep up.
Imoen chased the cat all across the forest over hills and under ditches until eventually the animal ran out into another clearing where it was met with a sheer rock face. It ran up onto a ledge, but from there it couldn't reach the branches of any of the nearby trees. There was no way to go but back down the way it came; but there was the red head, her eyes glittering with insane hatred.
"I have you now," she hissed wickedly. Aerie stumbled into the clearing just seconds later.
"Wh… wh-what's happening?" The red faced elf panted, her hands falling down to her knees as she struggled to regain her breath.
"We've got him cornered, that's what! Now wait here," Imoen instructed as she placed her hand and foot against the rock.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Aerie pulled herself up, though she was still unsteady.
"I'm going to kill him," Imoen stated matter of factly and started to climb.
"Oh my… t-that must have been a worse blow to the head than I thought…" th elf said, but unfortunately she was far too exhausted to try and stop the red head.
Moments later, the cat reared back in horror as Imoen somehow managed to pull herself up onto the same ledge it rested on. Arching it's back and with its fur standing upright, the creature began to hiss aggressively.
"'Ere kitty, kitty," Imoen called out melodiously, "I've got a special treat for you… it's called a knife and it's just perfect for cutting off all that lovely fur," she cackled and started to swing. She missed, but immediately tried again and missed again. Tiddums, utterly terrified, kept backing away but he was rapidly running out of ledge… and then suddenly he was at the edge. "Aww… poor kitty. Time for some cat nip…"
And then, laughing madly, Imoen pounced forward to land the final blow… which she missed. Tiddums threw himself off the ledge, landing straight in Aerie's arms, to whom he clung desperately for protection. Meanwhile though, the red head had lost her balance. She fell but failed to land on anything so warm and soft and welcoming. Nor was she quite so adept at landing on her feet.
"You caught him then?"
Aerie's heart jumped suddenly; Ewan had suddenly appeared behind her. She held the cat, which was still shivering, close to her chest.
"I knew you would Miss Aerie," he said, smiling.
"Er, r-right," naturally she was very concerned about Imoen, who was lying face first on the ground and sobbing. "C-can you hold him for a moment?"
"Just put him here," he said, picking up a wooden box with a few small holes in. Inside was a nice warm bed of hay, where Tiddum's would feel a lot safer than he did outside anymore.
"Imoen," Aerie knelt beside her friend. The red head had suffered numerous small cuts and bruises all across her body. There was a huge lump on her fore head, and her left eye had swollen shut… amazingly though, nothing seemed to be broken. "I take it I'm allowed to heal her?" The elf pointedly asked their overseer.
"Of course," he said, still smiling.
"Aerie," Imoen somehow managed to speak, "we… we got him right?"
"Yes… we got him."
"I won," the red head said deliriously, "I… I beat a cat…"
Later, after Aerie had healed most of her wounds, the pair were escorted back to the castle to reminisce more on that day's glorious victory… but greater challenges were still to come.