The Jew and I stared up at the dismal sight before us. Kyle sighed in disappointment and I had to admit I felt the same. This was the best our sorry ass elementary school could provide for us? The hotel, our "home" for the next two weeks sagged to the left side; the paint peeling away like rotted green flesh; the broken shutters stayed open, now retired from their assigned job; the arched doorway, probably once magnificent, had formed into a tired, defeated frown; and the bright orange flowers surronding the ancient building appeared to be a desperate attempt at cheerfulness, but only added to the pungent smell of musk and decay. Kyle grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door, apparently wanting to get this over with as soon as physically possible.

As we stepped inside, Mr. Garrison handed us two room keys. "Your room is 245. Don't touch anything." We glanced around to our fellow classmates were now skeptical about this field trip as well. I started up from the room, Kyle following like the pathetic Jew he was.

When the room was unveiled, even though we had brace ourselves, the smell worsened from the enclosed space and the room's appearance was just as bad as the outside. Chairs that looked unstable and squeaked without a person on them, were situated around a rectangular table with three legs and a jagged crack down the center; the two dressers sat side by side along the far wall were moldy and I saw a large bug scuttle across one of the top drawers' handle; the beds looked stiff and the sheets felt papery under my skeptical touch; and the thin curtain replacing the broken shutters draped themshelves over the dirty windows, allowing little light into the already dim room. I briefly wondered if anyone else's room was as dismal and hazardous as ours before turning to Kyle.

"Jew, you think you could use some of your horded gold to bribe the owner into giving us a better room?" The ginger-Jew was livid.

"Cartman...." He started.

"Calm down Jew, I don' t think there are any good rooms anyway." The damage had already been done though. The redhead sent one last glare my way before stalking out of the room.

'Geez, what a douchebag.' I thought. A light bulb clicked on my head. I could use this unfortunate partnership to my advantage. After all, distressing the Jew was what I lived for. A slow sadistic smile spread over my face.

Let the torture begin.

~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~

At dinner, the Jew still was not willing to talk to me but I did not mind at all because I knew Jews should be seen and not heard, much like black people. The food on my plate was inedible, so when I sat down with Kenny, I began a conversation, hoping not to be completely bored on the trip.

"So how is everything?" I asked, not really caring, just worried about boredom.

Kenny gave me suspicious once-over. Apparently I did not do this as much as I thought. ("What do you want, Cartman?") I tried feigning innocence.

"Whatever do you mean, Kenny?" His glare told me that he was not happy with what had happened earlier. "Look, if you want me to explain myself about Kyle-"

"Oh I do, but I want to specifically know why I had to drag Stan away to be my partner. I appreciate the alone time with him man, but he won't talk to me so what's the point?"

"I never said Stan wouldn't be mad at you for taking him from his first choice. That's only logical after you wouldn't take no for an answer." He shot daggers at me, but kept silent. "Now, I knew if Stan wasn't with Kyle, the Jew wouldn't have a partner in the buddy system. I needed all the time I could to make his life a living hell." Lies, so many lies. I was surprised Kenny did not see through them. "Now are you going to help me or not?"

"If Stan ever found out-"

"But he won't. Stop being such a pussy." If looks could kill....

Dinner passed by quietly enough after that. Kenny decided his loyalties were with me and the only other event worth mentioning was that Mr. Garrison got super pissed off at all of us not sitting with our partners and he told us that the rest of the trip we were to be with our partners twenty-four hours a day.

"Goddamit." I sighed. Kenny just sighed and we left our dishes on the table for someone else to clean up. I passed Jewfag and was surprised that he was not around the hippie. In fact, he was talking to the hippie bitch for some reason.

"Listen Wendy, just don't tell anyone this happened. Especially Stan. I don't think he'd handle this well."

"Like I'd tell him," the raven girl hissed, "I don't want him to know any more than you do."

Usually I had better things to do than listen in on a conversation between two of my least favorite people, but this particular bit pequed my interest. What exactly was going on here? I was not sure, but I was going to find out. They parted when Wendy stormed away and I seized my chance.

"Hey Jew," I said, sliding up to him casually. He regarded me with suspicion, much like Kenny had earlier.

"Hey Cartman...." Finally, a reponse from him! Feeling good about where the conversation was headed. I kept going even as he started walking toward the stairs.

"I know your secret." Of course, I did not, but I hoped he would the state it sometime in his shocked reply.

He paused halfway up the fight and turned to me with wide eyes. "What?"

"You and Wendy?" Yeah, I know all about that and who's to say the hippie won't find out soon enough about it?" He blanched, already picturing Stan's reaction to his secret. What had happened between those two...? My eyes lit up with the thought of a potential fight between the Super Best Friends.

"You...know?" He whispered, his sweet terror of me showing in his green orbs.

"Yeah, what are you willing to do to keep me silent?" I did not know why I had given him a choice, considering he would do anything to keep Stan's friendship.

"Anything," he pleaded. See?

"Good." I know what I was doing was risky. He could find out-pretty quickly-that I knew nothing about what he wanted to hide except that both of them wanted to hide it.

His eyes narrowed dangerously and for a split second I almost felt a flicker of fear, but it was quickly squashed. There was no reason to be scared of a Jew, Jesus was on my side. "I hate you Cartman," he sighed, "I wish you weren't my partner." He walked up to the room before I could cut him down with a witty comeback.

I turned to go back downstairs and came face to face with Kenny. He had his eyebrow raised knowingly.

"Mmmph mmph mph mph mmmph mmph." (Kyle's really pissed at you, Cartman.)

I looked up the flight to see the ginger-Jew's red hair disappear through our doorway.

"Yeah, well, what do you expect from a Jew?"

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

A/N: This chapter was short, but that's how I wanted it this time. The next one should be longer.

Please review guys! I'll post the second chapter as soon as possible, but reviews seriously help with my procrastination problem! It helps me know that someone out there is looking forward to the update.

Preview!

"Come on Jew, let me in!" I called though the locked piece of wood. It appeared to be rotted, but it held against all my pushing.

"No! Go find another partner!" He responsed. What a selfish bitch!

"Open up!" I screamed. I knew people were trying to digest the disgusting crap the hotel had tried to pass off as food in peace, but I could not let this bitchy Jew win the battle. That would be weakness.

I saw the door open and Kyle's head poked out.

"You're really loud." He said with a grimace on his face before pulling back inside and shutting the door again.

Lame.

There it is! Enjoy!

~theflawintheplan