Looking back, Hawke falling in love with Fenris was inevitable, really. Fenris had been there when Hawke had been at his absolute lowest, and had helped him make it through to the other side. He was, of course, talking about the Deep Roads.

There were so many things about that expedition he would have done differently, but the biggest mistake was who he chose to bring with him. And he wasn't talking about Bartrand. No, in the big picture Bartrand's betrayal failed in comparison to all Hawke lost down there.

Bethany…

Maker, Hawke would do almost anything to bring her back. To undo what he'd done. It had been years, but he swore her words still hung fresh in his mind as if it were yesterday… As if she had carved those words into his heart.

"It's the blight isn't it? I'll end up just like Wesley won't I?"

"I'm not going to last till the surface. It's coming on faster."

Maker, had he cried. He didn't even care that Varric and Fenris were there. He held her and he sobbed. Not his Bethany… His kind hearted, gentle little sister… His best friend. It was more than he could bare.

"You'll take care of it, won't you brother?"

He remembers sobbing, begging… but the exact words had faded with time. He couldn't do it! He wouldn't…

"It's just you now. Take care of mother."

Those words had been heart breaking. He remembers holding her and crying pitifully into her shoulder as he pulled out his dagger with trembling hands. He wouldn't let the blight take her. She deserved better than that. He'd rather take her life himself than watch the taint slowly suck the life from her body. So… he agreed. She said she loved him. He sputtered it repeatedly back like a mantra, as if those words made what he was about to do ok. But they didn't. She was scared. Scared to die. And he was the one bringing death down upon her. The last words he said to her… had been words of comfort.

"Don't be scared Beth…" he had struggled through tears, "Big brother's going to make the pain go away…"

And then it was over. She was gone.

He couldn't leave her body there as darkspawn fodder. Bethany deserved so much more than that. Neither of Hawke's friends had known how to comfort him as he sat there in camp, sobbing uncontrollably. But when asked if they would cremate the body, they both jumped at the opportunity; at least they could do that much to help. As much as he needed to bring the ashes home, he could not stand to watch her body burn. So he stayed at camp and sulked, allowing his companions to do the rest. Fenris would burn the body; Varric was sorting through trinkets he had pilfered, having promised to find a burial urn worthy of her. Hawke was grateful that he didn't need to be involved.

No one was really thinking clearly in this situation. No one had thought that it wasn't safe to leave Hawke alone when he was in too distressed a state to defend himself properly. That was the second mistake Hawke made.

Looking back, Will realized they had been drawn to the sound of his crying. Darkspawn weren't exactly intelligent, what they knew what weakness sounded like. And they knew how to exploit it.

They were on him in seconds. Hawke screamed in surprise, fumbling for his daggers, only to realize that to his horror, he was unarmed. He was a dead man.

Will was forced to resort to physically wresting with the darkspawn, trying vainly to knock them away with his fists. It wasn't enough. He was on the ground within moments, the horrid creature's dagger ready to plunge through his eye and into his brain. As the dull blade pierced the sensitive organ, Hawke cried out in agony, and waited for death to come. He remained conscious just long enough to see the genlock's head cleaved clean from his shoulders by a massive sword.

Hawke was damn lucky to be alive, this much he knew. And this was the first thing to cross his mind when he woke in his bed roll hours later. The second thing to cross his mind, was heat and agony. His hand shot up to touch his injured eye, only to make contact with soft bandages, slightly damp with blood. His blood. Maker what had happened to his eye?!

"You're a lucky man, Hawke." Came Varric's voice from not far away, "Had that dagger gone another inch, you'd be dead."

Will struggled to sit up, feeling his head begin to spin as he did. But he had to see… had to know.

"Bethany?" He croaked, suddenly realizing how dry his throat was. Maker, he was thirsty. Did he have a fever?

The dwarf chuckled. "Always the selfless one. Fenris is taking care of it. He should be back with… the urn any moment now."

Relaxing slightly, Hawke lay back down. "What's the damage?" He asked tentatively. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"You will live." Came a gruff baritone voice from the other side of camp.

"Fenris?" Hawke tried to get up, to reach his friend. He had so much to thank him for.

"Do not strain yourself." The elf ordered, sitting down next to Hawke's bed roll. "You are badly injured, it will be a while yet before we can move on."

"How?" William chocked, "I… I thought I was a goner."

"I got there just in time." Fenris replied, "I only wish I had gotten there sooner."

Hawke turned over to meet the other man's eyes. "Fenris… you saved my life."

The elf smiled ever so slightly at this. "I did no more than you would have done for me."

Despite the pain, Hawke managed to smile back.

Maker had Hawke been lucky Fenris was with them. Another moment and he would have been darkspawn food. But not only had Fenris saved him… he had treated him as well.

Fenris was no healer of course, but he had been on his own long enough to know how to patch wounds up enough to make it to a healer. He cleaned the wound as best he could, and used an elf root poultice to ward off infection, and with any luck, protect him from the taint. He bandaged him up, and now that Hawke was conscious, he gave him a very small dose of sleep poison to dull he pain. (Hawke could almost hear Anders lecturing the elf about using poison to "treat" an injured man.) Even as the pain began to fade and weariness washed over him, he forced himself to stay awake.

"How bad is it?" Will rasped, as Fenris turned away to fetch some water for him.

"I won't sugar coat it," Varric answered from just out of Hawke's line of sight, "It's bad. You'll make it to the surface, and your eye is still there…"

"But..?" Hawke prompted as Fenris brought a canteen to his lips.

"I'm no healer…" Varric continued, clearly uncomfortable, "So maybe I'm wrong but… I don't even think Blondie could save your eye…"

Will sputtered around a mouth full of water, and Fenris jumped back in surprise.

Silence stretched between the three men for a long moment.

"Anders is going to have to remove it… isn't he..?" Hawke's voice was small and broken.

"That is our fear." Fenris replied, unable to meet his friend's gaze. "But either way… You will never regain your sight."

They quickly turned away from the topic, discussing the other details of Hawke's condition. The trauma of the stabbing had sent Will's body into shock, and he had stopped breathing briefly while Fenris was trying to stop the bleeding. Somehow he has survived… but they knew he would never be the same. It would be days before he would recover from the trauma, and the severity of his wounds brought fever to his body. They were on a time crunch. If they moved him too quickly, they run the risk of Hawke going into shock again. But the Deep Roads were not a place for an injured man. The longer they stayed, the higher the chances he end up like his sister.

After three days under Fenris' care, Hawke insisted they move on. His companions reluctantly agreed.

The journey home was slow going, as Hawke couldn't travel long before his injuries left him reeling with pain and dizziness. But eventually they did made it to the surface, Hawke leaning on Fenris like a crutch most of the way.

It was inevitable, really. Fenris had been his knight in shining armor when Hawke needed him most. Falling in love with the elf was certainly predictable.

Hawke didn't realize until that fateful night in his bedroom, however, that being there when he needed him didn't necessarily make Fenris the right choice. But it would be a while yet before Hawke would truly come to terms with that fact.