A/N
This is the one shot that was won by randommama in FGB. It was based on the picture located in my profile.
***Please note, the letters in italics are Beethoven's words, not mine.***
***Translations: mein Engelchen is German for my angel (thanks to Cougar Chloe for helping me with that!)
Huge thanks TwilightMomofTwo who beta'd this for me. And much love to my pre-reader snshyne.
EPOV
Vienna, 1801
I remember the first time I saw her.
She was beyond words. Describing her in sounds and syllables seemed somehow impossible.
Yet I shall try.
She was like an angel. Her long hair was the rich color and shine of polished mahogany wood, her skin perfection, like fresh cream. Her eyes were wide and innocent, lined with long lashes, and the color of perfectly warmed brandy.
She was small and petite in frame, and I swear that if my heart were beating, it would have stopped at the very sight of her.
In fact, my fingers nearly paused in their movement on the keys of the piano I was playing. This evening I had been asked to perform in the salon of a friend for his wife's company. My brief glance of heaven was almost too much, and I returned to the keys in front of me, playing for her alone now. I wondered if she could hear in the notes the affect she had on me.
Notes floated, stirred around us, and I concentrated on the melody, seeing it through to the end.
I finished, and a small applause from my audience followed. I stood, bowed graciously, and briefly glanced up.
Yes, mein Engel was still in attendance.
Perhaps it was a fluke of nature, cruelly handed
to me. The flicker of candlelight brought her beauty into sharp focus, and then she was called away, to another room.
I felt the loss instantly. Though, she was still so very close, the light fragrance of something flowery and soft like freesia lingered in the air.
I was expected to mingle, and my host was complimentary enough to introduce me to some of his guests. I nodded and acknowledged pleasantries.
There was only one introduction I wished for.
And finally, the moment came. I could hear the air rushing in my ears, and the room grew silent and dimmed around us, as her eyes met mine. Her smell, her very decadent scent, leaped down my throat and burned, igniting a hunger for her more potent than any I had ever experienced before.
"Herr Cullen, allow me to introduce you to my wife's niece, Fraulein Isabella Marie Swan."
I took her hand in the usual social requirements, but when her skin met mine, the touch sent a shock through my entire system.
I had to have her. She was heaven at once, and hell another.
My eyes met hers as I glanced up from her soft hand, and I could tell she was just as affected, by the dark pupils of her eyes and the quickened pulse at her throat.
Pulsing wetly, pumping delicious nectar through her entire body.
I remembered to let go of her hand before I crushed it.
The party lasted into the early hours of the morning, and I played once more before saying my good- byes. Although I had been welcomed into this house, I was still a stranger in this city.
I had moved to Vienna to be part of the musical romanticism that seemed to be sweeping this city. I was drawn to the beauty and taken with the flurry of excitement that seemed rampant in the city.
I was able to establish myself under a highly regarded composer, and soon made a name for myself.
It was easy enough.
The only wrinkle in what could be possibly seen as the perfection of my life, and the music I created, was that I was not truly alive to enjoy it.
I had died several decades before, at the hands of a cruel illness. However, in contradiction to nature, I was soon reanimated at the hands of one who was searching for a companion.
And he made me as he was.
Vampir.
The walking undead. Unholy with our thirst for blood.
My father, for our intents and purposes, had taught me to hunt for animal blood, making it easier to move in and around humans, enjoying other pursuits.
Which is how I had found myself alone in Vienna for the first time.
Staring into the most beautiful vision I had ever had the pleasure to look upon.
And she should not be mine. For she was mortal.
And I was not.
+IB+
Several days later I was expected to attend another party at an acquaintance of my host. I dressed with care, as I had been advised that this would be attended by some of the guests from the previous soiree.
I hoped she would be there.
We entered, and made the obligatory salutations to our host. I found the card tables, all the while my senses waiting for that smell, waiting for the mere hint of her in the air.
And in the middle of the next hand, I found it.
Discreetly, a note was passed to me by a servant. I opened it under the table and read, in a feminine scrawl, words which excited me beyond measure.
Meet me on the balcony.
I folded out of the game, and made my way through the crowded room to the balcony. The air was crisp, and I wondered if she would feel the affects of the cold.
I shut the small door to the balcony, and knew she was to my right, in the shadows.
"Fräulein Swan?" I queried.
She moved out of the darker corner, into the moonlight.
"Bella, please, Herr Cullen."
Her dress was an icy blue, it melted with the moonlight, and I swallowed against the burn in my throat that her presence evoked.
I swallowed. "Edward then, if I am to call you Bella."
She nodded, her lashes sweeping her cheeks as she looked down. A blush crept over her lovely features.
"Bella?"
Her eyes met mine again, and she was as a small animal, caught in the first stirrings of danger. I stepped closer to her, and she took a step back towards the darker corner.
She shivered, and I moved closer to her. She took in my eyes, and I listened to her heartbeat increase, her breathing raise. Her pupils dilated in fear, and something else.
My hands lifted, and slowly, I settled them over her arms, where her skin was bare above her white satin evening gloves. She gasped when my skin met hers.
I noted the intake of breath, and I leaned close, torturing myself with her scent.
"Why did you ask me out here? It is a large risk."
She nodded, "I know."
"Why did you do it?" My hand reached up of its own volition, but I stopped before I touched her cheek.
Her breasts rose and fell at the neckline of her dress, as she took a deep breath to speak, "Since that night a sennight ago, I cannot erase you from my mind. Maybe I'm too forward, maybe I'm doing this wrong, but I have to know who you are. Why you affect me the way you do."
I took another step forward, and she moved with me, as if we were dancing. She squeaked when her back met the wall.
"It would not do for me to answer all of your questions, mein Engelchen." I leaned close, my nose caressing the warm skin of her neck. I could have her out here, and no one would be the wiser.
She turned her face to mine, and our lips caressed in a small, accidental kiss.
"I must go," she said breathlessly against my lips.
"Stay," I asked, my hands spanning her tiny waist.
"They will miss me soon," she sighed as I kissed her neck, and shivered when my teeth grazed her shoulder.
"Don't go," I placed a kiss over her décolletage, and the small sound she made was truly music I could make all night. A tender note, for me alone.
A train of thought on the inside caught my notice, and I knew we would be caught.
Isabella should not stay in that night air too long, she will catch her death.
I looked into her eyes, my fingers seizing her small delicate chin.
"Until we meet again, mein Engelchen."
I heard her gasp as I jumped over the railing of the balcony, landing quietly two floors below in the garden. Above, I heard the balcony doors open.
"Isabella," a feminine voice called, "what are you doing out here?"
"Watching the stars."
"Come inside where the party is, dear girl. The handsome men are inside, waiting to dance with you."
"Very well."
I heard footsteps echo, and the balcony doors closed.
+IB+
And so it was this way, we would find ourselves at the same evening parties, somehow stealing a moment together.
I would stand and wait and sometimes she sent a servant with a note, other times she would hand the note to me herself. Always it was to meet her in some discreet corner.
Where it was quiet, where it was dark.
Ah! If she only knew the nefarious plans I had for her. For every time that we met, it went a little further. At first, it was a touch, my fingers tracing over her skin, her gloved hand on my arm. Then her gloves were removed, and her fingertips would trace my jaw. Then it was a chaste kiss on the lips, followed by more subtle persuasions.
Once, we found a quiet library, and I pulled her against me, my lips kissing her neck, my teeth skimming over her rapid pulse. But I did not drink.
But, oh! How I wanted to taste her. Everywhere.
In the moments where we could not be together, we took to exchanging correspondence. Usually, it was via servants, who were paid well for quick delivery and silent compliance.
My angel, my all, my very self
We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful
EDWARD
...
Edward,
My heart is a silly thing, it knows you are near and aches when you are away. It is to the point of near madness, and I am driven to the window at night, wondering where you are and if you are thinking of me also.
My aunt now wonders at the dark circles under my eyes, and bids me drink some horrible tonic. It is vile, and I have thrown it outside after she leaves.
I miss you. I love you.
~Bella
...
Bella,
You are suffering, my dearest creature…You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life! thus! without you - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?
Your
Edward
...
And so it was, by the grace of good fortune, that I was unobtrusively turned out of my current flat, and upon discussion with my acquaintance, I was given residence within his large home. I was one of several guests who were staying for the season, and I made haste to my new lodgings.
It was no grand room, but the bed was there, and all the usual trappings of humanity: wardrobe, wash basin. I was lucky enough to have a window, and could observe the back court and garden of the estate.
Best of all, it was in the same wing as my Bella, and we sometimes passed in the small hallway, and exchanged quiet declarations. I did not join the family for mealtimes, tending to break my fast in the quiet of my room. At least, that was the excuse I gave. I could tell from the reaction in their thoughts, that this attributed as a quirk to my musician's demeanor, and I was left to my own devices.
But the night time was glorious. Those nights where no event was scheduled, the guests would mingle, and I found myself by the fire, studying the chess board.
Chess was a boring game, as most opponents would scream their maneuvers at me from their minds, and it was hard not to pick them out of their heads.
There was, of course, one exception.
My Bella, mein Engelchen, was the perfect quiet companion over the chessboard, her mind brilliantly silent to me. The soft reprieve of her quiet mind, locked away from me, both fascinated and calmed me. It also made her presence all the more addictive.
So it was to my surprise that she made her final move on the board for that evening, "Check mate, Herr Cullen."
I blinked and looked down at the board. No one had ever bested me before.
I caught my dark hungry eyes in her eyes as I countered, "You shall pay for that later, mein Engelchen."
She pursed her lips, and the action made my trousers uncomfortably tight, "I look forward to it," she whispered.
She stood and, in that graceful way of hers, quit the room.
Tonight, I would make her mine. Tonight, I would taste her.
+IB+
I waited until it was very late, until the entire household was quiet and asleep, until the servants were in their quarters, and only the soft sighs of sleep could be heard by my sensitive ears.
I walked by stealth, needing no candle light as my eyes knew the darkness well, and my nose followed her scent. I arrived at her door; it was at the end of the hall. Quickly and quietly, I opened it and let myself into the room.
I was in what appeared to be a morning room. Candles were lit, lending a soft glow to the otherwise harsh darkness. A heavy red curtain covered the window, and a matching red couch sat on a rug in front of the fire.
And there, in front of the dying fire, lay my heart, fast asleep. She was wrapped in green velvet; it was the same dress she had worn earlier this evening. Her skin was like a soft pearl in the candle glow, and my eyes studied her ethereal beauty, while my throat burned for a taste of her. One of her arms was arched over her head, her hand resting near her forehead, and the posture seemed both giving and vulnerable.
I could not stand it anymore. I had to have her.
Slowly, I stalked forward. The silence seemed loud in my ears, my throat burned, and my instincts took over. Her smell filled my nostrils, and I listened to the moist sound of her blood, moving idly through her veins.
Her breathing was still soft, and her eyes moved behind her eyelids as she dreamed.
Her pulse thudded in my ears, and my mouth watered with venom. I tried to swallow it back, and my throat protested, wanting blood.
Her blood.
I bent over her, my knee coming to rest near her hip. My arm coming around her waist, arching her spine towards me. Her chin angled, exposing more of her neck to me, and her artery pulsed, beguiling.
My lips touched her neck, and she sighed in her sleep. I knew I must be careful, should she ingest too much of my venom, it would be enough to turn her, like me.
As gently as I could, I opened her skin to me, and it was as if planets shifted, the earth moved, and everything clicked into place.
Her taste was an absolute euphoria I never wanted to come down from. I fed from her luscious neck, and she sighed in her sleep.
"Edward," she breathed.
Abruptly, I stopped. It pained me to do so, such was her beautiful taste. I licked her neck, sealing the wound with the tiniest amount of venom.
"Edward, I waited for you," she whispered. Her hands crept around my neck, and I swallowed the last of her taste down my throat. Greedily, I wanted more, knowing I couldn't take more than I had already.
I licked my lips, as my nose skimmed along her jaw and up her cheek. Her eyes opened and looked into mine, and I pressed a kiss against her lips.
"You are sure you are ready for this?" I asked.
"Yes, Edward. I want you. Only you."
I am a fiend. A nightmare, a murderer, a coveter. I am a soulless demon.
And now, I planned on adding maidenhead stealer to this list of vulgarities.
My arms moved, sliding under her knees and her back, and I lifted her. Trustingly, she kept her arms around my neck, and her dark brown hair glistened in the small candlelight.
The door to her bedroom stood open, and I carried her inside. The curtains had not been drawn, and moonlight filtered in, casting light on the white linen covering her bed.
I set her down and went into the other room to blow the candles out. When I returned, she was trying to unbutton her dress, struggling nervously.
I swept her fingers aside, and had the small buttons undone down her back. My hands were at her shoulders, and slid the tiny bell sleeves over her arms. The dress pooled at her feet, and she moved her hands to tug at the ribbons of her chemise. I removed this from her shoulders first, kissing the skin as it was revealed to me.
"You are so beautiful, mein Engelchen."
"Truly?"
I kissed the side of her neck, where only moments before I had pierced the skin. "Truly."
Her stays were last, and as I unlaced them, she breathed more fully. Her fingers unlaced the ribbons of her pantalets and they fell to the floor as the stays slid from her arms and she let them drop to join the rest of her clothing. She turned then, and I had a glance of full soft breasts, a tiny willowy waist and soft hips before she pressed against me, shyly.
My hands were at my cravat, and I loosened it. She tugged it from around my neck and dropped it behind her, as my lips found hers. Her hands lay against my chest, before sliding up, to take my jacket off. It fell behind us, while her nimble fingers moved to the buttons of my shirt, dancing from the collar downward, sliding against the fabric.
Our mouths melded, her tongue touching mine shyly at first until I took over the kiss, demanding more from her. She opened my shirt, pulling it from my trousers and slowly pushed it down my arms.
She touched me, her warm hands a fire on my icy flesh.
Bella pressed herself against me, and I hissed at the contact of her heat against me. I stepped from her slightly, and lifted her against my chest again, carrying her the rest of the way to the bed.
Depositing her in the center, she seemed to shrink back into the covers, reaching for a pillow to cover herself, but I stopped her.
"Don't. Let me look at you, love."
I could see her blush in the moonlight, as I studied the unmarred perfection before me. Gentle slopes of soft skin, valleys and plains. Her nipples were pink and hardened with cold, and for a moment, I wished I was warmer.
I traced a finger from her neck, over her heart, between her breasts, and moved over her belly to her navel.
"You are exquisite."
She released a breath as I knelt over her, kissing her neck, and following the same path of my finger. I could taste her on my lips, from her skin alone. Her scent drove me near insane with lust, but I knew that I must go slowly.
For both of us.
My lips moved back up towards her breasts, and I teased her, kissing the warm flesh around her nipple before fully engulfing the aroused peak with my mouth.
She moaned, her fingers combing through my hair, her nails at the nape of my neck, as I swirled my tongue over her, sucking, and her legs moved, rubbing together. I knew what she needed there, but not yet. My eyes closed as the taste of her skin filled my mouth. Gently, softly, my teeth grazed over her and she groaned arching her back.
I lifted my mouth, and kissed her over her heart.
"Do you like that?"
"Yes," she shyly whispered. I teased her other breast, her soft skin in my mouth as I tasted, teased and sucked until she was writhing beneath me.
My lips moved up towards the column of her neck, and to her ear as my hands went to the front of my trousers, where I undid the buttons. I was free in a matter of seconds.
"Open your legs, mein Engelchen."
She hesitated, but her eyes looked trustingly into mine as I settled between them. We gasped together, our breath mingling in surprise at the contrast of fire and ice.
My hardened length was nestled against her, and as my lips found her ear, my hand reached between us to touch her. I sucked her earlobe into my mouth as my fingers swirled around the tiny nub of aroused flesh I found between her wet folds. She pushed against my hand as I continued to kiss her neck, and her nipples rubbed against the skin of my chest as she arched her back in need.
"Edward," she panted, "I need…"
I kissed her mouth, "What do you need?"
"You."
"Open your legs wider, yes, like that."
I positioned myself at her entrance, and kissed her mouth as I entered her in one stroke, smelling blood as the tiny barrier was ripped open. My throat burned, and I tried to quiet the possessive growl in my throat as not to frighten her. I could feel her tense underneath me.
She trembled as I let her lips go, to look at her face. "Are you alright?"
She bit her lip and nodded, as a small tear escaped, and rolled towards her hairline.
"Shhh. I am sorry. I will stay still, it will be all right in a moment."
I paused then, and tried hard not to move. It was difficult to say the least.
I looked at her face. "Are you ready?"
She nodded and I moved out and back in again, her heat surrounding me. She whimpered.
"This is too much for you-"
"No, Edward. Please, keep going."
I did, moving my hips again. I tried to reach between us, moving my fingers over her aroused flesh, bringing her closer until her hips bucked against me.
When she was moaning, I pressed again inside her, trying to move with her to bring her to completion. She sighed this time, and her face relaxed slightly.
We found rhythm, and moved in perfect unison together. I could tell when she was close, her soft little cries became louder and I captured them with my mouth. I continued to move my finger against her, swirling, until she writhed beneath me.
She tensed up, and I felt her tip over the edge, dying that little death, and I was not long in following after her.
There seemed to be an encompassing glow, like a bubble around us. She was soft and warm in my arms, her body slick against mine. The moment she shivered, I pulled the coverlet over us. She drew tiny circles on my chest, and the darkness seemed to pulse around us.
I realized it was her heart.
"Is it always like this?" she whispered.
"Not that I know of. But then, I have never known anyone quite like you, Bella."
I squeezed her in my arms.
"You are not like other men, Edward."
I laughed and nuzzled her throat. "You dare speak of other men to me?"
She giggled. "You know what I mean, Edward."
I sighed. This was very dangerous territory.
"You are right. I am not like other men."
"Why is that?" she asked.
My hand ran down her side, to her hip, squeezing.
"Be careful what you ask, you may get answers you do not want."
She sighed, and I could almost feel her mind racing.
"I have theories."
I tensed. "Really?"
She nodded but did not continue. I jostled her gently. "Well?"
"Your skin is cold, and I never see you during the day at the park, or out riding. You never join us for mealtimes, and you are so very pale."
I tried to laugh off her observations. "I am merely dedicated to my work."
Bella's cheek rested against my chest, as she silently contemplated my rebuttal.
"Edward?" she whispered, her voice soft and quiet, hesitating in the darkness.
"Hmm?" I answered, as my hand swept over her soft skin.
"Why can't I hear your heart beating?"
I swallowed. This was getting worse by the second.
I took a deep breath, which was a wrong move, as her scent reminded me of her delectable taste.
She angled herself up so she could look me in the eye, folding her arms on my chest.
"I might be female, Edward. But I'm not stupid."
"I don't know what you mean."
She ducked her chin back down, and her arms were around me, as if to keep me from moving away from her.
"I heard the maids talking once. About a man who wasn't a man. About how he…lived on blood."
The silence between her words weighed heavily in the air around us.
"About how they are dead, but they can live forever."
I swallowed, but this was nervousness, and I knew my body was too tense.
"About…vampires."
I exhaled as the word seemed to slam off of the walls around us.
"And?" I asked.
"I know what you are, Edward."
I waited a beat, and then asked. "Are you afraid?"
"No. If you were going to hurt me, you've had plenty of opportunity to do so."
My hand found her cheek, and I stroked over her, gently, "I could never hurt you."
"I know," she whispered.
Quiet settled between us, as I tried to process that this slip of a human had found me out, knew something that no human should know.
"Edward. I want to be with you."
I shifted us, so I could see her face, and couldn't resist kissing her lips, "You are with me."
She shook her head slightly, her eyes serious. "I want to be like you, with you."
I hissed my denial. "No, Bella. You mustn't want these things."
She kissed my face, my forehead, my cheeks, my lips, in between murmuring. "But I don't have anything else to live for. This life bores me, the constant empty parties, the prattling on and on about things that do not mean anything. I want to be with you, to experience your life. Your music fills my soul."
"Bella. Bella stop. My music may fill your soul, but when you are…like me, you no longer own your soul, it is no longer yours, you are damned. I am damned."
"Please, Edward." Her eyes were pleading. "I love you."
Oh God, that she should say that now. To know that she loved me as well, made me want to hold her to me forever.
"I love you too, mein Engelchen, but I cannot."
"Edward, I want to be with you. In every way. Don't you want me?"
I pulled her close to me, maybe too hard. "I do want you, I do, but do not ask me to take your life away from you."
Against my neck, she whispered words against my skin which were my own truth:
"This life is nothing without you. You are my life now."
With those words, I knew what I must do.
I kissed her lips. "I love you. We are each other's forevermore."
My lips were at her cheek, her throat, and I pulled her close to me as my nose caressed that pulsing flesh.
Again, I opened her neck, but this time, it was so that my venom could steal into her blood stream. I drank from her, for the last time, and sealed the wound.
She cried out, her whole body tensing against me, as the venom hit her system.
The change was excruciating, but she would survive. She would be more than perfection.
She would be mine.
She screamed, and I tried to quiet her.
It was to my dismay though, as a maid suddenly let herself into the room, and gasped. She turned and fled through the doorway.
"Wait!"
But the maid was already down the hall, screaming for my host. With inhuman speed, I dressed.
I wanted to carry her away with me, but knew I would risk being exposed, as sunlight dappled through the curtains now.
I would have to hide in the sewers until evening, and then make my way back to Bella, mein Engelchen.
Kissing her lips, I made a hasty exit out of her window.
+IB+
BPOV
It was three days later that I opened my eyes, my new eyes, to a world that was entirely new to me.
On the nightstand sat a note, I recognized the handwriting and quickly opened it.
Mein Engelchen,
My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you. Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
A/N
JSYK. Not all of this fic will take place in the past.
Thanks for reading!
PS: Some awesome writers have entered into the pick a pic challenge. Go over and have a read, and make sure you vote! I beta'd for luckyirishtart, who has written something with a lot of potential for continuing.
My pre-reader snshyne has also put forth an awesome entry, as well as the winning bidder for the above chapter, Randommama.
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