Chapter 2 - Dancing Mad

A/N: this was inspired by Kefka's habit of bending over and slapping his rear to taunt his opponents in FF Dissidia. I've had the image of him doing this stuck in my mind for days, and it won't go away until I write it.

Sometimes being completely out of your mind had its perks. Kefka often laughed and told Bellatrix that it meant he could do anything he wanted, such as screaming death threats and obscenities at everyone in sight. And because they knew he was crazy he could get away with it.

"People don't take me seriously," he said. "They think, 'oh, pay no attention to Kefka, he's just off on one of his lunatic rants again.'" He said this in a mild, casual tone, discussing his insanity with Bellatrix as though he were making plans for a Sunday afternoon picnic. "Which is why I like to surprise them, keep them on their toes, make them wary of crossing paths with me."

A smile spread across his lips, and Bellatrix knew right away that he was planning something. She pawed at the red and yellow ruff around his neck, the way she always did when his talk of death and destruction was turning her on. "I love how calm you are when discussing what you're going to do to these poor fools," she said.

"Yes, well you see, Bella, I've always thought that, as long as one can talk sanely about madness, they aren't that far gone. I know exactly what I'm doing. I just don't care is all."

Later that evening as the sun set over the Imperial Palace, people began to gather from faraway to attend the thirty first annual Imperial ball. This extravagant party drew people in from as far away as Jidoor, with the wealthy citizens of this high class society joining the upper class members of Vector for an evening of food, music and dancing.

Emperor Gestahl sat beside general Leo, a glass of wine in hand as he watched the gathering of people enjoying a pleasant evening together. The lull of general conversation and light background music had gone uninterrupted for the last three hours, with everyone enjoying themselves as well as the food and beverages provided by their host.

Gestahl leaned over in his seat, and whispered in Leo's ear, "You haven't seen any sign of him yet?"

Leo shook his head. "No, sir, I have not. Perhaps he is ill and will not make it this evening."

"How can you be so sure of that?" asked the emperor.

"Well, he was complaining about having a stomachache this morning at breakfast. He then fled the dining hall without finishing his meal."

Gestahl leaned back in his seat, taking a moment to ponder Leo's words. The physical symptoms of Kefka's illness had subsided after he returned from the wizarding world. There were still times when he experienced fevers, tremors and occasional blackouts. But the majority of his health issues seemed to have gone away now that he was no longer being used as the Empire's personal lab rat.

Still, he doubted that Kefka would pass up an opportunity to cause some sort of mischief and mayhem. And if he was feeling sick again, that was usually a warning sign that he was on the verge of going on another one of his murderous rampages.

Sometimes the emperor wondered if he had done the right thing, allowing Kefka to be used as a test subject in Cid's experiments. He knew what Kefa was capable of, he knew the signs that Kefka was about to lose it, and often turned him loose on the enemies of the empire at the exact moment when his rage reached its peak and was about to explode in a firestorm of violence and death.

Kefka was a monster, but was he any better, setting the deranged man loose to run wild in the streets like some rabid beast that craved blood and destruction? He looked over at Celes. She did not share in Kefka's torment. She hadn't been subjected to the same torturous acts that had shattered Kefka's mind. She was both strong and mentally stable, with no signs of the madness that plagued her fellow Magitek Knight.

His thoughts were interrupted when a wicked cackle filled the air. He and Leo both looked up, their eyes wide, as Kefka suddenly materialized atop one of the tables in the ballroom.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," said Kefka, smiling at the people in the room. "So good to see you here, because we have some fabulous entertainment for you this evening, brought to you by the finest performer the empire has to offer."

Leo covered his face with his hands and groaned. "Oh no, here we go again."

Bellatrix was waiting in the wings, watching as Kefka spun around on the table and shouted at the band leader, his high pitched voice carrying across the room.

"You there, play something with a good beat so I can shake my booty!" he cried. The band leader hesitated, and Kefka conjured a ball of fire in his right hand. "Did you not hear me? I said play!"

A lively tune filled the air as Kefka laughed and dissolved the fireball in his hand. Leo and Gestahl then watched as he plucked the feathers from his hair, pulled back his flowing cloak, and tucked them down the back of his red and blue pants, making him look like he had sprouted a feathery tail.

"Yoo-hoo, Bella, darling!" Kefka called out, bending over on the table and playfully slapping his butt.

"Oh, dear god, no," moaned Gestahl.

Bellatrix laughed at Kefka's childish display as he wiggled his feathery rump, dancing and swirling his bum in circles while the music played.

"This has got to stop!" said Leo, rising from his seat and running towards the table Kefka was dancing on.

Kefka shook his butt, laughing as the music played. He kept on dancing, even as Leo neared the table and started shouting at him, demanding that he stop. He waited until Leo got close, then kicked up his heels and cracked him in the nose with his foot, sending the general reeling as he fell backwards clutching his bleeding nose.

Bellatrix laughed harder when she saw Leo back away, blood streaming from between his fingers. She bent over double, laughing until her sides hurt, then looked up to see Kefka humming a pleasant tune, a broad smile on his painted face as he started using more provocative movements to get her attention.

Her eyes widened at the sight of him running his hand down the front of his multicolored shirt, past his stomach, and over his groin, all while rocking his hips forward and back, his feathers waving to and fro with the rhythm of his body. With his free hand he beckoned her, the seductive smile on his face calling to her from across the room.

The people in the room stared at him, a few of them snickering and giggling at the sight of this man, dressed in brightly colored jester's clothing and dancing on the table.

Leo tried again to stop him, but Kefka leapt up into the air, laughing as he came down on the general's back just as Leo dove across the table at him. He tap danced on the unfortunate general's back, and a few of the people in the crowd started to laugh. Surely this was some sort of scripted performance that was scheduled to play tonight.

Before Leo could recover from being stomped on, Kefa jumped off the table and ran to where Bellatrix was waiting in the wings.

"That was brilliant!" Bellatrix cheered, bouncing up and down like an excited child. She threw her arms around him, kissing him on his painted lips.

"I'm glad you enjoyed my performance, darling," said Kefka when they finally came apart. "Now all we need is to go out with a bang!" He then spun around, hurling a bolt of lightning through the air where it struck the chandelier in the center of the room.

The chandelier exploded, raining shards of glass down on the people below, as electricity crackled and arched through the air above their heads. The exposed wires sparked and flames leapt from their severed ends, just as Bellatrix and Kefka ran from the room, their laughter following them as they disappeared down the hall.