A/N: Thanks to everyone who's read the prologue and added story alerts and favorites, and of course for my one review! (Yes, I know, I've been waiting for a story like this too!) Anyway, time for the meat of the story.

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Tell me

Come on, tell me what you can

Even as you wait for death, you're wiser than I am

Tell me what does it mean to exist

I am not a scientist, I must believe in more than this

And I cannot accept that everything is real

Is only what our eyes can see

And our hands can feel

Chapter 1: Reunions

Frozen in stasis, Kaidan struggled to not panic.

It was just a stasis. He'd been in worse situations. Not often, granted, but often enough that they didn't bother him. Not like this particularly situation was bothering him.

An enormous bug-like thing stalked past him, coming from the ship that looked so much like the one that had destroyed the Normandy . . . the one that had killed his Shepard.

No. Not killed her. Or maybe killed her and assumed her identity. That had to be it. If she was alive, she would have told him. She would have contacted him. A gruff, unhappy chuckle nearly rose out of his chest. Unless she'd lied when she'd told him she loved him.

A voice became evident, still off in the distance but just close enough for him to hear. He flared slightly, testing the boundaries of the stasis. One of his fingers twitched. It was a start.

"Prepare these humans for their ascension," the deep voice ordered. A corresponding chatter – Kaidan guessed it was from the bug-like things – answered it. The next order chilled him.

"Locate the Commander."

#

Spectre and former Systems Alliance Lieutenant Commander Marrakech Shepard had never run so much in her life.

The Collector ship loomed in the distance, slowly pulling its huge bulk out of the ground as the A-D towers fired after it. Miranda was yelling at Joker through the comm, warning him that the ship was leaving. Shepard scoffed, pushing herself harder. Like Joker hadn't realized that.

She had to reach that ship. She had to find him.

Her ground team, not fueled by the same sheer panic, was having a difficult time keeping up. Miranda's catsuit creaked as she tried to run and not break an ankle in her heels; Garrus, still recovering from catching a rocket with his face, was having problems catching his breath; Zaeed jogged after her with extremely vocal complaints; Mordin was behind Zaeed, struggling to examine a piece of the flying thing with laser-beam eyes he'd collected; Kasumi and Jacob, who were both in fairly good shape, were having the least problems keeping up but didn't possess the same frantic motivation as Shepard.

Kaidan is in there. Kaidan is in there. It repeated itself like a mantra, Shepard clutching her shotgun close to her chest. Kaidan is in there. Kaidan is in there.

With a shriek, the Collector ship broke atmo and sped away from the colony. Shepard stumbled to a stop, staring after the ship blankly.

Kaidan is in there! Something inside of her exploded – blind fury made her waste a clip unloading her shotgun into the air after the ship, as if it would make the Collectors turn around and risk the A-D gun in order to appease her. With an aggravated groan as her squad caught up to her, she slammed her shotgun back into its casing.

Kaidan was gone.

That mechanic sprinted up after them, his screaming echoing her own frustration. Shepard found her face unconsciously reforming itself into her Commander Mode.

"No, no! Don't let them get away!"

Garrus finally reached her, glancing down at her. "Shepard, I'm sure Alenko wasn't . . ."

"I don't know," she murmured, staring after the ship.

"Half the colony's in there!" The mechanic continued to rage, hands wrapped in his hair. "They took Egan and Sam an-and Lilith!

"What do you want me to do, ask them to politely turn around and get their cockroach asses back here?" Shepard snapped, twining a hand in her own hair. "I did everything I could."

Zaeed caught sight of a shiny Collector weapon and wandered off to take a look at it, followed closely by Jacob and Kasumi. Mordin continued to poke at his flying-laser-husk pieces, making notes on his omni-tool. Only Miranda and Garrus seemed to notice Shepard's discomfort.

"You did more than most people would have, Shepard," Garrus assured her.

"Shepard?" The mechanic turned back. "Wait, I know that name. Yeah, I remember you . . . You're some type of big Alliance hero or something."

"Commander Shepard," someone corrected. Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as Kaidan slowly stepped out from behind a stack of nearby crates, her shoulders sagging underneath her armor. "Captain of the Normandy, first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend, Delan . . ." He paused, still trying to work his mind around what was happening. "And a ghost."

"All the good people who get taken and you get left behind. Screw this. I'm done with you Alliance types." The mechanic stumbled off, back towards the colony. Shepard took a tentative step forward.

Kaidan hadn't believed it when she'd sprinted past his crates blindly. He'd been able to draw on enough of his biotics to worm his way out of the stasis – thank God for that metabolism – but had been too weak to pursue the Collectors themselves when they'd suddenly all taken off for the interior of the colony. When the defense towers powered up, he'd cussed whoever had landed for completing what he couldn't . . .

And then a ghost sprinted by him, firing hopelessly after the retreating ship as if through sheer willpower she could destroy it. Exhaustion had turned to shock, disbelief as he spotted Garrus sprinting after her – couldn't Garrus realize that she had to be a fake?

Shepard was dead but here she was, standing in front of him.

"Kaidan?" Her voice was nearly silent. Miranda watched studiously, and Kasumi trotted back over with a small smile under her hood. Garrus stepped back, trying to give them space.

Kaidan took a step towards her, unable to keep his disbelief out of his eyes. Shepard stood still and after a brief pause he pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair – God, she even smelled like her. She clung to him like a lifeline, relief pouring out of her body like a flood. "I thought you were dead, Marra," he finally murmured, regretting the need to let go of her. "We all did."

Shepard's heart fell. "You don't sound happy to see me. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Kaidan snapped, jerking away from her. This was an imposter, wearing his Shepard's face . . . but if Cerberus wanted to play this game, he could. It took every fiber in his being to spit out the next words. "I spent the past two years believing you were dead. I thought we had something, Shepard. Something . . . real. Hell, I loved you. Thinking you were dead tore me apart – how could you put me through that? Why didn't you try to contact me – why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

She reeled back as if he'd hit her, confusion furrowing her brow. "I wasn't even conscious, Kaidan! I was –" Her voice failed her, and she swallowed. "—clinically dead. Or in a coma. Or something. I spent the last two years on an operating table while Cerberus rebuilt me."

Kaidan paused, and took another step back from her. Cerberus rebuilt her. Right. "Then the reports were right."

"Reports?" Miranda asked, then scoffed. "So much for security."

"Alliance intel thought Cerberus could be behind the missing colonies. They got a tip that this might be the next colony to get hit. Anderson basically stonewalled me, but there were rumors that you weren't dead. That you were working for the enemy." Kaidan's eyes slid over to Garrus. "And Garrus is too."

She drew a slow, shaking breath, eyes flicking down to the ground. The expression highlighted what looked like exhaustion, glowing orange scars reflecting in the sunlight. "Building those towers was just a cover story. The Alliance sent you here to investigate me, didn't they?"

Kaidan stepped forward again, and Shepard again resisted the urge to throw herself at him. "I was here for Cerberus. I want to believe you're you, but I never expected anything like this. You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance . . . you betrayed me."
Shepard had had enough. She glared back at him with the expression that had nearly made Udina piss himself. "Sorta hard for me to do that, since there was that whole 'I've been dead for two years' sort of deal going on!"

By now, Mordin was watching curiously, mumbling about human interactions and raised body temperatures. Zaeed and Jacob were still arguing over the assault rifle, trying to figure out how to recreate it in the Normandy's armory.

"And you expect me to believe that?" Kaidan shook his head. "How is it even possible for Cerberus to resurrect someone? It—"

"I'm not a traitor, Kaidan! You know me. You know I'd only do this for the right reasons! You saw it yourself – the Collectors are targeting human colonies, and they're working with the Reapers!"

"I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus." Something Anderson had said about manipulation echoed in his head, and he swallowed.

Shepard shook her head. "Neither do I!"

"They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if they're working with the Collectors?"

"Damn it, Kaidan!" Garrus finally decided that he couldn't let Shepard continue to take the beating Kaidan was doling out. The turian bristled behind her, highlighting the cybernetics coloring the side of his face. "You're so hung up on Cerberus' reputation that you can't see the big picture!"

She raised her hand, silently ordering him to stand down. This needed to be her battle. "Don't you think I thought about that?" She struggled to keep her voice steady – probably only Kaidan and Garrus caught the small waver that colored it. "Do you seriously think I wouldn't have considered that?"

"I don't know. Did you? Maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you're the one who's not thinking straight." He searched her face again. "You've changed – but I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier – always will be." He turned to leave, starting back into the colony proper. "I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story."

"Kaidan, please." He turned back, eyes tracing the thin scars that traced her face, the faintest glint of cybernetics behind her vivid evergreen eyes. Maybe she was right. Or maybe they'd just had to do biomedical updates to make sure the imposter looked like her. Sounded like her. Felt like her. Smelled like her. "Come with me." She resisted the urge to scream that she needed him, that she wanted him, that she wouldn't be able to survive without him. That Cerberus was sending her into almost certain death, and that she wanted him to hold her and tell her she could do the impossible again.

His orders repeated themselves in his head. If you see Shepard . . . confirm her identity. And if you have the opportunity . . . get onto her ship. She'd just invited him, almost begged him. He'd only heard her beg once, when the ship had been grounded after Virmire. Before Ilos.

The knot that had started in Anderson's office returned with a vengeance. He wouldn't disobey orders. Especially not of if someone was disrespecting Shepard's memory by putting on her face.

If that was the case, he owed Shepard – loved her – too much to let the charade continue.

"One condition," he half-growled, turning back. "I'm still Alliance, and I still answer to Anderson and Hackett."

Shepard drew herself up to her full height, which was a fairly terrifying sight considering the sheer amount of armor and firepower she carried. "You can liaise between a Spectre operation and the Alliance, since this involves human colonies and human interests in the Terminus. I'm fine with that. My one condition: can you follow my orders in the field?"

"In the field. But only your orders." He glared pointedly back at the woman wearing what looked like a white catsuit – a distracting white catsuit – emblazoned with a Cerberus logo on her chest.

"No!" Aforementioned Cerberus operative stepped forward, promptly protesting. "This is a Cerberus operation, Shepard, all recruits must be cleared by the Illusive Man before –"

Shepard spun on her. "Wrong, Miranda. This is my operation . . ." she took a step forward, until the two women were nearly nose-to-nose. "Unless you'd like to admit that your sole purpose is to ensure that I do what the Illusive Man wants, whether I recognize it or not."

There was a tense silence as both women flared, Shepard's biotics still tinted green by the Eden Prime beacon. Kaidan closed his eyes – how could they have recreated that? Those Cerberus bastards had somehow taken everything that was Shepard and –

Miranda finally broke eye contact, taking a brief step back. Shepard nodded. "As I suspected." She turned back to Kaidan, her eyes flickering briefly with – what emotion would that be? She extended her hand with a nod. "Welcome aboard, Staff Commander Alenko."