Oh my glob, y'all! I feels like it's been a million years! School has started for me, which means I now have very little time to write. But guess what-MY GOOGLE DOCS IS FIXED! Which means I once again have access the the fifty-four pages of Artemis Fowl: The Twin Dilemma. Unfortunately, this re-debut section is kinda dull. But I'll try to get something up later, possibly later today, because I CAN! I CAN, BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN! AAAAAAAHHH! Anyway, enjoy!

P.S. IDOAF.

P.S.S. Spoilers for book eight.

Dublin, several hours earlier

Artemis Fowl II was the heir to the Fowl family fortune. He had kidnapped a fairy and ransomed some of her people's precious gold. He had helped to stop the goblin revolution, was the first human in history to make a deal with the People. He had rescued his proclaimed dead father from the Russian Mafiya. Twice, he had prevented the fairy people from being revealed to the world. Once by defeating an American business man who stole some fairy technology, the other time by thwarting a deranged pixie with delusions of grandeur. He saved the ancient demons from being cast off into space and time. He traveled through time to save a species of lemur and cure his mother of a magic illness. He developed and was cured of a psychological disease, and save his warlock friend from indentured servitude. He defeated Opal Koboi one last time, dying to save the world, and brought back to life.

Despite this, no matter how hard he tried, Artemis simply could not understand why this blasted car would not start on command. He could fly a plane, for goodness sake!

"Calm down, Artemis, and try again," his driving instructor said, in the most annoyingly patient voice. "Raise your foot slowly this time, just like I showed you."

This was the fifth attempt, and Artemis was beginning to feel more than a tad frustrated. "Your car is faulty, Mr. Murphy," he said, exasperated, as the car stalled yet again.

"Please, call me Kyle," the instructor injected clamly, for the ninth time in as many minutes. Artemis held in his sigh of frustration. He didn't know where his mother had found this man, but he was quite possibly the single most infuriating person that Artemis had ever had the misfortune of interacting with. At least at school, the teachers were forced to respect his intellect. But Mr. Kyle Murphy, driving instructor "extraordinaire", had spoken in the same, patient, repetitive manner since the lesson had started, showing no response to anything Artemis said except in trivial pleasantries, and a strange insistence on the use of his Christian name. "Why do you think that the car is broken?"

"Because, Mr. Murphy," Artemis vented testily. The man gave him a look. "Kyle, the engine will not even start, which I believe is essential to moving a vehicle."

"Alright, Artemis," Kyle consented, his voice still mild beyond belief. "Shall we switch, and I'll try to see what's going wrong?"

Artemis did not feel that this merited a verbal response, and instead simply unbuckled his seatbelt and slipped out of the right hand door, walking around the front of the car to take the passenger seat.

Kyle slipped into the driver's seat, buckled the seatbelt, pressed his feet gently on the pedals, and turned the key to start the ignition. The car let out a small noise, and Kyle released the handbrake. Of course, the car moved forward perfectly.

Artemis said nothing.

"I fixed it!" Kyle cheered. Artemis felt like he was being mocked. He wasn't entirely certain, as it didn't happen very often, but he definitely was experiencing the feeling of resentment associated with that scenario. It wasn't as though he couldn't drive; he had driven the family's Bently perfectly well on more than one occasion. Informing his instructor of this, however, had not made the slightest difference in how the man had wanted to teach his lessons. Still, there was no harm in trying to make his point again.

"I have never once had this problem in the Bently, Mr. Murphy," the boy said at length, hoping that Kyle did not notice the embarrassing stiffness in his voice.

"We have discussed this before, Artemis. This is the car we will be using. Now," the instructor said, slowing the car to a stop. "Watch me this time. Shall we try again?"

Artemis glanced at the clock on the dashboard. There was still another thirty minutes left of this lesson. He was beginning to regret agreeing to this arrangement.

I honestly, I must say that most of this section was written by my editor, who actually knows how cars work, and how they don't. ;b Anyway, more to follow!