Oh my gosh. Oh. My Gosh. It`s December 4th. I`m free! I`m free! Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry I haven't updated in forever! I`ve just been so busy with everything, and finals are coming up. Ugh! Well, I`ll try my best, per usual, and update as much as I can. Oh, and I forgot to mention I`m also using a few aspects from the book, but I`ll mostly be using the movie. And, oh my gosh, 3 reviews, 8 followers, and 8 favorites, already! Thank you guys so so much!
Bilbo turned his head at Liesel`s sudden call for him. He sighed and marched out of his pantry to confront the girl, and whoever was at the door.
"Liesel, what could you possibly-?" He grumbled until he reached his door, and looked up to see a dwarf on his doorstep, staring in between the two hobbits. Bilbo jumped just a slight bit, and couldn't help but let out a tiny yelp.
The tall, brooding dwarf furrowed his eyes in confusion just a bit, and bowed again "Dwalin, at your service." He repeated.
Shell shocked, Bilbo let out a noise like a whimper. Coming to his senses, he quickly tied his robe tighter and stood taller, although he was still confused as ever. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours."
The dwarf walked right into the warm home, without any invitation. Liesel attempted to show, at least, a threatening glare to him; but she was still quite thrown off at the mysterious dwarf.
"D-do we know each other?" Bilbo stuttered as the dwarf came in.
He looked right at him "No," he answered succinctly. "Which way is it, lassie? Is it down there?" He questioned to Liesel.
She perked her head up to look at him "Huh?"
"Supper." Dwalin dumped some of his gear on the ground and thrusts the rest onto Bilbo "He said there`d be lots of it." The dwarf walks off to find the kitchen.
"H-He said? Who said?" Bilbo turned his head to look at the equally confused girl right next to him. She knew just as much as him; she shrugged her shoulders.
Dwalin sat at Bilbo's spot on the kitchen table, eating Bilbo's dinner, while Bilbo and Liesel sat behind him, confused. Dwalin ate all the flesh from the fish, then ate the head as well, as Bilbo looked on in disgust, Liesel couldn't help but stare at the odd eating.
"Mmmm. … Very good, this. Anymore?" The dwarf turned to face the two
"What? Uh, oh, yes, yes" Bilbo stuttered and grabbed a basket full of biscuits, then brought it to him. "Ah."
"Help yourself." Bilbo put on a fake smile; he hurriedly hid one behind his back for Liesel. Dwalin began stuffing the rest in his mouth. The hobbit showed the food behind his back to the girl. When it finally caught her eye, she shook her head. They kept having the silent argument for a few seconds, until with a roll of his eyes, Bilbo gave up and kept the biscuit.
The elder hobbit struggled to get the words out of his mind, and out of his lips "It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company."
At that moment, the bell rung again, and the two Halflings looked up in alarm, the youngest still clutching the blanket around her.
"That'll be the door." The two had almost forgotten it hadn't just been them in the room.
So they opened the door again, with Liesel deciding she didn't need the cover anymore, and threw it into the same box. The ringer revealed to be another Dwarf this time to have a small resemblance of Father Christmas, and had a red hood, opposed to Dwalin, who had green.
"Balin, at your service." He did a petite bow, and rose up to look at the hosts again.
"Thank you, good evening." Bilbo said, trying to hide the overwhelming hesitance in his voice.
"Yes, yes it is, though it might rain later." The dwarf looked up to where, Liesel assumed, the moon was. This dwarf also strode into the Hobbit Hole without being asked in
"Am I late?" He looked up to the frazzled pair.
"Late for what?" Bilbo stuttered again.
"Oh!" escaped Balin`s mouth, as he saw the other dwarf shaking a jar, attempting to get more biscuits. The two meet eyes then walk towards each other.
"Ha ha! Evening, brother. Heh, heh."
"Oh, by my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met." Dwalin laughed.
"Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us." Balin replied.
Laughing again, they greeted each other amicably. Putting their arms on each other's shoulders, they smashed their foreheads together. Bilbo and Liesel looked on in wonder.
Finally, Bilbo spoke up, while Liesel remained silent like a mouse again "Uh, excuse me; Sorry, I hate to interrupt, ah, but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house."
Ignoring Bilbo, Dwalin and Balin have gone into Bilbo's pantry, where they were pouring ale and examining the food. As they talked to each other, Bilbo continued his speech.
"Have you eaten?" Dwalin asked his brother
"It's not that I don't like visitors; I-I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting." Bilbo continued.
The two dwarfs, still not listening to Bilbo, rifled through his pantry. "Ah, that looks very nice indeed." Balin commented on a piece of food, he picked up a lump of cheese.
"What's this?" Dwalin took it away.
"I don't know, I think it`s cheese."
"The thing is, um" Bilbo stuttered some more.
"It's gone blue." Balin pointed out.
"It's riddled with mold."
"The thing is, um," Bilbo began again "I-I don't know either of you-." Dwalin chucked the cheese he was holding behind him, near Bilbo and Liesel.
"-not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I uh, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry." He threw his hands in the air.
The two dwarves pause and look at the Hobbits, Bilbo cleared his throat.
There was a small silence, until Balin said with a smile "Apology accepted."
Bilbo scoffed.
"Ah, now fill it up, brother, don't stint. I could eat again, if you insist." Balin placed the mug back on the platter.
Liesel rolled her eyes slightly and turned to Bilbo "Bilbo, when I said that you needed to get out more, I didn't mean meet the first dwarf you see!"
Bilbo couldn't believe his ears at this! "Excuse me, didn't you just listen right now?! I don`t know-!" They were cut off by another Ring! at the door. They both slowly turned their heads to the door.
Bilbo and Liesel opened it to find two young dwarves. Upon seeing them, Bilbo made a small noise which sounded like a moan.
"Fili." The one with a yellow beard in many braids and a blue hood said.
"And Kili." The seemingly younger one with long, black hair and a matching blue hood also said.
"At your service." They bowed in unison.
"You must be Mr. Boggins." Kili mispronounced with a wry smile.
"Nope, you can't come in, you've come to the wrong house!" Bilbo tried closing the door, but Kili stopped it with his foot, and then pushed it slightly open. "What? Has it been cancelled?"
"No one told us." His brother said.
"Cancel? No, nothing`s been cancelled!" Liesel spoke sharply.
"Well, that's a relief." He moved his foot out of the door and pushed the door wide open, and they let themselves in too.
Before Bilbo could send a seemingly warning scowl to the little one, the dwarves that just entered pushed equipment onto Bilbo.
"Careful with these, I just had 'em sharpened." Fili warned.
"It's nice, this place. D'you you do it yourself?" The younger one treaded around some of the room. Kili started to scrape the mud off his boots on the edge of a chest standing nearby.
"Ah, no, it's been in the family for years-." Bilbo notices the dwarf damaging the chest "That's my mother's glory box, can you please not do that?!"
Liesel turned to face Bilbo "You`re not doing it right." She turned back to Kili, still scraping the mud off. "Oi!" and walked towards him, placing a tiny hand on his leg.
"foot off the box, or you lose it."
Bilbo heard her remark, and turned his head sharply to her "Liesel!"
She turned her head "What? You wanted me to do something."
He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Fili laying more weapons on his arms.
"Ah, it`s alright Mr. Boggins. You`re little girl has a fiery temper, that`s for sure." Kili gave the younger hobbit a wry grin.
"No!" The two hobbits turned their heads and shouted in unison.
"She-she`s not my daughter. She`s just- a friend." Bilbo stammered.
"Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Dwalin had come from another room and led the two to it.
Kili smiled as the other dwarf led him into the larger dining room "Mr. Dwalin."
"Let's shove this in the hallway, otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Balin explained. The dwarves prepared to shift Bilbo's furniture around to create a feasting area.
"Everyone?!" Bilbo and Liesel yelled in unison again. "How many more are there?" Bilbo asked this time.
"Where do you want this?" Either Fili or Kili asked, I can`t quite remember.
The doorbell rang very hard and longer than before. Bilbo, "Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home!" He started to walk away from the other dwarfs, leaving Liesel to fend for herself.
Bilbo threw the swords and other weapons to the ground in anger. "Go away, and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is."
"Bilbo," Liesel`s voice echoed as she tried the others to top fiddling with the furniture "if you say 'Nobody`s home!' then they know there is!"
Bilbo cringes, and becomes more frazzled "Not now Liesel!" He turned back to the door "If-if this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, ha ha! I can only say, it is in very, poor taste!" He pulled the door opened, and out fell multiple other dwarves! They all yelled and whined at each other to 'Get off!'
Bilbo looked up from the pile of dwarves to see a tall, grey coated figure. The figure leaned his head down, and revealed to be Gandalf! The hobbit said the wizard`s name in a weary tone
The dwarves that had fallen on the ground instantly stood themselves up and began to crowd almost entirely around the hole, exploring the little home, touching all the knick-knacks, and especially raiding the whole pantry!
"No, no, no, no!" Bilbo tried his best to stop most of the dwarves from breaking anything valuable; which was everything. He placed his hands on the side of his head, and gripped his curly hair in them, then turned to the staring Liesel, obviously not knowing exactly what to do.
"Liesel," Bilbo began, throwing in a hint of a fake tone, and walked to her, losing his hands "can you please, please, stop these dwarves from breaking anything?"
She squinted her eyes up at him "And, where are you going?" she asked, almost seemingly knowing he was leaving for a minute.
"I-I only need a minute, to clean myself up." He excused at the end.
She sighed. She was tempted to say another retort to him, but since he`s the only reason why she hasn't been kicked out yet-. She nodded.
A genuine smile appeared on the elder hobbit`s face. "Thank you," he turned back around and skipped back to another room.
Liesel turned around and let out a heavier sigh. "Now how am I going to do this?" she asked herself. She sighed again, and decided to start off with the pantry.
She walked in to find it no better than the rest of the hole. There were many 'Take this one,' 'I hate the taste of that!' and 'Where`s the beer?!' coming from the tiny room.
"Hey, hey give me that!" Liesel attempted to take a whole chicken out of an immensely fat ad heavy dwarf named Bombur. The dwarf ignored her and kept walking.
Soon, a line of dwarfs formed to be stealing multitudes of food. There was a dwarf just a bit shorter than the others that Liesel could thankfully reach.
"What are you-?!" She hissed and turned him around, to reveal an axe sticking right out of his head! The dwarf spoke something incoherent to the young girl in a daze, and pointed to the sharp object in his forehead.
"He`s got… an injury lassie," Liesel slightly turned her head around and saw a hearing impaired dwarf named Oin.
"What, you mean the axe in his head?" The young hobbit questioned with sarcasm.
Oin raised his hearing trumpet to his right ear "Dead? No, only between the ears; his legs work fine!" The dwarf walked off, only leaving her more confused.
The moment the dwarf left, Bilbo walked to Liesel`s side and smiled down at her. "Well, she didn't exactly stop them, well, she tried." He thought, then saw her partially frazzled face.
"Are you alright?" He cocked his head onto one of his shoulders.
After staring at supposedly nothing for a few more seconds, she looks up at him. "I-I have no idea." She stammered.
He was still looking down at her "Liesel-." He was interrupted by a heart wrenching crack. They both stopped standing in the middle of the crowd of dwarves, and rushed back to the pantry entrance. They had forgotten all of the dwarves still raiding the food.
"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine!" Bilbo shouted, Liesel tried again to take the food items out of the dwarves` filthy hands.
"Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me." Bilbo continued to attempt halting the men carrying the food, and even a few furniture pieces and trinkets!
The two saw Bombur walking out of the pantry with three entire wheels of cheese! "Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?" Bilbo asked, nervously pulling on one of his suspenders.
"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." Bofur chuckled, carrying more ham out.
Liesel snapped her head around when her sharp ears heard slight creaking, and saw Oin and Gloin walking through the hall carrying chairs from one of Bilbo's rooms.
The girl tapped on Bilbo`s shoulder. He turned to her, she pointed to the two dwarves taking the chairs.
"No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it back please. Take it
back...It's antique, not for sitting on! Thank you! That's a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank you."
Oin pointed to his ear on his right, mumbling something. "He can`t hear what you`re saying." Liesel was right next to Bilbo, and told him.
The dwarves continued bringing all of Bilbo's food and furniture into the dining room. Dori approached Gandalf with a tray and some tea.
"Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?" Dori asked the tall wizard.
"Oh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think." Gandalf walked out of the dining room, trying to avoid the scurrying dwarves. He hit his head on the chandelier, and let out a small, surprised cry; then, he began counting the dwarves on his fingers.
"Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori-,"
He saw Bilbo wrestling a bowl of tomatoes away from-
"Ori!" Gandalf warned to the youngest dwarf, he pulled away from the food. "Thank you," liesel hisses, and she and Bilbo wander off to the other wreckers.
Bifur, the dwarf with an axe in his head, approached Gandalf and talks to him in Khuzdul, an language unknown to us, and merely talked in body language.
"Yes, you're quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short." Gandalf mumbled.
"He is late, is all. He travelled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come." Dwalin said, drinking from a mug.
"Mr. Gandalf?
"Hmmm?" Gandalf turned to Dori behind him.
"A little glass of red wine, as requested. It's, eh, got a fruity bouquet." He hands a small glass to the wizard.
"Ah, Cheers." Gandalf drunk the tiny cup of wine Dori offered him, then looked sadly at the cup, wanting a little more.
The dwarves, sitting in Bilbo's dining room, had a grand feast with all his food. They were, if I do say so myself, quite rude and messy about it.
"Bombur catch!" Bofur threw a piece of food to the fat dwarf across from him. Bombur catched the food in his mouth, and everyone cheered.
As everyone began throwing food around, Bilbo walked away in disgust, to the frozen Liesel staring into the pantry. He looked at her for a second, than followed her eye. He looked at his pantry in shock; it had been entirely cleared of food.
Liesel turned her head slightly around to see Fili walks on top of the table, carrying several cups of ale and knocking aside the food in his way! "Who wants an ale? There you go."
"Let him have another drink!" Dwalin pointed to Oin, harmlessly eating a plate full of meat.
Fili grinned, then poured ale into Oin`s hearing trumpet "Here you go."
As Oin spluttered in anger, everyone else laughed. Oin put his hearing trumpet to his mouth and blew the ale out of it, making it squeal.
One of the dwarves yelled, "On the count of three!" and the dwarves pounded their tankards together.
Someone counted again, "One!...Two!" Then all the dwarves went quiet and began drinking their ale together. They were incredibly messy, as ale fell all over their faces and ran down their beards. When finished drinking, they began burping. The youngest, Ori, let out the biggest belch! The dwarves laughed so hard, Liesel swears she saw ale coming out of a few of the dwarves` noses! Bilbo looked away, and scowled in disgust, but Liesel was frozen from looking away.
When the outburst finished, Liesel and Bilbo went their separate ways, of course to do the same thing; stop them at all costs.
"Oi, I`m not going to tell you again, put that down!" She hissed to Ori, shaking a jar full of shined rocks, quite enjoying the sounds. Once he saw the look on the girl`s face, he gently, but still quite shaken up, set the jar back on the mantle, then treaded away.
The girl smelled smoke, than snapped her head around to Kili, she believed, smoking a pipe "Stop that, it`s disgusting." She spoke sharply, and looked up at the dwarf, just towering over her.
A grin appeared on his face as he tugged the pipe out of his mouth "And who`s going to make me, princess?" He smirked at her mouth falling open, but tightly closing it.
"Well obviously I can`t. I mean, there has to be someone that can get your head out of your arse!"
His smirk grew, then put the pipe back into his mouth "Try talking to my brother."
"And, who is that?" She cocked her head to the side.
"Blonde hair, braids, easy to see from over a mile away."
"Ohhhhh." She threw herself just a bit back, acting as if it surprised her. She curved herself around to walk away and try to put a stop to the other havoc, but Kili stopped her.
"So, what`s your name, little lady?" He questioned, then chuckled when he finished.
She tensed up at the use of a name again, but took a deep breath, then let it out, and whipped her figure around to him.
"Liesel Hayward." She stuck her hand out and plastered on a big smile.
He slightly rolled his eyes up, and removed one of his hands from his pipe, and shook hers. "Kili Okenshield."
"Hm, nice ring to it." Liesel said, and they smiled at each other.
"I don`t want to get used to them!" They followed their eyes to the sound. They young hobbit sighed, and left to see what in the name of Valar was going on.
"There`s mud, trod into the carpet," he pointed all over the carpet, noticing Liesel`s bare feet on it. "They've pi-pillaged the pantry. I`m not even going to tell you what they`ve done in the bathroom, they`ve all but destroyed the plumbing-!" He rose his hands to his hair again, the turned to the girl standing to his left. "Tell him, Liesel!"
This snapped her into attention "I haven't even been-!"
"Excuse me," a quiet voice belonging to Ori stopped the two from quarreling "I`m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"
Before Bilbo or Liesel could speak an answer, Fili took the plate out of the youngest dwarves` palms "Here you go Ori, give it to me." He threw it right over to Kili, who caught it in the nick of time! Kili threw the plate he was holding behind his back to Bifur, and catched another one and also threw it behind.
Bifur caught the two plates without even turning around to look! Very soon, nearly all of the utensils and plates and bowls Bilbo Baggins owned were being toppled into the air, and back down again to be washed or dried. At one moment, a few of the dishes had gotten close to hitting Gandalf, so he ducked on instinct and let out a "Woah!"
"Excuse me, that`s my mother`s West Farthing crockery, it`s over a hundred years old!" Bilbo screeched and ran into the kitchen, Liesel following him. For some odd reason, a grin was beginning to form on her face.
They had both entered the kitchen and saw about four of the other dwarves sitting at a small table, clashing the silverware together, and stomping their boots to create a rhythm.
"Can-can you not do that? You will blunt them!" Bilbo scolded.
"Ooh, d'hear that, lads?" Bofur asked, teasingly, and began to sang "He says we'll blunt the knives!"
Kili joined in as more bowls and plates were being thrown "Blunt the knives, bend the forks!"
"Smash the bottles, and burn the corks!" Fili tossed one bowl on his shoulders. And all the other dwarves joined in as more anarchy happened all over the hole, and Liesel couldn't help but laugh like a little child, receiving many odd glances from Bilbo.
Chip the glasses and crack the plates.
That`s what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth and tread the fat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the rocks in a boiling bowl; pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you`ve finished, if any are whole,
send them down the hall to roll!
So carefully, carefully, with the plates.
That`s what Bilbo Baggins hates!
As the last bowl landed, Bilbo rushed into the kitchen, preparing to see a ginormous mess. But instead, he was greeted with neatly placed stacks of bowls and plates, and multiple dwarves laughing at his stressed face. Liesel couldn't help but let out the tiniest of giggles.
A sudden, harsh knock on the door quieted them.
"He is here," Gandalf was the first to speak.