Loki didn't look up. He was reclining on what looked like an extremely out-of-place and fancy bed reading a book. I'm a mouthy bitch. Absolutely so. Always have something to say but this time...nothing. I was happy I'd been able to dream this far, just to see him this close. I didn't think we'd actually speak to each other at all, really. Because he's...well...he's...
"Did you come this far to simply gawk?" He spoke without looking up. Finally his eyes flicked up and looked right into mine. Goddamn, they were just as green as I imagined. My heart hammered in my chest, and I was aware of holding my breath.
"I knew of your coming. They underestimate me." He said. He sounded bored.
I had to laugh at that. I remarked, "They're a bunch of self-righteous d-bags around here. Good LORD, talking about strong-smellin' bullshit…" I looked around uneasily, this place felt ugly. I thought I heard someone scream from way, way far away.
"I know your name." He said smoothly. He got up and walked towards me. My breath caught in my throat. He looked really, really intimidating and a lot bigger than I expected.
"How...that bitchy chick they sent out for me on the bridge said you don't..."
"Oh yes!" His eyes lit up in a way that actually put sliver fear in me. There was cray-cray in there. Oh honey...
"I know who you are." He stood just inches from the force field. His cell was elevated, and he seemed even taller. He crouched down in front of me and I held my breath again. Holy shit, he was scary-beautiful. Being close to him was like being close to a wild animal. "Lyn." He said my name in a low, almost whisper. "I know you. I have heard you." He licked his lips slowly and stared a hole through me, grinning the entire time.
"Sumbitch." I whispered. Throat was dry, dry...he was every bit as lovely as I imagined. The sound of my name coming out of his mouth was beyond any thrill ever. I had NO idea what to say to him next. I closed my eyes, breathed in deep...and then the dream ended.
I opened them and I was still there. The hell?
"Does my proximity displease you?" He smiled fully now. A very toothy smile. He was trying to be creepy.
I gathered my wits, witless idiot that I was and told him, "No. In fact I'd be fine with you even closer. I'd be fine being right in that cell with you."
"I think you would change your mind rather quickly." He said, the creepy smile falling away and his tone flat.
"No sir. I'd share all my fish biscuits with only you."
His brow furrowed and he seemed to drop his scary act entirely for a second, probably trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about. Then he gave me an insincere grin and said, "You are undoubtedly a fool, woman."
"And YOU are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Oops. That just kinda fell out.
"Is this why they arranged to have you come to me? To stroke my ego? Do they think me that simple?" His expression changed to one of anger and he growled, "Who was it that brought you here? Who met you on the Bifrost?"
"Well, the first person I met was that tall guy with the sword and I think I pissed him off. THEN, about halfway up that weird bridge an uppity gal with dark hair showed up..."
"Ah...so you met the Lady Sif." He spat the words, as if the name offended him. Looks like they were never close.
"Yeah...and I definitely pissed her off! She gave me some shit about your brother wanting you to talk to someone from Midgard that cared about you and it might help you and yadda-yadda-ya."
This was apparently the wrong thing to say to His Lovely Self, because his face turned into a mask of total rage and he cut off anything else I was intending to say.
"So you are a pawn in Thor's game?"
Whoa. "No! I just ended up here! I'm not on their side..."
And then the Diva unleashed...
"Leave. Now. I have no need to speak with anyone from Midgard."
I sighed heavily and blurted, "Aw come on, baby. Don't be like that. I'm passed out drunk outside in a rainstorm dreaming all this shit. Least you can do is be a little receptive..."
"How dare you refer to me with such familiarity!" His voice was like a stabbing dagger. I felt like should have grabbed an anti-bitch shield from sombody on the way down.
"I'm sorry...LOKI. I'm not trying to be rude to you..."
"Be gone! You make no sense and I have no interest in conversing with you!" If he was a cat he would have been hissing.
"Aw honey...Loki...please don't be pissed..."
"Take your vulgar Midgardian colloquialisms and leave my presence! I shall not speak to you a second longer."
I thought I might have to feel if my head was still actually attached to my body. It was. Barely.
After this tirade of bitchery he stalked back over to his bed and flounced on it, then snatched up his book and started reading again. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't expect much, really. I mean, I know how he is, I've paid enough attention. He's not Prince Charming, no matter how pretty he was. But I'm stubborn, and I'm stupid about him. I stayed right where I was. I wasn't leaving until those guys with the spears came back to get me. I was going to drink up the sight of his beautiful face for as long as this dream held up, even if he was being a freakin' diva, and I'll be damned if that verbal ass-kicking wasn't a little sexy.
He pretended to ignore my staring while I ignored his ignoring. Finally I said "Whatcha reading?"
He didn't look up, just kept on pretending to read that book.
"Lovecraft? Stephen King? Shakespeare?"
Nothing.
"OK fine. I'll just watch you then. Don't mind watching you. You're easy enough on the eyes." I pulled out another smoke. How the hell did my cigarettes come with me anyway? Whatever, this was definitely a smoking situation. "You care if I smoke? Sif didn't like it when I smoked. I think the smell bothered her. I made sure to blow plenty of it her way."
Still nothing.
"Got ashes all over your fancy bridge. Flipped the butt right on over the side. Figure that's a fine 'fuck you'." I rambled. Did he just smile a little?
I blew out a stream of smoke and watched him turn a page. I saw his finger move just a little. The light in his room was so bright there was very little you didn't notice.
I took another drag and blew out a stream of solid green smoke.
"Oh...what?" I stopped just short of flinging my cigarette and looked at it. The smoke issuing from the tip was the same bluish-white it always was.
I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye, and Loki had looked up at me with the faintest grin.
"Did you just do that?" Green smoke floated around over my head. He didn't answer, but kept looking at me. My next drag came out bright blue.
What's he doing? I can't even...
The next time, I made sure to french inhale. The smoke was a brilliant shade of red. I smiled at him flirtatiously. I probably looked like a serial killer.
He put down his book. "So you upset the Lady Sif."
Oh! Conversation!
"Yeah! Actually I think I might have made her teary, bringing up Thor's little gal down on Midgard and all."
That brought a big smile to his pretty lips. His smile was so intoxicating. He got up and walked back up to the force field of his cell. "Why would you do such a thing?"
"She made some insinuations in your direction I took exception to. She was pretty fucking unhappy having to bring me here, ya know. So was Heimdall. I think she would have really liked to throw my ass off the edge of that bridge but...nope! And here I am."
"You defend my honor. How quaint." He crouched down again front of me. It gave me shivers being that close to him, even with the sparkly forcefield in the way all I wanted to do was touch him.
"I'd give her a kick in the ass for you."
He slid down to his knees in a rather seductive motion...dry mouth again! He knew exactly what he was doing.
"You are quite taken with me." His voice was very amused. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "Though I cannot understand why. I would destroy your world and all in it if given the chance. I have tried once already. You do not hold this against me?"
"Loki, Midgard ain't all bad. Now, if you came down there, I'd be happy to show you the better side of it."
"Would you now? And what would you show me?"
I tried not to ogle him. Really. He was there in those snug leather pants, right in front of me, breathe, breathe, holy crap, I got a lot to say, let's not be a creep…
"There's a lot of magic up here, but in Midgard, everyday magic is what makes it all worth it for us. I'd take you to concerts. Everything from heavy metal to the symphony. We'd sit around and watch the sun set over the lake. Take a walk on the waterway. Shop at the Tiffany's they just put in The Square. Have some homemade tamales from the lady down the street. I'd buy you some of the best damn chocolate ever made. We'd watch Downton Abbey, go to the movies, take a drive down to the coast and eat at the most awesome Italian joint in the state. I'd treat you like the king you are and love every second of your company. I'd share every experience I could with you."
"And what would you ask in return from me? Such hospitality usually comes at a price."
"Free and clear. I'd break you out of here right now and take you with me if I could."
"Nothing? Not even my...affections?" He smiled seductively at me. I knew what he was getting at, but as attractive as I found him, that's not all it was about for me. There was more to me, and to him. I felt compelled to just be there for him in some kind of way. I'm not sure what all I could do for someone that comes straight out of the myths of our world, but I wanted so much to try.
"You wouldn't have to give out any affections unless you wanted to. Hell, I know I'm not the best-lookin' gal out there. I cuss like a sailor, I'm impatient, loud, mostly crass, I sure don't compare with the goddess-gals up here..."
He snorted derisively at that and rolled his eyes.
"...but I care about what you have to say. I'd want to hear about where you've been, what you've seen...how the fuck you turn my cigarette smoke pretty colors. I'm interested in YOU, sir. You're gorgeous. Make no mistake about it, but I'm all about what's inside that head of yours...and that heart. Fuck what they say here. It's not frozen. It's never too late as long as you got someone that gives a shit."
He actually looked interested by now. I took a breath and kept on.
"I could give a rat's ass about your brother and your father and all whatever glory they think they got. They've got all the best treasure of Asgard locked up in this box, right here."
His hand now ran along the force field in front of him causing strange patterns to appear there, "You realize if you released me from this cell, things may not turn out as you envision."
I got up as close to him as I could. I wanted to be face to face with him, eye to eye.
"I realize, honey, that you could fuck me over the second I let you out of here. I'm a big girl. I know danger and risks when I see them. Some things are just...worth it."
"Your desire for me is that strong." He actually seemed surprised somewhere deep down. His eyes suddenly looked like they belonged to a young boy. A hurt and confused one. He looked so young, even though he was eons old.
"Loki, I'm not sure what it is about you that turns my gears, but whatever it is, yes, it's that strong. I'm here for you. Not for your brother, not for your kingdom, not for the greater good or to fulfill whatever bullshit plans everybody has. I'm here because I wanted to see you so bad I must have willed myself into it. I'd do anything I could to bring you happiness."
At first he didn't answer. Has nobody ever told him he was important to them? Not ever? Has anyone ever listened to him like his time was precious to them? Damn. No wonder he's been in a hell of a bad mood for so long. I'd feel like tearing shit up too.
"This is foolishness." He said, and waved a hand dismissively at me.
"Yep. That's me. A love-fool. It's all for you though. If you ever see your way out of this hole, and can make it back down to Earth...Midgard...come find me. Please. I'd welcome some more magic in my life."
At this point I heard those doors open again and saw a silhouette I really didn't want to see. Big tall fella, flowy cape. Oh boy...
"Looks like visiting hours are over at the County." I remarked. My heart broke at the sight of Loki's face. He knew it was Thor without even seeing him. Any animation melted away as he withdrew back into himself and up came that angry, sullen mask again.
"Hey!" I said to capture Loki's attention. I put my hand up to tough the force field. It felt warm and buzzy. "If I never see you again, this will be one of the fondest memories of my life. I hope I do see you again though. Someday."
Slowly and miraculously, Loki's hand rose and he pressed it against mine as the approaching footfalls reached us.
"It is time to go now." A deep voice said.
I felt an odd warmth pass through to my hand, and strange, golden patterns formed where our hands touched.
"Someday." Loki whispered, and then abruptly got up and stalked across the room, forgoing the bed and sitting down on the floor beside it, blocking out any view of his brother.
"You're a real wet blanket, man." I said, feeling true disappointment. I turned around to face the guy behind me. Thor stood there looking like a big load of doom.
"You must go back now. Come with me." He reached out a hand which I didn't take.
"Yeah, yeah." I turned back to where Loki was. I could only see the top of his head over the bed. "You COULD sit and talk to your brother for awhile. Ya know, just talk. I take it y'all don't do much of that here. Screaming and belittling and hard feelings are like more...Godly or some shit?"
Thor looked down at his feet, then up at where his brother sat in palpable anger. "Loki is beyond reasoning with." he said quietly.
"If so, then why am I here?" Thor's eyes shifted from Loki to the floor. "Daddy doesn't know I'm here does he?" Silence and some shuffly-feet action. Dudes are all the same. "Uh-oh! Someone's being bad!" I laughed. "Man, you got some kind of love for your little brother, don't ya? Too bad you don't get who's attention he really needs. Not like I'm complaining though. I really dig your brother, man. Like, reeeaally." I looked back to see what Loki was up to. I was surprised to see his eyes peeking over the edge of the bed. Narrowed eyes, taking apart absolutely everything in their path. Honey didn't miss anything, especially the shit you let slip.
"I am afraid my brother does not return your affection." He replied.
"You know what, Thor? I don't really care. I feel how I feel, he feels how he feels. Whatever. It is what it is. If I can't get in the cell with Loki there, then get me outta here." With, that I started walking back up the hall, but gave Loki one last glance before I passed completely by his cell. I was honestly startled to see him right there up close to the force field, and also a version of him still sitting on the floor by the bed. How had he got up there that fast without me seeing him move? How was he in two places at once? He mouthed what looked like 'Someday' again at me. The last I saw of him, both versions of him were wearing the same secretive, and rather disquieting grin. I expected Thor to flinch or have some kind of reaction as he walked past the version of Loki standing right up close to the edge of the cell, but he acted like he didn't even see him.
This dream was fucking weird. This place was fucking weird.
I followed Thor the rest of the way out. I had nothing else to say to him. When we got back up all those million flights of stairs...good lord...I saw something that looked like a horse-drawn carriage. He got in and motioned for me to follow.
"Where's Sif?" I asked. "She's not gonna walk me back out there?"
"Lady Sif expressed to me that she would rather not be in your presence again." Thor said curtly.
"Shit, and here I thought we were BFF's." I gave him the most insincere smile I could muster.
Thor looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept whatever it was to himself. Not like I really gave a crap what he was upset about.
I got in the carriage and we pulled on outta Asgard. "I saw Thor glancing around nervously, like he was trying to be inconspicuous. He was so bad at it.
"Do you ever visit Loki?"
"Loki wants to be left alone." He said, staring out at the passing scenery.
"Do you WANT to leave Loki alone?"
Thor looked at me with these big, sad eyes and said, "Did you not see how he was? I would like nothing more than to have my brother back. To let him out of that cell and enjoy his company again..." he trailed off. I could tell the dude was hurting, but didn't feel like giving him much of a break. That's all this guy ever got was breaks.
"Then quit being little bitch about it. Goddamn. You bring me up here...what the hell did you think I was going to do? Miraculously heal your God of a brother? Shit, I have problems getting my own life together!"
"You care for him. You know the things he's done, and despite this you still care for him. You speak to us with hostility, but only out of love for him. Out of some sense of protection." He turned to face me directly, "Heimdall has told me of the love you declare for Loki in your heart, that it is unconditional and fierce. I see that this is true. I had hoped that Loki would benefit from such spirit. Alas, I fear I have only worsened his condition."
"Thor. I'm crazy about your brother, but I can't fix him. Nobody anywhere on any fucking...planet, realm, what-the-hell-ever is gonna fix all this but YOU and YOUR DADDY. Get it? Until then though, I'm all about Loki. Not you, your Daddy or your big-ass pipe-organ of a palace. I'd come up here every damn DAY and talk to Loki. I'd do anything for Loki, but dude, the fixing part is between you all."
At this point we were pulling up to the NSA of Asgard, Mr. Heimdall See-All himself.
"Lady Lyn. Please do not think us heartless. We only want Loki back with us again. We love him as well. Make no mistake about that."
"What I think don't mean shit, Thor. Just take care of him. I mean it. Because if anything happens to him, dude...I'm serious, I'll find some way to take it out of your ass." I turned my back on him and went right on past Heimdall.
"Put me back." I said, and he happily made it so.
I woke up at dawn with a headache and lying half in and half out of the water. The first thing I saw was that damn shit-covered statue of the Midgard Serpent.
"What the fuck was in that wine? I dreamed I went to Asgard and visited Loki, and it was realistic!" The statue didn't answer me.
Rubbing my head, I got up and stumbled along home. Two big ravens made snarly sounds at me from the top of the gazebo nearby. "Not so loud fellas!" I whispered. It even hurt to laugh. I made for the cover of the trees, and hoping for someday.