Take a deep breath Maura, things will work out, they always do.
Maura closed her eyes and took that breath. Exhaling slowly, she silently willed her jittery nerves to leave along with the carbon dioxide. It was a simple dress fitting, she could handle that right?
No. She obviously could not.
She was by herself in this large room full of tulle and ribbons. Fake jewels and glitter were thrown around the small store, making sure every patron left coated in them. Jane was above this, this was so tacky. She was only doing this because of him. Casey. The very thought of the vile man made her blood boil. He was so inconsiderate and did not appreciate a single thing Jane had to offer. Maura was experiencing secondhand distaste as a result.
Maura had just sat down from the most awkward dress fitting in her entire life. Apparently this shop only carried dresses in even numbered sizes, so she was forced to wear a size six dress, altered down to a four to accommodate her bust line, which the seamstress made quite a show of. The detail-oriented woman spotted exactly where Jane's wandering eyes had landed, making this situation even more terrible. One could almost say that she was being objectified. Jane had started at the pumps she had worn, she loved her classic Louboutins. Paired with her black dress, they made Maura's legs go on for days. Up her legs, then the dress appreciation started. A satisfied smirk let Maura know that Jane was very much enjoying her view.
She kind of felt awkward on display, but at the same time she wanted to show Jane exactly what she was missing. They'd talked about it until tears were shed. Every single time, the detective refused to give her any sound reasoning for this quick, thrown together marriage. So, Maura had stood up straight, locked her shoulders, and pushed out her chest. If Jane insisted on marrying this man, Maura would not go down quietly.
Now she sat in a simple fold out chair waiting for-
Oh.
Oh goodness. Maura's heart was pounding in her ears and her vision tunneled.
Oh.
Tears flooded Maura's eyes as her heart broke. There, in front of her, was the most gorgeous sight she'd ever seen. She had seen the Louvre, La Tour Eiffel, the Dead Sea, and the Hanging Gardens. But, nothing compared to Jane Rizzoli in a wedding dress.
That will never be you. She will never be in a wedding dress for anyone but Casey, you fool.
Maura finally admitted the terrible truths that she'd buried far below the surface. Jane was radiantly glowing in her white, strapless, simple weddings dress. There were no frills or intricate beading, no dips or swirls but she was a piece of art. Maura's breath caught, shaking her back into reality. She had no idea that this could hurt so badly.
"Well, Mrs. Fashionista, do you approve?" Jane said, already knowing that this was not a good idea. She could not see Maura in pain and know she was the cause. It was the worst feeling in the world.
Maura jumped up, and ran out of the store, leaving her purse and belongings sitting on the dirty tile floor. Bursting through the door, she stepped out of her heels. The cold fall sidewalk stung her bare feet. She ran around the corner, into an alley, and leaned on the railing behind the shop and cried.
She cried for all of the possibilities she missed.
She cried for the dress she would never wear on her wedding day.
She cried for dress that she would not take off her wife on their wedding day.
.
She cried for the children she would never parent.
She cried for the oceanic honeymoon they would never have.
She just cried.
She-
"Maura?!"
Maura whipped around to see none other than Jane Rizzoli in a strapless bra and little mesh shorts. She looked so heartbroken, so fragile.
Jane ran towards the shivering blonde, taking in her smeared makeup and pale skin. They were just in a mess.
She enveloped the smaller woman in a hug, so close that no one could separate them. They swayed back and forth and cried together, their tears mixing on their faces as they rocked.
Maura closed her eyes and imagined them dancing in sundresses on the beach somewhere with rings on their hands and their eyes fixated on each other.
Jane imagined them swirling and dancing on the green grass of Fenway park, dancing their first dance as wife and wife while fireworks littered the night sky.
They both stayed in their fantasies for a minute. When Maura felt Jane shiver she opened her eyes to see chocolate eyes red rimmed and brimming with tears. They moved apart, the walls of their hearts tumbling down, and they knew that nothing had changed at all.