A/N: The second chapter, in which Dib narrates for awhile and Ila begins the transition from almost-Sue to full-Sue.

Dib watched the new girl out of the corner of his eye. She seemed normal enough, but appearances could be deceiving. He knew that first-hand.

Sure, on the outside she looked like an ordinary teenage girl. Jeans, sneakers, a tank top, and a backpack covered with faded patches and buttons. She was even fairly pretty, with long pink hair and narrow eyes—one was blue, and one was green, giving her a unique look. But Dib couldn't shake the weird vibe he was getting from her.

He stared at her hand. She was holding a pencil above a notebook that she had dug out of her backpack. She seemed ready to take notes, but her enthusiasm was fading fast. It looked like she had already figured out that Miss Bitters rarely said anything worth taking note of (of course, Dib had some of her stranger quotes in a folder at home, labeled "Miss Bitters—Ordinary Schoolteacher or Vampire-Demon?").

He counted her fingers. No, Ila had the right number for a human. Irkens only had two, plus an opposable thumb.

Of course, that didn't mean that she couldn't be some other type of alien. Or maybe she wasn't an alien at all—maybe she was some other sort of paranormal entity. Like a ghost, or a vampire, or...

Dib shook his musings from his head and looked over at Zim, whose eyes were nearly closed with boredom. Zim. Four feet of pure alien evil, the Earth's worst nightmare, and Dib's arch-, mortal, bitter, and eternal enemy. The destruction and/or capture of whom was his only purpose in life.

He hated to admit it, but Zim was sort of Dib's early-warning system for anything out of the ordinary. The alien could usually pick up on stuff that humans couldn't; Dib didn't understand it yet, but he was thinking of calling it the "Zim-sense." He suspected that it had to do with the fact that the invader was naturally suspicious of anything on this planet.

But Zim doesn't seem too concerned with Ila, Dib reflected as he turned his attention back to the new girl. The alien had been decidedly freaked out about Tak, but it appeared that the new girl was simply another "human worm-baby" to him. One of Zim's favorite expressions. Dib knew this because he had multiple files just for the interesting abuses of the English language that Zim used, and he—

"Dib!" Miss Bitters snapped, leaning down to growl at him. Unconsciously, Dib leaned back in his seat; even though his investigation of the teacher was supposed to be neutral, he was leaning towards the vampire-demon side. "Stop staring at Ila and pay attention!"

"Yes, ma'am," Dib muttered, ducking his head before he could see the laughter of the other kids. He heard it, though; they loved when he got in trouble.

Zim was laughing the loudest. When Dib glared at him, he grinned viciously. Another defeat for the stinking inhabitants of Earth, he could almost hear him saying. It was stupid how seriously Zim took even the smallest of battles; how seriously he took the things that weren't even battles.

What was even more stupid was how seriously Dib took them.

He looked away, feeling anger stirring within him. I'll get you yet, alien scum...

Now Ila was giving him a weird look. The kind of look that girls give the guys who are stalking them. Dib pointed to Zim, then made what he hoped was a that's-an-evil-alien-who's-trying-to-destroy-all-of-humanity gesture. It must not have come across like that, because the new girl raised one pink eyebrow in bewilderment and faced forward again.

Ila had lost even feigned interest in whatever Miss Bitters was saying (something about an organ transplant from a squirrel to a human going horribly wrong and creating Squirrelboy, the monster that terrorized the Midwest to this day), and had turned around to rummage in her bag. Dib was highly interested in the fact that she had taken it off; further proof that she wasn't Irken. He didn't really know what the deal was with Zim's backpack, but he never removed it. It seemed to be surgically grafted to his spine. Tak had worn one, too, and so had all of the other members of the Irken race that Dib had seen so far. Which wasn't exactly a large number to go off of, but still.

Ila glanced at him for an instant, then narrowed her eyes further and turned away. Dib ground his teeth in frustration. It seemed that Ila, like the rest of his classmates, was a lost cause. A total moron. An ignorant fool who couldn't see the truth even when it was sitting across the room from her...

Wait a minute. What had she just pulled out of her backpack? Was that...

Dib squinted. Yes, it was. Popular UFO. An alien conspiracy magazine that he subscribed to, and enjoyed on occasion. The articles usually seemed like they did their research.

But for Ila to have it was momentous. Earth-shattering. Now, it could have meant that she was just a science-fiction nut. But a sci-fi geek had to be at least a little more willing to accept paranormal stuff than the average person, right? And maybe...maybe that willingness could grow into belief, with hard proof. And that belief could be all Ila needed to join the fight for Earth.

Dib's hair trembled with the excitement of it all. Maybe she was different from the others.

"Miss Bitters?" Zita called, raising her hand. The teacher glared at her.

"What?"

"Dib's staring at Ila again."

"Quit it!" Ila snapped, slamming down her magazine and glaring at him. "What's wrong with you, anyway?"

Dib was about to launch into a full-on "Zim's-an-alien-and-I-can't-believe-that-you-haven't-noticed" rant (which the class had managed to avoid for the past week and a half; he felt that it was about time for a refresher) but the laughter cut him off.

"Foolish Earth-beast!" Zim called from his seat. "Even your own people reject you. It's kind of sad, really..."

"Shut up, Zim!" Dib growled. Usually, it took a couple of insults to set him off, but today, he was more on edge than usual. He was about five minutes away from tackling Zim and initiating an epic battle for the planet (which, incidentally, the class had also avoided for the past week and a half. Dib's speeches and his epic battles for the planet tended to go hand in hand) when Miss Bitters took control of the situation.

"All of you!" she snarled. "Silence! SIIIIIILEEEENCE!"

The children finally settled down, and the teacher went on with her lesson. Ila settled back into her seat to read. Zim smiled at Dib again before sinking back into his half-conscious state of boredom.

"And so, the teenagers almost instantly realized the mistake of bringing nuts, salted or otherwise, out into the wilderness with them. No one is quite sure just what happened to them, but we can be assured—" Miss Bitters' lecture was cut short as the lunch bell rang. The majority of the class cheered as they began to flood out. Ila stuffed her magazine into her backpack, then slung the strap over her shoulder. Before she could leave the room, Dib leapt into her path. The new girl sighed deeply.

"Get out of my way," she said tersely.

"Listen, you have every right to be weirded out," Dib started. "But please, hear me out."

"Why should I listen to you?" the new girl complained. "You're crazy."

"No I'm not! Zim really is an alien. I can prove it. Just please, meet me after school..."

A knowing look flashed across Ila's face. "Oh, I get it. This is one of those "weird-kid-makes-stuff-up-to-get-attention" things, isn't it?"

"No!" Dib shook his head vehemently. "I've been inside his base. I've talked to his leaders. I've stopped his plans to take over the world about thirty times. Please, you gotta believe me! I saw you reading that magazine. You have to be at least interested in what I'm saying."

Ila looked taken aback for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure. "You really are crazy. Why would I go anywhere with you?"

"If I had just one person to support me, I might be able to get rid of Zim once and for all!" Dib pleaded.

"Forget it." Ila pushed past him just as Miss Bitters noticed that two children remained in the otherwise-empty classroom. The teacher's admittedly hairy lip curled slightly, and Dib moved towards the door before she could expose the fangs that he was almost positive she had. He grabbed Ila's shoulder.

She spun around with furious hissing sound that reminded Dib eerily of a noise that Zim made every once in awhile. He barely even felt her foot meet his ribcage, but he definitely felt the wall that her kick sent him flying into. He slumped to the ground, dazedly reaching up to rub his head as plaster and sheet rock rained down around him.

"Stay away from me, freak!" Ila was gone before Dib could fight his way past his concussion and formulate one last, pleading response. It was pretty obvious that she wanted less than nothing to do with him.

Well, Dib thought wearily as he struggled to his feet and mentally counted the minor fractures in his skeleton, that could have gone a lot better.

He brushed chips of paint from his hair, then hurried out of the classroom, determined to catch up with Ila.

But it could have gone a lot worse, too.