A simple curtsy before the Queen and Lilias Evelyn Gillingham was now a lady.

She felt absolutely the same. It wasn't as though some feeling of maturing had washed over her and made her aware of all the answers to every question in the universe. She didn't suddenly grow four inches and receive larger breasts and fuller hips. No, as far as she could tell she looked and felt exactly the same as before.

Well, something had changed: the way the men looked at her. Before they would look at her as though she were a colt, wondering if she'd grow into a fine mare; now, they looked at her openly, seeing if she had something that set her apart from the other ladies. It made her terribly uncomfortable. Lily did not like to be looked at or studied like some scientific experiment. She felt positively naked in front of all these people in her pink gown that was far too gaudy and low cut for her own tastes.

She spotted her friend Amelia across the room and ran to her, relieved to have a comfortable person to talk to. Amelia smiled. She was a vivacious girl, who was no doubt enjoying herself more than Lily was.

Amelia sipped her drink elegantly and spoke in a crystalline voice, "Spot any men you like?"

Lily felt herself blushing, "Not especially."

"Really?" Her friend asked, "I've seen a few. That one there's quite handsome," She nodded to a tall be-speckled man walking towards them.

Lily knew this man. She'd seen him a fair number of times in her life. Lately, he'd been a school, but he looked enough like his brother for her to recognize him immediately.

"Neville, how good it is to see you" she smiled. "Oh, I mean, Mr. Craven." She'd have to get used to these formalities.

"Doctor Craven now, actually," he added proudly, pushing out his chest a bit. "But Neville will do. We've known each other long enough to dismiss formalities." He smiled smugly, like he was applauding some joke she hadn't heard.

She looked at him. It had been a few years since she last saw him and he certainly had changed. The younger brother or Archibald, their parents had given everything to the "normal" brother. He and Archie received the same education, but Neville was allowed in clubs where Archie was not. Neville had been more popular than his cripple older brother, and Lily was certain he'd never forgotten it.

As far as Lily could tell, Archibald was not here. She wondered why he hadn't come.

"How have you been?" He asked politely.

"Well, thank you."

He looked her over. She didn't like the gleam in his eye. Lily liked Neville, sure, but his gaze had something more than friendship in it. Which was odd, seeing as they hadn't spoken in years. Neville had been in University for years, and hardly ever came around Misselthwaite now.

"Are you in London for the whole season?"

"Yes, I plan to be," she saw that Amelia had left. She was alone now.

"I'm staying in father's London home while I'm here for the week. You should come for dinner sometime."

"Yes, that would be nice," she said before realizing what she had agreed to. She did not want to have a date with Neville. She certainly did not want to be courted by him. But why not? He's a respectable man with a good fortune and family name. His job will also provide revenue.

Lily looked at him again.

"Wonderful," Neville said. "How will tomorrow night do?"
ooo
When Archibald walked down to the library, he did not expect to see and angel sitting in wait.

Of course he knew Lily would be coming to dinner, but he didn't expect her to look so...astonishing. So radiant. She was always beautiful, but now she looked as though she were some painting come to life. He hardly ever saw her in such finery. It made him very conscious of his myriad of flaws: His dark hair that always was too messy, his pointed nose, and the horrible hunch of his shoulders.

He tried for a moment to roll back his shoulders; straighten himself. It did nothing. The lump on his shoulder would not leave.

And Lily sat there a vision of perfection, there to torture him with her unattainability.

She's not here for you, he told himself for the hundredth time. She's here for Neville.

Damn Neville.

He looked back to Lily.

There she sat, gazing hungrily at the book in her lap. Her gown was a light blue and floated on her slender frame like gossamer. Her blonde hair was up on top of her head with a few loose curls framing her heart shaped face. She was the most beautiful girl to make her debut this year, everyone said so. Neville had made quite the fuss that she had agreed to dine with him. Archibald hoped that she'd only done so that she could see him, not Neville. Of course it was a foolish hope, an unrealistic expectation.

She's here for Neville, not you.

Neville can burn in Hell.

Lily looked up suddenly at the squeak of his step.

"Archie!" she beamed. He did too. Her use of his pet name had called him a bit. It's just Lily. Just Lily.

He nodded, "Wonderful to see you, Lily." His eyes must've lingered on her for two long, for she suddenly looked down at her garments.

"I feel like a peacock in all these things," Lily sighed. "Forgive me. They're absolutely beautiful, I just feel out of place in them."

"You do not look it," Archibald replied and immediately wished he hadn't. "I mean you look...radiant."

Lily ran the word through her mind and he was rewarded with an even larger smile. "You are always too kind to me."

Just then Archibald felt the library door open up behind him. In came his brother with his confident and charismatic air.

Neville is far more handsome than I. Far better suited for Lily. She'll chose him.

She hardly knows him.

Look at her smiling at him. And she was. Her beautiful kind smile that made you feel as though you were the most important person in the world. She smiles like that to everyone, he reminded himself. Sometimes he cursed her kind nature; you could never tell if you were truly special or if she was simply being polite. Lily stood and Neville greeted her with a kiss to the hand. Why didn't I do that? Archibald scolded himself.

"I do believe dinner is ready," Neville told them. Neville looked at his brother in the condescending way reserved especially for him. "Do you have any guests coming?"

Neville knew the answer was no. He just wanted to gloat. Wanted to show his older brother how wonderful he was. 'Look how wonderful my guest is, brother. Where's your guest?'

He was the true peacock in the room.

Archibald shook his head, a plaintiff smile masking his pain.

"Let's dine then."
ooo
"Why didn't you attend the ball?" Lily asked Archibald. They'd retired back to the library after dinner was finished. The dinner had been nice; their chef had traveled with them to spend the season in London. Archibald and Neville's father was with them. He was a kind, if soft spoken man. Neville had to take care of some work; urgent hospital business or something like that. Mr. Craven had not been feeling well and had already gone off to his chambers.

It had just been Lily and Archibald who retired to the parlor.

Archibald was acting so peculiar. Lily cursed her dress. She cursed her hair. It was as though she'd put on some costume that was horrifying to Archie. He wasn't treating her as Lily at all.

Archibald stared into his glass, "Nobody missed me, there."

"I missed you."

He shook his head. Lily hated when he was like this. Why did he think he was some sort of freak? Some kind of pariah. Because he is to them, she reminded herself. It was awful but true. Of course he didn't want their glares. Their whispers. Lily couldn't blame him for that, but she still missed him. Why couldn't he see that he was important to her? That he'd always be important to her.

He was her best friend.

"Are you letting Neville court you?"

Lily nearly spat up her wine.

"Court me?" Lily exclaimed. "Neville court me? Never!" Widely she shook her head no, glancing to make sure that he hadn't come into the room. "He's all right, I suppose. But not for me. He spent all dinner talking about himself and how smart he is. Like he had to assure himself of it all."

Lily saw amused grin on her friend's face. Finally.

She cursed herself, "Sorry, I let my tongue get away from me. He is your brother, after all."

"He wasn't always like this," Archibald said. "He used to be very shy, but ever since finding his knack in medicine, he's just been very happy to have something to brag about."

Lily looked up at him, smiling in spite of herself. She liked his company. Honest and truly he was the person she enjoyed spending her time with the most. But the way he looked at her was so peculiar, it was hard to put a name to. It wasn't adoration or worship or anything like that. It wasn't hungry or lustful... He looked sad, and she was not sure why. She hadn't meant to upset him. It was just dinner. She was not engaged to Neville. No, Lily would never do that. How could Archie even think it?

"I could understand if you did want him to court you," Archibald said. "He's smart, independent, and handsome. He got all the good genes. I did not."

Lily guffawed, "How can you say that?"

He didn't speak, just swirled his wine absentmindedly. Lily was feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.

"Did you think, even for a moment, that the reason I came here tonight wasn't to see Neville, it was to see you?"

The shocked look on his face seemed to stifle his ability to speak.

"God damnit, Archie!" She finally exploded. She knew that somewhere her etiquette teacher had just passed out but she did not care. At least he was listening now. "You sit around all day feeling sorry for yourself and thinking you don't have any friends or that no one wants to see you. Well, here I am, sitting right next to you being your friend and you scorn me and look at me like I am a villain!" She gave him a look, feeling her eyes welling with slight tears. "I am sorry if I upset you by coming here, Archie. But I really need my friend and I don't want you upset with me."

That was when Neville entered once more.

"Sorry, bit of a misunderstanding at the practice," Neville poured himself a glass of wine and sat in the chair between Lily and Archibald. "You look ill." He said to his brother.

Archibald drank his wine, "I'm fine."

Lily had hoped she wasn't as flushed. She regretted the outburst; it was badly done. But he needed to hear it. She hoped he wasn't too mad. Of course he's mad. Of course of course.

Lily looked away, staring at the book she'd left on the coffee table earlier. It was a collection of poems by Edgar Allen Poe, a favorite of her's.

Neville nodded at his, "Are you a fan of Poe's?"

"Oh yes," Lily said finally remembering her etiquette and forcing a smile.

Neville smirked, "Bit macabre."

"Not all of it," she said plainly. Her mind was not there. She wished to go home. She wished to leave.

Archibald cleared his throat, straightened a bit, and started to speak.

"It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me."

Lily peered over at him. She felt this nice warmth growing inside of her, encasing her heart and lungs and making it hard to breathe. Their eyes locked. They locked for a bit too long.

I'm sorry for yelling, she tried to say with them.

I'm sorry for making you upset, his seemed to say back.

"Annabel Lee," Lily smiled. "That's my favorite poem."

Archibald grinned, "I know." Without looking away, he took a sip from his glass.

Neville cleared his throat.

Lily sat back up instantly, aware of herself but feeling the urge to laugh.

"I should probably go back home soon," Lily announced. "Thank you all for the wonderful evening."

"I can take you," Neville said.

Lily spoke, "I brought my own coach, thank you." She stood, so they stood as well. "I had a lovely time."

Neville proved to be a gentleman and did in fact walk her to her coach. Archibald watched from the front stairs as his older brother helped Lily into her carriage.

All the while home she did not think of Neville.

She thought of his older brother.