A Holy Concern
Relationships SasuNaru/NaruSasu
Rating: M
A.N: Dirty stuff ahead.
Naruto's tone was pregnant with despair.
"All these years of calling you asshole, asshole and this is what I had in store... Should've known, uptight bastard like you will turn out to be no different in b-"
Sasuke managed to quell the blonde's melodramatic monologue with a withering look. The Uchiha intimidation technique was just as efficacious even when its user was twisting his swan-neck from his current position on all fours, his impeccable unclothed derriere sticking up in the air like an antique piece for auction.
"I didn't whore myself out like you, idiot!"
Sasuke wasn't feeling hurt that his lover didn't seem to cherish his yet unsullied innocence. Well, as innocent as beautiful shinobis like him could be. Nope, it was beneath him to feel such a ridiculous sentiment.
Naruto pouted.
"It's not my fault you have always behaved like you'd rather mess around with tomatoes- "
Naruto's eyes were alight with dawning horror.
"You didn't, you know... umm with tomatoes ?"
Sasuke gasped, scandalized. To even contemplate something like that... it was akin to blasphemy! There were three things in the world whose debasement, real or perceived, Uchiha Sasuke couldn't forgive: Mikoto, Itachi and finally, tomatoes.
That was it.
Springing to his feet from his genuflecting pose with lethal grace, Sasuke pinned one stupefied Naruto to the wall and rammed himself into him in one vigorous stroke.
It didn't take long for the moaning blond to realize that Uchihas were naturally assertive in more ways than one.
As they collapsed on to the floor after a high octave aerobics session, Naruto, dripping with contentment and other things, told himself that he'd more than enough time (and just the right kind of paraphernalia) to cure his lover's rather literal condition of tightarsedness.
Uchiha Sasuke was an anal freak, after all.
P.S: I can't believe that I actually wrote something so...yeah. I solemnly blame Jeanette Winterson and Timothee Chalamet plus peaches for beguilingly leading me to this road. Never doubt the maxim, people: We're all Kakashi.