Hey guys! I Do like Courtney and I didn't like making her die but it's part of life…So on with the story! This chapter is dedicated to my sister Sarah. At times you're awesome but mostly I just want to strangle you!

Tears were rolling down my face. How could she be gone? It was like being in a dream world. Except this wasn't a dream it was a nightmare.

"Sir?" said a voice. I looked up and saw a nurse. "Sir we have to get the birth certificate ready and we have to know what you're naming your daughter," said the nurse.

My daughter. Somehow I didn't want to think about her. She was the reason Courtney was gone. Why Courtney was…..Dead.

No it wasn't her fault Courtney was dead. Courtney would love her even now if she was alive. I got up and walked back to the birthing room.

She was lying there, sleeping. When I saw her I knew I could never blame her for Courtney's death. She was curled up in tiny white baby clothes and of the hair she had (which wasn't very much) was dark brown.

And though her eyes were closed I knew they were a beautiful teal. It took me a minute to remember why I was there.

I walked over to the small baby bed and picked up my daughter. I can't believe it. My daughter.

I heard her little heart beat and felt the warmth of her little body. Names, I thought to myself, I've got to think of a name.

Suddenly I remember Courtney whispering a name. Was it Erin? Emily? No wait I remember it was Erica.

"Sir, when you're ready just fill out this form with the name of your child," said the nurse.

I took the form from the nurse and filled out the first name.

Erica

Now what would be her middle name…. I took a book from the suitcase titled Baby names and meanings for Dummies. I flipped through the pages looking at names and meanings until I found one that seemed perfect.

I wrote down her middle name then wrote down her last name.

Thomas

Satisfied I gave the form back to nurse and went over to the nurse.

7 DAYS LATER (March 20)- At Courtney's Funeral

I arrived at the funeral home with Erica to learn that we were probably the last people to arrive.

When we walked in I saw many people I recognized. There was my brother Rob and his wife Lauren. Lauren was sobbing onto Rob's arm and Rob was looking away but I could tell he was crying to.

When Lauren saw me she ran over and practically hugged me to death. "I'msosorryaboutCourtneyshewaslikeasistertomewaaaaaahhhhh!" Lauren said. I couldn't understand a word she said. So instead I handed her Erica and Lauren hugged her.

I knew that would work. Nothing made her happier then to hold her little god-daughter.

I walked away from the sobbing Lauren and saw some people that I hadn't expected to see. There sitting (and some standing) was the cast of TDI. I mean I had expected Bridgette, Dj, Geoff, Trent, and Gwen.

But everyone else from the show was there to. Even Heather.

Beth and Lindsey were hugging each other and sobbing, Ezekiel was just standing there, Geoff and Bridgette were crying and not making out for once, Sadie and Katie were EEEEEEing in sadness, and the rest of them were just standing there with sad looks on their faces.

When Bridgette saw me she walked up. "So what did you name her?" she asked. "Who?" I asked having a brain fart(A/N lol brain fart)

Bridgette replied "The baby,". "Oh," I said "I named her Erica Sarah Thomas,". "Why the middle name?" Bridgette asked confused. She was probably thinking of her bratty sister.

"Because," I said quietly "It means Princess,". With that Bridgette's eyes overflowed with tears and she had to turn away but I could tell she was sobbing.

I walked over to the casket. I had asked for a closed casket ceremony because I didn't want anyone to see how bad she looked. But the real reason was because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself together.

I was startled to see a hand on my shoulder and turned around. There I saw Courtney's parents. I was shocked because they hadn't really approved of Courtney marrying me and had only come to the wedding for the ceremony.

And that was because they loved Courtney. But I was shocked to see it was her father's hand on my shoulder and my mother in law, Karen, come up and hug me hard.

When she let go she said to words. "I'm sorry,". I knew she ment for Courtney's death but also for not being there.

And I told her three words. "I forgive you,".

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The first year of living without her was the hardest. Being an only parent was tireing. Besides my job at the police station (what can I say, Courtney insisted) having to care for Erica day and night was hard for a single parent.

She often spent the days at Lauren and Rob's or at her Grandparents (who by the way are active in her life now) while I was at work.

They constantly were spoiling her and giving her sweets (money was not a problem considering their wealth). Erica saw them at least once every three days.

Her first birthday was elaborately celebrated at her grandparent's mansion. All of the family members were there except me.

Where was I? I was visting Courtney's grave at the cemetery. I put a bouquet of daffodils, her favorite, on the grave and sat there remembering her.

Finally I went to the party and Erica beamed in happiness when she saw me. Lauren later told me that she was happy but kept looking around as if wondering where I was.

For her birthday she received so many clothes ranging from cute and innocent to boyish and troublemaker.

She got a teddy bear from Lauren and Rob, which she clung to, dress up clothes from her grandparents and from me she got a golden locket with the words "Aimez-toi pour toujours" which means "Love you forever".

Inside it was a picture of me and Courtney on our wedding day. I put it around Erica's neck and she stared at in awe.

After that day things weren't so hard. It felt like a burden had been lifted off my chest.

Erica grew and grew. Her dark chocolate curls were down to her back and her bright teal eyes were curious.

Before I knew it she could walk and talk. The first word she said was "Dada?". A few months later she was able to say "Love Dada,".

Being busy with Erica and work I forgot about the promise I made to Courtney. The promise to find someone else to love.

Sure Geoff tried to fix me up with someone and Lauren and Rob helped him but I told him I wasn't interested.

I knew I couldn't love anyone but Courtney.

ME: Ok that's it for now! I hope you guys liked it I'll post more tomorrow! And don't worry Duncan WILL find love.

GEOFF: So remember reviews give her the warm and fuzzy feeling inside!

Me: how did you get in here?

Geoff: Back door.

Me: I've got to remember to lock that door!

Geoff: So review! In her diary she said it makes her feel like her story is not worthless.

Me: YOU READ MY DIARY??!!! *chases Geoff around room*