Nothing But A Blood Stain

Chapter Two

The Outsider

Author's Note:

I don't own the Outsiders, all rights goes to S.E. Hinton. Warning: Character(s) may be out-of-character.

I looked at my younger brother who was idly playing with his food with a fork. The expression on his face hadn't changed much since our…brother came, still morbid, though he could hide it. That was more than a month ago and he's basically avoiding him like a plague. Though my other brother and brother didn't seem to notice too much, it was plainly obvious to me.

Then again, it would be understandable in his situation when considering the kid himself, the implications here and there. Dad never told us, I'm not gonna say that he was right not to do so, but he may have had good reason as to why. But maybe Dad was gonna tell all of us when he knew that we'd be able to handle it better, but only Mom already knew. Somehow I think she did, so if both our parents weren't gonna tell us then there's got be a reason behind it.

"Hey, c'mon an' eat, kiddo," I finally broke the silence.

He looked around in surprise but calmed down quickly,"Umm…I'm not hungry, Dare." He looked melancholically for his shirt in the living room and soon left the house with his friend up the drive way, wordlessly.

He hasn't been eating much, now. His brother and his brother still ate like pigs, though. It's not like him to do so. He's also been leaving the house sooner only because he doesn't want to see him. He'll work longer hours now or go a friend's house more often than before. At least he always told me where he was, unlike someone else I know.

My other brothers came into the kitchen and I gave them some bacon and eggs; which were devoured in no time. Allen stayed at Pony's old room, not that he was happy about it. He still didn't seem to like Allen so much, but they talked sometimes and they had a few classes together even though Allen was a year ahead. Since Soda's always gone off with his friends and parties, and Pony always walking off and going to the library or the movies, Allen was pretty much left alone in the house.

We could trust that he wasn't gonna do anything there; I know he doesn't have much friends since he's the new guy around. He doesn't know anyone here; no one here knows him; and no one here wants to know him. I'll admit that he still has a shifty feeling around him, but I think he just watches television or goes to sleep once he's done with homework. He doesn't do much.

Two-Bit brings them to school now instead of Soda. I can understand Soda's disdain towards Allen. He doesn't smile so much anymore, I don't hear him and Pony talk that much either. I know they still do but before, it was like every night. They would both talk until they were asleep, but now not so much anymore.

Soda's not himself ever since then, I know he'll try to hide it from us but even Steve told me something's up with him. I wonder what's going on in his mind about the whole thing. What does he really think of him?

I guess I should be more upset about this, but if I did, then what about Allen. Allen hasn't done anything wrong himself. It's understandable that he would resent him simply because; but it's not fair to Allen. If I were mad at him then both Soda and Pony would have a good excuse to hate him even more. As much as I wish he weren't, he still is our half-brother and nothing's gonna change that. That's also not fair to him. I'm not saying that I like him, but he's family regardless. And I'm not gonna refuse a home to any of my family members. Besides, there's not so much of us Curtises left out there.

I wonder how Allen dealt with it all; ya'know, about his very existence. The fact that he was technically never supposed to have been born in the first place. Him, having to live without a father and never knowing who he really is. And him just him being here, not only seeing us, but all of our pictures too, and must remind him it all. Pictures of when both mom and dad were alive, that is. Even though he lives with us, we basically exclude him in our lives. He doesn't like eating with us (though the same could be said the other way around), and I doubt he's ever gone to DX. I know that Steve hates him a lot, but that's not no surprise at all.

...That must suck.

I'm glad none of us had to deal with that, I know it sounds wrong and it is. But I really wonder how we'd do.

In any case, one of them has to tell Allen about tomorrow. But that's their decision, maybe Soda doesn't want him to be there so he might not say anything.

A pretty red-head girl walked up to me in school today. "Hey there, my name's Cherry." She had a very wide grin, probably the first directed at me since I got here.

I think that was the first time I really smiled since I got here too. "Hello Cherry, my name's Allen..." (Oh that's right) "Sanders, my name is Allen Sanders."

"Okay, Allen. It's nice meeting you." She looked around the classroom, still smiling. "Are you a friend of Ponyboy?"

(Hell no!) "Umm..." I didn't want her to worry or anything. She was Ponyboy's friend and even if he doesn't like me, at least he's trying. Which is more than I can say for someone else.

As of now, no one knows I'm their brother. I don't think any of them has told anyone and I certainly haven't. To be honest, it was probably for the best. I may not know so much about them, but I know the last thing they want is pity. And like it or not, they are my brothers. I want to be able help them some how, I really do.

"Yeah, I was staying here for the summer but my parents had to keep me here. I don't know why I didn't just go back to California, but they're always so busy."

I shrugged as her grin turned into a curious one, "So, how do you know Ponyboy?"

I thought about it for a good amount of time even before having a conversation like this to anyone. "Well, my parents are good friends of theirs', and I'm staying at their house for the year."

She looked worried, but not for me. Financially speaking, we aren't doing so well. To them, it seemed like money was always tight and was bad enough without me. Damn I feel so bad about it. It makes me feel even worse knowing I can't really help them. Why? 'Cause I don't really have any talents; not ones that would matter, at least.

"My parents are paying for my bills, though," I lied, I'm fine with that.

She smiled lightly and looked at the clock. Class was about to start, "Allen, me and some of my friends are gonna come and watch a movie, tomorrow. Do you want to come? We'll be at this place called the Nightly Double." (Why don't you ask Ponyboy?) I thought but when I said it, it sounded much less bitter.

"Sure, I'll come by if I can."

"Soda," I came up to my best friend with some shitty news.

"Not now, Steve," he was currently pre-occupied with a pretty girl with auburn hair and eyes to match.

A spark lit inside me and my eyes narrowed, "Soda, I need to talk to you, now!" I forcibly pulled him away from the girl; both of their faces paralleled in disdain. I brought him far enough that no one could here us; he was real pissed at me for that. But he's been flirting with even more girls than before. And it was more than a lot then, now it's like he never stops. He says he's also going out for more parties and shit like that which really pisses me off. I know Soda, I know that he loves a good party, but he gets tired of them pretty quickly; he wasn't really a party-type person in that sense.

"What, Steve!" his eyes were ablaze.

(Since when did he care for any of those dumb broads around here?)

I didn't like his new attitude so much at all, but I needed to tell him something, now.

"Look man, I don't know any other way of telling you this but," I looked at him, he crossed his arms and his face was grim. He obviously didn't believe that I had anything important to tell him which only worsened my mood.

"Get it over with Steve." I grimaced at my buddy.

"I hear the Boss Man's gonna let you go."

His eyes rushed at me like gun shots. "What?"

He was furious now, I don't think I've ever since him like this. "Why would he do that, if it weren't for me; he'd be outta business right now!"

(Just you? ...Alright, Soda!) "Man, what the hell's up with you?" He looked incredulously at me. I winced a little, "Besides, you wouldn't have to worry about it if you actually did your job."

He erupted at me, "What is that supposed to mean?" I scowled back at him, "As if you didn't already know."

That got him really pissed and he knocked me down. I wasn't gonna take that from anybody, not even from Soda, so I punched him back and tackled him into the ground. And we both went on fighting and hollering off at each other.

...

Finally I had enough, I said trying to be apologetic, "I'm serious, Soda. What the hell's up?" but I couldn't help but glare intensely at him.

Soda's just not the same person. He's not the Soda I know, the one that was my best friend for more than half of my whole life. The one whose eyes laughed with recklessness, the one who could always leave you grinning, no matter what. The one who was without a care in the world and lived life to the fullest.

That Sodapop Patrick Curtis, not this one. ...This one...Just who the hell is he?

Whoever he is, I don't know him...

He didn't so much as respond. Instead he gave me his hatred, utterly marring that handsome face of his. Something I've never seen from him before, not even to the Socs when they nearly killed off Ponyboy. Soda didn't hate anybody, that's just not him, right?

I hated that feeling, and it felt like it was eating away at my soul.

Oh Shit! I finally remembered. Damn, I can't believe I just did that! Today...It's early in October. I can't believe I forgot!

Finally sensing my disposition, he stopped his glare and looked real sorry too. I think he forgot too. "Look man, I'm sorry-" he cut me off as if he wasn't really listening to me much, "Nah, I'm sorry. I just...don't know anything anymore..." He stopped there, it was probably too painful to go any further.

"Hey, c'mon. I'll drive you home, buddy." Not a word left his mouth, he was shaking a little until I put my hand on his shoulder. A quiet, "Thanks," was all he could muster.

Damn this day must've sucked for him. It had to be on this day, too. And I wish I got him something better, but it'll do. Soda never actually got one simply because he always refused to use it like Pony did. But now, I know the both of them are not afraid to use it...

The Boss Man better not fire him, especially not on this day when tomorrow is...

One day later...

(I hate this day, I want it to end.)

I stormed out of the house as quickly as I could, Ponyboy ran after me and caught up pretty easily. (Damn, mybrother'sfast.) I was tackled onto the ground.

"Where are you going, Allen?" I pushed him off of me, ignoring the fact that he actually looked like he cared. "Why do you care anyway? Just leave me alone, Ponyboy!"

He got mad at me now, "Why do I care?" he was hysterical. "Because you're my brother! That's why!" he hollered off at me.

I looked away and softly said, "Am I, Ponyboy? Am I really?" I looked at him gravely and he froze up, only making me more riled up. "Does this mean that you approve of what your - our dad did?" He stared at me blankly...Speechless...

"That's what I thought..." I left there, quietly stomping on the ground with my head hung low. "Hey, Allen..." I stopped but didn't looked back at my brother. "I don't care...I want you to be there at my birthday...Our family wouldn't be whole without you..."

(...Thanks, Ponyboy...)

"Whatever..." was all I said. I then left and this time he didn't go after me.

It's not like I wasn't coming back...

I was headed towards this place called the Nightly Double. Maybe I could find Cherry, if it's not too late right now. I asked this guy in a leather jacket where it was, all he did was look at me funny. Taking special notice to my hair and shirt. I was wearing a blue madras shirt, Darry really didn't like me wearing it so much, but I wore today anyway. My hair was pretty long, almost as long as my brother's I didn't like having any of that hair oil on it.

He seemed really confused, I don't know why. In the end, he told me where to find it, but I he seemed like he really didn't want to say anything to me.

It was a long way there, and I couldn't help but think back at my family.

...

They hate me. They all do. That goes without saying.

Ponyboy, Darrel, definitely Steve, but especially Sodapop. When I heard that the last remnants of my family were impoverished and lived in a run-down neighborhood at the poor side of a city, I wasn't too excited, to say the least. What did I expect? Much worse; I never thought people like them could be like this. Even though their parents are dead, they are still very much a family. I didn't know families could get so close, especially not a family like this.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at all. I mean, from the way they reacted when I told them, they were obviously very close to their – our parents.

...I miss my old friends...

"Hey Allen! I'm so glad you made it." Cherry smiled at me and I returned the favor. She looked behind me, "Where's Ponyboy?"

I tried looking concerned, "I don't know." (And I really don't care.)

I introduced myself to Cherry's friends and they did the same for me. We all sat down to watch the movie...

Paying almost no attention to the movie, I couldn't help but keep thinking about them...

(I'm not a part of their family anyway...That much I know is true. I remember the moment I stepped into room. They were all laughing and having a great time at Sodapop's birthday party. Strange...I wasn't told anything about it.

And then they all see me...Eyes dull, smiles drop, the laughter dies, and the mood is forever tainted...I know when I'm not wanted; since I got here, that's all the time. This time's no different, in that sense.

...I don't get them. And they just don't dig me at all...

I'm supposed to be their brother, right? Then why do I feel like such an Outsider?