Just how good is good? Part 2
"You should warm down longer; you're not doing your muscles any favors stopping like that." Ray castigates Brett as he comes to a sudden stop at the end of his run.
'That never gets old, I suppose you've been warming down for the last five minutes?" His voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know it is really not cool how much faster you can go on those things." Brett points to Ray's running legs.
"Yeah it's all upside, good parking and the ability to out run you." He chuckels quietly as they leave the track and walk over to Ray's car.
"Soooo........ I have some news." Brett is waiting for Ray to change his prosthetics from the ones he ran in to a pair for walking in.
"You guy's are having a baby?" Ray looks up at Brett smiling quizzically.
'What…..how did you know that? Yeah, but that was not going to be the news. How did you know? Caro swore me to secrecy until the end of next month, when did she tell you?" Brett asks clearly a little flustered.
"She didn't tell me, it was a guess. I'm really happy for you man. When is she due?"
"The end of July, listen you can't tell anyone, it's too early. How did you guess?"
"I am a doctor. It wasn't too difficult to work out, seriously I am really excited for you guy's and old Uncle Ray will be available for babysitting any time." Sliding off the back board of his car, new prosthetics attached he reaches to embrace Brett in congratulations. "Okay lets get out of here I am famished."
Each with a hot coffee and having ordered breakfast they split the newspaper and occasionally point out an interesting article or piece of information.
"Oh hey you said you had some news." Ray breaks the silence.
Looking up from the newspaper Brett looks Ray directly in the eyes. "Yeah, I do. I don't know if it is welcome or not." He reaches into his wallet and pulls out the piece of paper Neela had written her contact details on the previous night and hands it over. "She and her friend were having dinner at Caro's last night. We had a quick chat, she looks good. Kind of the same, a little bit nervous and trying not to show it."
the paper and recognizing the handwriting Ray sucks in a large breath through his nose and blows it out hard. Placing the now refolded paper on the table beside his cup calmly he looks up at his friend. "Yeah, well that's good."
"What are you going to do with this information?" Lifting one brow.
"Nothing." Taking a sip of his coffee Ray looks back down at the newspaper, hoping this will bring an end to the conversation.
"Pardon."
"I already had the numbers, I never lost them. I'm happy that she seemed good but I have no intention of calling her."
"Pardon."
"Okay we are not talking about this any more, eat your breakfast."
'Oh... we are so not doone talking about this........"
"We are, stay out of my love life."
Brett emphasises by pointing his toast at Ray "you don't have a love life for me to get into."
"I get plenty of love."
"You get plenty of sex; it's not the same thing." This time emphasizing his point by waving his fork.
"OOOh you are so enlightened these days. Thank you for the tip, I am well aware of the difference. I think I'll stick to what I know works for me."
"Caro thinks you should call her."
"Well Caro is wrong, we've all seen what happens when I get involved with Neela. I think I am done banging my head against that brick wall." Brett knew the sound of Ray's voice when he had made his mind up.
The car ride back to Brett's place was fairly quiet, as Ray pulled the car to a stop in the driveway Brett turns to him "Thanks for the ride, I'll see you around six, kick off is 6.30, bring beer."
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Ray drove straight to work. He wasn't on today but felt the need to be busy. Showering and changing into some clean clothes he had in his office he went down to the gym to check if any of his patients were on this mornings schedule. These day's he carried a fairly light load of patients assigned directly to him; the job had become fairly administrative. While he would rather have a more hands on job he recognized that the higher up the pole he got the less hands on he would be, and this way he could help many more patients even if it was indirectly.
Despite finding plenty of things to occupy him Ray could not quiet his mind. Giving up at four o'clock he decided to call it a day and headed home. Choosing to drive home along the coast rather than the freeway, hoping the extra time on the road and some really loud music would take his mind off the note that was burning a hole in his pocket. It hadn't worked. Getting home he realized that Valentina had been in yesterday and the house was spotless so he didn't even have housework to occupy his mind. The thought alone that he waould welcome housework as a distraction made him laugh out loud. "Really cracking up there Barnett" he admonishes himself.
Looking at his watch he decides to get changed and head over to Brett and Caro's early, stopping for the beer he still made it a little early. Rapping on the door as he walks in he yells " hello" and not waiting for a response he cracks a beer and wanders out into their yard and has a seat.
"Ray your early, in all the time I've known you, you have never even been on time let alone early." Caro walks over to him from inside and leans down to give him a kiss. "Something on your mind perhaps?"
'Nah just not much on today, anything you want to share?" He asks wagging his eyebrows suggestively.
"Brett told me you guessed, you dirty dog."
Rising from the chair we was sitting in Ray walks over and envelopes her in his lanky frame. "You are going to be a natural at this, I am really excited for you guy's. I'll deliver the baby for you if you want." He jokes knowing full well she will turn him down.
"You will not, I don't want you to ever see me with out my pants on." The smile belies the horror on her face.
"Come on, fairs fair you've seen me." Taking a swig he sits back down. One of the great things about Caro was she knew Ray inside and out and their relationship was like an extension of the brotherly love he had with Brett.
"That was in a professional capacity."
"Well I am offering my services as a professional."
"Shut up, you are not delivering the baby. Brett's in the shower, tell me why you're here."
"You invited me for the game."
"Dope, I mean why are you early? Having troublesome thoughts about a certain brown eyed girl? You know she is prettier than I pictured."
"I'm fairly sure I may have mentioned one or one thousand times she was beautiful. Anyway we are not talking about this. You want a boy or girl?
Brett wanders out onto the patio. "Dude you're early, what gives? You want another beer; darling what can I get you to drink?" He asks turning his attention from Ray.
"I am good thanks, I have a water." Caro smiles back at him
"Nope I'm good at the moment, I assume I am cooking?" Over the years Ray had become a pretty good cook, certainly better than everyone else in his inner circle of friends and family and therefore ended up doing a larger part of any cooking duties.
"I thought you could barbeque some steaks at half time." Brett called over his shoulder as he headed back inside to get a beer.
Caro fixes her eyes on Ray "We are not done with this conversation young man, you will keep until later. I am going in to make salad. Enjoy this short reprieve."
"So did you rethink about Neela?" Brett asks as he takes the seat Caro vacated.
'No, but really thanks for asking again. The the game is about to start. Let's go in and behave like men instead of a pair of schoolgirls."
"Okay okay, but you're making a big mistake."
Rarely did he curse his missing lower limbs, being able to turn fast when you wanted to, and pee in the middle of the night with out having to put your legs on were about the only times. Turning slowly to face Brett he replies in a quiet voice, "I am not making a mistake. So please just stop."
Several hours, several beers, some barbeque and one game later Ray was laying on the couch, having decided that driving was out of the question, hoping that sleep would come soon. Caro came down the stairs quietly for a glass of water unaware Ray was still awake.
"It's okay, I'm awake turn on the light."
"You want some ice cream?"
"Thanks that would be good."
She came back and put the bowl on the table in front of him.
"Sour cherry and roasted almond." Settling herself at the end of the couch. Ray made to sit up, pushing him self up with his arms. Then leaning over to retrieve the bowl.
"Having some trouble sleeping?"
Digging his spoon into the bowl for a huge mouthful he replies "Seems so. This is good. I think it's a keeper."
"Want to talk?" She asks gently placing a hand on the Ray's knee.
"If I say no are you going to leave me alone?"
"Nope. So spill what are you thinking?"
"That I don't want to put my head in the Lions mouth again, but I can't seem to shake the attraction I have to said lion. Believe me I have tried." He adds ruefully.
"Yeah I had noticed you trying." She answers both know she is referring to the myriad of women Ray had tried to drown his sorrows in over the years.
"Caro, you saw what happened last time. I don't want to ever go through that again. I don't want to put you through that again."
"Last time you were in a much more vulnerable position Ray. You are a different guy now. Your physically and mentally much stronger, you have great career, good friends and family. Your circumstances are completely different. If you ever felt like that again you have to promise to talk to me."
"Yeah I will"
"Eat you icecream, it will help you make the right decision."
"I am, I know you think it can save lives."
'Saved yours buddy."
So quietly she could hardly hear he whispers to her "Yeah, it did." Taking the hand she has on his knee and gently squeezing.
"I think you should call her, you can't go through your whole life randomly sleeping with women on the off chance you will find one that touches you in the same way. Eventually you are not going to be this handsome you know….it'll just get really sad."
"Thanks for that, it's worked out okay for Hugh Hefner."
"You want to be Hugh Hefner?"
"Not really."
"I just want you to be as happy as we are." She indicates to the upstairs were Brett is sleeping. "Maybe Neela is ready for you now, she seemed a little over excited when Brett said he spoke with you. You have never found out why she backed away so hard."
"Well I had a few things going on at the time."
"I remember I was there, why don't you give her the benefit of the doubt."
"I spent quite a few years giving her the benefit of the doubt; it didn't work out so well for me."
"Try again. If it fails I'll mix you up something special and help you pick up the pieces." Caro's true passion in life was ice-cream. She felt all problems could be solved with an ice cold bowl of your favorite flavor. The only time she ever really cared to be in the kitchen was when she was mixing a batch of custard to flavor and tip into the almost commercial sized machine that sat pride of place in the kitchen. Over the years she had made thousands of batches.
Chocolate and candied orange had been the flavors she was delivering to Ray as a special treat for his birthday. Some patients really got under your skin when you are nursing them over an extended period. When Ray had first arrived he was almost silent in his misery, but as he had healed his real personality had started to shine through some tiny cracks.
When handing medication to a patient you must double check the patients name, date of birth and admit number, so she knew his birthday was coming up and had decided she would bring him a batch of something special after dinner. Ray had seemed unusually down, hardly surprising considering were he was spending his birthday. He didn't have many visitors so there was a good chance he would be alone or with his mum, who Caro liked and wouldn't mind sharing the ice-cream with.
Entering his room with a per functionary knock she was surprised to see him already asleep at eight o'clock. Putting the container on the rolling table at the end of the bed as she walked around to see if was asleep or just resting. The first thing she noticed was the perspiration on his brow and that his lips were an unnatural shade of blue. Rushing to him and shaking him as hard as she could, Caro received no response. The ice-cream all but forgotten in her attempt to get him breathing while waiting for help. So in it's own special way ice cream had saved his life. Although initally angry at his failure Ray came to see how lucky he was that Caro had come to see him that night. However she wasn't the woman he most wanted to hear from on his birthday that year, the silence from the north finally overwhelming him.
His mother had called Brett telling him to get to Baton Rrouge immediately. Hoping a perhaps some music and the company of someone other than herself would deliver him from his self imposed hell. Brett had been in Chicargo packing up Ray's apartment, finishing as quickly as possible he made it down in a couple of days. After that night it had been a while before any one really trusted Ray and he felt their eye's on him all the time providing real pressure to get better and over time Ray came back. JC found it too difficult to watch Ray go throught the daily PT sessions and usually visited him in the evenings, leaving the long and painful hours of daylight to Brett. Ray knew all that work would have been so much harderif he had not had the cheering squad at his side and came to feel that while he would rather have not gone through with this perhaps the stronger relationships around him were a very very thin silver lining. Caro for her part had grown very fond of Ray against all the rules and advice from collegues and friends. The burgeoning relationship between her and Brett (they were spending hours together everday) had originally made her feel like she was betraying Ray her patient and she liked to think new friend. However he seemed to be thrilled for the two of them and perhaps their joy in finding each other had shown him that the world could still be a happy place.
"I'll think about it."
'Okay, try and get some sleep. You can make me pancakes for breakfast if you like." She threw over her shoulder as she made her way upstairs.
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Abby was correct, Neela felt like she had not slept a wink all night. If California had harnessed the power she had channeled into tossing and turning all night the energy crisis could well have been solved by dawn.
Meeting Abby for breakfast she felt like she had been hit in the head with a hammer. Having a coffee and a couple of aspirin had not really helped at all. She wasn't sure if it was the Champagne, the lack of sleep or a heady combination of both, but suddenly the conference seemed as exciting as a trip to the dentist.
"Don't you look happy this morning." Abby smiles wryly over the top of her cup.
"I'm not."
"Really, you hide it so well. Come on lets go get this over with. You have me until one o'clock...then shopping"
"Abby...."
"You know you are too old to whine. Is this going to be about Ray?"
"Yeah I feel quite whiny, so deal with it. What am I going to do?"
"Good lord woman I have no idea. Wait for him to call or take some steps to find him."
Through our the course of the day Abby guessed Neela would have checked her phone once every fifteen minutes until it had driven her mad.
"Enough give me the damn thing. You have not paid one bit of attention to this conference you dragged me to, we could be shopping. If it should go off in any way I will give it to you." She demanded holding out her hand.
Neela rather meekly handed her the phone recognizing the truth in her words. Wandering through the displays and booths provided by pharmaceutical companies, surgical equipment manufacturers and some of the more prominent hospitals, Neela almost forgot to worry about her phone for half an hour.
Looking around she couldn't see Abby anywhere and of course she now didn't have a phone to call her on. Deciding to retrace her steps in the hope Abby had staid put. Wandering to the front end of the convention hall she finds Abby sitting on a long bench with a cup of coffee occupying herself by playing with Neela's phone.
"You know something, you have Ray's number in here." She waves the phone in front of Neela's face. "I could just press send right now and put this whole thing to rest."
'No, you wouldn't do that to me." Neela makes a lunge for the phone but Abby is too quick for her and moves her hand away.
'Yeah I would, is the only reason you are not calling him because you are scared he will reject you?"
After a lengthy pause she prompts again "Well..."
"Maybe." The response is very quiet.
"Didn't he tell you at least once, and make it fairly clear on several other occasions that he was in love with you?"
"Yes, but that was four years ago. I think he blames me for the accident."
"Is that what he said?" Abby knew the answer to her question already.
"No, but he should."
"Neela he was standing in the middle of the road!" the exasperation in her voice evident.
"Doesn't matter anyway, that number was disconnected years ago."
"Oh, so back to the moping then, 'cos that has worked so nicely for the last four years."
'I left my number."
"You left your number with his friend for god's sake; he told you he ...Holy shit……your phone is ringing."
"Give it to me, who is it."
"Your phone doesn't recognize the number…Neela's phone Abby speaking."
"Lockheart or is it Kovac now?" Ray's voice has a slightly stonger southern lilt she remembered and it brought a smile to her face.
"Lockheart or you could go with Abby." She can hear Ray chuckle.
"Yeah I guess I could, but it seems unlikely. Tell what you've been up to these last few years."
"Well Luca, Joe and I live in Boston now, both at Mass General. I have left the boy's at home for a bit of bonding."
"Good for you, you liking Boston?"
"So far it has been good to us and it's a nice city for kids, so we're pretty happy there. Tell me about you."
"You know same old Ray, I hear you guy's are looking for me."
"Ahh yeah we have been, hang on I'll hand you over to Neela, see you soon." While Abby had been talking to Ray Neela looked like she was about to vomit. Holding her finger over the receiver she handed the phone to Neela. "Guess who?" Abby walked away to a couch and sat down, giving Neela some privacy. Taking a deep breath and hoping what came out of her mouth would make more sense than the jumble that was going on insider her head.
"Ray hi." That seemed sensible she thought.
"Hey Neela, how are you?" This seemed to be easy for him.
"Umm I am good, how about you?" Neela was having trouble making words connect in her head, let alone expressing them.
"I'm good, you enjoying LA?"
"It's been nice so far, how is Baton Rouge?"
"Last I checked it was still there."
"Oh…..were are you?"
"LA." Neela couldn't tell if he was teasing her or was annoyed with her.
"You're here, in LA, right now."
"Yeah, I live here."
"Wow."
"Okay." Now he was defiantley being sarcastic.
"Umm, would you have time to get together?" Neela looked around at Abby, who in spite of appearances was clearly listening to the conversation. Mouthing "Finally" and giving her the thumbs up then going back to her coffee. Waiting for him to answer, Neela thought she may be sick and scanned the area for an empty vessel.