It felt like days passed before he woke up again, though they assured him it had only been a matter of hours. It seemed he wasn't out that long in the first place – the clock on the wall bears the date. It had only been two days and even then only just. It was the middle of the night; his mother was sitting on his left hand side and on his right was -

- not Kaoru. Just Haruhi, who looked just as exhausted as Yuzuha.

"Hey, honey…" His mother smiled tiredly, leaning toward him, "How do you feel?"

"Where is he?" He grimaced, pausing as he began to sit up, one hand rising to touch the bandage wrapped around his head. It hurt, but he felt clearer than he had done before, "Where's Kaoru?"

"He's upstairs." Yuzuha smoothed the bed covers distractedly and Haruhi's hands tightened a little around his as he tried to take stock of his surroundings and his own health. He had aches and pains here and there, but they probably weren't any big deal. He had more pressing things to contend with anyway.

"I can go and see him, right?" he started to sit up again, even as his limbs ached in protest, and the two of them put out their hands to stop him. "Honestly, I'm fine…"

The glances they exchanged across him made him nervous.

"…is he all right?"

"He's okay." He'd heard that before.

"That's what Kyouya said. It's been ages since then! Why isn't he here? He's all right, isn't he?" The silence answered his question better than either of them ever could. And even Haruhi refused to meet his eyes. "What?" He asked quietly, a feeling of dread building in his stomach. "What, he's not all right? What are you not telling me?"

"He's in a coma, sweetie." Yuzuha whispered. Her hands had stilled atop the blankets, and she wouldn't look at him either.

There was a long silence as Hikaru tested the words in his head, trying to fit them with what little he could remember about the incident.

"That… that isn't right…" his voice came a little breathlessly when he finally spoke. "Kaoru didn't… he didn't hurt his head or anything, I was the one who…"

"He almost drowned," Haruhi said quietly. "He insisted they take you first - they couldn't get you both out at once, and one of the helicopters was a little way behind. He slipped under before anyone could get to him."

"You managed to tell Kyouya-kun you'd been in the water for a while." Yuzuha interjected, "That Kaoru had been trying to keep you awake." Hikaru couldn't remember the conversation but he nodded, already trying to get out of bed.

"I've got to see him," They immediately made to stop him again. "Haruhi! Mother, he... please…"

"Sweetie, it might not be the best idea for you to see Kaoru right now. You're still tired and it might not do you any good…"

"Why?"

"Because- !" She broke off, a look crossing her face he'd never seen before. It was almost tortured.

"Because it's hard enough on the rest of us." Haruhi finished quietly. Yuzuha visibly collected herself.

"Yes. Thank you, Haruhi."

For a while, Hikaru didn't say anything.

"You don't think I can handle it?" he asked eventually. "It's really that bad?"

"He's not breathing on his own, honey," Yuzuha had resumed her smoothing of the bedclothes again, "There are machines everywhere and it… it's not nice."

"I still want to see him. Please, Mom…" He knew Haruhi had edged back in her seat a little to avoid being caught in the battle of wills between them. "…please."

They stared at each other for a long moment.

"…I'll find a doctor," Yuzuha acquiesced softly.

Upstairs it was sterile, fluorescent-lit, and quiet. An orderly pushed the wheelchair – Hikaru had realised (once on his feet for a few brief moments) that he wasn't going to stay standing for very long. Pain medication or no, his head pounded and spun when he tried to get to his feet, and his legs felt like they were made of rubber and barely able to hold his weight.

Haruhi walked with Yuzuha. There was no sound but for their footfalls, and the occasional squeak of the wheels. He just wanted someone to say something. The silence was killing him.

The room they arrived at was as still as the rest of the floor, though spared the harsh lighting – illuminated instead by several lamps. Unable to stand the wait he'd stumbled out of the wheelchair at the door and staggered to the bedside. It hurt, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Kaoru mattered.

"Hika-chan!" Honey had been sat on a chair near the foot of the bed, knees drawn up and stuffed bunny clutched to his chest. Two other chairs were taken too – by Kyouya and Mori, one on each side, both seemingly sound asleep, having each taken possession of one of Kaoru's hands.

Someone else's arm caught him gently around the waist – he didn't need to look to know it was Tamaki, of course it was Tamaki - even as the blonde chastised that he shouldn't be here, should be resting… there was more talk and motion going on around him, but it was lost on him. He was too busy fighting to get closer to his brother.

"Kaoru… Kaoru…" With no idea what was safe to touch his hands worked uselessly at his sides, vision blurring and voice choking as he moaned his brother's name in anguish. It was shocking, what mere water had managed to do to his brother. He wasn't moving, wasn't even breathing the way Kaoru breathed. The machines made soft noises as they pumped air in and out of Kaoru's lungs. It sounded wrong, too mechanical, too timed for it to be normal.

The path to the bedside was suddenly clear, and Hikaru slipped free of Tamaki's supporting hands to sink down at the edge of the bed.

"Kaoru…" He implored softly, taking Kaoru's hand and pressing it to his cheek, "Wake up. Wake up, Kaoru, please…"

He was so cold, so pale and he looked so tired. He didn't show any reaction to his touch at all, and that in itself was frightening. Even if he was asleep, Kaoru would know if Hikaru was there, acknowledge his presence somehow even if it was something as simple as smiling, or turning into his touch.

"Please," he repeated. "Kaoru, please…"

Somewhere behind him Honey whispered again, "Hika-chan…" but he wasn't really listening. There wasn't anything beyond them, beyond the eerie way the light seemed to pool around the bed. The world had contracted to the way he held Kaoru's limp hand against his cheek as if he could be brought round by touch alone, to the desperation in Hikaru's voice, more than the words he was saying.

He isn't dead, he tried to reassure himself. He's not dead, and nor am I.

Because of him.

He couldn't remember how it had happened, and that was the hardest thing of all because this had to be a mistake – because if he could maybe remember something, bring to light some small fact that they were missing, they might be able to fix everything.

His head kept making stuff up to fill in the gaps – he'd slipped on his board, hit his head, fallen. Kaoru must have jumped straight in after him, though how they'd ended up out in the open water with only one of their boards he wasn't sure.

Everything beyond the fall was a tangle of confused images – Kaoru breaking the surface of the water with a gasp, pushing his hair out of his eyes before closing the distance between them; Kaoru pulling most of the damaged tack off the board and encouraging him to climb onto it.

The storm clouds gathering in.

Rain pelting down on them like bullets.

Kaoru's gasping breaths as he struggled to keep them both afloat, the board suddenly gone.

Hikaru didn't realise he was shaking until a pair of slender arms wound around him from behind, reaching up to smooth back his hair.

"Baby…"

"I think this is my fault," He choked out eventually, a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks and coming to a stop against fingertips that should have been wiping them away before they got that far, "I don't know what happened, I don't know what he did, but he…"

"It's all right, sweetie…"

"He was scared, Mom, he must have been so-"

"Shh, baby…" Very, very gently, she disengaged his hand from Kaoru's and drew her son close to her chest as he gasped and sobbed, rubbing his back in slow, tender circles, "Shh, baby, shh…"

"It's my fault-"

"Shh…"

The room had quietly emptied, the club members moving off to give them some time together. It made the sounds even more pronounced – Kaoru's mechanised breathing, Yuzuha's soft reassurances, Hikaru's desperate sobs. She gently threaded her fingers through his hair.

"Honey, you need to get some rest. You're tired…"

He shook his head, pulling back a little way and lacing his fingers through Kaoru's again.

"I can't leave him." He protested, his eyes now caught between the slow, slow beeps of the heart monitor. "I can't leave him all alone like this…"

"He's not alone, sweetie." She stroked his cheek. "Your friends are all staying close by. They've been making sure that there's always someone with each of you. No one is going to wake up alone."

"I mean I don't want him to wake up without me." Hikaru corrected desperately. "I don't want him to be scared…"

"I know," she replied gently. Her sons had hardly spent a night apart in their lives – never if they could help it. The last thing Hikaru would want to do, after everything that had happened, would be to leave his brother by himself in a hospital so far away from home. It didn't matter if Hikaru was only a few floors below, it didn't matter if their friends were there with him.

And the last thing Yuzuha wanted was to see her sons separated by force.

"The doctors say he isn't very likely to wake up in the next few days," she began, reaching out again to tidy his hair, "Even if he does, they're keeping close enough an eye on him that they'll know a good while before it happens. We can't do anything to move the two of you closer together until the morning, so I need you to be patient and wait this out for me. Can you do that?"

It was a while before Hikaru nodded, albeit reluctantly.

"Is he gonna die?"

Very gently, Yuzuha cupped his chin in her hands, turning his face towards her, voice and face earnest.

"Hikaru. We can't think like that, okay? We can't. He's in a bad way but the doctors are looking after him. I know it's scary, but Kaoru needs us to be strong. And he needs you to take care of yourself, okay?"

He nodded again, looking back to the bed again.

"If anything happens…"

"Someone will let us know, I promise." She smiled gently, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Let's get you back to bed."