AN: Sorry about the wait. Like, really really really sorry. And also, I'm sorry that this is so short and the end is just kinda... there.

The One Where Everyone Else Finds Out:

"Yang!"

Christina raised her eyebrows and stopped dead in her tracks. She turned slowly and frowned. When the hell had he gotten back?

"I need a favor," Mark said as he rounded the front of his Mercedes.

Christina cocked her head. "And that has something to do with me?"

"I just need you to watch her for forty-five minutes. An hour at most," Mark told her. He pulled open the car's back door and ducked into it.

Christina, meanwhile, was seriously contemplating making a run for it. She had just taken her first step towards freedom when Mark reappeared from inside the car. The look on his face conveyed clearly that she wasn't to take another step or there would be hell to pay. She cursed under her breath and turned her full attention back to him.

This, she later decided, had been a much better option than hightailing it out of there. The reason?

Once Mark had kicked the door closed Christina's jaw dropped. There was no way, no way in hell, that Mark Sloan, self proclaimed plastics god and man-whore extraordinaire, had a bright pink Vera Bradley diaper bag slung over one shoulder, a plastic baby carrier grasped tightly in his hands and…

Christina blinked and shook her head.

There really was a pale pink pacifier dangling from his lips.

"Her name is Sophie," Mark said, transferring the pacifier from his mouth to the baby's in the carrier. Somehow, Mark managed his way over to Christina and handed her the carrier and then stooped down and began rooting through the diaper bag.

Christina stared down at Sophie, bug-eyed, and watched helplessly as she managed to work the pacifier out of her mouth and over the edge of the carrier. With reflexes she never knew Mark possessed (except, maybe, when it came to stripping down), he'd grabbed the pacifier mid-air and stuffed it into his mouth in one fluid motion. He continued rooting through the bag as Christina stared at him with revulsion.

"There you are," Mark mumbled to something inside the diaper bag. A second later he produced a small, brown teddy bear and held it up for Christina to see. "This is Pooker. If she starts acting up just lay him next to her. She's fascinated with his nose for some reason."

Christina nodded mutely.

"I have to talk to the Chief about my resignation so I shouldn't be too long, okay?"

"What… Er… Where's her mother?"

"Addison's at the spa with a friend of ours," Mark said and helped Christina work the diaper bag onto her shoulder.

"Oh."

"She's been fed and burped. Which," Mark glanced at his watch, "is why I'm ten minutes late for my meeting."

Christina raised her eyebrows.

"She puked." He made a circular motion over his chest. "All over me."

Christina nodded.

"Well, have fun." Mark bent down and placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead. "Be good for Yang, okay Princess? Daddy loves you."

Christina nearly choked as Mark started towards the hospital.

"Wait!" She said. "Why me?"

"You took care of Bailey's kid, right?"

"I…" She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Mark jerked his head as if to say "well there you go" and began jogging across the parking lot. "Besides," he called over his shoulder, "you were the first person I ran into."

-- -- -- --

"Hey Meredith," Christina said as her friend wandered into the locker room, "what do you get when you cross Satan and a plastics god?"

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know. What?"

"This." Christina smirked and stepped aside to reveal Sophie gurgling in her carrier.

"Aw," Meredith cooed and swiftly walked to the baby. "So this is why he never came back."

"Yep."

"What's her name?" Meredith asked as she tickled Sophie under her chin.

"Sarah? Sandy?" Christina pursed her lips. "Sophie. Yeah. Definitely Sophie."

"Well she's a cutie." Meredith straightened up. "And she's Addison's?"

"What's Addison's?"

Christina and Meredith both looked up as Alex and Izzie pushed into the locker room. Christina gestured to Sophie. "That is."

Izzie 'aw-ed' and immediately rushed to play with Sophie while Alex crossed his arms and watched the baby apprehensively from the doorway.

"Who's the father?" Alex asked.

"Well, from the way Sloan was sucking on her spit covered pacifier," Christina said with a grimace, "I'd say she's his. Why? It's not like she could be anyone else's."

Alex blushed.

"Oh-ho," Christina burst out laughing while Izzie glared at him and spat, "We'll talk about this later."

-- -- -- --

Two hours after he'd left Sophie in Christina's care, Mark was starting to get worried. If that baby wasn't bathed and ready to go in an hour, he was a dead man. Mark stuck his head in an empty on-call room and growled in frustration.

"Hey Mark! Wait up!"

Mark slowed and waited as Derek jogged to catch up to him.

"So?" Derek asked.

"It's all taken care of," Mark said, scanning the hallway anxiously. "Have you seen Yang?"

"No. Why?"

"She's hijacked my kid."

"Oh," Derek said slowly, somewhat confused. "Have you heard from Charlotte or Addison?"

Mark shook his head. "Last I heard they were still at the spa. Charlotte said something about wanting to be loose and bendy for your date tonight."

"Loose and bendy?" A sly grin spread over Derek's face. "Did she tell you what she's planning?"

Mark looked at him and said dead-panned, "Bungy-jumping."

Derek blinked. "That's a joke, right?"

"Look, I don't have time for this," Mark said stiffly and took off to continue his search.

"Mark!" Derek called after him. "That was a joke, right? Right?!"

-- -- -- --

Like most babies, Sophie liked to cry. Crying got her food, got her changed, and got her attention. It also, she knew somehow, annoyed the hell out of everyone around her. Which was especially fun when it came to Christina Yang.

"Please," Christina begged as she helplessly bounced Sophie on her knee. "Just please stop crying."

Sophie looked at her and let out another anguished scream.

"I'll give you money," Christina attempted. "I'll give you candy."

Sophie hesitated, seemingly to contemplate the offer, before her face screwed up and she kicked the wailing up a notch or two.

"Please God," Christina cried. "Help me."

"Someone ask for my help?"

Christina stood up and thrust the baby at Bailey.

"Give me that," Bailey said, grabbing Sophie. She glared at Christina before turning her attention to Sophie. "Hello pretty lady."

Sophie's eyes dried immediately.

"So this is the famous Sophie I've heard all about," Bailey murmured.

"How did you know?"

"Look at her Yang," Bailey said, rolling her eyes. "She's got Sloan's eyes."

"And Montgomery's hair," Christina added.

"Great DNA," Bailey murmured. She scrunched her nose at Sophie and then handed her back to Christina. "Well… You two have fun. I've got surgery."

Christina's jaw dropped. "Wha… You…"

"Oh," Bailey added as she opened the door, "and she may have been crying because she's got a dirty diaper."

-- -- -- --

"What is that?"

Christina looked up to find her roommate towering over her and grinned with unconcealed relief. Callie was Addison's best friend at Seattle Grace. Callie was responsible. Callie would take this damned kid off her hands so she could actually get some work done.

"Ooh, is that Addison's?" Erica appeared next to Callie and Christina's relief swelled. Erica had a child… She would know what to do with a possibly dirty diaper.

"Mmhm," Christina mumbled brightly and shot off the bench. "Would you like to watch her?"

Callie rolled her eyes but accepted the baby when Christina held her out anyway. She was just about to coo at Sophie when the baby giggled and began emitting the rankest odor Callie had ever experienced. "Oh God," Callie cried and tried to hand the baby back to Christina.

"Oh no," Christina yelped, holding her hands up by her face as she quickly backed away from the offending smell. At least now even she could tell the diaper needed changing. "Finders keepers."

"You better-"

"It's soaking through her pants," Erica pointed out dully as Christina and Callie danced around each other. "You really need to take care of-"

"There you are!" Mark cried and strode into the room. He stopped as the smell hit him like a brick wall. After regaining his composure he stepped forward and took Sophie from Callie. "Jesus. Were you just going to let her wallow in her own shit – er, poopy?"

All three women raised their eyebrows.

"Addison won't let me cuss in front of the baby," Mark explained. "She seems to think Sophie will understand and 'fuck' will be her first word or something."

"Her brain is like a sponge at this age," Erica told him matter-of-factly as he sniffed Sophie's diaper and grimaced.

"You," he hissed at Christina as he laid Sophie on the bench, "are so dead."

Christina looked to Callie for support but quickly realized there was none to be found. "I would have changed it. You know… Once I figured out how to start breathing again."

"Ha ha," Mark dead-panned and pulled Sophie's soaked pants off of her. He held the pants between his forefinger and thumb as far from him as possible while Erica grabbed a trash can.

"Ugh," she groaned. "You can't even breathe through your mouth 'cause you can taste the smell."

Callie and Mark looked at her as if she'd gone crazy.

"No," Christina said, nodding. "I totally get what you're saying. You can taste the nastiness."

"Oh man."

The women watched with horror as Mark peeled Sophie's diaper off her and tossed it in the trash. They winced when it hit with a splat.

"Here," Callie said, throwing Mark the package of wipes she'd pulled out of the diaper bag. "I think you'll go through the whole pack."

Mark groaned and as quickly as possible cleaned Sophie up with surgical precision while the three women watched on. Once finished, Mark snapped Sophie's spare outfit on and tucked her into the crook of his arm. She sighed and looked up at her father dreamily as she slowly nodded off.

"That," Callie said and dropped her head on Erica's shoulder, "is probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

"Sometimes men are so cute," Erica agreed and kissed the top of Callie's head. "It's almost enough to make me want to go straight."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Mark's eyebrows had hit his hairline. He pointed between the two of them. "You two…"

Callie and Erica nodded.

Mark smirked.

-- -- -- --

"Did you know Torres and Hahn are gay?" Mark asked later that evening as he and Addison wandered into Joe's. They'd dropped Sophie off at Richard's a few hours earlier before dinner and were currently meeting up with Derek and Charlotte for drinks.

"She's one of my best friends," Addison scoffed as she steered them towards the corner booth. "And I totally called it months ago."

"Why didn't you say something?" Mark asked.

"Because you have me now." Addison pinched his cheek and slid into the booth. "You don't need to follow around lesbians anymore."

Mark scowled and took off in the direction of the bar. He quickly ordered a dirty martini for Addison and a double for himself and then wandered back to the booth. He handed Addison her drink and chuckled as she lovingly held the glass to her chest and stroked it.

"Oh alcohol, my dear friend," she cooed, "how I have missed you."

"Take it slow," Mark warned her knowingly. Addison was a bit of a light-weight under normal circumstances but this would be her first drink in over a year.

"I think I can take care of myself Mark," Addison snapped and took a long gulp of her drink. She sighed happily as the liquid burned her throat and put down her glass. "So. How do you think Derek liked-"

But just then the door slammed open. Derek stalked over to them and, without any hesitation, plucked Mark's drink from his hand and finished it off. He slammed the glass down and slid into the booth.

Mark raised his eyebrows at the way Derek's usually perfectly coifed hair was standing straight up on his head. He coughed as his eyes took in how white Derek's face was.

"Where's Charlotte?" Addison asked and took another sip of her martini.

"She's parking the car," Derek grumbled and signaled the waitress.

Addison tried to hide her giggles. "And how was the date?"

Derek glared at her petulantly and huffed, "Mark was not joking."

-- -- -- --

Hours later Mark had finally pried the liquor from Addison and Derek long enough to swing by Richard's to grab Sophie. Somehow he managed to get both Sophie and Addison up to their hotel room without too much difficulty.

"I drank too much," Addison slurred as Mark laid her in bed. "You were right."

"I'm always right," Mark chuckled and pulled Addison's shoes off.

Addison scrunched her nose. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Mark grinned as Addison flopped on her stomach and trailed her fingers down Sophie's tummy. The baby giggled and squealed.

"You know," Addison said softly. "Even if we're royal fuck-ups we did something right."

"We did," Mark agreed and climbed into bed next to Addison. He pulled Sophie onto his lap and tickled her sides. "We really did."