Turned out Poe's idea was just as crazy as what Rey had feared: faking a friendship with the Thirst Order- or, as Rose liked to insist on calling them, the Thirsties- and meeting Poe every day after school to report on the stupid things she'd heard all day. The first time he'd said it, she hadn't been convinced by the utility of the plan, even less by its discretion: Hux looked like he could see right through her, and she didn't feel like spending her days with people who seriously had rules such as wearing plaid shirts every Wednesday; but if that was the price to pay for being friends with Poe, Finn and Rose, she was willing to give it a try.
After a month, it appeared that the plan wasn't as crazy as it sounded and, despite what she tried so hard to show, actually rather fun. Every day, she would sit with Hux, Phasma and Ben for lunch and every day, she would listen to their daily complains about whoever had managed to ruin their morning, student or teacher, were it with a long lesson or an ugly skirt. Within a month, she'd gained everyone's trust to such an extent that she'd been invited to Hux's house a few times after school. Of course, she always refused the offer, knowing her real friends were waiting for her.
"So, Rey," Phasma started as they were about to finish their lunch, "how do you feel about your first month at school?"
Caught off guard, Rey froze, her open mouth ready to welcome the fries planted on her fork as her eyes met the tall girl's. "It's… interesting," she replied tacitly.
A smile spread on Phasma's lips as she joined her hands together. "You haven't even seen all of it," she stated as the fries finally landed into Rey's mouth. "I can't wait for you to attend your first party."
"Speaking of," Hux interrupted as he turned to Ben, "How's the Halloween one coming along?"
Firmly focused on his meal he'd barely touched, the brooding young man vaguely shrugged as he looked up, his gaze cautiously avoiding Rey as he turned to his friend. "My parents won't be in town and my godfather offered to buy booze."
"Good. You invited everyone?"
Something froze inside of Rey as she saw Ben approve silently with a nod before returning his attention to the food tray in front of him. After four weeks of almost complete silence from him, she'd first thought he was just a very, very shy boy- but as the days passed, it became more and more evident that Ben actually had a problem with her. She'd tried not to let it get to her mind, but the more he avoided her, the more curious she'd become. She could've talked to him numerous time about it, but every time, her tongue seemed to melt, preventing her from saying even a single word. Today was no exception, and she remained painfully silent as she watched him mumble an excuse and leave the table prematurely.
"Don't let him intimidate you," Phasma recommended with a smile as she followed Ben's figure with her eyes until he disappeared behind the double-wing door of the cafeteria.
"I'm not intimidated," Rey retorted as she quickly looked away.
"Well, he sure is," the blonde girl stated with a shrug. Encouraged by Rey's inquiring look, she added: "He's more nervous than usual every time you're here."
A grin made its way on Hux and Phasma's lips and she felt her face turn red by the insinuation, but the previous conversation quickly made it back to her mind. "I guess that's why he didn't invite me," she murmured sheepishly before stuffing her mouth with more fries.
"I'll talk to him," Hux assured with an amused roll of his eyes. "It's not you, he's just weird."
She wasn't sure 'weird' was the term she would've used. Impressive, maybe. Despite what she'd told Phasma, she was definitely impressed by Ben every time she ended up sitting next to him at lunch or catching his eyes before he quickly looked away. Even after an entire month, she couldn't think of a single time when he'd talked to her, always managing to shrug, nod, or address his other friends as if she simply wasn't there. It was stupid, it really was- yet, the realization that she hadn't been invited to this apparently awaited party didn't leave Rey as she entered the classroom later. Far too lost in her thoughts, it took her a moment to realize Ben was staring at her from a desk at the back of her class.
Well, it was technically his class before hers. After a brief discussion with her math teacher, she'd been offered to join the 12th grade calculus class as her specialized subject; unlike the cafeteria and Thirst Order rules, numbers were something she definitely understood and could agree with. Focusing her attention on the few empty desks left in the room, she tentatively approached the one next to the window, quickly claimed by a student who glared at her with the darkest look she'd ever seen. When it appeared that none of the other chairs were free anymore, Rey finally accepted her defeat and sat on the one behind Ben's.
"Good afternoon, class!" a rather small woman exclaimed as she closed the door behind her.
A smile appeared on Rey's lips as she followed her- a smile that quickly vanished when the teacher disappeared behind Ben's gigantic back. Instinctively, her mouth opened but closed straight away. How could she even ask him to switch desks when he kept ignoring her existence? Begrudgingly, she swallowed her words and focused on the instructions dictated by the dynamic woman who, judging by the sounds echoing across the room, was pacing up and down the stage underneath the black board.
Something familiar washed over Rey as she started solving the equations written on the board. For the first time since she'd left Jakku, someone here seemed to be speaking her language; no matter this someone was a piece of paper filled with calculations. True to herself, she finished earlier than the other students and began to fill the top of the page with her name and student number, when an idea made its way to her mind.
"Hey," she whispered to Ben's back.
Of course, he remained absolutely motionless. Rolling her eyes, she leaned on her desk and poked him with the end of her pen. This time, he shifted a little and turned to her with a frown.
"Sorry," she mumbled sheepishly. "I- what's the date?"
A brief, awkward silence followed her words as he seemed to consider her, before finally answering the question. "It's October 3rd."
"Thanks," she murmured, but he'd already turned back to his own paper and started running his pen on the paper.
The rest of the hour passed with slowness she'd rarely experienced and, by the end of the day, she came to the conclusion that Ben Solo truly, deeply hated her for a reason she ignored.
"Come on, it can't be that awful," Finn said as she shared her doubts with her friends after school.
Lazily settled on Rey's bed, he'd been listening to Rey's daily report with a grin every time she mentioned the senior who had, in her own words, 'ruined her day". Sitting next to him, Rose had remained silent the whole time, preventing Poe from saying something when Rey had timidly suggested the possibility that, maybe, this whole thing wasn't worth it.
"You mean you're abandoning the mission?" Poe finally exclaimed after silence fell on the room.
"I just mean I'm not sure it's-"
The words died on her lips as her phone started vibrating against the floor. In the same movement, the four friends looked down on the screen, their eyes widening at the sight of the name appearing above the green and red buttons.
"You have his number?" Finn asked in a voice full of disbelief.
Frozen to the spot, Rey shrugged and nodded at the same time. "Yeah, they all gave me their-"
"Oh my god Rey, answer the damn phone!" Poe gasped.
Slightly trembling, she grabbed the device and unlocked it under her friends' excited gazes. Swallowing with difficulty, she took a deep breath and planted it against her ear, her voice as uncertain as her movements. "Hello?"
"Hi," Ben's voice echoed at the other side of the line. "It's me, Ben. Ben Solo."
Of course she knew who it was. Doing her best to ignore her pounding heart, Rey bit her lips, her hand tightening around the phone. "Hi."
"Hi," he repeated. An awkward silence followed, during which she glared at her friends giggling around her. She was about to speak again, when Poe took the phone from her hands and put the conversation on speaker with a grin. Just as she took it back, Ben's voice rose again, slightly more uncertain than before. "Are you doing anything on Halloween?"
Rose's eyebrows both lifted a few inches, seconded by Finn's.
"Oh." For a moment, it was all Rey would say, causing all her friends to roll their eyes. "You… don't have to. Really, whatever Hux told you, it's ok. I get it if you don't-"
"No, I- Hux didn't tell me anything."
"Oh."
Another silence filled the room, and the three friends all stopped laughing. Silently, Poe began to motion to the phone, beckoning her to say something, to which she just firmly shook her head as Ben spoke again. "So, uh, if you don't have anything, I have this party at my house."
"So I heard," she mumbled automatically. Realizing what she'd just said, she felt a wince cross her face as she shamefully closed her eyes. God, she was stupid. No wonder why he hated her.
"Yeah, about that…" A sigh emanated from the phone, echoing across the room. "Sorry, I… meant to invite you. I just thought maybe you'd be too busy."
"I'm not," Rey blurted out. Almost immediately, Poe violently shook his head and began to mouth incomprehensible things. "I mean, I was," she added as she desperately tried to understand her friend's silent advices, "but not anymore. I guess."
"Good," Ben replied after a moment. "See you tomorrow then?"
"Yeah, sure," she babbled under Poe's gaze. "See you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow," he repeated in a lower voice.
A few seconds passed before he finally hung up, leaving the four friends as quiet as the grave. Poe was the first to break the silence, cautiously articulating as a small smile curled the corners of his lips. "So… our little Rey has a thing for Ben Solo?"
"Of course not!" she hastened to reply with a shocked expression.
"You're blushing like crazy," Finn pointed out as she got on her feet.
"Because you're all looking at me," she grumbled as she made her way next to Rose, who'd remained silent the whole time.
"Well, you can't deny that he's cute," Poe said with a shrug.
This time, she clearly felt her face turn red. Of course Ben Solo was cute. He was actually a little more than cute. "He is," she admitted timidly.
"Rey, he's insanely hot," Rose scolded when she settled by her side.
The words only increased Rey's flush. A few inches from her, Finn cleared his throat. "Ok, but you know what it means?"
"I have to tell him?"
Almost immediately, a chorus of 'Rey, no!' erupted, causing her to jump with surprised. Even after a month, she apparently kept making mistakes about these unspoken rules her friends tirelessly tried to teach her. Just a week ago, she'd learned that saying hello to people just because they seemed nice wasn't exactly as normal as it had been in Jakku. Of course, nothing happened except a weird look from the stranger she'd smiled at; but her friends kept sighing with a mix of exasperation and amusement every time one of these 'culture shock things', as her parents liked to call it, happened.
"You have to place everything on your Halloween costume," Rose explained patiently.
A smile appeared on Rey's lips as her eyebrows rose with understanding. "Oh! I can do that!"
"What can you do, honey?" a voice called from the corridor.
In the same movements, the four students turned to the door and Rey felt her smile grow wider at the sight of her mother. Even though they weren't connected through blood, people always told Rey she looked very much like her mother: brown hair, hazel eyes and the same trail of freckles traveling along their noses and cheekbones.
"Halloween costume," Rey replied immediately before Poe could get the chance to say anything about the call she'd just received. In less than three weeks, he'd managed to win her mother's heart with such facility it was almost absurd. More than happy that her daughter had found friends, Jyn always welcome the three students with a warm smile- but Poe just happened to be more at ease than his boyfriend and Rose, who kept timidly greeting Mrs. Erso with polite smiles.
"She's invited to a party," Poe added with a grin.
"A party?" Jyn repeated with surprise before turning to her daughter. "Rey, this is great! You could all go as ghostbusters."
"Oh we're not invi-," Finn started to say before Rey nudged him in the stomach, stopping him mid-sentence before he rectified: "Poe and I are already going as Batman and Robin."
"I look great in tights," Poe stated casually, making the whole room laugh.
It appeared, four weeks later, that 'halloween costume' probably didn't mean the same thing to Rey than it did to every single person in America. Treading upon the pavement, she soon realized that everyone- children, parents and teenagers- was dressed up as various colorful characters she didn't know, or as if they'd just been forced to sacrifice their pants. Either way, none of them looked scary, which seemed a bit odd for such a celebration.
As usual, Rey looked ridiculously out of place: wrapped up in an imposing wedding dress her mother had lent her, she was beginning to wonder if placing everything on her costume actually meant wearing fake teeth and an awful wig. On top of that, the whole outfit had been splattered with fake blood. I've always hated that dress, Jyn had assured her while Cassian had been joyously spreading red liquid over the skirt, giggling like a kid finally allowed to destroy his least favorite toy.
The walk to Ben's home –only a few blocks away from hers- had already made her rethink her choice, but her doubts were confirmed when a lingerie-wearing Phasma opened the door of the giant house, eyeing her from head to toe before releasing a not-so-subtle sigh.
"Oh, Rey, you're adorable…" she murmured with an amused smile.
"Thanks," she replied as she noticed how short Phasma's black dress was. "What's your… costume?"
Pointing at the headband keeping her hair from her face, Phasma rolled her eyes. "I'm a cat! Duh."
It was, indeed, crowned with pointed ears. Not even giving Rey time to ask what kind of cat wore lacy-topped tights, the senior girl grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside. Immediately, Rey found herself surrounded by too many noises and smells she had the hardest time listing. Unknown music, sweat, laughter, plastic, perfume- everything seemed to blend into a weird, sickening whole that already had her head spinning.
"Come on, Hux has to see your costume," Phasma pressed as they trotted to the living room.
"I'm not sure- sorry," Rey apologized as she bumped into a few guests she'd never seen before. "I should get changed, actually."
Not even listening to her, Phasma kept pushing people aside as she progressed through the room, dragging Rey with her. After a few complaints from the guests, usually shut with a single glare from the tall girl, they finally reached the table where Hux was talking to another senior student, a red cup in hands.
"Holy shit," he breathed as he turned away from his friend to acknowledge them. "Rey, you're hideous."
"Thanks," she murmured sheepishly, not sure if this was a compliment.
Not daring to ask what his costume was lest she would make a fool of herself by ignoring the existence of another movie or show, she considered his outfit attentively. At first glance, he looked like a typical baseball player, a yellow and blue jacket simply covering his narrow shoulders- but as she kept looking, a few stains of fake blood scattered here and there became more clear. He'd also ripped his jeans -something she'd once heard him point out as 'savage'.
"So, you're…?"
"A zombie baseball player," he replied with a nod. "And you're a... zombie bride?"
He didn't look anything like a zombie, Rey thought as she narrowed her eyes; except for the dramatically torn clothes revealing his pale skin. He was seriously lacking the amount of muscles this type of costume surely hinted at. "I'm an ex-wife," she said with a smile exposing her fake teeth, "I guess we sort of get along!"
All she was met with was a chuckle, and a shake of his head before Hux ran to another one of these friends she'd never heard of.
The party ran is course, but even after an hour, the host was nowhere to be found.
Not that she'd really been looking for him: trying to follow Phasma through the gigantic house was quite an adventure in itself, but she'd assumed, after spending two months eating with them every day, the three seniors would at least stay with her during her first party. Her real friends would never have left her alone- of that, she was certain. They also wouldn't have put such loud music, or drank as much as these people seemed to. More than once, she'd been offered one of these red cups she kept seeing all around the house, but she kept refusing every time. She'd been offered cigarettes, too; but refusing to smoke seemed more acceptable than refusing to drink.
Eventually, Phasma disappeared, leaving Rey alone in a crowd of unknown faces all staring at her with amused smiles. She was about to ask what was wrong when she remembered her get-up and how discordant she was, and a timid "Where's the bathroom?" was all that came out of her mouth.
"Upstairs," replied a boy she recognized as a student from her calculus class.
Feeling like asking for more details would only result in more giggles and intrigued looks, she silently thanked them with a nod before climbing the stairs as quickly as her heavy dress allowed her to. Even though she hadn't drink a single drop of alcohol, her head ended up spinning from the ascent and loud music she could still hear as she considered the long corridor in front of her. Half a dozen mirrors, and just as many doors were staring back at her, none of them displaying a single 'bathroom' sign that could've guided her. With a sigh, she began her quest for the room where she hoped she would be able to get rid of that costume as well as the mocking looks she'd felt on her the whole evening.
The first tries weren't exactly successful: every time she opened a door, she stumbled upon guest rooms and studies, all plunged in darkness. She was starting to wonder if this house even had a bathroom when she opened the last door of the corridor, only to find herself face to face with a very confused Ben Solo.
The room was very different from the five others she'd just seen. Indeed, it was different from the whole house: far from the purified aesthetic she'd observed since her arrival, it looked like he'd made sure that every single inch of his walls were covered, to such an extent that she wasn't able to see its original color. Posters, pictures, drawing- he'd even added a few postcards on top of it all. A never-ending bookcase filled with DVDs and action figures ran along the largest wall with, in its center, a TV on which she could read the words Game Over.
"Uh… hi," she mumbled.
She wasn't sure if talking to him was the thing to do in that kind of situation, but running away without saying anything sure wasn't the best reaction. Leaving his stretched out position, Ben straightened up on his bed, his hands firmly tightened around a gamepad.
"You didn't come here to murder me, did you?" he murmured after a moment of observing her costume.
A nervous chuckle escaped Rey, as well as an blush as she remembered how she looked like. "No, I'm just… looking for the bathroom. Looks like your house doesn't have any, you might want to report it."
It was now Ben's turn to let out a soft chuckle. "There's one per room, actually," he explained. "Mine's just there, you can use it."
Following the direction his finger was pointing at, Rey noticed a door handle concealed behind more posters. Thanking him with a nod, she took the few steps separating her from the invisible door and opened it, eager to extricate herself from this ridiculous costume.
Based on many conversations she'd witnessed in the two past months, she'd guessed that Ben and his friends all came from rich families; but not the one-bathroom-per-room kind of rich. As carefully as she could, she sat on the edge of the bathtub and took her wig off.
"I've been looking for you." The word left her mouth before she could even think about it.
Ben's voice echoed from behind the door a few seconds later, slightly more assured than he'd ever been. "Oh?"
Weirdly, not being able to see him as they talked encouraged her to keep talking. Reaching for the zipper running along her waist, she bit her lips with apprehension as she opened her mouth once again. "Yeah, you didn't exactly let me thank you for the invitation."
A brief silence followed, before his voice rose again. "Well, you're welcome."
She almost didn't hear his last word as her costume fell on the floor, leaving her with nothing more than the light white underdress she'd been wearing underneath. Doing her best not to step on the lacy fabric, she stepped over it as many possible questions rushed through her head. Surprisingly enough, Ben had proved in the last weeks that avoiding her even more than before was indeed possible. From shortening his meals to changing his seat in calculus, every excuse seemed like a good one not to talk to her.
"So, what are you doing here?" she asked while brushing the surface of her new outfit. According to the mirror above the sink, her cheeks were still bright red.
"If I say I'm avoiding my own party, would you believe me?"
Her lips curled into a small smile at the answer. Of course. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the handle of the door once again and walked back into the room, her heavy dress in hands. "I would."
A new silence fell on the room. Unsure about what to do next, Rey looked away, the noise of floppy fabric brushing the floor as she walked back to the door. Just when she was about to open it, she hesitated for a split second- a split second that led to another, and another, until she took her courage and turned back to Ben. "Mind sharing your hideout?"
He shrugged in response, motioning to the spot next to him, and for a brief moment, she was almost certain she'd seen his cheeks turn as red as hers.
She wasn't sure how much time they stayed here –an hour, maybe two- but she was absolutely sure of one thing: she regretted not playing video games until today. Barely speaking, Ben still insisted that she was insanely good for a beginner, to which she replied with a modest shrug. The game was rather intuitive once the buttons and their roles were memorized, and oddly more entertaining than the party happening downstairs. After another victory, Rey let out a sigh before finally turning to Ben. With each passing second since they'd started to play, his jaw had seemed to relax a little more. He'd even looked at her a few times, when she wasn't observing the denim jacket covering his broad shoulders.
"Rumor has it I make your nervous?" she asked in a breath.
The repetitive music announcing his defeat echoed from his gamepad. Visibly nervous, Ben bit his lips and let out a soft chuckle.
"Well, you just killed me, and your fake teeth aren't helping."
Shit. Rolling her eyes at her stupidity, Rey quickly took the accessory out of her mouth, drawing another chuckle out of her adversary.
"I meant on a daily basis," she corrected sheepishly while placing the fake teeth at the foot of the bed where she'd abandoned her dress and wig.
Swallowing with difficulty, Ben nodded a few times as his smile vanished, making way to a frown. After a few seconds of intense reflection, he took a deep breath and looked at her. "Yes. You're… different from the others."
A sour laugh escaped Rey at the revelation. "Yeah, cause I don't know anything."
"No!" Ben exclaimed on an apologetic tone. "No, you're… I mean, yes, but it's interesting. You're probably far more cultured than any of us."
This time, Rey remained silent. Interesting. The word kept echoing inside her head, bouncing against the walls as the temperature of the room seemed to increase significantly. She wasn't sure she'd ever heard him talk so much let alone with such a low voice.
"Yeah, but… in the end, being different often means being alone," she murmured bitterly.
"You're not alone."
The words hit her like a knife. Timidly, she planted her eyes into Ben's, who gulped but held her gaze. He was nothing like the Ben Solo she'd seen every day since her arrival: shifting eyes, no dry remarks said just for the sake of impressing his friends. Just for a moment, it seemed like there was only them, a boy standing in front of a girl, promising her something he probably couldn't imagine the impact of. And just for a moment, she wanted to believe him.
"Neither are you," Rey replied in a murmur.
Following her instincts, she let go of the gamepad and placed a hand on the mattress, halfway between them. Following her movements with his eyes, Ben mirrored the gesture and brushed her fingers with his.
They stayed like this for a few seconds, or maybe it was minutes, until Rey finally found it in her to clear her throat and remove her hand. "We should probably go back downstairs," she babbled. "I heard you're hosting a party there."
Chuckling, Ben approved with a nod and left the bed. Following suit, Rey realized as she got back on her feet that he's wasn't that tall- she could easily reach his lips, if she wanted to. Following her thoughts, her eyes lingered on his mouth then shifted to the shirt he was wearing under a denim jacket. It was plaid, as usual, but she wasn't sure she'd ever seen this one before: different shades of green and blue running along the pattern, far from the red and black one he'd worn last Wednesday. Not that she'd noticed it, of course.
"What's your costume?" she asked, intrigued by the normality of his outfit. She'd grown used to seeing him in plaid shirts –every Wednesday, as the rule stated-, but never had she seen him without his usual black leather jacket.
"Oh," Ben breathed out, looking down at his shirt as well. "I'm Bender."
A silence followed, during which he looked back at Rey.
"The Breakfast Club?" he added.
She shook her head, as she did every time someone mentioned something she didn't know.
"God, you need to see it. I probably have the DVD somewhere; I'll give it to you."
Ready to laugh at herself as she'd been doing for weeks now, Rey felt her eyes widen at Ben's tone. He was, by far, the first not to make a song and dance about her ignorance of what sounded like a classic. Not even a smile or a scoff crossed his face as he looked at her dress one more time, visibly thinking. "You could use another costume."
Oblivious to the smile curling her lips, she grabbed the dress she'd left on the floor and threw it on her shoulder. "I'm actually going as the girl who got rid of her costume because everyone kept laughing at her."
"Screw them," Ben murmured. Once again, he stared at her for a few seconds until something seemed to cross his mind. "Come on, I have an idea."
Intrigued yet curious, Rey followed him to the other side of the room where he stopped in front of a large wardrobe reflecting their image. They may look different, but… seeing herself next to Ben wasn't as weird as she'd imagined. At first sight, they were like night and day. He would've stood from the crowd in Jakku, paler than the albino meerkat she'd once seen travel across the village. But now, she was the meerkat: small, out of place with her still sun-bronzed skin highly contrasting with his, far from her homeland. Now that she thought about it, she wondered if Ben had ever seen a meerkat. Maybe on his TV, or in a zoo; nothing like the breathtaking landscapes she missed so much.
They definitely looked different; yet, something in their duo felt natural. Maybe it was the way she kept smiling every day to balance his morose gaze; or how his silence beckoned her to pay more attention to what was happening around her. Lost in their reflection, she'd forgotten to ask what he was looking for when Ben victoriously brandished a pink T-shirt.
"Arms up?" he asked timidly, a small smile on the corner of his mouth.
Caught unaware, Rey raised an eyebrow but obeyed nonetheless and the wedding dress fell on the floor once again. Cautiously, Ben slid the T-shirt above her head and pulled gently on its edge, accompanying it until it completely fell on her bust.
"I was already wearing a dress," she pointed out with a smile. Shaking his head, Ben bit his lip as he looked around him with frustration, until finally he seemed to find what he was looking for. Not giving her any explanation, he grabbed the brown blanket they'd been sitting on for the past hour and beckoned Rey to keep her arms in the air as his parted around her hips, sending a shiver over her body.
"Now you're Claire," he murmured as he knotted the loose ends of the blanket on top on the large T-shirt.
"Claire," Rey repeated as if she was learning a lesson. Risking a glance to the mirror, she found herself smiling at her own reflection as well as Ben's.
"You'll understand when you see the movie," he promised as he threw a khaki coat on top of his jacket. Even through the mirror, she could see him looking at her with a smile that made her heart miss a beat. "You really have to see it."
"Sure thing, uh… Bender?" Rey tented with a smile as she turned back to him, narrowing her eyes in an effort to remember the name he'd told her earlier.
"You can call me Ben."
Just as a grin made its way on his lips, she realized she'd never seen him smile before that night. Way too conscious of her burning cheeks, she felt her own lips curl into an amused smile. "Ok, Ben," she articulated as she followed him to the door.