disclaimer: i don't own anything
notes: better to love and lost then to not love at all amirite
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They lasted longer than expected.
He still has her blue sweatshirt.
Under a pile of socks covered in holes near the dresser there it was, the collar was stretched and the navy blue was dull. It was the sort of garment his grandpa would wear on his days off, over sized and unattractive.
Before the sweatshirt he found her empty stick of strawberry lip balm and threw it away. His apartment is very clean without her. No more bobby pins covering his bathroom sink, no more random cups of half-finished herbal tea sitting on his coffee table. Gary can finally follow the simplistic way of life he imagined his twenties would be. She made things hectic for the both of them.
Everyone said the heat would die down the more the see each other. The way they looked at each other across the room would become nothing but a shared exasperated glance. Both of them did not listen to what everyone had to say, they moved in together for the sake of each other and no one else. They both were prideful and were very much aware of what was at stake. Either way no one had a say because no one understood the way as lovers they discovered each other's bodies at midnight, the way she offered him a bite of her dessert before taking a bite of her own. Now he understands what everyone met by being too foolish and young in love. His insides twists at the thought of them being right.
As empty his apartment is without the cups of tea and hair accessories, it lacks the familiar scent of lavender. She use to spray their pillows in lavender mist because Gary had tough times sleeping and often complained about it. Eventually the grumpiness and mumbles annoyed her to the point of her seeking out research. She had read in a magazine lavender oil helps soothe the body and soul. He remembers her sticking the glossy article in his face with a cheesy smile as if she discovered Atlantis. At the time he thought it was nothing but a hippie-dippy gimmick yet there was no doubt the flowery aroma on her neck eased him. Or that it was her legs wrapping around his every night. The dark circles under his eyes lessened and every opportunity she would put it in his face by saying, "I told you that lavender has many benefits."
Now his place smells of cleaning solution and black coffee at all times. It is harder to fall asleep.
He picked the sweatshirt up quickly, eyeing the worn out cotton blend.
This sweatshirt was worn by a body. And her tiny body held strength and fire, but it also forgot to close the fridge.
He never remembers what she wore for their dates but he knows the touch of her pajamas, her strange collection of pajamas, like the ones made of silk and the pretty two-piece she wore after a good day at work. She even had a pair of pants covered in pastel bicycles. Gary admits that her nude silk set had to be his favorite, it felt the nicest against his chest.
But when she wasn't draped in silk or lace, she wore this. Smooth skin, a thin waist, a slither of skin visible every time she reached for the box of Fruit Loops at breakfast time. He'd get a quick view, leaning against the kitchen countertop, silently sip his coffee in bliss. Those mornings were taken for granted as he stands in his bedroom alone. As he pinches the fabric between his fingers, he realizes it felt softer when worn by her. Gary smiles sadly. Throwing the sweatshirt to what was once her side of their bed.
He knew it wouldn't last but hoped the memories would be eventually fade. Along with the lavender, along with the coldness of an empty bed. Above all the constant memories he needed sense of regret to fade just like the blue of her sweatshirt, growing grayer and grayer with time.
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notes: very sappy and somewhat sad but that is reality for you. i hope you enjoyed it! xoxo