Disclaimer: Primeval does not belong to me. This is fan fiction, not for profit.
Any references to people, places, businesses, etc. are entirely fictitious.
Not Normal
…harsh…
-x-x-x-x-x-x
The Thursday after Abby's memorial service, Becker stopped by the Temple home with some boxes.
"Jess and I packed up Abby's personal items," explained Becker, "from her locker and office."
"Um yeah," said Connor. His jaw muscles clenched tightly as the scientist stared at the boxes in Becker's arms. Then Connor straightened his shoulders up. "I'll just go put her things upstairs."
He took the topmost box from Becker. Then Connor held his hand out for the other box, but Becker shook his head.
"Let me help," said Becker, "it's heavy."
-x-x-x-x-x-x
Connor returned to work at the ARC the following Monday. Jess was at the anomaly detection device running a systems check when the dark haired man entered the hub.
"Connor," greeted Jess in surprise. "I wasn't expecting you back so soon."
Lester came out of his office and stood behind Jess. The bureaucrat placed his hand on the back of the Jess's chair.
"What are you doing here?" asked Lester.
Connor gestured towards the corridor leading to his lab.
"I work here," answered the scientist, before he turned and strode away.
Lester followed Connor down the corridor and into the lab.
"I told you to take some time off," reminded the ARC's director as the door shut behind him with a swoosh. "There was no rush."
Connor turned abruptly to face his boss. His dark eyes were shadowed and for a moment he didn't say anything. His chest heaved with a deep breath.
"It seemed like a bit of rush," said Connor icily. "You had Abby's stuff cleared out."
Lester blinked at the anger evident in Connor's voice.
"I'm not trying to replace Abby, but there is work to be done," said Lester softly. "The menagerie needs to be maintained. Abby wouldn't like it if the creatures weren't cared for properly."
Connor stood still for a moment, then sagged back against the desk behind him. He sighed.
"Yeah," said Connor. "You're right, Abby wouldn't want the creatures to suffer."
And thought Lester, Abby wouldn't want Connor to suffer.
"Connor, if you want to take some more time," began Lester.
"No," interrupted Connor. The dark haired scientist shook his head. The dark brown eyes that gazed at Lester blinked a couple of times before Connor continued.
"The grief counselor told me I needed to keep as many things as possible the same for Sarah and Tommy," explained Connor. "Routines are important for children, so I took them to child care this morning and came to work."
"I thought Abby's brother was supposed to be helping out," replied Lester.
"He is, at nights," answered Connor, "but in the day, Sarah's been going to the preschool program, so I want to keep her in it. And the staff is being very supportive. They extended Tommy's hours in the infant care program. I can work."
Lester wondered if the routine was also to benefit Connor. Lester nodded.
"No field work though," insisted Lester. "Your children have already lost one parent, and we don't want you endangering yourself."
Connor's eyes flashed again. Lester watched as Connor visibly struggled to get himself under control.
"This work isn't what killed Abby," answered Connor finally in a quiet tone.
"No," agreed Lester, "and we want to make sure this work doesn't kill you."
-x-x-x-x-x-x
There were no anomalies that day or the next. Connor and Lester continued to argue about the scientist's role at the ARC. On Wednesday, Jess went into labor. The baby was a little early, but it was a good thing according to the physician.
"No telling how big he would have been if you'd gone full term," chuckled the doctor as he handed the healthy nine pound boy to Jess.
Jess and Becker had a small disagreement about naming the boy.
"Well if you really don't' think we can use the name for the middle name," said Jess, "then we'll just have to use it for his first name."
"I thought we agreed to the name George, after your father," groaned Becker, "the baby doesn't need a middle name."
"Yes he does," insisted Jess.
Becker wasn't happy with the child's middle name, but he thought it was better as a middle name than a first name.
"George Hilary Becker sounds better," agreed Becker finally.
And Lester got his wish, Connor was off field work for the foreseeable future.
"Connor, no one else knows the equipment better," explained Lester. "I really need you to help with the ADD while Jess is out on maternity leave."
-x-x-x-x-x-x
A routine of sorts began. Connor took the children in to childcare on his way to work. Jack tidied up, which meant playing video games mostly and then went job hunting. The children's uncle picked them up in the afternoon and brought them home. In their own way, Connor and Abby's family and friends all did their best to help the family through this difficult time.
For the first several months after the accident, Connor's parents arrived nearly every other weekend. Or if they didn't come, Connor's brother would show up with his wife and son. Connor's mother always said the same thing at the end of his parent's visits.
"You and the children should come home."
-x-x-x-x-x-x
The holiday season was hard. At first, Connor refused to go to the ARC's holiday party, but Lester wouldn't hear of it.
"You have to get out sometimes," ordered Lester. "And it will be better with friends."
Connor wound up sitting between Jenny and Sarah at dinner at a small round table. They had some catching up to do. It had been a while since Connor and Jenny had seen Sarah. The archeologist had left the ARC when Abby, Connor and Danny had gone missing years before. Danny's brief return and absence again still weighed heavily on the beautiful woman.
"How are things at the museum?" asked Jenny.
"Oh you know, same old, same old," replied Sarah in a teasing tone, "poking and prodding at old mysteries."
Jenny still worked at the ARC. After convergence, her job had evolved more into informing the public about anomaly alerts than covering them up. The public relations representative had started the "Know Your Dinosaur" campaign several years previously. The popular "Carnivore or Herbivore?" program, with posters of dinosaurs on public billboards throughout the United Kingdom, had been credited with saving lives on more than one occasion.
"Sounds like it beats advertising any day," chuckled Jenny.
Connor's dark brown eyes grew large when the music started after dinner. The table of non-dancers caught the attention of the lead musician. At the break between sets, the man came over and introduced himself.
"Michael," suggested Connor as he pointed to the empty seat next to Jenny, "why don't you sit down?"
Conversation moved from music to public relations and beyond. A little later, Sarah's foot kicked Connor under the table.
"Ow," protested Connor. "What was that for?"
"You haven't asked me for a drink," answered Sarah.
"I didn't know you wanted one," replied Connor.
The archeologist rolled her eyes and gestured towards the bar. Connor finally took the hint.
"Sarah," asked Connor as he rose from the table, "would you like a drink?"
The archeologist tossed her dark hair back and stood to join the scientist. She linked her arm through Connor's. Together the two friends walked across the room leaving Jenny chatting with Michael.
"I haven't seen Jenny's eyes light up like that in years," whispered Sarah conspiratorially.
-x-x-x-x-x-x
Connor refused to take the children up to his parent's home for the holidays.
"No Mum," objected Connor, "we're staying in London."
The dark haired scientist listened to the voice on the phone and sighed.
"I know you think it's best," Connor continued, "but London is our home. And we have to learn to live without everyone clinging so much."
The Temple home might have gone without a Christmas tree that year, but Jack insisted.
"You have to Connor," argued Jack, "Sarah's old enough to remember."
Connor's parents, brother, sister-in-law and nephew arrived on Christmas Eve to help Connor and Jack decorate the small tree. Becker, Jess and little Georgie arrived later, and for a while the house was filled with laughter again. When Tommy managed to get up on his hands and knees and belly flop towards an ornament on the floor beneath the tree, a real smile spread across Connor's face.
-x-x-x-x-x-x
In February Emily got Connor to take little Sarah to the children's story hour at the library on Saturday morning. The Victorian had been stopping by nearly every other Monday with the latest children's picture books from the library near her and Matt's home. Emily would pick up the books from her last visit and leave a pile of new ones for Connor to read to the children.
"There is a puppet show this week to go along with the story, I'm bringing Caitlyn," encouraged Emily. "You should bring Sarah and Tommy."
The pretty young woman in charge of children's programs at the library came up to Emily at the end of the puppet show.
"Who's your friend Emily?" asked the woman. "And is he single?"
-x-x-x-x-x-x
On a sunny Saturday in May, the Becker and Temple families went for a walk in the park. Jess pushing Georgie's pram and Jack pushing Tommy's pram, wound up in front. Connor and Becker, swinging little Sarah between them, followed after.
"Tommy is so big compared to Georgie," said Jess.
The now nine month old baby was bigger than a six month old as expected, but Jess was trying very hard to make small talk with Jack. Walking, pushing strollers, and talking with Jack was nothing like Jess had imagined it would be like walking, pushing strollers, and talking with her best friend Abby.
"Tommy is a good eater," answered Jack with a shrug.
Jess glanced back over her shoulder. Becker, little Sarah and Connor were falling behind as the men slowed their footsteps to match the child's pace. She wasn't trying to pry, but did want to know if the people she loved were starting to heal.
"Is Sarah still having nightmares?"
"Not recently, I can't remember the last time," answered Jack.
Jess smiled.
"What about Connor," began Jess, "is he…"
"Connor still has nightmares every Saturday night," replied Jack as he pushed Tommy's stroller forward.
"What?" asked Jess in surprise. She stopped walking. "I didn't know Connor was having nightmares."
"Then why did you ask?"
"I didn't. I… I wasn't asking about nightmares," said Jess feeling flustered. "I was going to ask if Connor was interested in the librarian Emily introduced him to."
-x-x-x-x-x-x
Becker smiled as he glanced down at the little girl holding his hand and her father's.
"One, two, three," counted the soldier.
"Whee," squealed the child as she was lifted in the air. The two men plopped little Sarah down safely in the pathway a stride ahead of her launch point.
"Daddy," accused Sarah, "you forgot to say whee!"
The dark haired scientist blinked. He smiled at the little girl for a brief moment.
"You're right Princess," agreed Connor. "Maybe we should try again?"
This time, Connor said whee as the child was airborne. Ahead of them, Becker could see Jess and Jack slowing the prams next to a picnic table. Jess called for Sarah and the little girl ran off leaving Becker and Connor to catch up.
"How are things going Connor?" asked Becker.
"I guess they're going," replied the scientist. His face twisted up for a moment, then he added, "I just don't think things are ever going to be normal again."
Becker didn't quite know what to say, so he said something he remembered people telling his mother after his father had passed away.
"Just give it time," said Becker.
-x-x-x-x-x-x