Chapter 1

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

$Parseltounge$

Slowly Harry regained consciousness and immediately felt his arms and back ache. As calmly as possible the raven-haired teenager tried to stretch his limbs and observe where he woke up. It didn't take long for Harry to figure out where he was, the clinical white beds were the first tip-off. The giveaway was the familiarity as well as the plaque with his name on he could spot the back of from his position on the bed. There was no place quite like the Hospital wing at Hogwarts. The plaque was installed by Madame Pomfrey during his third year after his debacle with the dementors marking it his third straight year ending up in the Hospital wing. And as Harry started trying to figure just what he had done this time to end up there, it all came back to him. The third task, portkey, Cedric, Pettigrew, Voldemort, his parents. It all came stumbling down onto him and he had to fight against the sob that were threatening to escape. Harry didn't have a lot of time to analyse his thoughts as the door to the Hospital wing opened and in came Madame Pomfrey.

"You can't stay out of here, can you Mr. Potter?"

As Madam Pomfrey briskly walked towards the potion cupboard and started fetching potions Harry realised he was completely alone inside the wing.

"How long have I been here?", Harry asked with a hoarse voice.

"This is the fifth day, the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons delegations left yesterday. Both champions were in here saying goodbye."

"Have anyone else been here?"

"The Headmaster has been here checking on your health, Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley were also in here."

"When can I leave? Aren't we leaving Hogwarts tomorrow?"

"If you let me cast a couple of diagnostic spells, I can determine that for you."

Madam Pomfrey started waving her Wand over Harry while muttering Latin sentences Harry didn't understand.

"Well Mr. Potter, your physical health is fine. Not quite as good as I would've like but I will give you 3 potions to take one each day forwards. Your Magic is not yet recovered, you had quite a severe case of magical exhaustion and your magical core is not yet fully recovered so my suggestion is that you wait a couple of days before using your magic in any capacity."

'Well that won't be a problem, the Dursleys will make sure of that.'

"Does that mean I can leave now?"

"Let me just fetch those potions for you", Pomfrey said chuckling.

After a while she came back with the potion, one for Harry to drink right away and the other two to save for the coming two days. Harry grimaced after gulping down the potion, it tasted as if every different flavour in Bertie Botts ever flavoured beans were mixed together.

As Harry started dressing himself with clothes, he figured were supplied by the House Elves Madam Pomfrey again spoke up,

"As much as I enjoy having you stay here Mr. Potter, I would prefer if you would at least try to not end up here next year."

"Yeah, I'll do my best."

After Harry left the Hospital wing he aimlessly wandered around the castle. His thoughts were rampaging in all different directions. He didn't feel like meeting or talking to anybody, especially not Ron who would most likely try not to focus on what happened and want to play chess or Hermione who would dig and pry into how Harry felt, not resting until she felt she knew every possible aspect of Harrys current mental state. With a quickly cast tempus he figured out the clock was 3 in the afternoon which meant he wasn't supposed to be in the Great Hall for some time. As he continued to wander his thoughts kept coming to back to how he was supposed to go forward,

'I can't be this weak, my weakness lost Cedric his life, my weakness gave Voldemort the tools to come back. I need to do better; I have to BE better.'

'I can't continue forward like someone else will fix my problems, I still don't understand why Voldemort is hell bent on going after me other than the fact of his hurt pride. But I just must accept that he IS, and I need to stop him.'

'But how am I supposed to stop him?', Harry started examining himself both physically, psychologically and magically and comparing himself to Voldemort.

'Physically I'm to small, to weak. I'm the smallest guy in my year, I mean even some third years are taller and bigger than I am. There must be a way to fix that.'

Slowly Harry started making a list of things he needed to fix, first he needed to fix his small frame that came as a result of the malnourishment he suffered at the Dursleys.

'Psychologically I'm even weaker, I have no drive, no patience, no knowledge. How am I supposed to beat a man 60 years my elder in both knowledge and experience without the drive to learn? My parents sacrificed themselves for me and what have I been doing, running around focusing on quidditch and socializing instead of learning magic. I need to do better.'

Then and there Harry vowed to do better, to study harder and to make a conscious effort to search for magical knowledge. He added talking to the Headmaster about learning magic the next time he talked to him.

'Magically might be the only part I feel I currently stand a chance against Voldemort, my Patronus should be evidence enough, I might still not be close to Voldemort but with enough work I might just get close.'

After Harrys thoughts calmed down and he kept on walking around simply for a lack of anything else to do Fawkes suddenly appeared in flames with a note in his talons. As suddenly as he appeared, he flamed away leaving the note floating through the air. Harry quickly grabbed the note and started reading.

Harry,

Madam Pomfrey informed me you left the Hospital Wing and is up and running. I would kindly ask that you join me in my office as soon as possible so we might talk.

I've recently gotten introduced to muggle confect known as "Mars Bars".

Albus Dumbledore

Harry immediately changed course towards the Headmasters office, and it didn't take long for him to get there, 3 years of navigating the castle had made its imprints.

Harry spoke the password "Mars Bars" and the gargoyle quickly stepped aside and Harry rode the staircase upwards. Harry was just about to knock on to the heavy oak door before he heard,

"Harry, please step in."

Harry opened the heavy door and before focusing on to the Headmaster he looked around inside the iconic round office with its many trinkets and books. His eyes finally landed on the Headmaster and he quickly sat in the offered chair, waiting for the Headmaster to begin speaking.

"Harry, my boy. I can't describe how good it is to see you in fine health, you gave us quite the scare", Dumbledore said, the twinkle in his eye not wavering for a second.

"I'm just happy I'm alive Headmaster", Harrys thoughts instantly went to Cedric and his still body.

"Of course, alas there's a reason I asked you to join me here other than checking on your health. I would kindly ask you, my boy to re-tell for me what happened during the night of the third task.", continuing just as Harry was about to protest, "I know it must be hard for you but I implore you, there might've been things happening that could be crucial for me to know."

"Sir, is there no other way? I would prefer not to talk about it at all."

Dumbledore put a hand around his beard and started stroking it while keeping eye-contact with Harry.

"There is another way, have you heard of a pensieve?"

"No, Sir."

"It's a device that let's us watch our memories, if you would be so kind to focus on the full memory from start to end. I will put the tip of my wand on your temple, so don't be frightened if you feel a small tingling inside your head."

Dumbledore withdrew his wand from inside his sleeve and Harry, for the first time truly looked at the wand. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was brown and long, with what looked like berries popping out. He felt a small tug on his magic just watching it, he didn't pay it much thought but in retrospect far, far later he would truly understand the testament of that tug.

Dumbledore lent over his desk and put the tip of his wand onto Harrys temple,

"Now Harry, focus on the memory from start to finish."

Harry focused from the moment he touched the Portkey until his parents and Cedric were able to distract Voldemort and give him the opportunity to escape with the same portkey that brought him to the graveyard.

Harry watched in fascination as a silvery liquid strand was pulled out of his head and attached itself to the tip of the Headmasters wand. Dumbledore with some quick wandless magic conjured a vial and put the memory inside it.

"Thank you, Harry. If there's nothing else, you would like to discuss I believe you have some packing to do."

"Uhm… Sir, there's actually some things I would like to talk to you about."

"Do tell, my boy."

Harry steeled himself mentally before he began talking.

"First of all, I was wondering if there's any sort of growing potions? Something that might help me with my growth. I've always been on the small side and the Dursley well, I don't really get a lot to ea….", Harry caught himself before finishing about the Dursleys. He knew it was a dead end. The Headmaster refused to listen to anything Harry said about the Dursleys that were in any parts bad or painted a picture that didn't align with Dumbledores worldview.

"Uhm, never mind that last part sir, just is there some sort of potion like that? Maybe a nutrition potion?"

"Ah, well firstly as a teacher and a scholar I have to tell you that your height and weight isn't important. It's the characteristics that define you and that should be valued, your inside not your outside. But alas, I've been young myself and know how ones look is important in the teenage years. So, to answer your question yes there is a nutrition potion. You can go to the infirmary and Poppy will be able to diagnose what type of potion you might benefit from."

Harry was honestly surprised he got such a straight answer from the usually evasive Headmaster. This might be perfect, if he could just meet Madame Pomfrey before he had to leave, he could take the potions over the summer.

"Thank you, sir, I will make sure to talk to Madame Pomfrey. Uhm, I would also like to ask about, if it's okay of course, some magical things. I would like to ask for some tips or pointers towards magical texts or areas. I know I haven't been the most studious student, but these past hours have really got me thinking, I'm up against a man 60 years my senior who knows magic I can only dream of performing so I need to learn more magic if I'm even to stand a chance against Voldemort."

Dumbledore throughout Harrys declaration kept an intense stare on Harry and when he was finished the twinkle in his eyes were back on an all time high. And there and then Harry knew the answer that was coming wouldn't be one to Harrys liking.

"Ah, but my boy, that's where you're wrong. You do know a magic Voldemort could only hope to know. Love Harry. Love. Love is the most powerful and wonderful magic there is, and it will be the key in defeating Voldemort."

'He has to be kidding me, how is love supposed to help me defeat the most powerful Dark Lord in recent times. He doesn't take me seriously; he didn't even answer my question about learning magic. Why does he treat me like a child? Have I not experienced enough for him to realise I can handle the truth? Well, this is only a sign I will have to fix this myself. He obviously won't help me'

Deciding to just play along with the Headmaster, Harry answered;

"I can't really say I fully understand what you mean sir, but if you say so."

"You're not alone there, the magic of love is something that has deluded witches and wizards for centuries, but I can assure you that it is one of the most powerful magics in the world. You will do well to remember that."

"Alright, thank you sir."

"If that's all, I have a memory to put my focus on and you have to prepare for tomorrow, do you not?"

"Yes, Sir."

Harry walked out of the Headmasters office down to the Gargoyle both relieved and frustrated. On one hand he for once got a straight answer from the Headmaster and now had a way to fix is small frame and low height, but on the other hand his questions about learning magic had been completely ignored and in Harrys mind ridiculed.

With that in mind Harry started planning out the rest of his day, he still didn't feel like talking to either Ron or Hermione and decided then and there to skip the evenings end-of-the-year-feast. He figured he might as well go fix the potions from Pomfrey and in no time at all he was just outside of the Hospital Wing. Without breaking a step, he opened the door and entered. The wing looked just like he left it, empty. As if she felt his presence Madam Pomfrey appeared from inside her office.

"Already back Mr. Potter? This has to be some kind of record.", she said with a stern voice that held a tint of amusement in it.

"Actually, I'm here because of something I discussed with the Headmaster. We talked about my growth and he mentioned a nutrition potion and told me I could find it here. I've always been on the small side and would like to see if there's any way to make even the smallest of change."

"I will be the judge if you can have those potions, sit down on one of the beds and I will be right back with my wand.", The nurse went back into her office and Harry went and sat himself onto the closest bed available.

Just as quick as she was gone, she was back and precisely as she did when Harry first woke up that same day the matron started muttering Latin phrases all the while waving her wand in intricate movements over Harry.

Madame Pomfrey gasped and staggered back a step.

"Mr. Potter these results are quite severe, why is it that you have not come to me about this before?"

"Uhm, what exactly did you find out?", Harry said in a small, timid voice.

"You're quite severely malnourished, your growth spurt has been heavily defected due to malnourishment. Do you not eat enough?"

"My relatives didn't use to give me a lot of food when I was smaller. It's better now but they there's still times they let me go for days without food. It was worse when I was smaller, they used to blackmail me into doing chores by threatening to withhold food if I didn't complete them."

"Those are quite serious allegations Mr. Potter. If they are indeed true, I will have a serious discussion with the Headmaster about your future with your relatives. I will supply you with potions to battle the malnourishment. I also found some cases of badly mended bones, it seems as if you've broken some bones and then just let them be, did you not visit a doctor?"

"Uh… Those are mostly from my cousin, when we were kids he and his friends used to chase and when they catched me they would beat me up. They would call it Harry-hunting. My relatives didn't care enough to let me see a doctor so eventually I guess it healed naturally."

"That's even more troubling to hear Mr. Potter. You can be sure I will have words with the Headmaster and take it further to the DMLE, however I'm sad to say it probably won't have any effect for this summer. All the politics involved will most definitely slow things down. However, I will give you a potion that should fix these bones, it will be a one-time drink and you might feel a bit uncomfortable during the night. For the nutrition potion I will supply you with enough potions for a 2-week period where you drink 2 potions a day, morning and night. Let me just go to the cupboard and fetch them."

The school nurse soon came back with a potion in one hand and a box in the other.

"Here you go Mr. Potter, drink up. Here's also the box with the potions in it, it has a space-expansion charm inside of it so there is a lot more space inside of it than what it looks like on the outside.

Harry took the potion and downed it in one, he immediately grimaced by the taste and Madame Pomfrey just chuckled. He took the box of the matrons hand and after thanking her he made his way back towards the inevitable Gryffindor tower. He needed to put the box into his trunk and get his invisibility cloak so he could check out the restricted section for books on interesting magic he could study during the summer.

So with a clear goal in mind Harry made his way upwards through Hogwarts halls, hoping he would be lucky enough to not run into a certain bushy haired girl and another redhaired boy.