The next morning felt like an eternity waiting for the lunch hour to start. Elizabeth sat at her desk, admittedly not getting anything done. Kurt had been the last thing on her mind the night before and the first when she woke up. She hoped he hadn't given up on her coming back. Elizabeth Hummel never broke promises.
When twelve noon hit, she was up in pediatrics within minutes. Elizabeth was well-known by the pediatrics staff, so she signed right in and headed down to room 311.
Not surprisingly, Kurt was alone. He was on his back, thumb in his mouth as usual. He smiled when he saw her enter, though, and Elizabeth went in to hug him gently.
"You came back." He sounded surprised. Elizabeth sat by him and brushed his hair back with her fingers.
"Mm hmm. I told you I would," she reminded him. Kurt didn't seem as lively as the night before, so she assumed he was just tired or didn't feel well. "Are you feeling okay today?"
Kurt shrugged his shoulders and held his blanket a little closer. He reached up his good hand, and Elizabeth eagerly took it in hers.
"I'm thleepy," he lisped. "I took a nap."
Elizabeth could see the exhaustion on his face, and briefly considered leaving him alone so he could rest some more. But he didn't seem to want to let go of her hand anytime soon, so she remained for the time being.
"Where'd you get that?" Kurt asked, pulling his hand away and pointing at Elizabeth's wedding ring. Elizabeth tugged it off and let him hold it.
"It's my wedding ring," she explained patiently as Kurt examined it. "My husband gave it to me when we got married. He has one, too, but it doesn't have any diamonds."
"Whoa." Kurt was fascinated, and carefully handed her the ring back. "What's your husband's name?"
Elizabeth was surprised by his level of curiosity, but chalked it up to him being bored and tired.
"His name is Burt," she told him. "We have a puppy, too. His name is Charlie."
Kurt's eyes lit up at the mention of the dog, and he launched in to more questions about him.
"What's he look like? I always asked Mommy for a puppy, but she said no cause they were 'spensive and our 'partment didn't let them in. They didn't let smoking people in, either, but Daddy always broke that rule. I told him no but he told me to go to my room."
Elizabeth squeezed his little hand when he told her that, but Kurt just shrugged as if it weren't a big deal. She couldn't imagine what else he had been through in his five years.
"I can bring you a picture of Charlie, tomorrow," Elizabeth offered, trying to change the subject. "He's white and small, but he barks a lot. If you ever met him, I think you'd like him."
She tried to ignore the nagging thoughts in the back of her mind about what if. What if Kurt did get to come home with them one day and meet Charlie? She couldn't get her hopes up and be heartbroken. Not again.
Kurt smiled, though he still seemed unenthusiastic. "Bring a picture," he said. "And come back tomorrow."
Elizabeth smiled and let go of his hand, grateful for any excuse to come see Kurt again.
"I will," she promised him. "I'll come back tomorrow and bring a picture of Charlie with me. I need to go back to my work here in a little bit. Do you think you can fall asleep?"
Kurt returned his thumb to his mouth and exhaled heavily through his nose, blinking slowly.
"I dunno," he mumbled. Elizabeth fluffed his pillow for him, and Kurt seemed to be able to relax. She could tell he was tired, but was fighting sleep as hard as he could. She held his hand, though, until his little mouth drooped open and his fingers went limp in hers.
She stayed until she was certain he was completely asleep, and then returned back to her office, already looking forward to her next visit with him.
The next day, she wasn't able to manage a visit until after work at five. Elizabeth felt terrible, but tried to make up for it with some new books and videos she had purchased the night before.
She hurried up to Kurt's room as soon as she could, but as soon as she laid eyes on him, she frowned.
Kurt sat up in his bed, his arm still resting on the little pillow. Kurt held his blanket in his arms and shivered violently, his eyes wet with tears of discomfort.
"Kurt, honey, what's wrong?" she asked, instantly setting down his gifts and trying to comfort him. His skin was warm to the touch, and his round little cheeks were flushed pink.
"I feel funny," he peeped, curling his knees up to his chest. Elizabeth got him some water from the little bathroom connected to his room and helped him lie back and get comfortable.
"I brought you some things," she said softly, in an attempt to distract him from how bad he was feeling. "I got you some more books to read and videos to watch. Oh- and I found a picture of my husband and Charlie."
She handed Kurt the photograph and laid the books and movies on the foot of his bed for him to look at later.
"Charlie looks like a big marshmallow," Kurt decided. Elizabeth laughed and let him keep the picture. He didn't feel up to saying much, so Elizabeth read him his new books and just let him sit back and listen. He seemed to be doing okay, until it was dinnertime.
The cafeteria worker brought Kurt's food in and set it up on the tray for him, but he seemed disinterested in eating, and tried to get Elizabeth to take it away.
"I don't want it," he pouted, beginning to get upset again. Elizabeth wanted to save them both from the inevitable meltdown that was brewing, but she knew he needed to eat, especially if he had a fever.
"What if you just tried just a few bites?" she coaxed, fixing up a bite of peas for him. "Do you like peas?"
"No," Kurt grumbled, shaking his head. His chin quivered, and so Elizabeth backed off. It wasn't the end of the world if he didn't eat one meal. Even though he was horribly tiny, the last thing she wanted to do what upset him.
"You don't have to eat it," she gave in. "If you don't feel good, you can just rest instead. I'll stay here with you for a little bit longer before I need to go home."
"Don't leave yet," Kurt worried, grabbing onto her hand and finally starting to cry. Elizabeth stroked his hair soothingly as she gently tried to calm him down. It was just so saddening to see how much worse he seemed now than on Monday, when she first met him. She wanted the charming, talkative Kurt back.
"I'm not leaving," she reassured him. "I'll stay for a little while. Does anything sound good to eat? I'm sure there's something in the cafeteria you'd like."
"No," he murmured. He sat up a little straighter, and reached for the plastic fork on the tray. "I'll eat this."
Elizabeth had no idea what was fueling his sudden behavior changes, but was just thankful he was eating. Kurt managed to eat several bites of his peas and potatoes, slowly but surely, until the plate was nearly half clean.
"No more," he insisted, pushing the tray away. Elizabeth took it away from him and helped him drink another glass of water without spilling it.
"You ate very well," she praised. "It's about time for me to go, honey. Would you like me to come back tomorrow? I'll be able to visit you a little earlier, and when you're not so tired."
"Don't leave yet," he whined, gripping her arm. Elizabeth knew it was his fever that was making him so clingy, but she knew she couldn't just sit with him all night. As much as she already loved Kurt, she needed to give him time alone to rest.
"My tummy hurts," Kurt moaned. Elizabeth thought for a second he was faking to get her to stay longer, but he was looking awfully pale. Maybe it wasn't a good idea for him to have eaten so much, especially after the surgery he had mentioned the other day…
Elizabeth tried to calm him, but Kurt couldn't get comfortable. All the moving around wound up hurting his arm, and Kurt began to cry again.
She hated seeing him so worked up like that. He was in pain and feeling miserable, and there was little she could do to help.
"Kurt," she tried. "Kurt, it's okay. Here, lay back down, I'll-"
Kurt, without a warning of any kind, hunched over and threw up on his blankets.
Elizabeth immediately went to help him, as the terrified child cried even harder and continued to shiver and whine.
"It's okay, it's okay," she said, pulling his blankets away from him. "Kurt, it's okay. I'm not mad, honey."
Elizabeth had slowly begun to learn through her interactions with him over the last few days that Kurt always assumed she was upset with him whenever he did something "bad."
Sure enough, Kurt was able to breathe a little easier once he was reassured that Elizabeth wasn't mad at him and he wasn't in trouble.
Elizabeth tucked her shoulder-length auburn hair behind her ears and tried to clean up his face a little. Thankfully there were washcloths in the bathroom, so once he looked a little better, she dampened it and pressed it up against his forehead to try to make him cool off.
There was an extra blanket in the closet next to the bathroom door, so she grabbed him a new one to keep him from shivering.
"Thank you," he said, his voice barely there. Elizabeth knew he was still on edge, and could burst into tears again any second.
"You're welcome," she told him, cupping his hand in hers and paging for a nurse. "They can wash your blanket and bring it back to you all fresh and clean. Would you like that?"
Kurt nodded and whimpered a little, barely having enough strength to cry anymore. Elizabeth waited until the nurse showed up to get up and leave.
"Stay here," Kurt begged. "I'll be good! There's enough room in the bed for you to sleep, see?"
Kurt tried to scoot over to make room for Elizabeth, a gesture she appreciated, but not when he was so sick.
"Lie still," she told him. "I'm not leaving because you've been bad. I love coming to visit you, Kurt. I have to go home to Mr. Burt and Charlie, though. During the day I see you, and at night I see them. But tomorrow I get to come see you again. Okay? I'll bring you another surprise, too. But you need to rest for tonight. I'll come see you again tomorrow, I promise."
"Okay," Kurt agreed. He held out his pinky, and Elizabeth linked it with her own.
Leaving Kurt that night was incredibly hard for her, especially when all Elizabeth wanted to do was hold him and make everything all better and take him home with her. Taking care of him gave her a purpose, other than being a wife and accountant. Kurt made her feel like a mother, a feeling she had longed for for years.
She went home to her husband and dog, who both greeted her when she arrived. Burt could tell she was upset, but hesitated bringing up Kurt. They hadn't discussed anything since Monday night, and she had only briefly mentioned that she was staying after work to visit him that day.
"What's the matter?" he asked over dinner. "Is it the kid?"
"It's Kurt," she corrected him. She knew Burt wasn't apathetic, he was just bad with names. But still, she was already impatient. "He's got an infection and isn't doing well. He threw up after eating dinner and he's got a fever. I hated to leave him, but I don't want him to grow so attached to me, only to find out he's not coming home with us."
"It sounds like he already loves you a whole lot," Burt said with his mouth full. "I think you love him, too. Have you seen his social worker around at all? She could probably let you know what's going to happen when he leaves."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't think she's come by in days. Kurt said her name was Mrs. Walden. I could look her up in the phone book, but I'd rather talk to her in person."
"She has to come around some time," Burt pointed out. "Just wait until you can see her face to face. She can probably tell you more about adopting him, too."
Elizabeth was certain her husband had discarded the adoption talk from two nights earlier. Was he seriously considering it?
"Have you been thinking about it?" she asked him, a smile creeping to her face. If Burt agreed to pursue the possibility, then they were one small step closer to making Kurt their son.
"Well… a little," he confessed, looking down at his plate. Elizabeth could tell he still seemed a little hesitant, but he just had to wait until he could actually meet Kurt and fall in love with him.
"I promise you would love him," Elizabeth told him, reaching across the table to grab his hand. "Once his social worker comes around I'll talk to her. He truly is the perfect child."
Burt looked hesitant, but Elizabeth took full confidence in saying that. There was nothing about Kurt that she didn't love. He was reserved and hesitant, yes, but on the inside he just wanted someone to really love him. She and Burt could take care of that. Elizabeth knew, as much as her husband doubted himself, he would truly be a great father.
The rest of dinner passed normally, the conversation shifting form Kurt to work to everything in between. Elizabeth went to bed, like she had every night that week, looking forward to seeing her little boy again the next day.
Thursday she was hopeful. Hopeful that Kurt was feeling better and his infection was cleared up, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.
Elizabeth didn't think it was possible, but he seemed to be doing worse. Kurt cried at the smallest things, like his blanket falling on the floor or his water spilling. Of course, she tried to comfort him, but it was still heartbreaking to see him like that. She watched television with him and told him funny stories about Charlie, but nothing could bring a smile to Kurt's face.
Friday was much the same way. Elizabeth wasn't sure how much time she would get to spend with him over the weekend, so she tried to stay a little later after work that day. Kurt had developed a cough, and his broken arm was bothering him.
"I wanna go home with you," he grumbled, refusing to let go of her hand for the evening. Elizabeth wanted to make his wish come true, but Kurt was far too sick to even get out of bed.
"You need to get better, first," Elizabeth reminded him. She didn't want to explain to Kurt that he couldn't come with her. Not unless a miracle happened, which didn't seem likely unless his social worker showed up.
"I don't like being th'ick," he complained, sucking on his thumb as usual. Elizabeth didn't blame him. She missed seeing the little boy's smiles.
"I know," she agreed. "The doctors are going to help you get better, though. And the more you rest, the better you'll start to feel."
Kurt sighed dramatically, resulting in a nasty coughing fit Elizabeth immediately tried to nip.
"Ow," he said, gratefully accepting the cup of water Elizabeth kept refilled by his bed. She attempted to make him comfortable and able to relax better, but Kurt seemed too exhausted to do anything other than suck his thumb and hold her hand lazily.
The rest of the evening passed much like that. Elizabeth did most of the talking, with the occasional cough or crying bout from Kurt. When eight o'clock finally rolled around, she dreaded leaving Kurt behind, especially when he was so ill and so attached to her.
"Don't leave," he panicked as Elizabeth reached down for her purse. Kurt knew what that meant.
"I can't stay past eight, honey," she said remorsefully. "I promise I'll try to come back tomorrow. If they let me stay longer, then I would."
"No," Kurt choked, beginning to cry for what felt like the hundredth time. "No, I'm th'orry! I'm th'orry!"
He was hysterical at that point. Elizabeth collected him in her arms and wrapped her arms around his tiny little body as he sobbed into her shirt, her heart breaking into a million little pieces for him.
"Shhh," she soothed. "You haven't done anything wrong, sweet boy. You don't need to be sorry. I'll come back tomorrow and bring you more treats. But tonight you need to go to sleep, Kurt. Your little body can't heal unless you rest."
"I don't like the hospital," Kurt hiccupped, struggling to get each word out. Elizabeth rubbed his back, afraid she would have to call in a nurse if he didn't calm down soon.
"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry you have to stay here. Maybe tomorrow, if you feel better, we could go for a wheelchair ride, hm? We have the whole day."
Kurt seemed to calm down ever so slightly, and he allowed Elizabeth to lay him down and tuck him in. She cleaned his face from the tears, and gave him promise after promise that she would return first thing in the morning.
It felt like a miracle that she was able to get Kurt to go to sleep. It was exhausting, and he tried to fight it, but Elizabeth eventually decided to try singing to him, and Kurt dropped right off to sleep.
Leaving him behind was the hardest thing she had ever had to do. Elizabeth knew once Kurt fell asleep he was usually okay, but she wished she could instill in his little mind that she wasn't going to abandon him and not come back. She loved him far too much to even think about not returning, but the way his parents had raised him only caused that behavior.
Elizabeth wanted to go right to bed when she got home, but even though it was almost nine by the time they ate dinner, she was adamant about not missing a Friday night dinner with her husband.
"How's Kurt?" he asked. Elizabeth couldn't help but notice that he remembered his name that time.
"He's just been getting sicker and sicker," she sighed. "I haven't seen his social worker once. I truly think if I didn't stop by everyday, he would be all alone."
"That's too bad…" Burt agreed. "She has to turn up sometime, though. We can always look into adoption without help from his social worker."
Elizabeth nodded along, over the moon that he was so open-minded about considering adoption, even if it didn't work out with Kurt. It made her feel a little better, even on the worst of days like today.
She went to bed early, exhausted from work and the hours she had devoted to Kurt. She hoped, if he was feeling better over the weekend, that she could bring Burt to meet him, too. The hospital would hopefully allow that, especially since Elizabeth was so close to several of the pediatrics workers.
When they heard the home phone ring in the middle of the night, they both woke to the sound. Burt got up to answer it before Elizabeth could make a move.
"It's for you," Burt mumbled, half-awake as he handed her the cordless.
"Hello?" Elizabeth answered, suddenly wide awake as she realized there was only one possible reason why someone would be trying to reach her so late. Kurt.
"Hey, sorry to wake you up, but I figured you would want to know." It was Kelly, Elizabeth's best friend from high school and also one of the night nurses in pediatrics. "Kurt Howard, that kid you've been visiting all week? He developed a pretty bad case of pneumonia. They moved him to the PICU and are trying to help him breathe, but his lungs are super weak. If I were you, I'd get on down here. They're doing everything they can, but he's not looking good at all."
Author's Notes:
And here's chapter two! This website has been giving me problem after problem lately, but I finally got it up. Hope you liked it!