Chapter 1 – Gon's Tears
Gon's emotions towards Killua become definite. Kite finds a way to return Gon into a boy again and a possible way to return her nen back to its original place.

"Gon… remember to take care of yourself alright? You'll have a lot of work to catch up on when you get back," Mito-san encouraged. "When are you going to tell him the truth?"

Gon turned to look at Killua. He had his hands in his pockets and he was chewing on a bubble gum. Eyes stared at him and he turned to look at Gon and smiled, waving to her to see that he's waiting for her patiently. She closed her eyes and held on to her chest tightly, shaking her head.

"I'll tell him when I turn into a boy again… It shouldn't take that long Mito-san… I just know it."

Her auntie looked at her with concern. Mito-san waved at Killua to come and he tilted his head in confusion, walking towards her. "Is something wrong Mito-san?"

"Killua, please take care of Kin. Help her find her mother."

The ex-assassin looked Gon and held her hand. She blinked in surprise and looked at Mito-san who chuckled and grabbed their holding hand. "I'll protect her, Mito-san. Please don't worry."

"I'm counting on you! Have a safe trip!"

XXX

Inside the bunk, Kurapika and Leorio discussed about the possibilities of where Kite might tell them to go. Gon and Killua arrived shortly afterwards; the ex-assassin studied her outfit.

"Hey, Kin, aren't you cold wearing that?"

Gon looked at her tank top and green shorts then back up to Killua. "Is… is it bothering you? Am I a little exposed?"

Killua blushed and looked away, "I—no that's not that I'm… I'm just surprised you're comfortable wearing a tank top."

She looked at him curiously then removed her bag from her shoulders. Kurapika and Leorio watched her as she took out the supplies from her bag, searching for clothes. Her eyes happily sparkled when she found her plain white shirt with blue borders at the edges of the shirt.

When Gon raised her shirt, Kurapika and Leorio panicked, and Killua was amused. The blonde waved his hands towards the girl in disbelief; did Gon not realize she's a girl changing in front of boys?

Killua whistled. "You're really gonna change in front of us?"

Gon raised her brow, lifting the top over her head. "Well why not? I know all three of you… Kurapika and Leorio are together, and you're my friend!"

She's so simple minded, Kurapika and Leorio thought altogether with a sweatdrop on their temples. What an interesting girl she was, and Killua watched her body with interest as Gon put a shirt over herself. He furrowed his brows as his eyes traced her curves and thought of Gon and shook his head when she stared at him in confusion.

"Is something wrong?" Gon asked.

"No… N-Not at all."

"Okay. Let's rest, we'll have a long day tomorrow when we meet up with Kite."

There was a small argument about who's getting which side of the bed and a couple of pillows thrown on each other's faces to compete over who gets the blanket as well. Decision was made with a sneer and a whine and later on, the four of them slept.

Kurapika and Killua slept on one bed, and Gon slept on the other by herself while Leorio slept on the ground with his sleeping bag. A few hours have passed, quiet yet steady breathing was harmonizing together with a loud snore coming from the ground. Gon furrowed her eyebrows and shook in coldness; she sneezed.

Killua was a light sleeper, so despite how fast he falls asleep; his eyes snapped open and sat up, watching the girl shiver. He scoffed playfully, reaching for his backpack to take out his gray jacket and threw it over to her. Gon's drowsy eyes opened, meeting a pair of blue ones.

"Wear it, and here—" he threw her his share of the blanket.

Gon could only stare him, "thank you…" she whispered, wearing Killua's jacket then putting the blanket over herself.

She watched Killua lie back down next to Kurapika and Gon bit her lip. She was definitely warm alright, but there was something about Killua sleeping with Kurapika that bothered her so much and he only came back yesterday. Is this jealousy already?

"Killua…?"

Before Killua found himself drawing back to sleep, his eyes opened wide once again. "Yes?"

"Can you sleep next with me?"

Killua blinked twice; did he hear that correctly? "Are you serious?"

She nodded.

"Uh," he looked at Kurapika and Leorio who was completely senseless of what was going on. "Why?"

"I…wantyoutosleepnextotme."

"…what?"

There was a slightly pause, then Gon's voice came about a little stronger. "…I want you to sleep next to me…"

Oh shit, she's so straightforward and cute… Killua found himself getting up and scooting next to Gon. "So you really are that kind of girl huh?" he whispered in her ear, grinning playfully.

"What!?" Gon hissed. "No, I'm not!"

"Heeeeeeh… Who knows? Maybe you'll be asking me to marry you one day or maybe do other things…"

"Stop that!" Gon said, pulling a strand of his white hair.

Killua groaned. "What was that for!?" He whispered sharply. "After deciding to sleep next to you—I'm going back…"

When Killua stood up slowly, Gon sat up abruptly and tugged on his shirt. "N-No! I'm sorry!"

The two of them froze when Leorio yawned and shifted then they looked over at Kurapika who turned to face away from them. There was a wave of relief when the two went back to their peaceful slumber.

"Okay, okay. I'll sleep next to you. Scoot down a bit."

Gon complied and got herself comfortable on her side, meanwhile Killua reached for his pillow and put it next to hers. When he was finally laying down, he faced her, and Gon's eyes widened. She didn't think of what would happen next after this, Killua could feel the change in the weather and he snickered, patting her on the head.

"I won't do anything to you, Kin. Gon would kill me. Sleep."

"I-I'm not worried if you're going to touch me!"

"You're right," Killua retorted quickly. "You're not attractive enough for me."

Gon grunted, hiding that she was slightly hurt.

"I was kidding," he sighed and held her close to his chest. "Well, goodnight."

Killua buried his face on his head and fell asleep almost immediately. Gon, exceedingly favoring this moment, blushed different shades of red while her face was completely hidden under his embrace. She smiled to herself afterwards, satisfied with this action, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Killua's head tilted back, sleeping soundlessly with his arms around her as well.

His eyelashes are long, Gon thought as she looked up to study his sleeping face. Her face was still flushed and heated, especially when she looked down straight to his lips. She became absent-minded and felt like she was about to explode until Killua unconsciously locked his lips against hers. Gon's brown eyes widened, bound to his embrace and motionless.

I can't sleep like this!

She tried to push him and Killua mumbled words that she couldn't understand. He released their kiss and snuggled closer to her, completely unaware of what he had just done.

"Gon… I want… Choco Robo…" he mumbled clearer this time with a sheepish smile on his face.

Gon smiled as well, and closed her eyes, following him to sleep after her state of panic.

XXX

When Gon woke up, Kurapika came back to their room with a tray of food for the four of them. Leorio came after him, cautiously taking steps with drinks on his tray; all were hot. Kurapika smiled at her and placed her lunch next to the table next to her.

"Morning! We'll arrive at the port shortly. Eat up because we're heading to Kite's right after." Before he headed out, Kurapika leaned against the door and Gon looked at him.

"Is something wrong Kurapika?"

"You should wake the guy next to you, Kin."

"What—"

Gon looked down to her side and removed the blanket that covered the fully sleeping Killua. The white-haired boy was a mess, some strands of his hair were down instead of spikey and he was still clinging on to the side of her jacket. She smiled, but blushed a bit after remembering the event that happened last night. It wasn't like she forgot what happened, the feeling of Killua's lips pressed against hers was evidently not forgettable.

"Killua, wake up," she said, shaking the sleeping boy awake.

Killua groaned and pulled Gon closer, his head burying in between her bag and her pillow.

"Wake up!" she nudged.

"Wake me up in an hour or so…" Killua groaned, snuggling on her.

Has Killua ever been like this? The last time Gon and Killua slept together, he slept like a pig. Legs open with one leg of his, mouth wide, and arms spread open; that's how Gon remembered him. It felt like something has changed with this boy. Gon mentally slapped herself; no duh something has changed, Killua thinks he's a she named Kin!

"Killua… If you don't wake up now I'm going to eat all of your food."

"I don't wanna eat," he grumbled.

"Oh, okay." She said picking up the Choco Robo that was next to her plate. "I guess I'll also eat this—Choco Robo."

Killua's head perked up. "Did you just say Choco Robo?"

"Great, you're awake!"

The ex-assassin sat up and looked at Gon's tray, which was actually empty. He glared at the girl. "You lied to me!"

"Sounds like you favor Choco Robo quite a lot!"

"I actually do," he stared blankly. "How do you know that? Surely Gon wouldn't tell you things about me."

"You were mumbling in your sleep," Gon grinned. "So I kind of figured you liked Choco Robo a whole bunch."

Kurapika knocked on the door to get their attention. "Leorio and I are staying out for fresh air. We'll come back in a bit, don't do anything irrational now."

Silence between the two of them grew and Killua watched Gon eat her meal in silence.

"Hey Kin?"

"Yeah?"

"What can you do?"

"What do you mean what can I do?"

"Your nen," Killua started. "I'm a manipulator, Leorio's an emitter from the last time I remember… Kurapika is a specialist… so what can you do?"

"Oh," Gon blinked. "Well…I'm an enhancer… and a specialist."

"Whoah, really!?"

Gon could only nod.

"Show me something!"

"That's the thing…" Gon hesitated. "I don't have any nen."

"So you're like Gon…" Killua thought out loud, completely oblivious to the truth.

"Mmm…" She nodded looking down. "But you know, I'm not all that frustrated about it, maybe I can get it back on our way to find my mom."

"Yeah, you're right. Way to think positive Kin!"

"Hehe… Of course! Now let's get to packing."

"Can I have some of your soup?"

"Yep, here you go~"

"Thanks, Kin!"

XXX

Gon and Killua met up with the other two out in the port. Kurapika was fixing Leorio's tie and Leorio was grunting like an idiot. Gon looked the vendors under their tents, selling fruits, equipment, and other materials. Her eyes sparkled when she found something, grabbed Killua by the hand, and dragged him with her to the tent.

"Hello!" Gon beamed, "Can I have all of those Choco Robos?"

That caught Killua by surprise because Gon paid the vendor and took all of the Choco Robos; the seller was surprised herself because she was a little bit hesitant to hand over the chocolates but she did so anyway. The smile on Gon's face was far too contagious, and the woman couldn't help but smile and accepted the payment without any complaint.

She turned to give the Choco Robos to Killua.

"For me?" He asked, blinking.

"Yep! Thanks for sleeping with me last night."

Killua blushed, "don't mention it. I had a good sleep anyway."

"Mmm, can I keep your jacket?"

"…uh, yeah sure…"

"Hey, what's taking you guys so long?" Kurapika came up with Leorio next to him.

"Kin got me some Choco Robos."

Leorio stared at the huge bulge of chocolates in the red plastic bag. "I don't think that's some…"

Gon giggled sheepishly. "That' on me, I owe him."

Kurapika made an amused noise. "Okay, okay you love birds, let's go~"

"W-We're not love birds!" Killua sputtered.

XXX

Colt ran around the house in desperate search for Kite. He ran across the hall, picking up the toy pieces that she left scattered on the floor, and sliced books and torn up book pages. The man groaned in frustration as he tried to pick up the mess that the little child has done.

"Reina-sama!"

"I told you my name is not Reina! I'm Kite!"

"I—Kite-sama please stop that, our guests will be arriving soon. What will they say if they see the mess you've done? They're going to want to leave!"

"Then let them leave! I don't need friends or visitors!"

A minute later, a knock was heard from downstairs. Colt flinched and picked up the child that was waving her arms in the air. "Kite-sama! Please change your clothes!"

"NO! I like this outfit! Now go get the door!"

It was absolutely hopeless; Colt sighed heavily and ran towards the door to open it for the guests who was patiently waiting in front of the doorstep. Gon had a bright smile on her face, Killua was blowing up his bubble gum, Kurapika was next to Leorio with their hands on their bags and belongings.

"Welcome! I've been expecting you!"

"I'm glad to see you again, Gon!" Kite said with a smile on her face.

"Gon?" Killua blinked, and Kite stared at Killua.

Gon was silent. They didn't notify Kite in advance that they were going to visit her, as a matter of fact; they never told Kite that Gon turned into a girl. It was amazing how much Kite recognized her in a matter of seconds. The black-haired girl bit her lip, knowing that she probably blew her cover until Kite crossed her arms. "I call her Gon because she reminds me of him, she's kind of like Gon, don't you think?"

"Yeah… She does," Killua agreed. "But it really just surprised me that you called her Gon."

"Oh, I didn't mean to call her that—what was your name again?"

"It's Kin," Gon said, staring at her straight into her purple eyes.

Kite understood then what was going on. "How has your training been going so far Kin? Talked to Ging-san yet?"

"You know who Ging is?"

"Of course she does; if she knows Gon, it's a possibility that she has encountered Ging-san as well.

"We were actually here to ask you for help," Kurapika came in quickly, trying to make the awkward tension go away. Colt noticed this as well and grabbed their bags.

"Please, let's drop of everyone's things in their designated rooms before we get into further conversation."

XXX

"You need help finding your mom, you say?" Kite asked, crossing her legs. "I don't see why not, but I also have some training to do. It's not easy having a body like this."

"We figured that much, so we thought why not you tell any places for us to train?" Leorio replied, drinking from a cup for tea.

"Well…" Kite thought seriously then closed her eyes. Gon, Killua and Kurapika were listening closely. "There this village, naku kori; if you head south from here, the whole place will start to snow and a path will lead you there. You will meet a girl named Jonoa. She's a magic hunter—Kin, this is your chance to revitalize your abilities. You may not have your nen, but you can use something else. Magic."

"Magic? Isn't magic like nen? If Kin doesn't have a nen, she can't cast any magic."

"Yes, but it's different for her. She's a specialist. With or without a nen, she can still remain in the battlefield. I found a great deal of information about your mother Kin, and she was not just a hunter, she was a magician hunter. Now, I want you to see Jonoa because your mother trained under her. I have already spoken to Jonoa, and she's expecting you in a week."

Gon was surprised. "How did you know that I was searching for my mom?"

"Ging-san told me," was Kite's simple answer.

"Jonoa has silver white hair and golden eyes—she is the source of power why Naku Kori is a village full of snow. She'll put you through training, as well as the three of you—so you can learn new things from her."

"How do you know how she look like?" Killua asked suspiciously.

"Because—" Kite revealed his Crazy Slots, "she helped me restore my nen back to its original usage. With a twist of magic of course."

"I still don't understand. Isn't nen exactly what magic is supposed to be?"

"A little, what kind of magic you can cast is an entirely different matter. Magic comes from uchi, from the person's paradigm of strength." (1)

"Our perspective of strength?"

"It's much better to see it for yourselves, explaining it won't suffice. Begin your journey as soon as possible, but for now, please rest here. I have not seen you guys in so long—and I've never exactly been introduced to these two men…"

"Oh! I'm so sorry, yes; Kurapika, Leorio, this is Kite; Kite this is Leorio and Kurapika!"

Kite nodded at the introduction and she shifted to face Killua. "You've grown taller, Killua. It must have been all that traveling with your sister."

"Yeah," Killua said embarrassingly. "I'm back now, to help Kin find her mother."

"Ah yes," Kite furrowed her brows and became uncomfortable. She stood up and motioned for Colt to the kitchen "I'll show you to your rooms. Colt will prepare us something to eat for dinner."

XXX

"Kin, I want to speak to you. Come."

Killua who was in the middle of unpacking nodded for the girl to go; with an apologetic bow, she walked out of the room and followed Kite down the hall. They turned left afterwards, into Kite's room where dozens of toys have been scattered all over the place. Gon scanned the room, and watched as Kite reached over a panel hidden from the wall and a secret door appeared next to the television.

"So Gon, update me."

Gon scratched her head, "there's really not much to update you… just that I became like this."

"Yes and do you feel anything strange? Did you do anything strange? Like you casted anything but never knew how it came to be?"

Gon shook her head and Kite sat on her desk. "My crazy slot was not only restored, but it has upgraded as well. Jonoa gave me the ability to look over someone's memory, although I don't necessarily know when and how to use it… I just thought you might be curious about a certain someone."

"A certain someone?" Gon blinked, but something clicked. "You mean like… Killua?"

Kite smiled in content. "Yep."

"What's there to see?" The girl whispered, clenching her hands into a fist. "I've caused him so much pain, the distance was far enough for me to realize that much. I have nothing to see, I already know."

"You know what you think you know," Kite said, crossing her legs. "But what you know is not the truth. Only I can see memory lane, and I decided to do you a favor in advance. I already know what Killua had in mind about you."

"Me? As Kin?"

"As Gon."

"What? When was this?"

"When I said his name. I initiated Memory Jar when I said 'you've grown taller, Killua.'"

"Then… what did you find out?" Gon frowned.

"What do you want to find out?"

"If… If he hates me or if… if he left because he couldn't forgive me…"

"He never hated you to begin with Gon; he left for Alluka. To give her an opportunity to see that her powers are not for evil but for good, but for that in exchange to save your life, it meant staying away from you as much as he could until Alluka was able to protect herself in the outer world." Kite sighed and placed her hand on Gon's. "He had always wanted to be by your side, to see the world in many forms. To train together, to grow old together, you guys have a bond of true friendship that would never break."

Gon's eyes widened and clutched her chest with the other hand. She didn't expect this, not at all. "I hurt him so much, Kite…"

"You hurt him, but that doesn't mean he'll hate you. Did you see how eager he was when he came over to Whale Island to see you again? He looked so devastated when you, as Kin, appeared and found out that Gon left for your sake. All he wanted was to make it up to you again and protect you, it was something he couldn't do back then."

"That's all he did! He had always protected me, even if it meant to the death… but all I did was drag him down. I was such a good friend…"

"He didn't think he protected you enough, you almost died back then. He didn't want it to happen again. He didn't want to lose you. You were his first and only true friend."

Tears started to stream from Gon's eyes. The pain, and guilt started to swell inside of her and she couldn't contain it. Kite stood up from her seat and quickly dashed behind the crying girl and held her tight. She remained expressionless, but rubbed the other's back in comfort.

"Gon…" Kite said calmly. "We know how much you missed him, the determination you had back then might have helped you hide that fact so well, but that can only hold off for so long."

"I know…" she cried between breaths. "But now that I'm a girl, I can't help but keep it from him. He'll have to protect me all over again."

"Isn't that okay? It's not like he'll protect you forever. When you get your strength back—when you get back on your feet… you can protect him, along with your other two friends. Do the things I couldn't do."

"Yeah…" Gon cheered up a little. "Thanks, Kite."

"No problem," She replied with a smile and patted Gon's head. "Now—about your tears."

Gon blinked, her tears were still flowing. "Uh… yeah, sorry… I just… I felt so bad, I can't stop crying…"

"Gon? Do you remember your mother's name?"

"Uh, yes… Onodera…"

"The great Onoedera!? Ging… Onodera… I didn't think they would get together. They're completely opposite through personality—I guess that's where the saying opposites attract comes in…"

"Where are you getting to, Kite?"

"You must be a part magic hunter Gon, but there is only one way to find out. Close your eyes, and imagine yourself in the darkness… Let your tears show you the way."

XXX

And so she did. Gon closed her eyes and her tears stopped just like that. She was surrounded by darkness, and when she opened her eyes, a path appeared in front of her. A path of water just above her feet; she looked around and shivered in the cold.

"Gon," a woman's loving voice called out. "Gon…"

"…mom?" Gon looked ahead and started to run, water started to fall from the sky.

"Gon…"

"Mom!" Gon continued to run and a bright light shun ahead of her.

XXX

A vision of Ging and Onodera appeared in a flash.

"Do we really have to do this?" Ging sighed.

Under a dark blue coat with a white glowing crescent moon on its back was a woman with green hair. Her face was barely visible and she held a sleeping child in her arms, it must've been Gon; the woman kissed his forehead and removed the necklace that was wrapped around her neck then on to her child's.

"If you and Gon continued to stay beside me… you'll both be harmed. ? shouldn't know that Gon is in this world. This will protect him, and I want you to protect yourself too; focus on your archeology and become a strong hunter… Please, for our son's sake."

Ging groaned and scratched his head in helplessness. He hugged the woman and kissed her forehead then their baby's. There were tears falling from the woman's face, and Gon tried reaching out to her but she couldn't. The baby in her arms was trying to reach out for its mother but the woman shook her head.

"Gon, take care of yourself. When you're old enough, you can find me with your dad…"

"Onodera… do you really have to go?"

"? Will be looking for me, and he knows that my family is my weakness. He'll do anything in his power to hurt you and I'm not going to risk that."

She pressed the pendant to her child's chest and the baby slept peacefully as the pendant dissolved within its body. Gon's eyes widened and pressed her hands to her chest as she thought of the pendant that's within her.

"It will protect Gon, it will keep him from making careless mistakes. The pendant… it's a vile of his tears combined with mine. I casted second chance and I placed it as a curse. That he will never die until he decides to discard the vile within him on his own."

"Within…me?"

"Gon… Believe uchi and you will find what you're searching for… I love you."

And with that, the mother handed her sleeping child to its father. She summoned her staff that surpassed her height and waved it to the dark heavens. Three rings of light surrounded her and she reached out for Ging and the child with sadness then out to the sky as she finally disappeared for good.

Ging played with his son's hands. "I need to get stronger Gon, I need you to stay safe for me and your mother. So take care of yourself, alright Gon?"

"Ging…"

Ging looked up and stared at the present Gon. His eyes widened as he met Gon's extended his hand to the girl as he recognized that it really was Gon. Father's instinct, perhaps.

"Gon?"

"GING!" Gon ran towards him but she began fading away.

"Gon!"

XXX

"Gon," Kite's voice called out. "Gon, open your eyes."

Gon's brown eyes shot open. She sat up on the couch where she laid and gasped for air like she was suffocating. What just happened? Does that mean her mom was alive? That there was more to his life?

"What happened? What was that?" Gon was bewildered.

"This happened," Kite said showing her the object in her hands.

It was the pendant. The vile filled with sparkling tears that seemed like glitter on water. It was floating from Kite's hands as it was glowing, reacting to Gon's presence. She took the pendant from Kite's hand and a chain formed around it, an immense power flowed within her and she couldn't explain what it was.

"Are you ready for your new journey, Gon?"

AN: WOO! Okay, That was a long one. I'm going to keep adding some Gon/Killua saps here and there too.

(1) I'm making up my own set of magic. There's probably no magic hunters in Hunter x Hunter but this is why I said I don't own it. Magic Hunters are specialists—they acquired nen and conjure it into something else like magic. I'd argue that Nen is Magic, but let's make their journey a long one. At least Gon has something to look forward to!

(2) ? is actually a person. I don't know if it's a he or she or what he/she will be named so if you have an idea, please let me know! And yes, Gon's mother is alive. WOOHOO!

Please leave reviews. They'll be super appreciated!