Day Five
Dear Alice,
I have no new emails. Do you hate me? Was it because I was too much temptation for Jasper? Do you hate me for almost making him slip-up? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I hate myself Alice. It's been 127 hours and 3 minutes since he told me he didn't want me. Is it okay to want to die Alice? Is it okay to hate myself? Charlie is really worried about me. He said he was going to send me to Renee. I don't want to go. You cant go to Jacksonville. He cant go there. I have to stay here in Forks. For as long as I live. How ever long that is. I still have nightmares. I still cry none stop. Don't worry about me Alice. I'll find a way to make this stop. I am trying to put up a good front for Charlie's sake, but he isn't buying it anymore. Jacob Black came over today. He has gotten really big. Jake is nice to me. He talks to me. The hole is a little smaller when I'm with Jake. But, it's still there. And the pain is still there. Please Alice. Come back. I need you. I cant live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Six
Dear Alice,
I went to the hospital today. I fell down and cut my arm. Charlie came home and saw me staring at my arm. It didn't hurt. I was bleeding a lot though. I half expected Carlisle to be there. But, of course, he wasn't. It's been 156 hours and 23 minutes since he told me he didn't want me. Will I ever stop crying Alice? Will you ever reply? I know you hate me. I know he hates me. But I love you. I love him. I'm dehydrated. Because I am crying so much. The nightmares are getting worse. My throat hurts. I scream too much at night. I have decided not to sleep anymore. If vampires can do it, so can I. Please Alice. Come back. I need you. I cant live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Seven
Dear Alice,
There was an attack today. A body was found in the woods. Charlie said it looked like the blood had been suck right out of it. It is Victoria. I think she is coming for me. Don't worry though. I want her to find me. Then she can kill me. Do you think I could go to heaven? Maybe I wont hurt there. Do you think the hole in my chest would go away if I went there? It's been 187 hours and 15 minutes since he told me he didn't want me. I haven't slept in 43 hours. I'm not tired. School is hard. I can barely stay awake during class. I've skipped Biology. The last time I was in that room, he was with me. Please Alice. Come back. I need you. I cant live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Eight
Dear Alice,
Jacob came over again today. We had a fight. He said something about him. I think he knows what you guys are. I yelled at him. He ran out of the house. My hole got bigger. It hurts more. It's been 205 hours and 39 minutes since he told me he didn't want me. I want to die Alice. But I don't want to hurt Charlie and Renee. But I know I'm a huge burden on them. Maybe it would be better for them if I was gone. Alice. I cant take it anymore. What life do I have? I don't talk unless I'm asked a question. I don't start or continue conversations. I barely eat. I think I've lost 5 pounds. Could you please come back now? Please Alice. Come back. I need you. I cant live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
A/N OMG! Thank you to all who favorite this story! That is so sweet. I'm starting to run out of ideas for her to email. I do plan to put more Jacob in, but I'm Team Edward so this is hard for me to do. So please review and maybe give me some ideas? I loved the way Bella emailed Alice in New Moon (The Movie) and that is what gave me the idea to write this. Hope you all like it and please review! It helps get the next chapter up!
-Esmefan1-Elissa.