A couple of weeks later we had my mother's funeral. Nobody seemed to create besides me, well I was the only one crying anyway. I could tell Carmina wanted to cry, but she was trying to be a big girl and not cry, yet there I was balling my eyes out. Once we got back to the after party thing ever one came up to me, giving me their condolences, which was nice... I guess. I made sure mums grave was all nice and tidy before we left to come home, although I'll be there every Sunday with fresh flowers anyway.
Five months later.
" Carmina you could have tidied the bathroom up!" I tutted as my sister had left the bathroom in a right state. People think I'm too harsh on her just because she's ten, but I mean it doesn't take a rocket scientist to clean up after themselves!
All I got back as a response was to piss off, charming! I didn't clean the bathroom up I left it for her too do. Wandering back downstairs to the kitchen, I sat down at the table, sitting in mums place. I let out a yawn, rubbing the now much bigger bump, I was nearly due, but that didn't stop everyone having a go at me. Leaning back in the chair I looked at the state of the kitchen, it was a mess. You couldn't actually see the sink for the piles of washing up, I rubbed my eyes a bit before standing back up again to start on the washing , else dad would complain at me for there being no plates. About five minutes later the front door opened, it was dad, back in from another drugs run, but this time he'd come home with his " crew" along with the crew at school with me , the joys! I ignored all the rude names that were being shouted at me and carried on washing. I knew if I turned on them I'd get it back, much worse. After about half an hour I finally finishes the washing up, I looked towards the dishwasher which needed to be serviced but dad was never in to let the people in so at the moment it wasn't working. How I wish it was!
Drying my hands on the tea towel, I walked out of the kitchen then made my way upstairs,closing my eyes slightly as I yawned. Walking into the bathroom to clean up, but to my amazement Carmina had actually cleaned. This actually shocked me, I shouted a " thank you" to her as she was in her room, I didn't get a response but I knew she heard me cos her music turned down a little before blasting back out. I walked into m room, closing my door behind me a little, before slowly leaning down and flopping onto my mattress, my back was now killing me from standing up so long. I closes my eyes and ended up drifting off before...
"Comfort get your arse down here and make us some food!"
I jumped as I opened my eyes, hearing m dad bellowing from the bottom of the stairs. I closed my eyes again as I let out a yawn. I laid there for a bit longer before hearing him making his way up to stairs. I crawled off m mattress and got up slowly, before walking to the stairs.
" Are you deaf!? I was gonna come up and drag you down I asked..."
" Yes dad I heard you first time! Id just fallen asleep. " I looked to him as he stood there on the stairs, the temptation just to push him down them came across me. He tutted as he stepped down.
" right well we want food were hungry so if you don't mind move your arse." He walked back into the living room.
I did a little salute out of sarcasm, before walking down the stairs slowly stepping into the kitchen yet again before making some random sandwiches up. I didn't make many cos I knew most of them would get wasted, although I wouldn't need to make any lunch for myself for school.
Walking into the living room I placed the sandwiches down onto the glass table, before being in in the drinks placing them down too. I didn't acknowledge anybody although I could feel everyone's gaze upon me. Walking back out, I washed the stuff up before getting a drink for myself and taking some chocolate out the cupboard, before taking it all upstairs with me. Placing the chocolate and the other food stuff I had picked up, I placed it into my secret stash of snacks. It wasn't very often I got to eat as dad said I didn't deserve it cos of getting myself pregnant. He secretly hoped that if he starved me I'd miscarry, well so far his wish hadn't happened.
Around midnight I think everyone left, I hasn't gone to sleep although I was knackered but I knew if I did I'd be needed again, or someone would come into my room and try it on. Once everyone went I finally fell to sleep, it didn't take me long either.
Walking into the school grounds, I looked round to everyone in the groups. I smiled a little to the lesbian group. Most of them spoke to me, especially one of them who fancied me. I sort of classed them all as my friends, but I didn't hang round with because if I did knew that they would get hurt. Enough people has got hurt because of me and I didn't want some people being hurt. I walked to the chav bench where I was made to stand up, shuffling every now and again as my feet were killing. In the end I ended up leaning against Jeff, who was the father of my baby. I didn't even realise I was leaning against him infill I ended up on the floor.
" do you mind!?" I shouted at him as I kissed my teeth at him. Looking up to him as he stood over me. I could feel most of the playground staring.
" well don't f***in lean on me then!" He shouted.
I looked up to him as I sat there, rubbing the bump a bit, I held my hand up, for him to pull me up.
" why you holding your hand out for bruv? Stand up yourself in it." He laughed as Wayne, the other group boss said something derogatory about me. I sat on the floor in till the bell went, before standing up by myself as they all left me. They waited for me near the entrance I decided to walk slower to annoy them.
" Come on comfort. God sake. You're taking the piss now you really are!" Jeff shouted at me as he grabbed my arm. I looked to him as I let him pull my arm.
" I feel sick..." I mumbled as I let him yank me along by my arm. Looking down as I put my other hand on the bump. I wasn't meant to be in school but I'd rather be here then at home.
" What do you mean you feel sick?"
" I think I'm going to be sick..."
" well make your mind up, you either feel sick or you're going to be sick. Make your mind up god sake!"
I glanced to Jeff, before I managed to say anything I puked over him.
The rest of the crew laughed, Jeff on the other hand wasn't so happy.
" Comfort!"
" I'm sorry I told you I felt sick..." I mumbled as I got a smack in the face. Leaning over a bit as my face started tingling from the smack. I closed my eyes a bit swallowing a bit as one of the teachers walked over after seeing what had happened.
" Come on Comfort let's get you sorted and Jeff get change into your pe kit." Miss Fenty said as she started walking me to the nurses office. Jeff tutted as he walked off mumbling away cursing me under his breath.
I go walked into the nurses office, being made to sit on the bed.
" I'm fine." I looked to the nurse as she looked at me. I could tell in her face she didn't believe me.
" I don't think so." The nurse replied as she looked to me. I stared at her, basically staring her down until she let me out.
Once I'd finally been let out, I ventured to the library settling down in there. Slouched down into the sofa, I ended up falling asleep. I must have been asleep for like three hours cos when I woke up it was lunch time. I couldn't decide whether to go and find the crew or stay there. I checked my iPhone as I felt it vibrate. I'd been summoned.
Picking my bag up I walked to the canteen finding the crew. I actually got to sit down for once, Jeff actually let me pick at his chips. I only had a couple andi felt sick again. Leaning over a little bit, resting my head on the table. My stomach ache was starting to get worse. I'd had all morning but I'd just ignored it. I think the crew had noticed i was in pain, as I wasn't eating and I usually ate like a pig, and I was rather quiet.
" You alright CJ?" Wayne asked as he sat there eating his baguette.
I glanced to him and just nodded slightly, before taking a sharp breath in.
" I'm just gonna go and have a wander round guys.. Think the baby is laying funny..."
I smiled weakly as I got up walking off. Walking outside into the playground. I put my hand on the bump as I walked round slowly, looking down. I walked straight into someone. I looked up, it took me a minute to realise who it was. Once I realised who it was I smiled.
" You don't look so good."
" I don't feel it too be honest with you. " I mumbled, smiling to Dixie slightly.
" No you don't seem it. You don't seem your cheery self. What's wrong?"
" I don't know. I'm just in pain. I'll be alright..." I cut off as I saw the crew, making out I slapped Dixie, she got the most straight away as she walked off holding her cheek where I had " slapped" her. I let out a deep sigh as I stood there, my head looking down. Both of my hands on the bump, underneath it. The pain was now starting to get worse. I ignored the crew shouting at me, as I was more interested in trying to get this pain to go away.
" Comfort!? Are you deaf or just stupid come on!" Jeff tutted as he walked over to me, then pushed me from behind me.
" Jeff... Please don't push me..." I frowned a little the pain starting to spread all along the bottom of bump.
" I don't care come on. We wanna go into town."
" go without me then... Jeff"
" no cos we want you with us. You can distract the guards with your pregnancy whilst we nick shit."
I didn't reply as I little out a little yelp of pain. Frowning I looked down a little.
Jeff looked to me as I stood there. " Comfort come on man stop messing!"
I stood there as I bit my lip a little, I didn't realise it, but I was actually in labour. I looked round a little.
" Jeff.. Go and get a teacher...this isn't right..." I whimpered a little as I held his arm a little. I looked round as I saw Miss Fenty, she was one of my favourite teachers. I could feel something trickling down my leg.
" Oh comfort man.. Seriously. If you ain't puking over me your like wetting yourself. Seriously stop messing about and come on!"
" Jeff she isn't messing about. Her waters have broken. Go to reception noe and tell them to ring an ambulance!" Miss Fenty looked at Jeff. She wasn't messing round, and for once Jeff did as he was told. He ran inside whilst everyone was starting to crowd round.
I looked round a little not knowing what was happening.
" Comfort you need to sit down I don't want you standing up." Miss led me to a bench as she made me sit down. I stood back up as it hurt to sit down, it probably didn't help with the bruises on my back. Looking down as I frowned a bit. Suddenly I realised what miss has said to Jeff.
"Miss... Am I..."
"yes Comfort.. You're having the baby..." Miss smiled at me as she rubbed my back softly.
I swallowed as I sat there, seeing everyone crowding round. I looked towards the entrance as Jeff came running out. He ran over but stayed back with the crew.
" Miss the ambulance is on its way..." He called to her.
" Thank you Jeff... Now dome over and calm your girlfriend down... You're going to be a dad soon..." Miss smiled to him.
Jeff stayed put.
I looked at him, I had tears in my eyes due to the pain. I held one of my hands out to him, beckoning him to come over. He stayed where he was.
I looked down a bit, blinking slightly as I let out a little cry of pain out.
What seemed like an age the ambulance finally arrived. I looked up to see my two favourite paramedics attending. I knew these two paramedics due to the amount of times me and mum were in hospital. I smiled weakly at them both as she they ran over when they realised it was me.
" Hello sweetheart... We didn't realise it was you..."
I looked to the female paramedic, she looked at me. I looked at them both , I could see in their faces they were shocked.
" full of surprises me... You should know by now Kathy..." I smiled weakly as I whimpered out in pain again, clenching my eyes closed. I could here them scrambling round sorting stuff out before I felt something being handed to me. I opened my eyes again.
" I need you to breathe onto this sweetheart. It's Entonox it'll help with the pain. " Kathy smiled at me as her and her colleague Jeffrey sorted the trolley out. They'd been allowed to park in the grounds so I could walk to the ambulance. I looked to the tube thing I'd been handed then put my mouth onto the mouthpiece before breathing it in. Biting the tube between my teeth so hard that I was hurting my teeth. I breathed it in. Looking to Jeff again, I wanted him to come over, it was his doing after all that I was pregnant.
He stayed put though. He had no intentions of moving.
"JC please..." I looked to him as I held onto the tube thing, as my other hand I held onto Kathy's arm as her and Jeffrey helped me up.
" I ain't going with you man. " he tutted as he stood there, his arms folded. Stood with Wayne at the front of our crew. All arrogant and cocky.
I looked to him then bit onto the tube again as I breathed the Entonox in as I stopped walking. I started walking again once the contraction had passed over. I managed to make it to the ambulance without stopping again. I sat down on the bed, looking to Jeff. I wanted, well needed someone with me. I didn't know what I was doing, I couldn't do it on my own. But it was obvious Jeff wasn't going to be there to see his child being born. I looked down slightly, blinking as a stray little tear slid down my cheek. I don't know if this was from the pain I was in or for the fact that Jeff didn't want to know. Kathy must have seen it as she slyly wiped my cheek for me as she leant over to sort the machines out.
I looked up again looking round.
"Miss... Where's Dixie ..?"
She looked round. " I don't know... Why?"
"Can you... Find her... I want her to come with me..." I looked to Miss as I smiled a bit. I fidgeted a little bit the pain was starting to get uncomfortable.
"You best make this quick. Else shell be having this baby in the back of the ambulance." Kathy looked to Miss Fenty.
" I have an idea where she is." Miss Fenty literally ran off.
I leant my head back. Listening to Kathy as she helped me breathe through the pain. By the time miss came back I had closed my eyes. I was starting to get worn out from the pain. I opened my eyes to see a nervous looking Dixie standing there. Before thinking I grabbed hold of her hand.
Miss closed the doors then we were off. Kathy stayed in the back whilst Jeffrey drove.
Within in five minutes we were at the hospital. I was rushed into ED. I looked round nothing had change since I was last in there. Everyone started crowding round me, as I had people feeling m stomach then looking up me to see how far dilated I was.
"Right Comfort you're ready to push. When you feel you need to push, push." The doctor looked at me as she smiled. I looked at her as I started to push when I needed too. I stopped pushing as I wanted Dixie in with me. But she wasn't allowed. She was stood outside the doors, looking in.
" I want my mum!" I shouted as I laid there, refusing to push. Kathy had stayed with me.
" Kath can you try and contact her mother..?" The doctor to Kathy.
Kathy looked to the doctor before whispering. " Her mother is dead.. She did about six months ago.."
The doctor and the nurses all looked at each other, then looked at me. I was starting to get myself into a state. Next minute I felt a familiar hand. It was Dixie. She had walked in and for once not being good, she was going against everything everyone was saying.
" look I'm the only person who cares for her ok. If you want her to have this baby I have to be here!" Dixie looked to them all. They looked to the doctor who just nodded.
" Comfort you need to push now ok?"
I looked to the doctor before giving in, I wanted this over and done with. I knew as well everyone else my mum wasn't going to come and help me I pushes with the last bit of energy I had.
Within the next few minutes, my life changed. I was now a parent. At the age of 11.
I could here the baby screaming. I got her brought over to me. I looked to her as I took her slowly, I didn't know what I was doing I just held her. Dixie stood there with Kathy smiling. Dixie took a photo on my phone for me, I then sent it to Jeff.
A few days later I got let out. I'd not heard anything from Jeff or the crew. My dad had not let me out of my room since I got home. The only time I had got out was to get a new tattoo. I'd gotten an angel wings on the bottom of my back. I'd decided to get the hail Mary tattooed within the wings. I also got my daughters name, Madonna tattooed on my shoulder. Madonna is the Italian way of saying Mary, so I thought sticking with the catholic religious was a good idea, as it was another way of remembering my mum.