and another thing

—or, why Tony isn't allowed to teach Thor about Midgard anymore.

They'd been paired off and split up for the training exercise, in ways they usually weren't grouped. Tony with Clint, Steve with Bruce, and Natasha with Thor. However, they were still a bit tentative around each other, so despite the odd tag-teaming Steve had decided on a relatively easy task. They stood on a wide, open field with a lone tower, surrounded by an outer wall, at the opposite end. The objective was to get to the building across the field and through a veritable army of intelligent robots (Stark's, of course). First team to get there and switch off the robots won.

(Bruce had been a bit reluctant to Hulk out at first, to say the least, but Tony and Steve somehow managed to convince him.)

For the most part, it had gone better than expected. Hulk actually seemed to be working with Steve quite well, Tony and Clint were finding ways to combine their abilities with deadly results, and Natasha and Thor were fighting as seamlessly as if they had trained together for years.

It was a close race until the very end, but Natasha and Thor managed to make it there first. They shut down the automatons, Natasha rolling her eyes at the fact that the off switch was simply a large, red button marked PROPERTY OF STARK— DO NOT PRESS UNLESS YOU ARE A CERTIFIED GENIUS-BILLIONAIRE-PLAYBOY-PHILANTHROPIST, just as the others made it to the door.

"Aw man, not fair," Tony groaned, flipping up his faceplate. "Romanoff is a scary super-spy-slash-assassin as it is, and Goldilocks is a god. Why'd you pair them up, Cap?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Tony, you're just mad you lost. Quit whining."

He pushed open the door with the others following behind him, Tony grumbling all the while. The tower was even large and strong enough for the Hulk, as they found out when he lumbered in last, though he quickly shrank back down into a weary Bruce. Clint caught him as he stumbled, and handed him the pair of spare pants they'd brought. "Thanks," Bruce murmured.

Natasha and Thor strode up to meet them. "Congratulations, Thor, Widow. You two fought well together," Steve said, grinning.

Thor laughed his booming laugh. "Indeed, it was an excellent battle! You are quite the mighty warrior, Lady Widow."

Natasha dipped her head in acknowledgement. "You as well, Thor."

It wasn't easy to surprise Natasha but even she hadn't quite expected what happened next. Thor lifted her bodily into the air before hurling her through the window, shattering the glass and sending her straight into the outer wall.

"What the hell," Clint said, an arrow already nocked and pointed at Thor. The god didn't look hostile however, but rather extremely confused. "I do not understand. The Man of Iron—"

"Shit," Tony said in terror, before letting out a borderline-hysterical laugh. "Shitshitshit. Romanoff is gonna kill me—"

"You? Why would she want to kill you?" Steve interrupted.

"I may have, ah, told Thor that, um…"

"Stark. Spit it out."

"…I told Thor that sending someone through a wall— or, well, a window too I guess— was a gesture of friendship."

"Ah." Steve's face had gone unnervingly blank. "Well then, you're dead."

Tony yelped and slammed the faceplate shut.

Sighing, Steve turned to Clint. "Stand down, Hawkeye. Thor didn't know."

A long moment, before Clint huffed and lowered his bow. "Fine."

Thor now looked embarrassed and ashamed. "My friends, I am truly sorry. I was not aware that he was being insincere."

"It's okay, Thor, she'll understand," Steve reassured. Hopefully, he added silently.

A soft grunt from outside reminded them that Natasha was still there. They quickly hustled over to where she was leaning against the outer wall, breath coming in wheezing hitches, holding an arm to her side.

She stirred slightly when Clint tapped her shoulder. "Nat. You okay?"

"…Ow." She blinked blearily, focused for a moment on her teammates hovering around her, and promptly passed out.

-A-

Clint rattled off her list of injuries while he, Steve, Thor, and Bruce gathered around her in the S.H.I.E.L.D. infirmary. Tony had disappeared once the medics assured them that Natasha would be fine and was still nowhere to be found. "Three broken ribs, a broken wrist, a fractured collarbone, a slight concussion, several nicely stitched up cuts, and oh, a few lovely bruises too."

Natasha tried for a one-armed shrug and winced. "I've had worse."

Thor had apologized profusely to her as soon as she had regained consciousness, explaining how he hadn't known Tony was jesting, to which she had replied that it wasn't his fault. Even now though, his worried gaze was fixed on her. She smiled slightly. "No harm done, Thor. Well, no permanent harm at least."

He still looked concerned, but he nodded. "If you are sure, Lady Widow."

"I am." And she smiled again, in a decidedly less pleasant way. "However.

"I'm going to kill Stark."

-A-

.

.

.

Tony wasn't allowed to be left alone with Thor for months after that.

.

.

.

(Although, he seemed much less likely to mess with any of them for a long time, after Natasha cornered him one day and ah, politely asked him to stop.)

A/N: This is very different in tone, I know, but I thought it'd be a fun bonus chapter. (If you aren't sure how this relates to the main ficlet, it's referenced briefly in Thor's part.) And depending on how it goes, I might start a whole series of these, expanding on things referenced in the main ficlet. Anyways, thanks for reading!