My Roommate
Ellos peasants. My name is Stephano. Just Stephano, you don't get to know my last name. Welcome to Brennenburg Prep Academy, I don't know why you want to be here… It sucks here, Jesus Christ you're stupid for coming here. Eh whatever just hope you have what it takes newbie. Enjoy your terrible stay…
Mr. Chair's POV
I ain't got no type (Nah)
Bad b****es is the only thing that I like
You ain't got no life (Nah)
Cups with the ice and we do thi-
I groaned as I smacked my alarm. I am going to kill Felix for messing with my alarm again. I yawned as I sat up. Well at least it wasn't Lady Gaga this time…
I dragged myself out of bed walking to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Today's the day. The day we go to the school of our dreams, Brennenburg Prep Academy. Well better not go to the school smelling like this, shower time.
Twenty minutes later I'm dressed in my new uniform and all of my bags are packed downstairs ready to go. I looked at the clock and smiled. Ten minutes to spare, Feli should be coming here any minute. My stomach grumbled and I chuckled. Might as well make us both some breakfast.
I hummed quietly as went in the kitchen and looked in the fridge.
"Hmm what to cook. What to cook… Where's the ba- Oh there it is…"
I smiled as I grabbed the bacon, eggs, and the pancake mix. Can't hurt to make pancakes, it brings joy to the day… Well any food does… I grabbed the pan for the bacon and bended down to reach for one for the eggs until I heard a whistle.
"Whoa Chaise giving me breakfast and a show! You seriously must be happy today."
I squeaked (totally a manly squeak don't judge me!) and tried to stand up quickly but hit my head in the process. I fell back and landed on my butt, I rubbed my head as I glared at Felix. Ouch… That hurt… Great job genius… Of course you forget your best friend has a key.
"Feli! You jerk, that hurt!"
He stuck out his tongue out at me as he winked.
"Not my fault you got flustered when I complemented you and you fell out of embarrassment. Nice ass by the way."
He smirked as he said the last words. I rolled my eyes and got up off the floor. I crossed my arms at him.
"Well thanks to you there's not going to be any pancakes or Chase Cakes as you like to call them."
Felix gave me a blank expression then all of a sudden he fell to his knees looking at the ceiling dramatically.
"NOOOOOOOO! NOT THE CHASE CAKES! WHY!? WHY THE CHASE CAKES!?"
Oh god not again…. He knows I'm kidding right… Felix turned and looked at me with glossy, teary eyes. He crawled over to me and pulled on the ends of my shirt.
"PLEASE CHAISE! CHAISEEE! PLEAAAAASEEE! Please just this once for me. I want it so bad."
"Feli… I was just…"
"No hear me out, I will not go to school without having it please I need it sooo bad."
This sounds so negative…
"Umm Felix…"
"Chaise c'mon what do want? You want shampoo? Cause you know I got shampoo for you… Haha hey that rhymed…"
"CHAISE YOU AND FELIX ARE NOT HAVING SEX ARE YOU?! You better not be doing it on my nice table or counter."
I turned horrified while Felix was trying so hard not to laugh.
"You guys better have condoms too, and Felix stop begging for it. Just get it."
Felix bust out laughing and fell back on the floor. I felt my whole face turn red from embarrassment.
"MOM! WE AREN'T HAVING SEX! GOD!"
"Sorry honey but from up hear it sounded like Feli was begging for some of them Chaise Cakes alright… If you know what I mean."
Felix's face was turning red from laughing so hard while I just face palmed.
"Mom please stop, I can't... C'mon Felix we're getting McDonald's or something…"
"Don't I get a kiss and hug first."
I looked up and saw my mom leaning against the kitchen's door frame smirking. I huffed, as Felix probably laughed harder than ever. I gave him a playful glare and lightly kicked him in the stomach as I walked towards my mom. He kept laughing though he probably felt it. I hugged my mom as she kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair. I huffed and puffed out my cheeks.
"Mom."
"Yes Chaise darling?"
"Don't do that please."
"Oh whatever you can fix it later."
She smiles and playfully bumps my hip. But then she held my shoulders with a serious face. Uh oh… Serious mode activated…
"Chaise Alexander Chair."
"Yes mommy?" (hey I only use it when we're being serious)
"Call me and if anyone messes with you don't be afraid to fight back. Beat their ass if you have to, don't let nobody walk over you baby."
I smiled at her and hugged her again. She has so got to be the coolest mom in the universe…
"Mom you know you're the coolest mom in the universe?"
She flipped her hair sassily… (wait is that even a word?) (*A/N* IS NOW BEOOTCH!) (O.o) Felix whooped in the background.
"Work it girl! Yaas flip that hair!"
She winked at Felix and I groaned.
"Honey I'm the best mama in the galaxy."
"Mom…"
"Okay, okay sorry Chaisey pooh! I just love embarrassing you it's so much fun!"
She chuckled as she pinched my cheeks and gave me another kiss. My mom looked at us both and put her hands on her hips.
"Alright you two get Chaise's stuff in the car, you guys can make breakfast another time. You'll be late for your orientation if you don't."
We huffed but nodded and grabbed my bags taking them to the car. When we finished putting the last bag in Felix laughed again. I looked at him and tried to keep a straight but failed horribly. I bust out laughing as well.
"Oh my god, your mom thought we had sex?! OMG I ship us so much harder now!"
I chuckled as I ruffled his hair since he was leaning down a little.
"Whatever and she ships us so hard that I felt the feels."
"Dude that was pretty corny."
"I know…" (Blame the writer.) (*A/N* What was that Chaise?!) (Blame her for being awesome? That's what I meant… Sort of…)
We both laughed leaning against the car. My mom walked up to us laughing when she saw us she held out a plate for each of us.
"Think you guys deserve some awesome pancakes for the road."
"Thanks mom you're so awesome!"
"Thanks Mama C! You're so the best mama ever!"
She smiled and flipped her hair playfully at us.
"Well you know I try my best, now c'mon you two before you're late since you still have a thirty minute drive. Let me get my hugs and kisses!"
We all grouped hug and she gave each of us a kiss.
"I love you both so much. Don't get into any trouble Feli I know how much of a klutz you can be. And Chaise don't get pregnant by nobody."
Felix burst out of laughing as I turned Fifty Shades of Red.
"MOM! You know that's not going to happen! Ugh love you bye mom."
I hugged her again and opened the passenger seat door. Felix laughed again and hugged my mom again.
"I'm so gonna miss you and your cooking Mama C!"
"And I'm gonna miss you and your laugh Feli. Don't worry about cooking Chaise has you covered on that."
She winked as she laughed again and kissed his forehead. I huffed beeped the horn looking at them with a 'Are you coming or not' look.
"Alright Chaisey pooh don't get jelly I'm coming. He is so jealous Mama C, love you! We'll call when we finish unpacking and stuff."
She laughed as he ran over to the driver's side waving at her.
"Bye Felix! Bye Chaise! Love you both call me okay! I'm a lonely old lady here."
We laughed and waved as Felix got in the car.
"We will don't worry mom just watch Game of Thrones or Scandal and you'll be good. Love you too!"
"We'll bring back ice cream for you promise!"
She smiled at us and waved as the car started.
"You better! Stay safe you two."
Felix started backing out the driveway as I smiled at her.
"Will do, see soon mom!"
She waved as we pulled off towards Brennenburg Prep Academy, this is going to be a long trip.
Stephano's POV
"Stupid idiot… Who the hell does he think he is?"
I stomped down the hallway with my brother… Well correction twin brother, we got kicked out of class. Again. For fighting… Again.
"Hey Stephy… At least you're not getting suspended…"
"I should've beat his stupid ass into next year. Jesus Christ, who does he think he is trying to grab my ass like that? I'm so not gay…"
"Sure you aren't Stephano…"
"Shut up Gonzalo, Jesus Christ."
"Hey can't deny what you are man…"
"You're the worst twin ever I swear."
He held his heart as we continued walking down the hallway.
"Hurtful!"
I put hands in my pockets and shrugged.
"Well it's the hurtful truth."
He huffed and shoved my shoulder playfully. I acted like I didn't even feel it as we continued to the office. Ugh this school is so stupid I swear.
"You're so mean to me. I'm supposed to be your twin man."
He pouted and crossed his arms. I sighed and we continued walking through the empty halls in silence. I kind of feel like a jerk now… Eh no I don't. I sighed when we reached the door to the office and held the door open.
"Let it go idiot."
He grinned as he cleared his throat and looked at me. Uh oh, he better not.
"Don't you dare… Gonzalo don't…"
Gonzalo just smirked as he struts past me and singed at the top of his lungs.
"LET IT GO! LET IT GOOOOO! CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE! LET IT GOOOOO!"
I face palmed as everyone else in the office looked pretty surprise. Gonzalo ran and jumped on the main office desk. The secretary shrieked in horror as she fell back in her chair surprised. I stifled a laugh beneath my hand as my brother kept singing and spinning around on the desk.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO SAAAYY! LET THE SORM RAGE ON! THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY!"
All of a sudden a door slammed open. Damn it Gonzalo you idiot. Gonzalo looked over and jumped off the desk and walked towards me.
"Is mad, pissed, beyond pissed?"
The principal walked towards us with a red face full of anger. Damn is it good if you can see a vein?
"STEPHANO! GONZALO! GET IN HERE NOW!"
I looked at Gonzalo smirking with my hands still in my pockets.
"Looks like he's hella pissed bro."
Gonzalo smirked and whistled Let It Go as we walked past the red faced principal into his office. The principal gave him a heated glare and he stopped as the red-faced man slammed the door to the office. Well, this should be fun…
Hello little cookie pies! M.O. here…. Ya know Malec Obsessions…. No ok… Anyways I want to apologize to most of you lovely cookies that I kept waiting, that was like so rude of me… I'm really sorry guys I feel like jerk for not updating.
Stephano: Well you are one… Idiot.
C'mon Steph I had too much schoolwork and issues…
Stephano: *crosses arms* Really? What about summer then?
Well uh… *sweat drop* Look I'm sorry kay…. I baked a cake to make it better…
Stephano: Shut up no one wants your stupid cake.
Pewdie: Stephano don't be mean!
*sobs in corner* I don't understand why he's so mean to me… Just say the thingy…. Stupid Stephano.
Pewdie: *gives him a look* Bro you need to apologize sooner or later. She might not function in this state…
Stephano: Whatever. Malec Obsession does own me, Pewdie, or any other characters in this book… Except probably Chaise's mom… Hey Pewds don't hug her!
*gives him a smirk* hehe…