After He helped Bofur inside and into his favorite chair, Bilbo excused himself curtly.
"Get that filthy thing out of here!" He ordered the three shocked dwarves whom stood staring at him with wide eyes.
Saying nothing they did as they were told and tugged the bleating animal through the smial with much effort just before Bilbo called after them: "And be back as soon as possible!"
Bofur cast them all a nervous smile and shrug and said nothing in reply when Nori mouthed: "He's insane!" just before they disappeared out of Bag End.
Though his lower back ached terribly Bofur knew, by his long-term loves demeanor, that it was in his best interest to suffer silently as he listened to Bilbo stumble around the mess in the kitchen.
"My mother's finest china?" Bilbo called coldly, "Really, Bo?"
Bofur grimaced; Not from the throbbing pain, but from the memory of he and Nori deciding on playing a drunken game of dish-tossing and musical chairs.
Whether or not this had occurred before or after Dwalin had gone off to lay nude in the old bats garden, he knew not, but Bofur did know and clearly recalled that in the end the game did not end well for some of Bilbo's cherished family heirlooms.
"…Not to mention that bloody sheep left a mess in the bed room," Bilbo was saying, "and the entire place reeks and…what-the-hell is this?"
Knowing what Bilbo spied splattered all over one of the kitchen walls Bofur, looking over his shoulder, couldn't help but snort; "Oh…um, Nori wanted to try his hand at cookin'…it didn't go so well."
Bilbo reappeared with a steaming cup of tea and held it out to Bofur; the hobbit's blue eyes filled with disappointment.
"We've talked about this," Bilbo sighed as he took a seat opposite his partner, "You know that. I've never minded when you've had visitors but Bo, this is probably the worst condition I've ever seen my home in."
Bofur grunted and cast an annoyed look at Bilbo whose shoulders slumped momentarily.
"Our home," Bilbo corrected, and Bofur took a long sip of tea, "Still…I do wish you would just adhere to a few rules."
Bofur sighed and after taking another sip of tea muttered: "Bilbo…ye just knocked my arse off a roof, the lads and I will get this place cleaned up all tippity-topped, so just…spare me the lecture fer now."
"Lecture!?" Bilbo exclaimed, jumping to his feet, and Bofur inwardly winced.
"I only wish I didn't have to lecture you! AGAIN!"
Bofur groaned; his aching head and back were in no mood for another squabble. Another argument added to, from what Bofur recalled, the several they had had over the past weeks.
"Ach! Lower yer damn voice!" He snapped nonetheless, "all I'm sayin' is that yer being a bit…Bilbo ye tend to nag!"
Bilbo scoffed, placed his hand on hips, and glowered at the uncomfortable dwarf; "Well I wouldn't!" He declared, "If you would just…not insist on being so sloppy!"
"Look!" Bofur moaned, "I told ye and I'm tellin' ye this mess will be dealt with I promise!"
Bilbo inhaled sharply, glared a moment more, and then threw his hands up before letting them flop to his sides.
"Very well," He conceded, "I've got to run some errands, I'll be out for a while. I've got to run to the mayor's office first and then~"
"What? Why?" Bofur asked, as he took a large gulp from the cup, "Ye have been goin' there a lot."
Bilbo made an exasperated sound; "You leave messes just as much as you don't listen," He sighed, "I've got to meet the deputy mayor, you know, Wil Whitfoot. About the book! The one I've told you about."
Bofur, finishing the tea, staggered to his feet and observed Bilbo suspiciously for a moment, before nodding and hobbling toward the kitchen.
"Oh-don't-you-dare!" Bilbo countered suddenly, following after the aching dwarf.
"What? Don't I dare what?" Bofur asked as he placed the cup in a tub to be washed, "I didn't say anythin.'"
Bilbo watched Bofur limp around, gathering dirty dishes, before crossing his arms and leaning upon the doorframe.
"Your jealousy," Bilbo groaned, "Bo…He's only a childhood friend and~"
"The one that, uh, made ye realize you preferred the touch of other males, aye?" Bofur interrupted as he began filling the basin with water, "Sure he's a friend who has asked fer yer help in puttin' together some book but ever since ye took the offer ye've been away a lot; and at all hours too."
Bilbo felt his heart pounding yet found he didn't want to argue the issue further; In truth, he hated himself for having told Bofur anything of his childhood at the moment.
Not long after Bofur had come to live with him, the hobbit had recounted his juvenile dalliance with the prosperous and respectable hobbit, Wil Whitfoot. Of course, Bilbo wasn't surprised, when Bofur's jealousy flared even hotter when he further revealed that the two hobbits still maintained a good, platonic, friendship.
Platonic or not, even with his reassurances, Bilbo had to remind himself that Bofur was still a regular dwarf and his jealousy wasn't something that would vanish easily. Especially since Bilbo refused to stop speaking to Whitfoot when Bofur had order him to do so.
As of late, Bofur's inclination toward possessiveness had grown almost unbearable ever since Bilbo had taken the job offer.
When they'd had a late evening editing and collaborating, Bilbo would return to Bag End to find Bofur waiting for him, with accusatory eyes, outside on the bench.
It was the reason, among other events, that had led to many heated fights recently.
The surprise He had for his partner, however, quelled Bilbo's deepening despair and almost as soon as it had started, his anger faded.
Bofur had prospered well but still, in the years that had thus passed, Bilbo could tell the dwarf missed his kin terribly even when he didn't speak of Bombur or his friends left behind in Erebor.
Bilbo approached softly; His hand rubbing the lump on Bofur's lower back, He smiled to himself when Bofur stopped washing dishes and moaned in pleasure.
"Do you still have some of that salve? That Oin made?" Bilbo inquired as he began gently massaging Bofur's entire back, "It should ease your pain."
Bofur chuckled, turned fully around, and bent to kiss Bilbo whom returned the kiss gently.
"Aye," Bofur explained as he fiddled with Bilbo's lovely hair, "I'll get to that after I get this place descent. We did go a bit too far last night."
Bilbo smirked but said nothing; "Do what you will. I have caterers coming in about four hours and…I've something of a surprise for you."
Bofur's eyebrow arched; "Bilbo," He said cautiously, "What are ye on about? Ye know I hate surprises."
Bilbo pulled free of Bofur and turned to leave; "You'll love this one."