I arrived back at the clubhouse with barely anywhere to park. To parking lot was full of cars, bikes and people, drinking, smoking and dancing all naked girls and men adorned in kuttes, all part of SAMCRO. I got out of my car and two very familiar people ran up to me, smothering me with hugs; Chibbs and Tig.

"Little las is back in town!" Chibbs picked me up in a big hug, swinging me around in a circle. As soon as my feet touched the ground Tig was wrapped around me next, nearing cracking my ribs from his hug.

"And those kids of yours? WEW. You did a good job, girl." He patted me on the back. The three of us walked inside, heading to the bar to get drinks.

"So how's it been goin' darlin'?" Chibbs sat down on a bar stool and I hopped up next to him. One of the crow eaters served me up a whiskey sour, just how I liked it.

"It's been good, ya know. It's busy being a single parent to 3 kids." And it was far from easy, too. Every day was a trial from the day we left Charming; I was on my own. For the first time in my life, I was really on my own. It tested me, but it built me and made me strong. I wasn't the same Logan that left 15 years ago, that was for sure.

"You done a mighty fine job though." We clanked the shot glasses infront of us and both threw back the Jameson. It had been so long so I drank, but God it felt good. I needed this, I really did.

I looked around the bar, the oddest feeling rushing over me. I saw Abel sitting nex to his handsome father at the bar, doing shots with Opie and Toby, while he fancied over one of the crow eaters. Nova was running the pool table, like always. This momma didn't raise no fool. She was playing with Juice and three members I didn't know.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Alex come up after getting a drink and sitting down next to her dad, him hugging her, and then her joining in with their conversation. This trip had turned my stomach completely unside down and back around, but I felt settling. Nothing was going wrong or crazy, and they were having a good time.

I spent th beginning half of my evening with Chibbs and Tig, playing a few rounds of pool and conversating with Nova and Juice, who were talking about some band I had never heard of. He was about 25 years too old for her and would never to do that me or Jax, but I was going to watch him like a fucking hawk.

I had a good buzz going and walked outside where it was less smokey, so I could take a smoke break. I pulled a joint out of my cigarette pack and sparked it up. I looked up at the night sky; so bright, so beautiful. Maybe I was drunk, or maybe I had just missed home that much, but it looked extra beautiful tonight and I felt extra happy.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went." Two arms touching my hips made me jump, spinning completely around and nearly throwing a punch.

"Jesus, fuck!" My heart was beating out of my chest and I dropped my joint. Jax fumbled to the ground, picking it back, brushing it off, hitting it, and then handing it back over to me. "You scared the shit out of me."

He chuckled, flashing me that devilish grin of is. It made my cheeks and thighs feel hot all at the same time.

"So the kids have really.. Grown up." he commented. Her was nervous, he jammed his hands in his pockets. "I feel like a piece of shit, Logan. 15 fucking years I missed. Hell, Alex doesn't even know who I am, not really." he looked at the ground kicking it. I could tell it was bothering him. "I'm sorry I left this all on your shoulders." he sat down on the picnic bench, just staring at the ground. I took a seat next to him and slapped his thigh with my open hand.

"Don't talk like that." I started on him. I finished my drink and slammed the empty glass down on the table. "Yeah, you did miss 15 years. But you missed those 15 years to save your kids and to give them a life they could never have here. You made the best decision there was to make at the time, Jax." I grabbed his hand with mine. "And I'll thank you for that for the rest of my life. You got us out of this place." It made me emotional thinking about it all, but I pushed it aside; I was not ruining my buzz. "Let's go get some shots with our kids; I think it's only right." He smiled at me, standing back up and walking side.

I think we killed a bottle of Patron by our selves. I didn't remember much by the time 2am came around; it was a brown-out night. I was drunk and my head was spinning, but I needed to find and check in on my children.

Abel was asleep in a chair, holding a beer still in his hand. Alex was asleep on the pool table, curled up with her dads SOA sweatshirt as a blanket, and Nova was at the end of the bar, still wide awake chatting it up with Toby Winston. They were good to go. I had to pee, and hopefully pass out soon.

I stumbled my way down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I got my pants down and just sat, leaning forward into my arms that were propped up on my knees. The room was spinning and my eyes were so heavy. I was so drunk I couldn't even fucking piss.

I nearly did when someone barging through the door scared me.

"Hey!" I shouted. I calmed down when I saw who it was. Jax walked back out the door, closing it.

"Uh, sorry." he called through the door.

Ugh. I had no option anymore. "No," I hiccuped. "It's okay." I hiccuped again. "I need your help." He cracked the door open. "Come in and close it." Hiccup.

He did as I had asked, keeping his back turns from me.

"Christ, Jaxon," I stood up, pulling my pants back up and buttoning them. "You've watched me give birth; twice. Don't act bashful now." And so he turned back around, giving me a look fit for a toddler.

"What did you need my help with?"

I thought for a second. Well, he couldn't help me pee and I seemed to have gotten up and my pants back on just fine. I didn't even know. "I can't remember."

We both stood there in awkward silence for a few moments, neither of us able to stop swaying back and forth from all the liquor we had drank over the course of the evening. And then, I made a stupid drunk decision.

There was a brief moment, right before, where our eyes met and it was like they opened a door to a whole other universe; like every memory and emotion I had ever had towards Jaxon Teller came flooding back to me all at once. I craved him like a fucking junkie craved a bag of dope and a clean needle.

And I lunged at him, jumping him like a lion jums an anteloupe. Our lips met immediately and he accepted, pulling me close. He wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling my pelvis to his, and his other hand held the back of my head, keeping our kiss deep.

He started venturing off, kissing my jawline and then my neck, going back and forth between the two. He pulled my shirt off to the side, kissing my shoulder. I had goosebumps all over my body and cold chills running down my spine; everywhere he kissed me felt like an electric pulse.

He reached down, grabbing up my thighs and pulled me up and around him. I wrapped my legs tight around him and my arms around his neck, twining a few of my fingers through his thick blonde hair. 44 and 48 years old and we still had the sex drive of teenagers; I don't think that would ever change.

But doing the math, I doubt either of us had had sex in a long time. I haven't in damn near 5 years, and considering he's been in state for 15 years, I doubt he had either.

He pulled away from our kissing, biting his lip and looking at me like a piece of steak, hot off the grill. "Do you wanna take this into my room?" God, his old clubhouse dorm room. I nodded, pulling him back in for kisses. He used his foot to open the bathroom door, not breaking our kiss as he carried me two doors down, kicking it open. He used my body to close it, pushing me up against the door.

He bit my neck, causing me to moan and yip!. While his right arm was under me, supporting my weight, he snuck his left one under and up my shirt, making no time getting my bra off of me. I squirmed to get down, not breaking our kiss as my feet hit the floor. I felt him use his pointed and middle finger to pinch my nipple a bit, making them both go hard instantly. I wasn't a fucking spring chicken anymore, but I knew I was as wet as faucet.

The two of us kept kissing, taking no time stripping down. I shook my pants off and pulled my shirt over my head and then unclasped my bra. It took Jax all of two seconds to get butt ass naked, his fully hard cock right infront of me.

I traced my fingers up and down his chest, biting my lip. He cocked his head, looking at me with a smirk. I came up and hugged him, kissing his neck and his shoulders. I made my one day slowly, bending my legs a little bit with each kiss. Soon enough I was on my knees, his cocking pointing straight up at me. It had been so long; so fucking long. I missed it, God I missed it so much.

Jax grabbed the back of my head with his right hand, getting a fistful of hair; he knew I liked it rough. I teased him at first, just flicking the tip with my tongue and pulling it in just to swirl my tongue around.

"Fuck," he murmered out. "Please." he begged, trying to push my head down on it. I gave in, pulling more of his cock into my mouth. I bobbed my head back and forth, looking up to see him throw his head back. I relaxed my throat and took a big breath, holding it as I slid his member literally down my throat. I had never heard such a moan escape his lips. He pushed my head, keeping it locked in position. I gagged and gagged and he moaned and moaned more. Finally I pushed away, coughing for air as I pulled his cock from my throat. He looked down at my, smiling, stroking his cock. "Get in the bed." he demanded. He didn't have to tell me twice.

I hopped up into the bed, laying there with my legs spread wide. There was as visable wet spot on my panties and I could feel my wetness running down onto my left ass cheek. I was turning myself on.

"Mm," he moaned at me like an animal. He slowly climbed on top of me, finding my lips with his own once again. He kissed me, making his way from my lips, to my neck and finally my breast, taking my entire nipple into his mouth. I gasped out, the pleasure being too much; I was always so sensitive with my boobs.

He licked and suckled my nipples, slowly sneaking his hand down the front of my panties, feeling my slit. I nearly jumped at his touch; I wanted him so fucking bad. He seperated my lips, letting go of my nipple to moan a bit when he felt my wetness.

"Fuck baby." he moaned to me. He pulled his fingers back out of my panties, showing me my sticky wetness between his fingers. He stuck his tongue out, cleaning the two wet fingers off, moaning at my taste. "Spread your legs." he demanded of me. I did as I was told, spreading my legs wide and laying back. Not unlike usual, I'd never be able to wear those underwear again; ripped in half.

"Tell my what you want, baby." he told me. His head was right between my thighs, I could feel his breath against my core. God, I wanted him so bad.

"Eat me."

"What? I couldn't hear you." He loved fucking with me, but what he didn't know was that I wasn't playing this time. I grabbed a big handful of his hair, pulling it so he would look right at me.

"I said eat this fucking pussy." And I shoved his head down. He didn't fight, just dove straight in, wrapping his arms around my legs to hold me tight against him.

I felt like my body was going into shock as he swirled his tongue all around my clit, up and down, back and forth, side to side, circles. I coudn't help it but my body jerked with every movement he made. He freed up a hand, using it to spread my lips to get a good view at my clit; he pressed his lips to it, sucking on it. I was losing my fucking mind from how good it felt.

I grabbed at the sheets, leaning my head back. "Fuck, Jax." I moaned out. He moved his tongue faster, nearly bringing me to my climax, but stopped. Always such a fucking tease. "Baby please fuck me." I begged him, wanting to cum more than anything. He rubbed two of his fingers against my entrance, shoving them deep into me. I gasped, pleasure taking over my body. He pumped in and out a few times before pulling them out and shoving them in my mouth. He lined his thick hard cock up with me, teasing my entrance with the head of it. "God, please!" I shouted, begging him for his sex like I was begging for my life.

His left hand grabbed the headboard and his right hand grabbed my neck, pushing his entire length inside of me. I caught my breath, feeling him at the bottom of my lungs.

"Oh, fuck, Jax." I managed to moan out over being choked. He picked up the pace and I wrapped my legs around him, making him go deeper. With each stroke he went harder and faster, making me moan more and more. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I moaned out again and again. In a quick movement he rolled me over and pulled me up by my hips, sliding back into me. He shoved my face down into the pillow, moaning loud as he fucked me harder than I had been fucked in years.

"I'm gonna cum." I whined out. He went harder and faster, getting himself close to climax with me. We were both so close, ready to cum together and then collapse; and then the door opened.

"Oh holy fuck!" Nova shouted, just standing there, disgust and surprise on her face. "Shit!" She just stood there. Jax and I fumbled around to cover up and I grabbed a pillow, chucking it at her head.

"Nova Rae, get out!" I shouted at the door. She closed it immediately.

"Sorry," she called through the door. "I was looking for the bathroom.. Jesus fuck, mom!"

My face was bright red, I covered it with my hands; God, what did I do?

"Hey," Jax shouted through the door. "Don't talk to your mother like that. She's a god damn adult and can do what she wants."

"And by do what she wants you mean you, right?"

"Nova!" Jax and I both shouted through the door. I heard her boots click down the hallway. I feel back onto the bed, groaning.

Jax laid down next to me, giggling.

"It's not funny." I told him seriously.

He tried to compose himself, but couldn't. His laughter was contagious and I couldn't help but laugh myself; it was funny, he was right.

"This is gonna make for an interesting morning." I told him, snuggling close. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me over to lay my head on his chest.

"I've never missed someone like I missed you." I didn't want to hear it, so I just chuckled, hoping it would stop him. "No, I'm being serious. I thought about you everyday, thought about the kids everyday. Thinking about how things could have been if I just would have listened to you. I'm so fucking sorry you had to do this on your own, Logan." He grabbed my face soft, rolling it up to look at him. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

Why did I still feel this way? Why was it like no time had passed, and I left this place yesterday and came right back? Why did my heart still hur this way, still miss him this way? I hated this; I hated it so much. But I didn't hate it enough to not have sex with him four more times that night.

Fuck.