So I was inspired to write another little thing about this. So yeah. Hope you enjoy.
Jordan leaned against the gym lockers as she admired the swim team leaving the pool from their meet especially a cute boy that she suspected to be the son of Merida considering his wild curly red hair. "Hey" Dina poked her side, "What are you looking at?" "Him" Jordan pointed at the red head and Dina mock-gasped "Are you trying to make your girlfriend jealous?" "Girlfriend?" Jordan stuttered uncertainly. Ever since her break up with Pierce she had been determined to move on. Aziz kept telling her it was a bad idea to repress the event like it never happened. But Jordan knew she was right. She had to deal that those kind of things would always happen to her so she might as well continue on with her life. After all her parents were able to do that just fine after centuries of abusive masters. So she just tried to keep her mind occupied enough as not to let unsavory thoughts remind her. And that included dating. Few dates here and there, one night stands at the most. Then she met Dina.
Dina was bubbly and fun, a nymph and follower of Dionysus whose partying had disturbing similarities to her parents. (Not that she wanted to explore any more of that. She would leave those complexes to Oedipus.) Her go with the flow attitude was so refreshing compared to the other classmates who were so concerned with their reputation. Royal or popularity-wise. So far, Dina had been casual during their dates so for her to mention that she was her girlfriend all of a sudden was surprising.
"Did I stutter?" Dina laughed, "I want you all to myself, babe."
"O-okay" Jordan pressed a kiss to her cheek. "So do you wanna go out tonight? I was thinking going to this new club run by Calix. You know, Circe's son. He said he would get us into the VIP room."
"Sure" Dina twirled a strand of her purple hair, "You know that dress you gave me yesterday would look so good on the dance floor."
Jordan bit her lip to keep from grimacing. As sweet as Dina was, she was about as subtle as a brick to the head in what she wanted. When Jordan had asked her out she saw Dina's eyes light up with the all so familiar gleam of a person that won the lottery and was thinking of all the things she could buy.
All through their date Dina kept mentioning how "cool" it would be to have her genie powers. Hinting at things she would like but didn't have money to buy. How nice Jordan was, that she was probably so generous.
Usually Jordan would have shut those hints down right away and ditch her date but that day she was tired of it. She was tired of fighting with people about getting wishes. Making a scene as she explained why she hated being objectified and how used she felt while the other person just yelled at how selfish she was. She was tired of people's nice acts stopping in a second flat when she refused. So she granted her wish. And the wish after that.
And the wish after that.
Okay, Dina may not be dating her because she had actual feelings or any interest of starting a romantic attraction. She wanted wishes like everybody else. But Jordan reasoned to herself it was better this way. She didn't have to have any high expectations or heartbreak that Dina only was sticking around for more wishes. She knew what Dina really wanted and she was fine with it. In return she got some semblance of romance as Dina pretended she was dating her for any reason but wishes. She just gave the wish quickly and moved on.
"But.." Dina started "I was thinking I would look really cute in that kind of dress only in teal and possibly while in a limo. I mean I just got my license and I would really love to drive a limo first."
"Done" Jordan said quickly trying to make the whole talk of the wish of the day go as fast as possible. "I'll see you at your dorm later."
"You are the best girlfriend ever!" Dina squealed, kissing her passionately on the lips. Jordan gave a thin smile in return. Dina, she tried. She tried to play off hee wishes as nothing and then would start piling on the compliments and affection the rest of the day. Jordan secretly hated it. It was so fake. It made her feel cheap and undeserving.
"Jordan don't overthink it. Just let her do it." She told herself as Dina strutted away.
Sometimes it was okay when Dina did that even though she tried waaay too hard. The focus was always on how generous she was with her wishes, that she "spoiled" her, she was too good. If Jordan had a wish, she would wish that Dina's compliments would be based on something like her personality, maybe how hot she was. Yeah, how attractive she was, that would be nice.
"Jordan?" She heard the familiar huse, slightly nervous tone of Jane.
"Yeah" Jordan snapped out of her mental reverie.
"I saw what you did for Dina. Why?" Jane sidled closer to her so the few left in the deserted gym hallway would hear. Not that they would bother. If wishes and magic weren't being offered, students generally tend to ignore them.
Jordan decided to go for the usual direct approched. She didn't usually sugar-coat things but with Jae she was more honest than usual. At least she didn't have to lie through her teeth about how totally fine she was with the magic ban. Besides Jane had a way that seemed to see through your soul or at least pester you until she heard the truth. "She's dating me for wishes. I give them to her. Then she tells me how amazing and great I am."
Jane looked absolutely befuddled at her blunt answer. "But but you always said you hated that. People dating you for wishes I mean."
"Yeah, I still do." Jordan said simply, "But I can't stop that. So I decided to go with it. I mean at least I have the choice of who I give wishes too."
"But..but that's so unfulfilling." Jane murmered
Jordan was surprised that Jane hit what she had been feeling on the spot. She had been feeling unfulfilled. All the bitterness and hatred she felt with her failed relationships had transferred to this relationship. Instead of hating herself for being stupid enough to believe someone would date her for her. She hated herself for giving in juse so she could be "loved."
"Sometimes but you know, we do have some nice moments." Which was true. In between the complimenting for wishes, and giving wishes they did have fun together. They did danced and partied and acted like a couple before the moment was ruined by Dina's sudden need for a wish.
"You don't need a relationship to be happy. Especially since you don't even have feelings for each other." Jane said
"I know that. I know that I should live myself and be happy. But you of all people should know how hard it is to take your mom's advice to heart." Jane shrank a little and blushed in remembrance of her actions during Coronation.
Jordan crossed her arms, thinking to herself. It was hard to be happy with her when she sometimes wondered if the fact no one seemed to see past her powers was that there was nothing there. She was nothing special or pretty or interesting. Maybe even a horrible person. A horrible, slefish, bitchy person no would hang out with. That her powers were the only thing at all redeeming of her. That kept people from shunning her or from snubbing her. That maybe..she dared to think that even her own adopted family kept her around as an friend for just that reason.
"And I don't need a friendship to be happy either. It should all be myself. But know what? I want someone else. I actually want to have that fairy tale romance that this whole place I built on with dreams and rainbows but I know I will never have it. So Dina and I may not love each other. She may be totally usng me but at least in the way she is using me I can pretend she likes me."
"But" Jane stammered
"Yes pretend. In reality I will never get it but at least if I let my mind drift I can pretend that she actually means what she is saying. Pretend she loves me. It's just so simple. It is so small. Everyone seems to have it but me."
"You can't substitute reality." Jane protested, eve the voice of reason.
"Jane, why are you being so unreasonable about this? Let me be! Let me be in my lying illusional bubble of happiness and pretend." Jordan hissed "Let me be happy for once."
"Jordan I don't think this will help at all in the long run. You'll just be unhappy and bitter."
"I'm already unhappy and bitter!" She snapped "I've stopped being truely content a long time ago. It's all lies but trust me, it is better."
"Nothing could be better than this. I understand what it's like that no one seems to see you beyond.." Jane began but Jordan put a hand up to interrupt her.
"You. Don't. Understand." Jordan annunciated, a habit when seething. "You barely knew or used you your powers since the VKs came. I've been dealing with this my whole life. And I am going to deal with it for the rest of eternity. We are not at all on the same level. You never will understand what it feels like when everyone asks for a wish before asking my name. You will never understand the pain of people insulting and rejecting and abandoning you at every turn that I don't give them what they want. You don't understand how much I hate myself for giving in. How much I hate being needy enough to want to be complimented and kissed. You don't understand the exhaustion that no matter what other accomplishments I do no will see past my powers. And you especially don't understand the nightmares and the pain of someone using your own powers against you. And you should pray that you never will because I will tell you. It feels like they are trying to rip out your powers and mesh them for their own use. You will never feel that utter despair and brokenness and know that it will not be the only or the last time you'll feel it. Nor the haunting thoughts of when and who might do it next.
So my reality is bitter. My reality is unhappy. I know my relationship is a utter lie. That it will be short and end with another one testifying my selfishness and how unreasonable I am about one simple wish. Those "teensy weensy" wishes that just only further prove that I am nothing. I'm just an wishing credit card to be desired and objectified. I'm not human. I don't have feelings."
"Jordan.. I.. maybe you should talk to.." Jane attempted to say something else. Perhaps take her to the guidance counselor or her mom.
"Spare me. I'm fully aware of what's happening and the state of our relationship and my own desperation. Don't pity me. And don't bother trying to fix it. There is no use. Accept it. I have."
All there was left to do was listen to Dina's sweet nothings and pretend that there was a possibility for her to live happily ever after.