Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a beautiful she-cat. Her name was Dovewing.
One day, Dovewing was texting her boyfriend, Tigerheart.
Tigerheart- love u
Dovewing- want 2 get married?
Tigerheart- we r 2 young wait a few more moons
Dovewing- o k
Tigerheart- bye sweetie
Then, Bumblestripe came up to Dovewing, and started scratching her.
"DOVEWING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY MATE!" He screeched furiously.
Dovewing just glared at him, then padded away to see Bramblestar.
"Right there?" Squirrelflight asked.
"Yes! That feels so good!" Bramblestar meowed.
Dovewing raced into the leader's den with a look of sheer horror on her face.
The couple were sharing tongues, and Squirrelflight's tongue rasped over her leader's ear.
"Well, that got rid of that itch!" Mewed Bramblestar, standing up to stretch.
He plopped down on his lava-red beanbag, turning on the TV. A show about kits being princesses in cartoon forms came on.
"Oh, no!" Said a dark cream she-kit with a pink tiara.
"We have to stop the evil Tigerstar from capturing the unicorn cat!"
Then, she padded over to a cat that looked similar to Tigerstar.
"AHHHHH! IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Bramblestar screamed, thrashing his limbs.
Squirrelflight switched it on to a channel about kits playing in a river.
"Look, Waterkit! It's a brown tabby tom's head floating in the river!" Squealed a light gray tom-kit.
Suddenly, the head burst up, and a cartoon character that looked like Hawkfrost emerged.
"MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA!" Screeched the Hawkfrost thing.
"Die little kits, DIE!"
"No! It's Hawkfrost! I SAID TURN IT OFF, SQUIRRELFLIGHT!" Bramblestar sobbed.
Squirrelflight turned the TV off.
Then, Bramblestar was so utterly horrified and scared, that he exploded. That caused Squirrelflight to faint and then that caused Dovewing to run away, only to fall into a pool of bubbling lava and die.
Then, Blossomfall emerged from her room, texting on her phone and talking on her other phone.
Then Briarlight dragged herself to the scene and laughed until her head shot up into the air and exploded, creating fireworks.
Then Millie screamed her dead daughter's name and then her face caved in, and Graystripe threw confetti on her and all the cats had a Yay Millie is Dead party. Then Silverstream came down and lit Millie on fire. Millie's ghost came out of her body and picked up Leafpool, dropping her from 10100101010 miles in the air. Leafpool landed on the ground and blood splattered everywhere.
Feathertail came from the Tribe of Endless Hunting's party and started break-dancing until she spun on her head so hard it flew right off.
Then, Crowfeather came and started eating her and Leafpool.
Bluestar came and froze time while Oakheart kissed her on the cheek and they started making out.
Q: On a scale of one to ten, how funny was this?