I missed writing about Haru and Sumi so I wrote this. Yeah, it's kinda like . . . slow and uneventful? But Haru and Sumi fans will enjoy, I guess. Enjoy!:D
Babysitting
Yusuke grumbled and reached for the phone as it rang loudly by his head. He rolled over, sat up and snatched it, putting it to his ear.
"What?" He snapped into the phone, glancing at his clock to see the time. He had slept in, again. It was almost three thirty.
"Hey, dude." Yusuke rolled his eyes at the sound of Kuwabara's voice.
"Hey, what?"
"I need to ask you a favor."
Yusuke could hear Hiei say something and Shizuru shout something back at him, laughing, in the background. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair.
"Don't tell me." He whined, flopping back down onto his bed. "Please, don't tell me."
"Well, Shizuru and Hiei are going out for a few hours." Kuwabara said softly, sounding as if somebody had scolded him. "I really need your help."
"But, Kuwabara – babysitting??"
"They're just babies." Kuwabara huffed into the phone. "How hard could it be?"
"Well, if it ain't hard then why don't you do it by yourself?"
Kuwabara let out a sound that was a combination of a grunt and groan.
"Just get over here."
With that, Kuwabara hung up. Yusuke looked at the phone in his hand, the dial tone echoing. He sat up and put the phone back onto its cradle then got up to shower and get dressed.
And hour later, Yusuke was at the front door of the Kuwabara family apartment. He stretched and yawned audibly, resembling a lion. He raised his fist to pound on the door when it flew open, revealing an angry looking Kuwabara.
"Don't even think about it." He said lowly. "They're taking a nap."
Kuwabara moved out of the way to let Yusuke in. Yusuke shoved his hands into his pockets as he made his way into the apartment.
"If they're asleep, why did I have to come over?" He asked, flopping down onto the couch. "It seems like you've got everything under control."
"Don't be such a dick." Kuwabara said, sitting down next to his friend. "If they were going to sleep the whole time, I wouldn't have called you."
"Yeah, you would. You would have been bored shitless without me."
"I guess." Kuwabara shrugged then turned to the television, picking up the remote and flipping through the channels. "Nothing's on."
"Except stupid talk shows like Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil or Montel."
"Or Steve Wilkos." Kuwabara leaned back into the couch. "That guy's a bad ass."
"Meh," Yusuke shrugged. "He's just a big bald loud mouth, like you."
"Hey!" Kuwabara shouted, punching his friend in the shoulder. "I am not bald!"
"Ow, ya dick!" Yusuke jumped at his friend, punching at him. "Bitch, I'll kill you!"
The two began to wrestle on the couch, calling each other names and beating on each other. They were unaware of the bedroom door that slowly creaked open or the little girl that tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the living room. She stared at Kuwabara and Yusuke fighting each other on the couch.
"What're you doing?" Sumi asked, her head tilted to the side.
The two stopped; Kuwabara had Yusuke in a headlock and Yusuke was about to punch his best friend in his baby maker. They jumped away from each other and smiled at Sumi.
"Nothing, princess." Kuwabara answered, going to the three-year-old girl and picking her up.
"I can't sleep." She pouted. "Where's mommy?"
"Mommy went out, remember?" Kuwabara kissed Sumi on the forehead, holding her. "It's just your favorite uncle watchin' over you."
"But I don't see Kurama." She said innocently, blinking as she looked around the room.
Yusuke snorted and covered his mouth to keep from laughing; the sad look on Kuwabara's face was hilarious. Kuwabara shot a glare at his friend then turned back to his niece.
"You're just playing, right princess? I'm your favorite uncle, huh?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Sumi chirped before kissing Kuwabara on the cheek.
Yusuke laughed out loud at the thought of Kuwabara being a woman. A crash in the kitchen made him stop. He and Kuwabara looked at each other then went into the kitchen to see Haru on the kitchen counter, a chair lying on the ground. He looked down at the chair, an open jar of peanut butter in his hand.
"Hey, kid!" Kuwabara laughed. "What're you doing?"
"Nothing." Haru said in a singsong voice.
"Doesn't look like 'nothing'." Yusuke said.
"I'm hungry." The little boy answered, sitting down on the counter and eating the peanut butter out of the jar with his hand.
"Don't eat the peanut butter, kid." Kuwabara said, taking it from Haru. "Too much'll make you sick."
"But I want peanut butter!" Haru whined, folding his arms over his small chest.
"Too bad, we'll make you something else." Kuwabara put Sumi down on the ground then put the peanut butter away. "Wait, did you guys eat already, like before your parents left?"
"Nooo." The twins said in unison.
"Don't trust them, Kuwabara. They're like gremlins." Yusuke shook his head as he helped clean the peanut butter from Haru's face and hands with a wet paper towel.
"I dunno . . . are you guys really hungry?"
"Yes." They said together again.
Kuwabara sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Okay, what do you want?"
"Candy!" They shouted together. "We want candy."
Kuwabara and Yusuke blinked then looked at each other.
"Should we give 'em candy?"
"I dunno, my sister doesn't like them to have candy, says it makes them hyper or something."
"What's the worst that could happen?" Yusuke asked.
The two looked at the twins then looked at each other then shrugged. They left to Kuwabara's room to grab his secret stash of candy he kept under his bed.
Yusuke's question was answered twenty minutes later as he and Kuwabara sat, dumbfounded, staring wide eyed as the three year old literally bounced off the walls, screaming their heads off.
"What's the worst that could happen?" Kuwabara groaned through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to punch his friend in the stomach. "This is the worst that could happen, Urameshi!"
He jumped up, hearing Eikichi howling and hissing from somewhere in the apartment. He ran towards the sound to rescue his baby. He saw Haru holding Eikichi and trying to put a onesie that belonged to one of Sumi's dolls on the cat. He had cat scratches on his arms and on his cheek.
"Hey, drop her right now!" Kuwabara shouted, startling Haru.
Haru dropped the cat immediately and looked up at his uncle with wide eyes. Eikichi fell to the floor, landing on her side then rolling onto her feet and running out of the room to the safe haven of Kuwabara's room.
"Okay, kid. You're in time out," Kuwabara said, swooping the kid up. "Let's get you some bad aids first."
He jumped at the sound of glass breaking from the kitchen then ran from the room to see Yusuke picking up broken glass from the floor, Sumi sitting on the table and watching him. Milk dribbled from the table where it landed in a pile on the floor by Yusuke.
"What happened?"
"It fell over and spilled then rolled off the table!" Sumi exclaimed.
She got up and jumped towards Kuwabara, her arms out as she flew towards him. He caught her in his arm then stumbled back and fell to the ground.
"Let's play dress up!" Sumi exclaimed, tugging at her uncle's hair.
"No, I wanna play cops and robbers!" Haru said, pulling at Kuwabara's face.
"I wanna play hide and seek!"
"I wanna play Candy Land!"
"I wanna play Russian Roulette." Yusuke mumbled as he threw the glass away.
"Quiet game!" Kuwabara shouted, sitting up and holding the twins as they fell into his lap. "Let's play the quiet game!"
"What's that?" Sumi asked, a stray black curl falling in her face.
"It's a game where you see who stay the quietest the longest, who can go without talking for the longest. Whoever talks, loses."
"Let's play!" The twins exclaimed.
Kuwabara put a finger to his lips, silencing his nephew and niece.
"The game starts now."
"You lost, uncle Kazuma!"
"Oh, you lost too Sumi!"
"You both lost." Kuwabara groaned. "Okay, the game is starting now. Uncle Yusuke and I aren't playing."
The twins hopped from Kuwabara's lap and sat on the couch to watch some cartoon, both silent. Kuwabara stood and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah, I got this totally under control." He mumbled, glaring at Yusuke. "This place is a mess, we gotta get it clean before my sister gets home."
The two began cleaning up the apartment, straightening things up and putting things away as the twins sat quietly on the couch, not moving.
As Kuwabara and Yusuke left the room to clean up the rest of the apartment, Haru kicked his sister. Sumi smacked her brother in the chest, giving him an angry look. Haru matched the look and shoved her. Sumi's angry look deepened and she shoved him off the couch. Haru jumped back up and pulled on Sumi's hair hard. She screamed and slapped her brother in the face, making him let go and fall backwards.
"You big meanie!"
"You lost!" Haru taunted, poking at his sister's face. "You lost, you lost!"
"You lost too, you jerk!"
"You're a brat!"
"Well, you're a . . . a . . . an asshole!"
Haru gasped and his eyes widened as he pointed at her. Sumi's eyes widened with fear as her twin brother uttered two little words.
"I'm telling!"
Haru ran from the room, calling for Yusuke and Kuwabara as Sumi chased after him.
"Uncle Kazuma, Uncle Kazuma!" Haru shouted at the top of his lungs. "Guess what Sumi just said!"
"You lost the game, kid!" Kuwabara said, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm.
"Guess what Sumi said, Uncle Kazuma?" Haru repeated as he danced around Kuwabara's then Yusuke's ankles. "Guess what, guess what?"
"It was an accident!" Sumi whined, looking as if she were about to start crying. "I'm sorry!"
"She said 'asshole'!" Haru gasped, covering his mouth with his hands. "Oops!"
"He said it, too!" Sumi pointed, sticking her tongue out at her brother.
"Where did you guys learn that word?" Kuwabara shot an angry glance at Yusuke, who shrugged and shook his head wildly.
"Daddy." The two said in unison.
Kuwabara and Yusuke looked at each other and sighed. Of course, it was Hiei. He tried to clean up his language as the kids grew, but sometimes it would just slip out.
"He says it about you a lot, uncle Kazuma." Sumi said, holding onto her uncle's legs.
Kuwabara blinked as Yusuke snorted and laughed loudly. He resisted the urge to hit Yusuke in front of the children. He turned back to the kids and picked them, muttering under his breath.
"All right, I'm sorry but you guys gotta be in time out for a while. That's a bad word, little kids can't say that stuff." He said, sounding sincere as he carried then into the living room. "No TV, no talking."
He placed them on the couch then picked up the remote and turned the television off.
"Are we playing the quiet game again?" Haru asked, fiddling with a loose thread on the couch.
"Yes, and if you're good, uncle Kazuma and I'll give you more candy."
Kuwabara flinched at the word "candy" and turned to glare at Yusuke, who smirked back at him. The twins gasped and looked at each other then put their hands to their mouths to keep them quiet.
Five minutes later, the twins were released from time out and were given each one piece of candy.
"Can we play tea party?" Sumi asked.
"Sure, I guess." Yusuke and Kuwabara shrugged.
"Yay!" Sumi exclaimed, grabbing them by their wrists and dragging them to the room she shared with Haru. "I'm going to make you pretty ladies! Haru, come help me!"
"Wait, what?" Yusuke and Kuwabara asked in unison, looking at each other with wide eyes.
A few minutes later, Kuwabara sat on a tiny plastic white chair; his hair up in several tiny pigtails and his face covered with his sister's make up. He made an atrocious looking woman, especially with the grumpy look on his face. Sitting across from him was Yusuke, who had a ponytail at the top of his head. Haru had done his make up, saying he wanted him to look like a warrior of some sorts, but ended up just covering his face with blue eye shadow and red lipstick.
"We look like drag queens." Yusuke smiled, picking up the tiny pink tea cup with a finger and bring it to his lips.
"I dunno about you," Kuwabara smirked, picking up a graham cracker from the pink plate in front of him and eating it. "But I think I look like a sweet transvestite."
Yusuke chuckled and shook his head.
"You sure do."
"Would you like some more tea, Mrs. Penny apple?" Sumi asked, standing and picking up the small teapot to refill Yusuke's cup.
Kuwabara snickered at the name Sumi called Yusuke, retrieving a glare from his friend. Yusuke held his tiny cup out to Sumi and let her pour him more water. Haru yawned from his seat in between Kuwabara and Yusuke and a few seconds later, Sumi yawned too. The two adults looked at each other, giving each other a knowing look
"Okay, kids." Kuwabara said, standing up. "Time to clean up."
Yusuke helped the kids clean up as Kuwabara went to the bathroom to wash his face and when Kuwabara came back and took things over, Yusuke went to remove the make up from his face. After they cleaned up, they went to the living room and watched a Disney movie, yawning occasionally.
"Look at them." Shizuru whispered, smiling as she watched the two sleeping on the couch. "They're exhausted."
"Who knew this would take a lot of them?" Hiei whispered back, picking up Haru from his sleeping spot on the floor. "It's just babysitting."
Kuwabara and Yusuke lay on the couch, cuddling together and snoring softly as they slept. Shizuru picked Sumi up from her sleeping spot on the recliner then covered her brother and his best friend with a blanket.