Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for the awesome response you guys gave me. Thank you for all the follows and favorites. And most of all thank you for all the lovely reviews, they really motivated me and got my spirits up. I was grinning like a fool every time I read a review. :P
That being said, here is the next chapter. And I hope you like it. And reviews are welcomed because they make me grin like a fool. :P
last episode: all of us including Callie thought she slept with our cute blonde. :P but we were all wrong but Callie doesn't know that yet and she also kicked Az out. :P
…..
Dr. Callie Torres was having the worst day ever. Not like other days were any better but today had especially been weighing her down. The moment she entered the halls of the hospital, she knew something was up. She could see eyes on her from all directions, trying to penetrate a hole in her soul and find out what she was feeling. But that wasn't an unusual thing. As soon as the news of her and George getting a divorce got out she had been on a roller coaster. People blamed her for breaking his heart, because he was the sweet intern who could do no wrong. And she was the resident who used the intern and exploited her position. All she got after that were glares and stern looks, breaking down the walls of strength and courage she had created as a façade for the world. At times she was paged and there were no patients for her to see at all. She was the center of pranks. If she would ask for a favor people ignored her. It wasn't like everyone treated her that way. There were people who supported her but they were very few. Her best friend Mark Sloan had been her greatest supporter throughout the whole debacle. Then yesterday there had been new rumors about the story of how the marriage breaking was her fault. How she had slept with Mark and that infidelity was the actual cause of the breaking marriage.
This new rumor had evoked a whole new kind of negative response. If she thought people were being harsh before, after this new rumor they were ruthless and plain cruel. People who originally talked behind her back were now talking in front or her. Some group of interns had given her a nickname that wasn't respectable at all, quite the opposite in fact. The only time she got to breathe was when she was operating. When she had taken a seat in the café with Mark yesterday, it had given people ammunition to shoot at her already injured and bleeding soul. And after her shift was over, she had gone to the nearest bar that wasn't Joe's. She just wanted to get away from the judging people, who were accusing her of all the false things. The irony of the situation had not been lost on her. George was the one who had cheated by sleeping with his best friend, yet she was the one being accused of that crime. So, to forget the mess that she was in, to wipe the memories of smiles on George and Izzie's faces and to forget about her mistakes and troubles; she had drunk herself into oblivion.
'And look where that got me; into a whole new mess with that blonde.' She thought as she made her way further into the hospital.
But she just couldn't ignore the stares. They were very different today. They weren't angry and lacked the usual hate and accusation. Rather today they held pity. But, she just ignored everything and kept walking with her head bowed down, not daring to look at anyone.
'What the hell is happening?' she questioned herself.
She ignored the elevators like she had been doing since the problem with George started and moved towards the stairs. All the while she was silently praying for the stairwell to be empty. When she finally reached her ward, she released a deep breath. She was now safe from the gossiping people. And soon she would be in her heaven, the OR. But she couldn't have been more wrong. Because as soon as she picked a chart up from the nurses station, her ears picked up the conversation in which three nurses were eagerly involved.
"Poor Dr. Torres." She heard one of the nurses say in the most pitiful tone ever.
"Yeah she has been through so much." the other nurse piped in with a sympathetic note to her tone.
"And the people have been so cruel to her when it wasn't even her fault and she didn't even say anything." the final member involved in the discussion added.
"And look at the nerve of O'Malley, first he cheated and then he let the whole hospital blame her." one of the nurses added making Callie almost drop the chart that was in her hand.
'How did they know?' she wondered.
She didn't know how to react. Her hands were clammy and holding the chart seemed like a strenuous task. Her heart was beating at an abnormal pace. She felt like she couldn't breathe anymore. She had to get out of this place. And instinctively, she started making her way towards the resident's lounge with staggering feet.
As soon as the door closed behind her, she slid down the nearest wall, and landed on the floor with an ungraceful thud. She was panicking inside and had no idea why. Her breathing was ragged and her body shaking. Her hands were tightly clenched at her sides. The blurring of her vision made her aware of the tears that were now staining her face. Why was she having such a reaction? People knowing the truth was a good thing. People not calling her the villain was supposed to be good. She had always thought that when the truth came out she would feel a sense of relief flood her existence. But the reality was quite the opposite. She was hiding in a room, a crying mess rather than the happy trooper she imagined she would be.
But soon reality dawned on her like lighting in the sky, intense and so very scary, making you flinch no matter how much you tried to resist it. Before, she was seen as the rebellious strong woman who walked over a man's heart, who thought she was too good. A woman who was ruthless. She was the bad guy but she was considered strong. But now, now she was the woman who got walked over, who was treated like a door mat. Now, she was the woman who wasn't good enough to keep her husband faithful. She was the woman who got rejected, who got left behind. She was the woman whose significant other didn't care enough about their relationship to not hurt them. She was a tissue paper which was used to wipe tears and then thrown away when the tears subsided and the smile took over.
And now everyone one was looking at her with pitiful eyes. Now she was the pathetic woman who everyone felt sympathetic for. She felt her pride taking a fall, her backbone bending a little. She sensed herself getting shorter. She was the woman everyone was feeling sorry for and that bothered her immensely.
All this made her fall even deeper into the trenches of misery. And the thought of maybe actually not being worth much invaded her brain. But before she could dwell too much on it, her pager beeped making her jump. She checked the pager, and roughly brushed her sleeves on her face, getting rid of the tears and got up; running out of the room towards the ER.
Truth was that the 911 page was her saving grace. Because, if she would have sat there pondering about her life events with her current mindset she would have entered the land of depression. And it is a well-known fact that walking through that wretched land unharmed is not an easy feat to accomplish. People who do finally come out are always changed forever.
…
"Arizona!" Teddy's voice rang throughout the apartment. "I am leaving for the hospital, my shift is about to start."
Arizona entered the living room walking as lazily as she could because she knew that would irritate Teddy. And she just can't let a chance to do that just go by her.
"I'm coming Teddy. No need to go crazy." Arizona replied.
"Can you move any slower?" Teddy asked irritated. She was getting late and she didn't have time for this. Arizona was getting on her nerves.
"I'm here. I'm here. Impatient much." Arizona kept her teasing up, with mischief sparkling in her eyes. And Teddy caught on to it atlast.
"Well yeah after being kicked out from a woman's house, you are bound to be all slow and lazy. I understand." Teddy jabbed back, ready to take revenge.
"wha…" Arizona's mouth just hung open. She wasn't expecting that. This made Teddy laugh out loud.
"You don't play fair Altman." Arizona replied with a huge pout on her face.
"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry." Teddy replied as she moved to hug her friend and trying to tickle her.
"So, my shift ends at 8. Why don't you come over to the hospital and then we can both go out, eat and have some drinks." Teddy suggested, wanting to spend some time with her friend.
"Well keeping in mind the fact that none of us cook, I think that is a wonderful idea." Arizona laughed, agreeing with the plan.
"Okay then, bye roomie." And with that Teddy left the apartment, leaving a smiling Arizona behind.
The idea of starting fresh in a new place was turning out to be pretty good if she just excluded the kicking out part. And having her childhood friend near was so much better than she expected. She had a feeling that her life here was going to be pretty good.
…..
The whole day had been a torture for Callie. She had been stuck in the OR with O'Malley and Izzie. And that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that this week Izzie Stevens was on her service. She couldn't get away from her even if she wanted or tried. She had to listen to her happy, perky and shrill voice most of the day. And now she just wanted to go and hide. Thankfully her shift was now over and she could go home and feel miserable in the solace of her home. She didn't know if she could take the pity in people's eyes anymore. Before she could think about her next move she heard the loud voice of none other than Mark Sloan.
"Torres. I was looking all over for you." He spoke loudly with his typical smirk but he had worried eyes.
"I was in a surgery." She simply replied. "With O'Malley and Stevens." She added as an afterthought when she started walking towards the resident's lounge.
"Oh!" this was the only response he could manage.
"Yeah." She replied.
"Well you won't have to see them for the rest of the day so be happy." Mark tried to make her look at the positive side of things before he got into the heavy stuff.
"Stevens is on my service for the rest of the week." Mark again received a flat toned reply as Callie entered the lounge.
"That is nothing to worry about." Callie immediately glared at him at this response and he raised his hands up in the air defensively. "I mean you can exchange her with my intern. I will take her off your hands." Mark cleared up in a hurry.
"You will do that?" she asked with a thankful look.
Mark noticed how exhausted his best friend looked. And he didn't know how to change that.
"Obviously. You don't have to worry about anything. So how are you really feeling? Last night you just disappeared after your shift." He had empathy and care in his voice trying to convey his emotions.
"Oh! Yesterday." Callie was almost taken aback by the question. Not because it was an absurd or an unusual question but because she didn't know how to respond to it. Her cheeks immediately changed color and she couldn't meet Mark's eyes.
Mark noticed the lack of eye contact and the way Callie was playing with her hands. And he knew something was up.
"What did you do Torres?" he questioned. "Tell me it isn't very bad, whatever it is that you did. Maybe we can fix it." he was now full on panicking.
"Shut up." Callie stopped him from worrying more. Then she looked around to make sure nobody was around. She didn't want the whole world to know.
"I went to a bar, got drunk, and then woke up naked with a woman in my bed." she said as fast as she could in the quietest voice she could manage.
"You had a naked woman in your bed!" Mark shouted in shock. His mouth was hung open and for the first time in his life Mark Sloan felt speechless.
Callie almost hissed at his loudness.
"Can you say that any louder, I don't think people in the ER heard that." she gave Mark an angry glare and then turned around. "And she wasn't naked, I was."
Slowly and gradually the shock wore off of Mark and then the largest smirk Callie had ever seen took over his face. And at that instant Callie regretted telling him about the night.
"So she did all the work. How was it? Was she good? What exactly did you guys do? Tell me everything." Mark was almost bouncing in excitement and Callie just face palmed herself. She didn't know what she could tell him when she barely remembered anything.
"Oh did you do it in the morning too?" the childish grin was not ready to leave his face. He was like child on Christmas morning. His eyes had a dazed look that was so unlike a child would have.
"Mark focus." Callie snapped her fingers in front of him. "And I don't know."
"What do you mean 'you don't know'? You don't know if it was good or not?" Mark now looked seriously confused.
Callie was totally embarrassed now. The whole situation was so weird.
"I was drunk and I don't remember anything that happened. I just know I saw her in my bed when I woke up. And then I kicked her out." Callie finally told the whole truth. And saying it out loud finally made it really register in her head.
"What! You kicked her out. Why? What did she do? Tell me you asked her what happened or you at least asked her name." he asked shocked. "And that is no way to treat a lady Torres." He added with a wink.
"Why would I ask her name? And obviously I kicked her out. She took advantage of me being drunk. I wouldn't have slept with her otherwise. I am not gay Mark." She replied, defending her actions with full force.
Mark just sighed. After all the excitement he was felling, things came crashing back down and now he was disappointed. He was almost picturing the details before Callie ruined it all.
"Well if she would have taken advantage of you, then don't you think she would have left before you woke up?" Mark questioned.
"I … I didn't… OH MY GOD!" Callie shrieked. "I was such a bitch to her. I just thought… I thought it was her, because… because I am not gay." She stuttered. Now she was feeling guilty.
'Great one more thing to make me feel bad.' She thought.
Before their discussion could go any further a loud beep of the pager was heard.
'Don't let it be mine. After the day I have had, you owe me at least that.' Callie prayed in her head. 'Please' she added at the end just to be sure the guy above accepted her request.
"It's mine." Mark said before she could even check her pager. But he looked torn. He didn't want to leave without telling Callie the big news circulating around the hospital.
"What?" Callie asked noticing his struggle. But Mark's pager beeped again.
"Damn it. Cal, we need to talk. I need to tell you something. I will come over to your place after my shift."
The seriousness in his voice made Callie stop and stare at the door that was now closing behind Mark. Whatever it was he wanted to talk about was very important. And she was sure it was about her. She thought about what new thing it could be but came up empty. But in the corner of her head a voice said that it was better this way. Whatever Mark had to tell her, she was sure she wasn't prepared to hear it.
….
Callie had her head down as she made a beeline towards the exit doors. She couldn't wait to get out. Her steps were hurried and fast. And when she finally stepped on the paved surface, she released a long sigh. She had gone through another day without falling. She was struggling badly but at least she wasn't giving up. One day at a time had been her mantra.
'Another day gone. Many more to go.' She thought as she took another step forward but stopped in her tracks when she heard someone call her name.
Apparently the day wasn't as over as she thought. She was trying to get away from him and thought she had accomplished that. But the universe is a funny place. As soon as she felt she was safe, the universe just played one of its tricks and proved her wrong. She could hear him running trying to get to where she was rooted to the ground. She took a deep breath, schooling her features and calming herself down.
'I can take whatever he has to say. I am strong. I have been showing that every single day.' She gave herself a mental pep talk and slowly turned around and came face to face with her soon to be ex-husband.
"George." She acknowledged his presence, showing no sign of the heart break she was going through.
"Hey Callie. Do you have a minute to talk?" he had timid expression on his face. He looked almost scared.
"Oh now you want to talk." Callie scoffed.
Apparently nothing had changed. When Callie was being blamed for everything he didn't correct anyone. And when Callie had tried to find him to smash down the false rumors once and for all, he had avoided her like a plaque. He let her suffer even though he knew he was the culprit. And now the very day, the news of him being the cheater and the one to break the marriage was out, he was here standing in front of Callie wanting to talk.
"Callie I am trying to have a conversation here with you, please." He responded with irritation.
"What about me? What about when I was trying to talk to you. You ignored me and avoided me. And now you want me to listen." She questioned angrily, trying to cover her breaking voice. And to her surprise her words sounded much stronger than she actually felt.
"I know. I know I was avoiding you." He ran a hand through his hair out of frustration. "It was because I knew that you wanted to talk about the rumors. But I couldn't help you. Izzie wasn't ready for everyone to know. And I didn't want her to feel pressured so I avoided you." He replied truthfully.
Callie was breaking inside. Here standing in front of her was the man who once claimed to be head over heels in love with her and married her. The man who promised to cherish her and take care of her for the rest of his life. But now he was standing here, looking her in the eye as he told her that he let her be pushed around and disrespected for the things that he had done, because he didn't want to cause any sort of problem for another woman; his mistress. It was like she didn't even exist, like her feelings didn't matter. And he had said it all like there was nothing wrong with what he did. Maybe for him there wasn't.
She looked away from him, trying to stay composed and not let the tears pricking the back of her eyes fall down her face.
'He wouldn't care even if he saw them.' a voice in her head mocked.
George took her silence as his cue to continue talking. Not noticing what havoc his words were bringing upon her.
"But see that's why I am here. Things are different now. We are getting divorced officially after two days. But I couldn't wait. So I proposed to Izzie. She said yes. And everyone knows." He said with a big smile on his face. "You don't need to worry, everyone knows now. They know it wasn't you. So no more anger."
Callie sucked in a deep breath at his words. Her head started spinning. And everything came crashing down right in front of her. Just when she thought she could catch a break, things had taken a turn for the worse. She could hear the smile in his voice. She knew she was about to breakdown but she didn't want him to see her in her most vulnerable state. So she just simply turned around and started walking and tears broke the dam containing them and started caressing the broken features of the woman. She could hear him shouting her name, but she just kept on walking.
…..
She had barely crossed the hospital property line when an overwhelming pain took over her. It felt like the air was knocked out from her. The tears seemed to be coming out at an alarming speed. She felt the world spin around her and standing up straight became an issue. She moved her hands out, frazzled, trying to find support. Her hand connected with a boundary wall and her whole body immediate fell on the wall on its own accord, failing to bear all her weight.
She had fallen in love with the 'heart in the elevator guy' the minute she heard about him. She was impressed. And when she had finally met him, he had acted so bravely. She knew she had developed a serious crush on him. She tried getting his attention but he was totally oblivious to her attempts. And that had made her crush on him even harder. She was extremely attracted to the innocence of the intern. And so, being the confident and strong woman she once was, she had gone straight up to him and asked him out.
One date gave way to many more, and soon they were the talk of the hospital. She had enjoyed his company so much. He was just so innocent, caring and loving. His smile was enough to make Callie melt. And soon she realized she had fallen deeply in love with this guy. She had even met his family and they had loved her. She had thoroughly enjoyed the love and care they gave her. She was the happiest woman in the world. She had told him she loved him but he didn't say the words back. And she was so sure of their love that she knew he would eventually say it back.
And then George's father died. And she had been there for him in every way possible. And then out of the blue one day he had proposed her. And so, they had gotten married in Vegas. People were really shocked at how sudden it all was but she was happy. She was married to the man of her dreams. The guy who loved her.
But she was too blind to see that she was just being used as a bandage for his wounds. That he didn't really love her as he claimed finally when they got married. She was just being used. But when his wounds healed. When he finally recovered from the loss of his father, he started ignoring her. She thought she might have done something wrong and tried even harder to please him. But somewhere in her head she knew the reason of his coldness. But she wasn't ready to accept it. But the day she walked in on Izzie and George during the act, she couldn't ignore the daunting truth anymore.
Later George had openly admitted to never loving Callie and having a crush on Izzie from the beginning. And the world that Callie knew had come crashing down. All of the duration of her relationship was brought into question. Her reality that she was living in from the beginning was just an illusion. None of his feelings had been true. But for Callie every second and every minute she had spent with him, was true. Her feeling were always genuine. They were real and they were deep. And that is why when George dismissed their whole relationship so easily she had lost everything.
But deep down somewhere, she had hope that he had felt something. That their relationship was not completely a lie. But now hearing George about proposing Izzie had crushed that hope.
She had loved him so dearly. She had fallen for him so deeply. Everything he did, made her love him even more. But he was just pretending. He never felt anything.
Maybe he was right in never loving her. Maybe she wasn't worth loving. If he couldn't love her after knowing her for such a long time then it proved that she wasn't loveable. She had been by his side in his worst phase of life, but he had just thrown her away. She had stayed by him because she thought he was precious. But apparently he didn't think any such thing about Callie. Maybe she truly wasn't as great as her father made her to be.
As these thoughts invaded her mind she started sobbing loudly as she slid down the wall and ended up sitting on the pavement. Her hand was clutching her chest because it hurt too much and she didn't know how to stop it.
What made him cheat on me, she wondered. Was she not beautiful enough? Maybe she wasn't attentive to his needs. Maybe she didn't make him smile. Maybe she was not caring enough. Maybe she wasn't easy to talk to. Maybe all of those reason were true.
And so her line of thought started moving in the direction of self-blaming and she completely broke down; not caring about other people around.
…..
Arizona was at the hospital waiting to meet up with Teddy. Her phone dinged and alerted her to an incoming message. It was from Teddy informing her about an incoming trauma and telling her that she might be a bit late. Having nothing else to do she decided to walk around the hospital and see what the closest attractions around were. Teddy had mentioned about a bar. She called it Joe's. Maybe she could wait for Teddy there. She just needed to find it first.
She had barely walked a few feet when she heard the distinct sounds of someone sobbing very loudly. She was immediate alarmed, thinking that someone might be hurt or injured and started running towards the direction the sounds were coming from.
As soon as she reached closer to the source of the sobs, she saw a woman sitting on the pavement with her head in her hands, crying uncontrollably. She slowed down and started taking careful steps towards the stranger on the ground. A part of her was scared to disturb the stranger. Before she could shy away from the stranger, the lights of a passing car illuminated her figure. And Arizona immediately recognized the woman.
She was looking at none other than Calliope Torres. The woman who had kicked her out this morning. But the sobs emanating from that beautiful woman broke her heart. She took a deep breath and slowly made her way towards the woman and sat down next to her.
"We really need to stop meeting like this." Arizona said, trying to get the other woman's attention.
Callie was startled by the voice that was so close to her. She lifted her head up to see the face of the blonde woman from the morning. She carelessly and sloppily rubbed her hands on her eyes trying to get her vision to clear up. But the woman was still there. She didn't want pity from the woman she had treated badly and she wasn't in the mood for company.
"I think I made it clear in the morning that I don't want you around me. So, please leave." She tried to keep her voice strong but it came out broken and weak.
Arizona was taken aback for a moment but then she realized this was exactly what she would do if the roles were reversed. No one wants to be seen by a stranger in their most vulnerable state. She would have probably lashed out too, so that people would leave her alone and she can wallow in her own misery.
"Calliope, please just…" Arizona started but the other woman almost flinched at her voice.
"Just leave me alone." Callie shouted and buried her face in her hands as another wave of sobs took over her body. "Everyone does."
She didn't want this woman to see her like this. So broken and battered. Finally she heard shuffling of feet in between her sobs and thought the other woman had left. And that was all the encouragement she needed and she started crying again loudly now that she knew no one was around. She could feel herself melting, falling apart.
But then she was suddenly engulfed in a tight hug. He body tensed up instantaneously. But the very next second her body fell into the arms of the other person, her hands coming up to tightly clench the material of their shirt as she buried herself deeper. And then she let go of all her inhibitions and allowed all her pent up emotions to come out.
She didn't know how long she sat there crying in the arms of the woman, whose name even she was unaware of. But it felt good, it felt great to let it all out. But at the same time the comfort and the support the other woman was providing kept her grounded. It was like the blonde's arms were holding her together and preventing her from breaking and falling apart completely. Eventually when her crying got lighter, she heard the other woman's soothing voice.
"None of this is your fault Calliope." Callie was shocked. How did this woman know what she was thinking?
'You are sitting in the middle of nowhere, crying your eyes out, so obviously she knows something is wrong.' She thought.
She buried herself further in the woman's body resting her head in the crook of her neck. She didn't want the woman to see her face while she talked because she was embarrassed. That was the statement she used to justify still being in her arms. But the truth was that she wanted the comfort the other woman was providing, so graciously, to last longer but she wasn't ready to accept that truth.
"He cheated, not you." Arizona said.
Callie's whole body tensed up as she realized the other woman knew what the source of her distress was. She immediately pulled out of the hug and stared at the woman in utter shock. Arizona just locked her eyes with Callie as she spoke further.
"HE lied to you, HE deceived you, HE used you and HE cheated on you. And that is on HIM, not on you. That shows that he was not the right person here. That shows he was the one with the faulty personality and cruel mind. That shows that he wasn't strong enough to be truthful to you, he wasn't courageous enough to face his problems alone. And he wasn't bold enough to face the world. He is the one who has failed as a husband and a human being. He was not gutsy enough to share what was in his heart and so he hid behind a lying façade. While you were the strong woman who had the courage to fall in love and be sincere and truthful about it. You were the woman who wasn't afraid to fly. You were the woman who made him strong and helped him stand again. If this all proves anything then it's that you are the strongest person ever. YOU ARE STRONG and he is the weak one. So, be sad about the loss of your love, but don't even for a second think that any of this was your fault. Because it was his cowardice that caused all this. His unfaithful personality. That says something about him. It has nothing to do with you. So don't feel ashamed. Be who you are and have always been. A badass strong woman as you said yourself last night." Arizona added the last part with a wink and then proceeding to wipe the tears off form Callie's face with the utmost care.
Callie for her part was shocked but was processing each and every word that was being said to her. She was, for the first time, realizing that it was not her. It was George's. She was actually starting to accept it. And that surprised her. And what astonished her the most was the amount of information the other woman had. And it looked like she was the one who had given all these details to the other woman last night.
"You are talented, smart, beautiful and just plain amazing through and through. So be proud of your strength and walk tall." Arizona said with conviction in her voice. "Because there would be millions of people who would consider themselves lucky if you even smiled at them." Arizona added with a smile and stood up. And then as though it occurred to her later, as an afterthought. She bent down and placed the softest of kisses on Callie's cheek and walked away. While Callie just stared at the retreating woman, too shocked to do or say anything.
"Thank you" Callie said silently after a few minutes. She didn't know if the other woman realized it or not, but she had just saved Callie from her own thoughts. She needed to hear every word that the woman had said. She was finally feeling free and she felt like some of the weight had been lifted from her trembling shoulders. She just smiled as she kept looking in the direction the woman had went.
'I don't even know her name.' was the only thought in her head now.
….