I don't think i like most things the world very much. don't get me wrong i don't hate the world. i hate whats in it and the lies people spread. Most people say follow your dreams and they will come true... but my dream is to live in peace.

no i am not talking about the don't fight bullshit or the 'war is bad' stupid shit either.

no. i mean a life where the people who don't do anything wrong, the non greedy and the people who just want to be on there way with there normal life don't get caught up with the greed and violence of bullies,war, and the government.

my situation is that i have no home. im ok with this. i don't know if i have parents and if i do have parents i don't know what there situation is. but im fine living in the streets near the woods.

i hunt,i play, i sometimes go to the library to learn and its peaceful. as far as i'm concerned the woods are my home.

but lately people have been trying to get me. trying to bring me out of the woods. i always hide because i don't want to go anywhere and i'm perfectly fine here. i know some of them want to help but the system is way to bad for me to fit in. but there are also the ones who want to... i don't know what its called but they are trying to get a hold of me for a thing called 'selling' and 'money' i really don't know what selling is but i do know what money is some slip of paper people exchange for items, but i'm not an item so there's no way i'd let anyone catch me.

while i was running after a deer(tricky little meanies they are. one of them tried to kick me when i wanted to hunt it) i tripped on a root and fell. normally i'd be ok but for some reason they turn around and ran at me. i quickly rolled to the right... right into a tree. The deer turns around and lashes its front legs at me. the all i see next is black.

rey:"huh where am i"

i open my eyes to the spot i woke up in that day...AWESOME... AM I IMMORTAL?

im so excited that i run and twirl and jump around... so i continue with my daily life. except this time i dare to go out into the forest and find an apartment.

the owner lets me stay in an apartment for free seeing i am a kid.

the next morning i get taken to an orphanage and get taken to school. its fun. i made new friends, new peers, new people. i didn't even know you could have this much fun outside the wood

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i'm walking my way towards high school. i hope i will be in the same class as the rest of my friends.

i have had a nice life. way better than the woods.(forgot about being immortal) when i get to my class kya comes up to me and asks if i want to help her study.

me:"sure ill walk with you. ill make sure you will get all the problems"

kya:"hehehe thank you rey you are such a life saver"

we talk about what happened at school and what classes we got and if we like the teachers as we walk to her home. but i notice that we aren't there yet and that its getting dark so i ask

me:"ummm... when are we going to be there? not to be rude or anything."

kya:"no worries we are almost there. in fact here it is"

she opens the door to the 2 story house and walks in and i follow she sits down and says

kya:"come. come. sit down and lets get started i'm going to have a hard time with this if you don't help me"

i'm about to sit down when suddenly i can't see anything anymore.

kya:" keep him in the bag. he's just a poor orphan kid. why does anyone like him? especially more than me? lets begin to kill him in the worst way you can think of... don't get me wrong rey im not jealous. it's just boring since daddy usually buys me people to kill but no one will notice you.. right?"

i am then stabbed repeatedly in my legs for the remainder of the day while screaming until she finally kills me(2nd time dead). then i wake up again only to find im still there but this time she peels my skin off my legs and lets it grow back for a few months until i bleed out(3rd time.). i wake up only to feel unimaginable pain when she starts scooping out my eyes while some other unknown person is cutting my arms and stabbing my legs... why wont they stop(4th time)

i escape After the fifth time then i realized i'm not immortal.. these are like loops. and i can't control it...

i start living my life until im old. i died again but i start back to when i'm four. i do it again but with a family but i still dont die permanently. going back to a four year old. this happens a lot more times until... huh...

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how long has it been since i first died?... i can't remember.

how long since my first kill. i killed too much..

how old am i now. more than a hundred millennia but stuck in a four year olds body.

i stopped talking and trying to get close to people. they won't remember me anyways.

let me look back to the earlier stages to see when i became... so indifferent...*sigh*

1st time i thinks its a dream where im immortal and can do what

10th time i thought it was a nightmare where i sees my friends and everyone i know die many times

25th time i thinks its a real curse where irelives my regrets and sorrows

50th time i stop waiting till im old and start commiting suicide to see if it stops

100th time i am broken and started killing everyone,everywhere,anytime. i fail sometimes but eventually i kills everyone on earth then i kill myself

150th time i goes through depression and i die of hunger and thirst many times as i refuse to move from my room because there is no point in living

200th time he starts finding new ways to die. because if im gong to die anyways might as well die in every way

250th time i start learning how to fight

and start learning all martial arts and all skills i can

300th i tried to explore. and i look in every single place i can get to

i repeated these cycles again and again and again...

i have seen every possibility, every end, every choice.

every way you could die i done it

every way you could torture yourself i done it... it hurt a few times... until my pain tolerance turned me into basically... i dont even know

every way to help people i done it

every way to kill people i done it

every book. i read it

every martial arts. i mastered

every skill. i earned it

every name. i been called

but yet... i can't seem to feel any sense of accomplishment... all i feel is emptiness and sorrow and guilt. so i hide behind a small straight lips and squinted eyes for i am afraid that what i will see is the same things ive saw more than a million times, same ones i used to love that i cant love because of this curse, same humanity i cant seem to care about anymore because i saw too much bad than good, same children that i know the all the paths they can take.

every time i look at the picture of my friends all i think is " what i know they will die so whats the point" or " cant get too attatched. they dont deserve someone as broken as me"

so now i just wonder around... i will see what happens next in my spiteful life.